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44% of American teens are now persistently sad or hopeless

Mistake

Member
In the 90’s the magic medicine to fix kids was ritalin or prozac. Guess what it is now? I’m not surprised by these numbers in the slightest, especially after covid
 
I have many teacher friends too and woo-boy the stories you hear. I'm surprised teachers can last doing this job for 30 years till retirement. At least back when I did grade school in the 80s, students seemed more keener and proper. Everyone did what they were told and if you did something stupid you got sent to the principals office or stood in a corner for an hour. There's always some clowns who didnt really care about grades in high school, but most kids tried to do their best and listened from kindergarten to high school graduation. I went to schools which were normal public schools. No ivy league shit or mansions nearby.

Now, they tell me kids talk back, cell phones, I'm gonna tell my parents on you hoping they get grilled or fired by the board.

And this comes from friends who are teaching in the same districts we grew up in! So it's not like they are teachers in a ghetto while growing up in quiet suburbia.
You have no idea, bro. In the corner back of my classroom my co-teacher colleague and I call it “Love Island” because we have kids (8th graders) making out and sitting on each other’s lap. They use the back of the class to slap-box, wrestle, chill, and dance for tik tok. Many times I feel like I’m just talking to thin air when I give a lesson. At this point I’m demoralized and tired. I’ve basically given up trying to manage the behavior; if the kids want to do the lesson, then they do it, if they don’t, then they don’t.

The talking back and disrespect is insane. When I was in middle school - or even high school - getting up and leaving the classroom without permission was about the most badass thing you could do - you were the talk of the town; in my school, kids leave whenever they please with no regard for the teachers; I’ve been cursed at (fuck you, you’re a piece of shit), racial slurs hurled at me; I’ve had food thrown, I’ve been shoved, and recently a student swatted my hand like I was bug when I tried to shut his computer down for playing a game on his laptop. Even the principal gets yelled at and insulted. I do have a few kids who are sweet and want to learn, but they are often the ones who suffer the most. Teachers are often told to not take their insults seriously, and, to an extent, I agree. At the end of the day, they are kids and while they may be crazy in the class, as mentioned before, they can be quite nice when you are with them 1 on 1 or with a small group. On the other end, there’s no consequences for their behavior and they’ve learned they can get away with a lot of shit without repercussions.

To link this back on topic, I think there is a whole conglomeration of problems in the school system compounded by social media garbage that these kids desperately want to be judged on (as well as adults; because if we’re addicted, just think how hooked they are) how they are perceived and accepted. Narcissus isn’t looking at his reflection on a puddle, but through the lens of a phone camera.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
You have no idea, bro. In the corner back of my classroom my co-teacher colleague and I call it “Love Island” because we have kids (8th graders) making out and sitting on each other’s lap. They use the back of the class to slap-box, wrestle, chill, and dance for tik tok. Many times I feel like I’m just talking to thin air when I give a lesson. At this point I’m demoralized and tired. I’ve basically given up trying to manage the behavior; if the kids want to do the lesson, then they do it, if they don’t, then they don’t.

The talking back and disrespect is insane. When I was in middle school - or even high school - getting up and leaving the classroom without permission was about the most badass thing you could do - you were the talk of the town; in my school, kids leave whenever they please with no regard for the teachers; I’ve been cursed at (fuck you, you’re a piece of shit), racial slurs hurled at me; I’ve had food thrown, I’ve been shoved, and recently a student swatted my hand like I was bug when I tried to shut his computer down for playing a game on his laptop. Even the principal gets yelled at and insulted. I do have a few kids who are sweet and want to learn, but they are often the ones who suffer the most. Teachers are often told to not take their insults seriously, and, to an extent, I agree. At the end of the day, they are kids and while they may be crazy in the class, as mentioned before, they can be quite nice when you are with them 1 on 1 or with a small group. On the other end, there’s no consequences for their behavior and they’ve learned they can get away with a lot of shit without repercussions.

To link this back on topic, I think there is a whole conglomeration of problems in the school system compounded by social media garbage that these kids desperately want to be judged on (as well as adults; because if we’re addicted, just think how hooked they are) how they are perceived and accepted. Narcissus isn’t looking at his reflection on a puddle, but through the lens of a phone camera.
Who knows where on the spectrum of idiocy it lies, but there's a combo of bad parenting, dumb ass kids, social media, and to be fair also schools who seem lenient.

All in all, to keep kids in control you need some kind of way to shut kids down. If students want to be jerks, there's a reason for them acting up because they sure werent like this when you and I were in school. It's not like kids are now born in their genes to do dumb shit at the back of the class. It's not different than all the Floyd riots, Seattle CHOP zone, truck rallies, Russia war, or even a leaky pipe in the kitchen. Authority figures want this shit solved promptly? Act on it. If not it'll fester forever getting worse. Then when someone finally speaks up and says "OK, now we got to fix it". Well good luck. Its now 10x harder to fix then if they fixed it at the beginning.

One thing you'll always notice about issues like this is almost always it's a political/government involved thing. For some reason gov takes forever like they dont care. AT work if there were jerks doing dumb shit at the back of the board room during a meeting, that'd be shut down asap.

Dumb ass kids = learned from the net

Out of control kids at home = lenient parents

Out of control kids at school = lenient school policies

Unfortunately, if even one of these gets lax, the kids can go nuts. So IMO no matter how hard you teachers try to control a class, if you got hyperspatic entitled kids who dont listen because their homelife is the same and they are on social media 24/7, you're shit out of luck.

Now one thing that would work as a kid when we grew up is when you got in shit and a teacher wrote a note to show you parents you fucked up. I had it done once for not doing my homework. Showed dad. Dad pissed. I did my homework. Dad signed note. I gave it back to teacher. Sounds reasonable to me. That's how you can control asshole kids. But modern day, I dont think kids or parents really care.
 
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Winter John

Member
"Now one thing that would work as a kid when we grew up is when you got in shit and a teacher wrote a note to show you parents you fucked up. I had it done once for not doing my homework. Showed dad. Dad pissed. I did my homework. Dad signed note. I gave it back to teacher. Sounds reasonable to me. That's how you can control asshole kids. But modern day, I dont think kids or parents really care."

You fell for that note routine? Holy shit. I never heard of any kid who suckered for that one. You actually took that shit home and showed it your old man? That's hilarious.
 

Swift_Star

Member
This is absolutely ine of the main reasons why we HAVE to defeat the LGBT mafia that's running this country now. People are giving up on traditional gender roles, etc, that had evolved for a REASON because they make people, and society, happier and more fulfilled.

Now if you want to feel special, it's as simple as deciding to identity as LGBT and you've suddenly jumped to the top of the victimhood totem pole, nevermind the many valid reasons why this is a bad idea for so many young children.
And… GONE.
 

rofif

Member
You have no idea, bro. In the corner back of my classroom my co-teacher colleague and I call it “Love Island” because we have kids (8th graders) making out and sitting on each other’s lap. They use the back of the class to slap-box, wrestle, chill, and dance for tik tok. Many times I feel like I’m just talking to thin air when I give a lesson. At this point I’m demoralized and tired. I’ve basically given up trying to manage the behavior; if the kids want to do the lesson, then they do it, if they don’t, then they don’t.

The talking back and disrespect is insane. When I was in middle school - or even high school - getting up and leaving the classroom without permission was about the most badass thing you could do - you were the talk of the town; in my school, kids leave whenever they please with no regard for the teachers; I’ve been cursed at (fuck you, you’re a piece of shit), racial slurs hurled at me; I’ve had food thrown, I’ve been shoved, and recently a student swatted my hand like I was bug when I tried to shut his computer down for playing a game on his laptop. Even the principal gets yelled at and insulted. I do have a few kids who are sweet and want to learn, but they are often the ones who suffer the most. Teachers are often told to not take their insults seriously, and, to an extent, I agree. At the end of the day, they are kids and while they may be crazy in the class, as mentioned before, they can be quite nice when you are with them 1 on 1 or with a small group. On the other end, there’s no consequences for their behavior and they’ve learned they can get away with a lot of shit without repercussions.

To link this back on topic, I think there is a whole conglomeration of problems in the school system compounded by social media garbage that these kids desperately want to be judged on (as well as adults; because if we’re addicted, just think how hooked they are) how they are perceived and accepted. Narcissus isn’t looking at his reflection on a puddle, but through the lens of a phone camera.
If there is hell, this is it.
Holy shit you must have thick skin.
Keep well!
 
You have no idea, bro. In the corner back of my classroom my co-teacher colleague and I call it “Love Island” because we have kids (8th graders) making out and sitting on each other’s lap. They use the back of the class to slap-box, wrestle, chill, and dance for tik tok. Many times I feel like I’m just talking to thin air when I give a lesson. At this point I’m demoralized and tired. I’ve basically given up trying to manage the behavior; if the kids want to do the lesson, then they do it, if they don’t, then they don’t.

The talking back and disrespect is insane. When I was in middle school - or even high school - getting up and leaving the classroom without permission was about the most badass thing you could do - you were the talk of the town; in my school, kids leave whenever they please with no regard for the teachers; I’ve been cursed at (fuck you, you’re a piece of shit), racial slurs hurled at me; I’ve had food thrown, I’ve been shoved, and recently a student swatted my hand like I was bug when I tried to shut his computer down for playing a game on his laptop. Even the principal gets yelled at and insulted. I do have a few kids who are sweet and want to learn, but they are often the ones who suffer the most. Teachers are often told to not take their insults seriously, and, to an extent, I agree. At the end of the day, they are kids and while they may be crazy in the class, as mentioned before, they can be quite nice when you are with them 1 on 1 or with a small group. On the other end, there’s no consequences for their behavior and they’ve learned they can get away with a lot of shit without repercussions.

To link this back on topic, I think there is a whole conglomeration of problems in the school system compounded by social media garbage that these kids desperately want to be judged on (as well as adults; because if we’re addicted, just think how hooked they are) how they are perceived and accepted. Narcissus isn’t looking at his reflection on a puddle, but through the lens of a phone camera.
It sounds like the real problem is we need to be throwing some of these kids out on their asses. The whole idea of “no child left behind” both as a principle and as a policy ends up forcing us to cater to the lowest common denominator. We are telling kids and parents that they are entitled to public education. And they are… provided that they actually participate in that education and don’t disrupt it by being a shithead.

We are allowing the behavior of a few kids to ruin the education of everyone and then that behavior spreads to kids that otherwise might be more willing to learn. The old saying “nip it in the bud” comes to mind.

Maybe if we sent a few of these assholes home to their parents and told them it was their responsibility to deal with the problem, they’d be a little more invested in their kid’s behavior.
 
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rofif

Member
Who knows where on the spectrum of idiocy it lies, but there's a combo of bad parenting, dumb ass kids, social media, and to be fair also schools who seem lenient.

All in all, to keep kids in control you need some kind of way to shut kids down. If students want to be jerks, there's a reason for them acting up because they sure werent like this when you and I were in school. It's not like kids are now born in their genes to do dumb shit at the back of the class. It's not different than all the Floyd riots, Seattle CHOP zone, truck rallies, Russia war, or even a leaky pipe in the kitchen. Authority figures want this shit solved promptly? Act on it. If not it'll fester forever getting worse. Then when someone finally speaks up and says "OK, now we got to fix it". Well good luck. Its now 10x harder to fix then if they fixed it at the beginning.

One thing you'll always notice about issues like this is almost always it's a political/government involved thing. For some reason gov takes forever like they dont care. AT work if there were jerks doing dumb shit at the back of the board room during a meeting, that'd be shut down asap.

Dumb ass kids = learned from the net

Out of control kids at home = lenient parents

Out of control kids at school = lenient school policies

Unfortunately, if even one of these gets lax, the kids can go nuts. So IMO no matter how hard you teachers try to control a class, if you got hyperspatic entitled kids who dont listen because their homelife is the same and they are on social media 24/7, you're shit out of luck.

Now one thing that would work as a kid when we grew up is when you got in shit and a teacher wrote a note to show you parents you fucked up. I had it done once for not doing my homework. Showed dad. Dad pissed. I did my homework. Dad signed note. I gave it back to teacher. Sounds reasonable to me. That's how you can control asshole kids. But modern day, I dont think kids or parents really care.
If kids go nuts without strict control... then maybe that's what we are? We humans?
Our nature is brutal and wild. Kids show how we really are when unrestricted.
 

rofif

Member
This is absolutely ine of the main reasons why we HAVE to defeat the LGBT mafia that's running this country now. People are giving up on traditional gender roles, etc, that had evolved for a REASON because they make people, and society, happier and more fulfilled.

Now if you want to feel special, it's as simple as deciding to identity as LGBT and you've suddenly jumped to the top of the victimhood totem pole, nevermind the many valid reasons why this is a bad idea for so many young children.
I think I know what he meant but he worded it so badly :p
 
If kids go nuts without strict control... then maybe that's what we are? We humans?
Our nature is brutal and wild. Kids show how we really are when unrestricted.
We are that. We can be more. The point of civilization is to civilize people. That’s what a society is supposed to do. Civilize kids to be productive, functional adults. To the extent we are not doing that, we are failing as a society. This is what it means for there to be a crumbling civilization. Failing to “civilize” our people.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
It sounds like the real problem is we need to be throwing some of these kids out on their asses. The whole idea of “no child left behind” both as a principle and as a policy ends up forcing us to cater to the lowest common denominator. We are telling kids and parents that they are entitled to public education. And they are… provided that they actually participate in that education and don’t disrupt it by being a shithead.

We are allowing the behavior of a few kids to ruin the education of everyone and then that behavior spreads to kids that otherwise might be more willing to learn. The old saying “nip it in the bud” comes to mind.

Maybe if we sent a few of these assholes home to their parents and told them it was their responsibility to deal with the problem, they’d be a little more invested in their kid’s behavior.
No doubt. But that's government for ya. You got to treat every person like babies. It's like me driving home and passing a fire station. You wouldnt believe this, but on the two big garage doors they have No Parking signs on them. You'd think you'd let society use common sense and if someone needs to drive to a station they wouldnt park in front of the doors. But the gov actually paid some worker to spend time doing this (and probably to all fire stations).

I dont know what it's like in other provinces, but somewhere in the 2000s I think Ontario got that no kids left behind either thing. This applies up to grade 8. If a kid doesnt even show up to class all year, the school can reco taking the grade over but if the parents want him to advance to the next grade the school has to allow it. Wow. Thats some kind of development skills there. A total idiot can keep advancing.

And also, special needs kids might be comboed into a class of normal kids. So it disrupts the class. It's a weird thing. Growing up all classes were one teacher of around 25-30 kids. Special needs kids had their own teachers and class doing their own thing. Now the schools combine the kids and a class can have two teachers in it. The main and an assistant. How dumb.

So my teacher friends would say some autistic kid acting up would say or do dumb things and you cant do anything about it. It gets to a point they (and the other kids) just got to live with it.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
"Now one thing that would work as a kid when we grew up is when you got in shit and a teacher wrote a note to show you parents you fucked up. I had it done once for not doing my homework. Showed dad. Dad pissed. I did my homework. Dad signed note. I gave it back to teacher. Sounds reasonable to me. That's how you can control asshole kids. But modern day, I dont think kids or parents really care."

You fell for that note routine? Holy shit. I never heard of any kid who suckered for that one. You actually took that shit home and showed it your old man? That's hilarious.
Totally. When youre in grade 4, you listen to teachers. No need to be a rebel.
 

Aesius

Member
PREACH.

One thing I've noticed with acquaintances and their kids, compared to the way I grew up, is that sometimes it's very different in two major ways:

(1) they often try to be "buddies" with their kids, in a way that blurs the boundaries of respect. My dad would always joke, "I'm not your goddamn friend, that's what you have your high school buddies for. I'm your dad. The chief tyrant in this house." My siblings and I... We knew the relationship with our parents, and we have never disrespected them, ever. I've seen so many kids disrespect their parents these days, because the parents constantly try to be at the peer level of the kids.

(2) there's often a "negotiation" that happens during disputes, which is baffling to me. My parents would just say, "... because we said so. End of story." There was no negotiating. No back and forth. If they said to do the dishes at that moment in time, I had to do the dishes at that moment in time. Clean my room. Do my homework. Etc. It wasn't me trying out-smart them and negotiating to "do things later."
There's a fine line to be drawn. The "cool parents" often get walked all over, but I know countless kids who were subjected to disciplinary households and regimented schedules who rebelled and became lazy stoners the instant they moved away from home.

Parenting ain't easy, I know that for sure. You can do everything right and one or all your kids will be screwups, or you can be the worst parent ever and still end up with successful, resilient kids. To a pretty large degree, though, kids come somewhat pre-programmed. Parents can influence them for the better or for the worse, but unless they are on the extreme end of abusive/permissive, their kids will turn out the way their brains are wired.
One thing I've noticed is kids have basically stopped riding bikes. And when they do they just ride around their small neighborhood.

The bike rack at my school used to be so full you might not even get a spot. Now the same racks at school aren't even half full.


When I was my kids age we used to ride around town like kings. I didn't want my parents driving me anywhere. I didn't want to see my parents unless they were forkin over 75cents to buy a bag of chips (with a sweet tattoo in the bag
It depends on where you live. A lot of neighborhoods and subdivisions are in the suburbs and there is no “town” to get to unless you consider 5 lane highways filled with restaurants and big box retail stores as town. And not many parents are going to allow their kids to ride their bikes in that amount of traffic.

If I lived in a very small town I’d probably be okay with it for my son. My wife and I recently bought a house in a nice established neighborhood and I see kids out playing and riding their bikes all the time. It’s refreshing to see. When I lived in areas closer to city centers in the past, I never saw kids out and about.
 

Davey Cakes

Member
You might call old school parents asses, but at least they kept their kids in line and arent on an inclining roller coaster ride of depression.
Except for the fact that my mother has lifelong mental health issues caused by the trauma of being raised by her asshole dad. In fact, she's on disability because of it, and she can't live on her own meaning that my brother and I have to pick up the slack to keep things afloat in the household.

This ideal of "hardcore parenting" has ripple effects that do more harm than good in the long run. People that never had to deal with bipolar, schizophrenic behaviors, or long term trauma (either first or second hand) are quite privileged.

There has to be a better way.
 

Laieon

Member
I see it front and center as a teacher. It almost seems like the kids don’t believe in anything at all. While there are certainly issues regarding public schooling and how education is taught to children, it just seems like the kids, at least the ones I currently have, really don’t see the value in a formal education. COVID most definitely had an effect, and many of my students have been upfront about how much they hated online learning, both as a teaching method and the social isolation it brought with it.

Cell phone use is rampant and one things I’ve observed is that the kids (I teach 8th grade) seem to have outgrown what it means to “be a kid”; meaning that they are already heavily and easily exposed to a lot of shit on social media: porn, violence, “influencers” who don’t contribute nothing to society, music that’s lyrically violent and sexual; it just feels like they’ve outgrown a lot of the shit they would be typically taught at their age level and it’s extremely disturbing to watch unfold in the classroom. There’s a lot of negativity behind all the bravado, laughter, disrespect, and general craziness. Oftentimes when I see or talk with them 1 in 1, they are friendly and more open about themselves and they all seem to have a lot of mental health issues.

Yep. I teach K-5 and I see the exact same thing with the younger kids.

It depends on where you live. A lot of neighborhoods and subdivisions are in the suburbs and there is no “town” to get to unless you consider 5 lane highways filled with restaurants and big box retail stores as town. And not many parents are going to allow their kids to ride their bikes in that amount of traffic.

I'm in Houston and that's 100% how it is here. Parks aren't even really a thing, it's just miles and miles of bland looking houses. As a kid I got into video games because there wasn't really any place to run off to in terms of nature, it's just neighborhoods. It's only gotten worse in the 20 years since.
 
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No one is talking about hardcore parenting. Jesus Christ, guys. My parents showed me plenty of love and affection growing up. To me, they were my role models and I'm still very close to them, to this day. (Call them often and visit them as often as I can)

I come from a third world country so the way people think about parenting seems simple, at least to me. Parenting, and all roles -- mom, dad, child -- are all well established and not full of "fancy" ideas from first world psychologists/academia.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Except for the fact that my mother has lifelong mental health issues caused by the trauma of being raised by her asshole dad. In fact, she's on disability because of it, and she can't live on her own meaning that my brother and I have to pick up the slack to keep things afloat in the household.

This ideal of "hardcore parenting" has ripple effects that do more harm than good in the long run. People that never had to deal with bipolar, schizophrenic behaviors, or long term trauma (either first or second hand) are quite privileged.

There has to be a better way.
Fair enough.

But when I say strict parents, I dont mean beatings every day or anything. My parents were strict in terms of going to school and not doing dumb shit like mouthing off to them, doing drugs or else you got kicked in the ass.

Other than those overarching tips and punishments, they didnt care I stayed up late, woke up last minute in the morning or played board games and videos games all night with my siblings. Our house was full of junk food and pop too.

Their main focus was doing well in school, go get a decent job, and move out and buy a home when you can. The rest of life they didn't really care what we did as long as we didnt get into trouble. My parents never attended one teacher/parent night either. As long as we did well getting A's and B's that's good enough.
 
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Fair enough.

But when I say strict parents, I dont mean beatings every day or anything. My parents were strict in terms of going to school and not doing dumb shit like mouthing off to them, doing drugs or else you got kicked in the ass.

Other than those overarching tips and punishments, they didnt care I stayed up late, woke up last minute in the morning or played board games and videos games all night with my siblings. Our house was full of junk food and pop too.

Their main focus was doing well in school, go get a decent job, and move out and buy a home when you can. The rest of life they didn't really care what we did as long as we didnt get into trouble.
Yup, perfectly said. It's a balance, as some people have already said in the thread.

By the way, this is a disclaimer saying that *I* am not a parent, nor am I prescribing how people should parent their kids. It's simply an observation of how I grew up, and comparing it to how I've observed kids growing up today, as it relates to the topic at hand.
 
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There's a fine line to be drawn. The "cool parents" often get walked all over, but I know countless kids who were subjected to disciplinary households and regimented schedules who rebelled and became lazy stoners the instant they moved away from home.

Parenting ain't easy, I know that for sure. You can do everything right and one or all your kids will be screwups, or you can be the worst parent ever and still end up with successful, resilient kids. To a pretty large degree, though, kids come somewhat pre-programmed. Parents can influence them for the better or for the worse, but unless they are on the extreme end of abusive/permissive, their kids will turn out the way their brains are wired.

It depends on where you live. A lot of neighborhoods and subdivisions are in the suburbs and there is no “town” to get to unless you consider 5 lane highways filled with restaurants and big box retail stores as town. And not many parents are going to allow their kids to ride their bikes in that amount of traffic.

If I lived in a very small town I’d probably be okay with it for my son. My wife and I recently bought a house in a nice established neighborhood and I see kids out playing and riding their bikes all the time. It’s refreshing to see. When I lived in areas closer to city centers in the past, I never saw kids out and about.
I think your correct in a sense that kids are wired a certain way. But I think most kids can be directed too, if parents are involved enough. You have to be willing to put your foot down the minute things start to go the wrong way.
Except for the fact that my mother has lifelong mental health issues caused by the trauma of being raised by her asshole dad. In fact, she's on disability because of it, and she can't live on her own meaning that my brother and I have to pick up the slack to keep things afloat in the household.

This ideal of "hardcore parenting" has ripple effects that do more harm than good in the long run. People that never had to deal with bipolar, schizophrenic behaviors, or long term trauma (either first or second hand) are quite privileged.

There has to be a better way.
I mean it has to be tailored to the child, right? Some kids are sensitive and respond well to a more gentle approach. Others need tighter reigns and respond better to a more consequence driven approach. It’s really all about getting to know your kids and seeing what works best. Being involved in their lives enough to know how they are doing and behaving. Then you provide support in the ways you feel like will help and adjust your methods based on how the respond.

“Strict parenting” isn’t beatings or tyranny. It’s just about taking an active role in your kids behavior. Doing your best to direct and encourage them to follow a positive direction. Nothing is 100%, but it’s better than letting the internet raise your kids.

I don’t think anyone is advising a one size fits all approach. But clearly there is a problem with accountability for behavior at school that is impacting not just the kids who don’t behave, but all the other kids in class as well. Addressing that requires input from the schools and the parents.
 
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Aesius

Member
I'm in Houston and that's 100% how it is here. Parks aren't even really a thing, it's just miles and miles of bland looking houses. As a kid I got into video games because there wasn't really any place to run off to in terms of nature, it's just neighborhoods. It's only gotten worse in the 20 years since.
I think neighborhoods are fine even if they are in the middle of suburbia, but you definitely want them to be in some kind of "natural" setting to encourage outdoor play. We got lucky because we got relatively new construction (2016) in an older, mature neighborhood that's filled with trees and has some natural elements in it like a creek and some wooded areas. The new neighborhoods where they clear cut all the trees and it's just rows of houses with tiny patches of grass are so depressing.
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
I think neighborhoods are fine even if they are in the middle of suburbia, but you definitely want them to be in some kind of "natural" setting to encourage outdoor play. We got lucky because we got relatively new construction (2016) in an older, mature neighborhood that's filled with trees and has some natural elements in it like a creek and some wooded areas. The new neighborhoods where they clear cut all the trees and it's just rows of houses with tiny patches of grass are so depressing.
Parks are a zoning issue.

If a district has zero parks that's a city decision on housing development and parks. In Toronto area, there's policies requiring mandatory amounts of green parks per area size.

Im not even someone who cares about walking in parks or riding trail paths. But IMO for sake of environment and opportunity for parks and rec, there should be parks everywhere. Even if it's one of those shitty small square parks man made to complement a new housing development, should get something there for people.
 
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Aesius

Member
Parks are a zoning issue.

If a district has zero parks that's a city decision on housing development and parks. In Toronto area, there's policies requiring mandatory amounts of green parks per area size.

Im not even someone who cares about walking in parks or riding trail paths. But IMO for sake of environment and opportunity for parks and rec, there should be parks everywhere. Even if it's one of those shitty small square parks man made to complement a new housing development, should get something there for people.
I'm not talking about parks. I'm talking about lot sizes and the overall appearances of neighborhoods/subdivisions. Toronto might as well be a different planet compared to the area I'm describing (Southeast U.S.).

That said, there are at least a few subdivisions going up where they somewhat make up for the tiny lot sizes by having a big shared green space in the middle, but they still aren't technically "parks."
 

Captiosus

Member
You have no idea, bro. In the corner back of my classroom my co-teacher colleague and I call it “Love Island” because we have kids (8th graders) making out and sitting on each other’s lap. They use the back of the class to slap-box, wrestle, chill, and dance for tik tok. Many times I feel like I’m just talking to thin air when I give a lesson. At this point I’m demoralized and tired.
My late mom was a teacher for 30 years and she lived through the pendulum shift where students were no longer being held accountable for anything and administrators would 'overrule' teacher's grades to push failing students ahead because they needed to pump up their numbers for their annual federal funding certification numbers. She watched as students were just willingly doing none of the work and still getting 'passed' ahead into the next grade because the schools wanted to look good and they didn't want to "hurt the self-esteem" of the kid who was failing.

And not to rag on teachers but there was a new crop of teachers who were coming in as she was on her way out who fully embraced the "new" methods and wanted to be their students "friends" rather than their teachers. There were also quite a few who took the job because they knew they'd have a strong union to keep them employed even if they behaved badly.

Ultimately, the self-esteem movement and the dumbing down of educational standards for No Child Left Behind funding and to illustrate 'quantitive student performance' led my mom to take early retirement. She didn't regret it or miss it after she left. She retired the year the iPhone hit the market. If it was bad then, I can't even fathom what it's like now.
 
My late mom was a teacher for 30 years and she lived through the pendulum shift where students were no longer being held accountable for anything and administrators would 'overrule' teacher's grades to push failing students ahead because they needed to pump up their numbers for their annual federal funding certification numbers. She watched as students were just willingly doing none of the work and still getting 'passed' ahead into the next grade because the schools wanted to look good and they didn't want to "hurt the self-esteem" of the kid who was failing.

And not to rag on teachers but there was a new crop of teachers who were coming in as she was on her way out who fully embraced the "new" methods and wanted to be their students "friends" rather than their teachers. There were also quite a few who took the job because they knew they'd have a strong union to keep them employed even if they behaved badly.

Ultimately, the self-esteem movement and the dumbing down of educational standards for No Child Left Behind funding and to illustrate 'quantitive student performance' led my mom to take early retirement. She didn't regret it or miss it after she left. She retired the year the iPhone hit the market. If it was bad then, I can't even fathom what it's like now.
And the kids sense it. They know the school doesn’t give a shit whether they learn a damn thing. I graduated almost 20 years ago, and it was getting worse then. But public education has gone completely off the rails now. No accountability for anybody. Not the kids. Not the teachers. Not the parents.

No one wants to hold even a little responsibility for what is going on. And the minute you try to get anyone to be responsible, you’re labelled a “problem”. It’s a broken, diseased system that is failing literally everyone associated with it.
 
I feel sorry for the youth of today. Through no fault of their own they are being overly stimulated by, and forced to conform to, social norms and ideas that exist in a virtual world. The internet is no longer a fun place to look at TnA and chat with people from all over the world; it is now a neccessary, always on, always watching, always following virtual world that robs people of fulfillment and joy.

[Want] - [Action] - [Reward] has been replaced with [Want] - [Reward]. Earning a reward without a challenge makes the reward worthless.

What's really sad, is that for all of the advancements in Psychology over the past 50 years, combined with evolution of ad+marketing trackers - which detect words and phrases for positive matches, AI bots - like those on social media and automatic helplines like on virtually every site, that we still don't have a website that can give you the answers to how you're feeling.

It wouldn't even be that hard to set up, but it hasn't been done because the cold truth is that nobody cares. We're witnessing a generational tragedy on the scale of Aids and nobody cares. No wonder the youth feel so lost.
 

Go_Ly_Dow

Member
I have a cousin who has seemingly raised very well mannered, mature and high achieving kids. I know it's not solely been about being a strict parent in her case and a lot of it has been down to engagement and involvement in their lives. The basics such as playing sports together, family outings etc... Taking them over to family houses, gatherings and ensuring they understand their culture and heritage.

She restricted their access to social media and games until they were 16 and then filled that void by helping them make the most of their education and supported their hobbies. Essentially not being a lazy parent and being involved in their lives without it becoming intrusive. She created an environment for them to understand the importance of hard work (by making them get jobs at age 16!) and being self-sufficient.

I have another cousin with younger kids who does all those things too and also makes her kids do farming work with her!

How many parents spend quality time with their kids, involve themselves in their lives and hobbies and make them switch off the tech and make them go outside of their comfort zone? I know some that don't do those things and let the YouTubers, consoles and phones raise them. They tend to have awful behavior and poor grades.

Strictness is important, but from what I can see being engaged in their lives and emphasizing action over words is crucial too.
 
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I would contend the main reason is because we have lost our purpose and belief as a society. We have denigrated our high minded goals. People of the past where oriented towards things like exploration and expansion or overcoming nature. Others devoted themselves to glorifying their Gods or improving the life of their families.

Our society has denigrated all those things. Exploration and expansion are colonialist. Religion is false and bigoted. Even having a family is seen as selfish or pointless or wrong somehow.

Now all of these things, it can be argued, are unnecessary. Maybe the arguments against them are correct, on some level. But if you removed all of the higher goals while replacing them with nothing, you end up left with nihilism. That is where we are right now. We are society that provides children with zero direction.

Worse, we undermine fundamental parts of their identity to the point where they don’t even know who they are. It used to be you could define yourself pretty easily. You could be a Jewish boy from New York. That’s a decent foundation. It says what you are, what you believe, and where you’re from. Then a person could build off that and become more.

Our society has made people feel no pride in where they are from. Now you’re a product of privilege and oppression or a victim of it. Your religion is basically just a bunch of oppressive lies meant to keep people down and keep you from enjoying yourself. Even your gender isn’t a product of anything “real” like biology. It’s just a societal construct that is really about, again, oppressively categorizing people.

We have stripped down all the things that allow a kid to form an identity and replaced it with vapid, “self love” bullshit. I think kids are so uncertain about who they are that they spend all their time looking inward to the point they drive themselves insane. Our society does a terrible job of providing kids with any direction, to the point where some parents are unwilling to even reinforce that their sons and daughters are in fact boys and girls. Kids need direction. People need direction. We have become lost and aimless.

Absolutely this.
 
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