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[ReyVGM]

I understand GI doesn't have the same reviewers, but ever since I saw this N64 Goldeneye review I knew these guys were horrible.

Better than Turok? Bad controls? And the worst one: "it's just another fps" I wonder if they say the same thing about most games these days.

Transcript of 2 out of 3 reviews:


Reiner, The Raging Gamer

"Take Turok, add James Bond and you have the general idea behind Goldeneye 007. Sure this game has a few innovative features like the awesome sniping mode, but it's still just another first-person title on the N64. Don't get me wrong, this game rocks, but the controls has some problems. It's tough to get a solid handle on the controls, and you can't configure them. Plus, switching weapons is a real hassle since you can only scroll up, and there's no menu of what you have (unless you hit Start). Otherwise, the missions are complex, the graphics are impressive and the gameplay is solid. Goldeneye is good, but game enthusiasts will surely have a gripe with the control."

Concept -8.5
Graphics -9.25
Sound -8.25
Playability -8.75
Entertainment 9.25

Overall 8.75


Andy, The Game Hombre

"Goldeneye is entertaining, to say the least. The sniper mode alone makes this game. Then add in the four-player mode, interesting missions, a wicked arsenal of weapons, and superb graphics and the N64 has got itself another winner. This game has its drawbacks though. First of all, it's not as good as Turok. Number two, it's yet another first-person game in the N64's minuscule line-up. And finally, it does not have a run button, which I know sounds trivial, but when you do a level for the fourth or fifth time, it can be very annoying."

Concept -8.75
Graphics -9
Sound -8
Playability -8
Entertainment 8

Overall 8.5

 

[sixteen-bit]

Goldeneye really doesn't hold up well this days.

Prophetic review, if anything.

 

[MikeE21286]

The 6.4 Mario Kart N64 got from Gamespot was far more aggregious IMO.

 

[Foxtastical]

It's an opinion. Whoa.

And christ, it's hard to articulate the potential cultural impact of a video game in a silly video game review.

 

[mattp]

lol @ OP

edit: also, both of them are still at GI
also, GI was so awesome back then. miss the pre-gamestop days

 

[thomasmahler]

The 6.4 Mario Kart N64 got from Gamespot was far more aggregious IMO.

Deserved. Mario Kart 64 is the worst Mario Kart entry ever. What a huge disappointment after the genius Super Mario Kart.

 

[Keyser Soze]

OMG SCANS

 

[ShockingAlberto]

Wait

Is the second review complaining that it's another game in a not-very crowded genre on the system?

 

[Wario64]

Magazine scans aren't welcome here, hope it was worth it OP

 

[bjork]

It didn't have crying baby noises like Doom 64.

 

[zomgbbqftw]

Goldeneye really doesn't hold up well this days.

The fuck is this shit. I break out the N64 plenty when my mates come over just to play Goldeneye and MK64.

 

[JeTmAn81]

This reminds me of the 8.8 Zelda fiasco. Get over it, people.

 

[volturnus]

Magazine scans aren't welcome here, hope it was worth it OP

From 15 years ago..

 

[BassForever]

I mean I always thought Turok as a single player shooter was better, but Goldeneye was way better for multiplayer.

 

[thetrin]

Man, that's some god-awful writing.

 

[ReyVGM]

Magazine scans aren't welcome here, hope it was worth it OP

Even if it's just a snippet?

 

[Himself]

The 6.4 Mario Kart N64 got from Gamespot was far more aggregious IMO.

6.4 sounds about right.

 

[bishoptl]

Goldeneye really doesn't hold up well this days.

Prophetic review, if anything.

Yup. Seems spot on in retrospect.

 

[kodt]

This is funny:

1. You can configure the controls, there are several options including a dual analog option using two controllers, which was very unique for the time.

2. You could cycle backwards through weapons by Hitting A+Z

3. "There is no menu of what you have unless you hit start" lol... so he is saying there is a menu of what you have?

4. There is no run b/c the default speed was run. You could walk by not pushing the stick all the way or by ducking if you wanted to move slower.

5. Turok was a good game, but it had its own issues. There weren't that many FPS games on N64 at the time. Especially compared to how many FPS games we have now.

 

[Neuromancer]

I have no problem with these ancient reviews that of course lack the 20/20 hindsight we all have today.

I take this back on account of the factional errors and shitty writing

 

[WrikaWrek]

12 months after Tupac died.

 

[Mudkips]

It's an opinion. Whoa.

And christ, it's hard to articulate the potential cultural impact of a video game in a silly video game review.

Opinion my ass. Half of the first one is just wrong.
You absolutely could configure the controls out the ass. You could use 2 fucking controllers and have dual analog if you wanted.
You absolutely could switch weapons backward.

 

[massoluk]

High 8.0s is still a pretty good score.

Game Informer's Paper Mario and Eurogamer's Resident Evil 4 Wii Edition are more offending. The Pauline Kael's Sound of Music review equivalent.

 

[Celine]

I remember a 7 to Doom by Edge.

 

[dark10x]

Really awful writing, but I can't disagree. Never was impressed with the game and it definitely doesn't hold up.

Turok IS a much better game and is still a blast to play in 2012, believe it or not. It also animates beautifully and runs decently well, unlike Goldeneye.

Still, their critiques for the game are poorly written and completely different from those which define my dislike for it.

 

[Atomski]

Yup. Seems spot on in retrospect.

In retrospect Turok was better?

 

[Drazgul]

Crappy review. Should say "Play Duke Nukem 3D instead."

 

[kodt]

Really awful writing, but I can't disagree. Never was impressed with the game and it definitely doesn't hold up.

Turok IS a much better game and is still a blast to play in 2012, believe it or not. It also animates beautifully and runs decently well, unlike Goldeneye.

Still, their critiques for the game are poorly written and completely different from those which define my dislike for it.

Turok had no multiplayer... that was most of the reason people enjoyed Goldeneye.

Turok had some cool animations, but did not have location based animations like Goldeneye. A random death animation would play when you killed someone.

The view distance was horrible in Turok, dat fog!

I really liked Turok, don't get me wrong, but I think Goldeneye was clearly better.

 

[olimpia84]

It seems like they didn't really play the game that much to review it.

 

[dark10x]

In retrospect Turok was better?

Fuck yeah it was. Turok was the better game then and is MUCH better now. Obviously it's just a single player experience but it's still a great game and was a huge inspiration for Metroid Prime, I'd argue (ex-Iguana staffers went on to work at Retro on Prime).

Turok had some cool animations, but did not have location based animations like Goldeneye. A random death animation would play when you killed someone.

Yes, but those animations are much better and more satisfying. Plus, the game doesn't run at 10-20 fps (or worse) like Goldeneye. It was a choppy mess even for 97.

 

[nincompoop]

Didn't Turok have a draw distance of like 2 feet?

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Turok was okay but really doesn't deserve to be uttered in the same breath as Goldeneye.

Fuck all draw distance, chugged worse than Goldeneye and the level design and sheer range of play modes are simply incomparable.

 

[Dachande]

The controls WERE shit though. I thought that even back in the day when it first came out. Much preferred Turok's control scheme and couldn't understand anyone who didn't.

 

[levious]

Really awful writing, but I can't disagree. Never was impressed with the game and it definitely doesn't hold up.

Turok IS a much better game and is still a blast to play in 2012, believe it or not. It also animates beautifully and runs decently well, unlike Goldeneye.

Still, their critiques for the game are poorly written and completely different from those which define my dislike for it.

I thought Turok 1 was terrible. 2 was pretty good, I remember liking monkey frag tag.

The controls WERE shit though. I thought that even back in the day when it first came out. Much preferred Turok's control scheme and couldn't understand anyone who didn't.

wasn't there a turok-like control scheme in the Goldeneye options?

 

[Neuromancer]

Opinion my ass. Half of the first one is just wrong.
You absolutely could configure the controls out the ass. You could use 2 fucking controllers and have dual analog if you wanted.
You absolutely could switch weapons backward.

That's true. I remember playing with 2 controllers, it was fucking crazy town. (In a good way.)

Didn't it also have some kind of widescreen settings? Can't remember if it would fill out a widescreen TV or if it just letterboxed.

wasn't there a turok-like control scheme in the Goldeneye options?

Yeah that's the one I used. Think it was called Solitaire.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Turok was okay but really doesn't deserve to be uttered in the same breath as Goldeneye.

Yeah, Goldeneye shit all over Turok(speaking of Turok 2 actually).

Turok looked great at the time but it wasn't nearly as fun or creative, it was rather repetitive.

 

[Captain_Spanky]

You can configure the controls though, so that they are identical to Turok in fact. It's how I always played!

 

[dark10x]

I thought Turok 1 was terrible. 2 was pretty good, I remember liking monkey frag tag.

Terrible? In what way?

I will defend Turok 1 up and down. Still love that game and just replayed it a few months ago, in fact.

Didn't Turok have a draw distance of like 2 feet?

It also featured unprecedented effects, animation, and level size. It was worth the hit as it kept the framerate reasonably smooth.

Goldeneye ran like absolute shit and I felt it was borderline unplayable even back then.

 

[MYE]

Turok was always a better game imo. Still, that review is terrible

 

[perfectnight]

The 6.4 Mario Kart N64 got from Gamespot was far more aggregious IMO.

Diddy Kong Racing >>>>> that shit

 

[nckillthegrimace]

This is funny:

1. You can configure the controls, there are several options including a dual analog option using two controllers, which was very unique for the time.

2. You could cycle backwards through weapons by Hitting A+Z

3. "There is no menu of what you have unless you hit start" lol... so he is saying there is a menu of what you have?

4. There is no run b/c the default speed was run. You could walk by not pushing the stick all the way or by ducking if you wanted to move slower.

5. Turok was a good game, but it had its own issues. There weren't that many FPS games on N64 at the time. Especially compared to how many FPS games we have now.

Reiner still works at GI. I wonder if his reviews still have enormous factual errors?

 

[Cosmic Schwung]

I could have sworn that it was possible to change the controls. In fact I thought it was possible to use two controllers at once.

Yeah, Goldeneye shit all over Turok.

Turok looked great at the time but it wasn't nearly as fun or creative, it was rather repetitive.

Turok did have some crazy weapons though, and I don't recall fighting a T-rex once in Goldeneye

 

[WrikaWrek]

Wasn't Turok that adaptation of a famous Stephen King novel?

The Mist. I don't know man, don't feel like Turok was the better game.

 

[mattp]

andy = andy mcnamara aka gi's editor in chief

 

[Mobius1]

This actually makes contemporary gaming journalism look good.

 

[MYE]

Wasn't Turok that adaptation of a famous Stephen King novel?

The Mist. I don't know man, don't feel like Turok was the better game.

I thought Turok was based on some comics of the same name

Edit: oh, you made a funny

 

[MikeE21286]

wow, the hate against Mario Kart 64 is strong in here.

I never thought this was popular opinion. As a kid me and my friends absolutely loved that game and played the hell out of it.

 

[Host Samurai]

I LOL'd @ "Just another FPS game". Funny how that is almost never mentioned in reviews these days. I found that comment somewhat refreshing.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Reiner still works at GI. I wonder if his reviews still have enormous factual errors?

You see more and more factual errors in anyone's reviews nowadays.

It's amazing how they don't get their facts straight.

Opinions are opinions but do your homework or know what you are reviewing.

 

[benjipwns]

In March of 97 the same reviewers gave Turok:
Andy: 9.5
Paul: 9.25
Reiner: 9.5

And in January 1999 for Turok 2:
Andy: 9
Paul: 9.25
Reiner: 9