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First dates after meeting online - Pick her up or meet her there?

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G

Ghost_Protocol

Member
Should I even offer? Has anyone who's done the online dating thing picked up their dates without having met them first? Would it creep them out to offer?

Any feedback is welcome.
 
P

potam

Banned
I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.
 
M

Mr.City

Member
The question would be what is your intention. Do you have a nice car and want to impress her? Do you want be a "nice guy" who doesn't want to make her drive/walk/bike all the way over there?

My hunch would be to meet her at the cafe/whatever.
 
K

kmax

Member
Set up some place to meet up. If the date goes well, ask to take her home. If it doesn't, then you just bounce.

No complications.
 
G

Ghost_Protocol

Member
Mr.City said:
The question would be what is your intention. Do you have a nice car and want to impress her? Do you want be a "nice guy" who doesn't want to make her drive/walk/bike all the way over there?

My hunch would be to meet her at the cafe/whatever.
Click to expand...

It's dumb, but I did recently get a nice car and would like to show it off a little bit....
 
H

Horse Detective

Why the long case?
I did it OP and now I am in a happy relationship.
jKkJul9IIT4Pp.png
 
K

Keri

Member
If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.
 
U

User 100115

Banned
Keri said:
If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.
Click to expand...

This. Just meet some place public.
 
G

Ghost_Protocol

Member
Keri said:
No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.
Click to expand...

Yeah, which is why I was hesistant. Even asking could creep her out. I'll just meet her there.
 
K

Keri

Member
Ghost_Protocol said:
Yeah, which is why I was hesistant. Even asking could creep her out. I'll just meet her there.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I understand completely, you probably feel pressure to be chivalrous and offer to pick her up (which is common in traditional dating), but you've made the right call for this context. It's best just to meet her there.
 
H

hokahey

Member
potam said:
I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.
Click to expand...

This. Nothing worse than when an internet date turns terrible and you're dying to leave. I can't imagine having to then also drive her home.

First dates should always be constructed in such a way that it can end quick and easy without it seeming akward. But if it goes well you can always ask her if she wants to continue the date, come home etc.
 
C

Coriolanus

Banned
Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.
 
G

Ghost_Protocol

Member
Devolution said:
Yes
Click to expand...

Since you brought it up, I actually ran into her again in the parking lot again a couple of weeks ago. She recognized the car and asked if I was the one who left the note. Said it was cute, but she's married. She was also way older than I remember lol.

Coriolanus said:
Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.
Click to expand...

And they were all ok with just handing their address over to a complete stranger?
 
U

Unbounded

Member
Always meet them there for the first date. Both as a safety precaution and a way out in case it goes poorly.

If it goes well/she's comfortable with you, you can pick her up in the future.
 
J

johnny_park

Member
Only once have I picked someone up from her place and it was a disaster. She clearly had a few drinks in her, went to dinner where she drank some more, she was all over me through out the night, she wasn't my type and I couldn't ditch her. On the drive home she shoved her face in mine and started kissing me while I was driving.
It's better to meet up at the place because at least you can get out of there if it doesn't go well.
 
G

.GqueB.

Banned
Picking her up adds too much shit. If things go badly you're stuck driving her home instead of simply having the option to drive her home.
 
C

Coriolanus

Banned
Ghost_Protocol said:
And they were all ok with just handing their address over to a complete stranger?
Click to expand...

Most obviously wouldn`t be, If I hadnt chatted with them for at least 4-5 hours, and already gotten their phone number.

Seriously, women aren't some horrendously scared animal that'll bolt asap. You usually know if you've enough intimacy for that kinda thing. I do, anyway.
 
Z

Zebra

Member
kmax said:
Set up some place to meet up. If the date goes well, ask to take her home. If it doesn't, then you just bounce.

No complications.
Click to expand...

But... if they meet up there and he offers to take her home, why would she leave her car/bike/segway there?
 
A

Amagon

Member
Coriolanus said:
Most obviously wouldn`t be, If I hadnt chatted with them for at least 4-5 hours, and already gotten their phone number.

Seriously, women aren't some horrendously scared animal that'll bolt asap. You usually know if you've enough intimacy for that kinda thing. I do, anyway.
Click to expand...

So you're telling me I should treat women like human beings. Fuck, I've been doing it all wrong. :p
 
T

terrdactycalsrock

Member
potam said:
I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.
Click to expand...

Thats a good enough reason. However, if I was the girl I dont think I would even let a guy I have never met pick me up
 
S

siddx

Magnificent Eager Mighty Brilliantly Erect Registereduser
Meet her there. Give her an escape route. And yourself one as well.
 
H

hokahey

Member
Coriolanus said:
Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.
Click to expand...

If a woman decides she's going to fuck you on the first date, which vehicle she's leaving in is irrelevant.

However, if you need to GTFO and are stuck driving? Phew. Rough one.
 
P

PS3GamerKyle

Member
Keri said:
If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.
Click to expand...

This.

This issue isn't about being a "nice guy" or doing "the right thing" or anything like that. You haven't even seen the girl in person yet. Meet her in person at least once before trying something like that.
 
S

Shabadoo69

Member
Always meet her there. I met my current girl friend online and I didn't know where she lived until the 4th date maybe. We did live about 30-45 minutes away from each other so we'd usually meet in the middle but it still would have been the same.
 
Fury Sense

Fury Sense

Member
Picking them up is fun, but I agree with the rest of the thread especially when it comes to meeting online. If you meet irl and you know something about them such as where they work or frequent, and they're already comfortable with you knowing that, then it's probably fine for a first date.
 
M

Mammoth Jones

Member
Meet her there because I always advise my lady friends don't let some random dude know where you live right off the bat. Dude could end up being a creeper.
 
B

BigJonsson

Member
Use public transit and meet her there :)

But if you are in the 'burbs and she doesn't drive then maybe you pick her up if you don't think it'll be awkward
 
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