COMPLETED GAMES 27-52
Game 27: Fez (PC) - 4:33 - COMPLETED April 19
Not bad, Phil Fish, not bad. Fez is, at its heart, a game about exploration and secrets--an arcane language that begs to be deciphered, mysterious hints of all sorts, cubes that can only be found through Konami code-esque input strings, and so on. I've technically gotten 100%, but as far as I can tell that only means I've completed the bare minimum, as I've seen people with 209.4% completion (and some possibly fake screenshots of people with a lot higher?). There are whole categories of secret areas I haven't figured out how to access--for example, what's with the apparent underwater structures?--so I'll probably jump in a few more times to see if I can unravel things. We'll see if I succeed.
Game 28: Typing of the Dead: Overkill (PC) - 3:18 - COMPLETED April 21
So the actual typing bits are pretty fun, as it turns out. Some of the trick phrases they throw in are fiendish, and in general the game reminded me that I'm actually not that great at typing without looking at the keyboard (which you kind of need to do in certain situations for maximum effectiveness). But the dialogue is some of the worst I've ever heard in a game, and I play a lot of niche Japanese RPGs. It unfortunately doesn't help that it's intentionally groundhouse-level bad, either (though some of the dialogue at the end at least shows more self-awareness than I expected from a game where "motherfucker" is every third word of the script). More worrying, though, is that the game is three hours long, and the non-typing version of this was once a full-priced Wii game. Maybe with guns it's a fuller experience. As it is, it's a fun bargain-bin PC release, as long as you don't mind the tired repetition of the word "fucking" (seriously, guys, we get it, you're sooooo adult, move on please).
Game 29 - Descent 3 (PC) - 9:20 - COMPLETED May 6
Oh, Descent 3. I wanted to like you like I did fifteen years ago, really I did. But you've aged horribly--where Descent 1 and 2 feel pretty fresh thanks to the improvements on their open-sourced code, Descent 3 is mired in the late 90s technologically speaking. Direct3D support is glitchy, and many important screens are rendered at 640x480 (the map, for example) even though I can force 1920x1200. And then there are the gameplay changes. Robots don't react to taking hits from most weapons, though the Vauss tosses them around as if they have no weight. And the levels almost never feel right--they either feel too big or too small and you always get caught on the geometry. Finally, the mission design is abysmal at times. A big step down from the first two games, especially now that almost two decades have passed.
Game 30 - Monument Valley (Android) - 1:42 - COMPLETED May 8
Short and sweet, this one. Though I think it maybe works better as a piece of interactive art than as an actual game, there's definitely enough Escher-esque geometry puzzles here to keep you amused for a while. It also feels better than what I remember of echochrome, another puzzle game with a similar mechanic that came out a few years ago. And did I mention it's gorgeous? Plenty of opportunities to use the photo mode in this game, that's for sure.
Game 31 - Starlight Inception (PC) - 6:16 - COMPLETED May 17
I feel awful saying this, because the development team (just 13 in total that I counted!) are probably very nice people. But this is not a good game. I can't bring myself to even say it's mediocre. Let me put it to you this way: I played through Hydrophobia TWICE (in original and Prophecy editions), and actually liked it despite the many issues. This? No. I can't. This game is awful in its current state, and I sincerely hope Escape Hatch can fix the problems but I'm not sure it's possible. Everything from the flight model to power management to mission design to the upgrade system to the narrative and cutscenes to the on-ship sections--everything has at least one significant problem that detracts from the experience. Do not buy this game. Play Freespace or Wing Commander or Strike Suit Zero instead.
Game 32 - Rymdkapsel (Android) - 5:09 - COMPLETED May 19
A super cool real time strategy game that focuses mainly on the base-building aspects of the genre and gussies them up in a slick, minimalist aesthetic. You build a compound with minions you control only indirectly (think Dwarf Fortress), and before long you have to defend the compound from swarms of enemies that come at ever decreasing intervals. Every game eventually ends in your death as you're overwhelmed by waves of enemies, so it's not about winning so much as surviving as long as you can. It's a game that really forces you to think about your base layout and your supply chains, which must be perfect if you're to avoid wasted time (and every second counts here). Lots of fun and makes you think, but with only one map the appeal is ultimately somewhat limited. Still, easy to recommend!
Game 33 - Type:Rider (PC) - 1:49 - COMPLETED May 20
HOPE YOU LIKE SHITTY PHYSICS AND INCREDIBLY POOR CHARACTER CONTROL IN YOUR PLATFORMERS BECAUSE THIS GAME HAS PLENTY OF THOSE THINGS. This game is a good reminder of everything I hate in platformers, and why I often steer well clear of them. The only thing this game has going for it is an appreciation for the history of typography (which is kind of the point of the game so it's like I'm praising water for being wet) and some gorgeous audio-visual treatments, especially the Helvetica and Futura levels. But as someone who once wrote a whole paper on the transition from Garamond to Didot in French typography and adores video games, I would much rather have seen those audio-visual treatments used on an informative website rather than an incredibly frustrating platformer.
Game 34 - Icarus Proudbottom's World of Typing (Web) - 1:30 - COMPLETED May 25
The best typing game I'll play all year, I'm pretty damned sure. Also: making the player type out the credits is the best way ever to make sure the player actually remembers who did what!
Game 35 - Super Time Force (360) - 6:55 - COMPLETED June 1
This is probably about as difficult a game as I am likely to finish; on at least two occasions I hit a point where I thought I'd never be able to finish the game. But eventually I'd find a way to improve my time enough (or stay alive long enough) to get past, and difficulty spikes aside, this is a Super Fun game to play. If I had one complaint (besides the difficulty spikes!), it'd be the feeling of juggling too many controls at once. The way diagonal shooting works is a big reason--I don't think the lock-aim button works that well. I think I'd prefer if the game played more like a twin-stick shooter, and you used the triggers/bumpers to jump/time-out/charge. I did like the humour and the colourful cast of characters, and every boss battle was a blast.
Game 36: Heileen 1: Sail Away (PC) - 1:26 - 100% COMPLETED June 15
Playfire Rewards got me to play this. It's not bad as visual novels go, I guess, but the romance side of things seems half baked. The developers of the game tell you straight up that you have three options for romantic partners in the game, which is actually a bit unfortunate because it would've been nice to have more options for partners. Worse, though, is that the partner you end up with only sort of feels like the product of your own choices, versus some random combination of events conspiring to give you a partner you didn't necessarily ask for. Later Heileen games apparently add more gameplay systems to the mix, so hopefully they're less trifling. An aside:
the chorus to this song has been stuck in my head ever since I saw the subtitle of this game.
Game 37: Watch Dogs (PS4) - 27:57 - COMPLETED June 16
I don't want to say this game is bad, because it's not. At its best, Watch Dogs is like an open-world Splinter Cell--sneaking around, hacking cameras, sabotaging transformers and steam pipes, knocking out fools before they ever spot you. But at its worst, Watch Dogs does its utmost to make you feel powerless--police chases you can't escape (unless you take public transit, which everyone knows is a foolproof way to lose the cops), a city environment that offers painfully few ways to protect yourself, checkpoints that reset way more of your progress than you expect, dialogue sequences you can't skip, side missions that drop you into the deep end with cement shoes. By the time I got to the final act I was ready to be done with this game ten hours ago, and then it decided to rob me of even the limited powers I once had. If it's possible to hatefuck a game, I certainly did it with Watch Dogs. And yet, I can't call it a bad game, exactly. Just one that pissed me off at the start and never quite managed to win me back.
Game 38: Tiny & Big: Grandpa's Leftovers (PC) - 2:26 - COMPLETED June 22
Another Playfire Rewards playthrough. Tiny & Big has a great soundtrack and a high degree of polish (dialogue aside--some of it is clearly written by non-native English speakers). Though it has its frustrating moments, particularly at the end when I had to switch from controller to mouse/keyboard to cut things quickly enough, it was overall a pleasant experience that manages to bring something fresh to 3D platformers.
Game 39 - Wolfenstein: The New Order (PC) - 12:43 - COMPLETED July 12
Aside from a final boss battle that tricks you a little bit (protip: just keep shooting, ignore the animation) and a host of technical issues on PC (idTech 5 sucks, especially on AMD cards), the new Wolfenstein is a leftfield success. It has a surprising empathy for its characters, even as it dumps them into a barely plausible (but always entertaining) pulp sci-fi universe of Nazi robots and inhumane genetic experiments. And though its occasional meditations on things like race relations aren't anything to write home about, it's amazing to think this is the latest iteration in a series that began with only you, a pixelated gun, and a bunch of pixelated Nazi grunts yelling "Achtung!"
Game 40 - Gunpoint (PC) - 3:13 - COMPLETED July 13
Gunpoint is really a giant puzzle game cloaked in a sometimes noir, sometimes sassy spy aesthetic. Everything about the game feels pleasing: the shattering of pane glass as you jump through a window to tackle a guard; the bzzzt! a re-wired power outlet makes as you flick a light switch to shock a guard; the thud when you pass through a security camera you've wired to a trapdoor, removing the floor from underneath a guard; a whole bunch of other things involving guards. Aside from the copious amounts of sarcasm in the writing, I also enjoyed the various categories you were graded on, including violence, noise and speed. More games could use an invitation to play things differently just by grading you on it.
Game 41 - Jelly Defense (Android) - 9:09 - COMPLETED July 13
As tower defense games go, this one is extremely polished but very flawed. In order to save all the crystals on some maps, you have to follow what feels like a very particular build, dictated by the paths of the jellies (which is not shown to you beforehand), the limited range of the workhorse towers (red cannons, for example) and what is often a very tight budget. That would be fine except for two things: one, a single screwup requires you restart the whole level, meaning you often lose five to ten minutes of progress--unconscionable for a mobile game. Two, the final level REQUIRES that you have ten perfect maps, so you'll have to go back and replay maps until you finally get them right. Then there's the fundamental flaw of a mobile game requiring gameplay sessions of twenty minutes or more, but NOT offering an auto-save or suspend save function. Jelly Defense is an early Android game, and it shows.
Game 42 - Tales of Xillia (PS3) - 42:45 - COMPLETED July 20
Xillia starts off very well, with a cast of playable characters almost uniformly likeable (offset by a few really obvious freaks as side characters for no apparent reason). The storytelling really takes a dive near the end, so the final package isn't as compelling as its first hours. Also, if you don't take advantage of the ability to switch your main character, combat gets fairly repetitive pretty quickly--unlike Graces f or Vesperia, you gain access to pretty much all of your significant combat abilities very early on, and from then on it's a matter of pushing that basic system to its limits. All in all it's a decent Tales game, though with obvious rough edges. Hopefully the sequel will clean things up.
Game 43 - Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light (PC) - 6:56 - COMPLETED July 20
A cracking good time for the most part, despite some segments I really disliked (basically any escape-the-fire-or-spikes gauntlet sequences). The puzzle stuff was fun, and the challenge rooms were nice breathers from the action (though many of them didn't actually require you to think that hard). Giving you multiple optional objectives was a nice touch too, though the idea of replaying levels to get all the objectives was much more appealing when I started the game than it is now.
Game 44 - Atelier Rorona Plus: The Alchemist of Arland (PS3) - 26:46 - COMPLETED July 27, 100% COMPLETED August 14
Atelier Rorona was my first Atelier game, and I wasn't great at it. I think I at least managed to avoid the bad ending, but I certainly don't recall thinking about trying to get any of the game's special endings, let alone all of them. Five games later, and I'm back at the scene of the crime, except someone's fixed all the holes in the walls and put a fresh coat of paint over everything. The many changes don't alter the game's fundamental character, for good and ill--it means the game still feels a little long in the tooth compared to its successors, but it still retains the charm of the original while offering concessions here and there to how the more modern games play. The best example: you can now pick which of the unlocked endings you want to see, which is what I'll be doing next. And then, it's time for overtime!
Game 45 - Duke Nukem Forever (PC) - 7:45 - COMPLETED August 3
When I was in high school, I gave the Michael Bay epic Pearl Harbour so much shit. Here was a movie full of blowing shit up and people shooting things and yelling at whatever, and it all looked incredibly stupid to someone who'd watched plenty of decent war movies that weren't just mindless spectacles of explosions. But it occurred to me that in order to truly criticize it, I'd eventually have to go see it, and I wasn't ready to go that far. If only the person who deemed watching Pearl Harbour a line that shall not be crossed had convinced the me of today not to play Duke Nukem Forever.
Game 46 - Metrico (Vita) - 2:32 - COMPLETED August 15
Charts and graphs are supposed to illuminate hidden truths and make complex data easy to intuit. Metrico is a puzzle platformer that drapes itself in the aesthetic of charts and graphs, but to opposite effect: its later levels frustrate intuition and reward brute force data gathering through trial and error instead. Solving puzzles isn't a matter of recognizing patterns, because there are no patterns--no way to tell if a certain platform moves by twisting the Vita or pointing it at a light source or killing yourself by getting crushed by another platform, except to try everything and see what works over and over again. I was once intrigued by the game's premise and aesthetic, but now I'm glad I got this for free through PS+.
Game 47 - Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare (MULTIPLAYER) (PC) - 10:01 - COMPLETED August 19
It turns out ten hours is just enough time to go through all the stages I normally encounter when playing a good multiplayer game: the joy of discovery, the euphoria of the initial unlocks and realizing you can actually shoot people and not die, the confidence of your first few hours, and finally the deep, unyielding disappointment when you inevitably encounter a day when you lose every single game and you now expect more from yourself and your teams than you did at the start. So thanks, EA, for the three-day trial. Your game is pretty sweet, but I feel like from here on in only pain, suffering and self-hatred awaits me.
Game 48 - Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons (PC) - 3:06 - COMPLETED August 24
Not bad. The control scheme's a little hard to get used to, but the story's pretty good, if somewhat predictable. I wouldn't say it affected me the way it seems to have affected a lot of other people, though.
Game 49 - Car Mechanic Simulator 2014 (PC) - 11:03 - COMPLETED September 1
Pretty much the only qualms I have with this game are that a) the camera and part selection controls are a little finicky, and b) the way the game increases the challenge is mostly through asking you to replace parts that are harder to get at and require you to pull apart more of the car. Other than that, I'm surprised at how good this simulator is. Definitely not sim-bundle garbage, that's for sure! I look forward to the sequel; hopefully they'll be able to push the mechanics (no pun intended) further next time.
Game 50 - Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS) - 12:20 - COMPLETED September 4
I've never played a Professor Layton game before, so I was surprised at just how easy the game was to pick up and play for short bursts. I've played a few really great handheld games before, but few seem as suitable for short commutes and stolen moments as Curious Village. The puzzles occasionally feel a bit unfair (riddles in particular sometimes feel like you were tricked by unclear wording) and the ending, while touching, also feels a bit off. But generally, it's a really likeable game. Now I guess I have to go track down all the others before I play Professor Layton vs. Ace Attorney, which arrived a few days ago.
Game 51 - DanganRonpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (Vita) - 21:11 - COMPLETED September 12
The most significant flaw with DanganRonpa is that, for a murder mystery game, it's rather linear--that is, it walks you through each of its cases and doesn't let you miss a single piece of information. It's great in the sense that you don't have to pixel hunt for clues like an old-school adventure game, but it does take the wind out of your sails a bit when you realize there's no way to overlook or miss anything. Once the story gets its hooks into you, though, it's hard not to burn through an entire chapter or two in one go. Definitely looking forward to seeing when the sequel holds.
Game 52 - Destiny (PS4) - 17:55 - COMPLETED September 18
I'm still not sure about how much I like this game. Its missions are repetitive, the story is awful, and there aren't very many planets in the game. But on the other hand, the gunplay is surprisingly satisfying, and I really like the way Destiny blends single-player campaign, co-op raids and traditional competitive multiplayer so that each feels like a component of a greater whole, rather than the strict separation of concerns that reached its zenith in Call of Duty games (which literally launched a different client for multiplayer). Ultimately I think what Destiny lacks is compelling single-player content, even taking into account the fact that it's basically first-person Diablo with guns. But it's a really solid foundation to build on; I just hope Bungie fleshes it out in the weeks and months to come.
GRAVEYARD
Rogue Legacy (PC) - 8:02 - Will probably come back to this, but I don't really expect to finish the game at this rate.
Ibb and Obb (PS3) - 0:13 - Maybe later.
Monaco (PC) - 2:08 - I don't seem to be enjoying this enough to realistically keep it on my plate. This might be a good candidate for a revival in a few months, though, especially since it's supposed to be a pretty short game.
The Last Remnant (PC) - 8:45 - Decent game that fell off my radar somehow. I'll pick this back up when things quiet down a bit.
Puzzle Quest (PC) - 0:43 - Not clicking with me so much, but this seems like the kind of game you can play in small doses anyways so I'll probably come back to this.
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II: Chaos Rising (PC) - 1:46 - Three failures in a row on the second mission (two game overs, one crash) sapped my desire. Maybe later.
99 Spirits (PC) - 0:55 (4 hours played in 2013) - Again, probably a game I'll tackle in small chunks. It's very repetitive, which doesn't do it any favours.
Strike Vector (MULTIPLAYER) (PC) - 1:30 - In the running for biggest gaming mistake I've made this year, though I feel like I should give it a few more chances before writing it off.
Loadout (MULTIPLAYER) (PC) - 0:53 - Fun, but I'm not sure I really plan to play this on a regular basis.
Valkyria Chronicles 3 (PSP) - 22:45 (1 hour played in 2013) - On hold.
Oozi: Earth Adventure (PC) - 0:28 - On hold.
Final Fantasy XIII-2 (PS3) - 16:33 - On hold for a less JRPG-heavy period.
Zone of the Enders 2 (PS3) - 2:21 - I got to Vic Viper, died once, then stupidly quit the game instead of trying to return to the boss fight and saving. Now I'm back at Deimos and I've lost the will to play any further.
Bravely Default (3DS) - 39:49 - I assume I'll come back to this, but every time I think about playing more I somehow can't bring myself to do it, even though I've mostly enjoyed it.
Pressure (PC) - 0:56 - Very clearly a sometimes game. Will come back.
Oni (PC) - 1:44 - Might just be too old for me to play again. Oh god, the checkpoints.
Papers, Please (PC) - 1:13 - I feel really bad about this one because it's good, but it also makes me feel real bad about myself. I've already managed to let two people get murdered.
Banjo & Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (360) - 1:17 - Uhhh... maybe later. The driving is exhausting and that's kind of the whole game, so...
Final Fantasy Type-0 (PSP/Vita) - 0:32 - On hold while this whole Type-0 HD stuff percolates a bit. If it's coming soon, might be better to play that instead.
Brutal Legend (PC) - 2:37 - Every time I think about returning to this, I remember how that first RTS battle went and shudder.
Deception IV: Blood Ties (Vita) - 2:00 - I will one day get back to this, potentially soon, but for now...
Batman: Arkham City (PC) - 4:26 - Third time's the charm, maybe? I'm far enough into the game that it's probably worth chipping away at this, but I feel no urgent desire to keep playing.
Counterspy (PS4) - 2:20 - What exactly are you supposed to do when one side's at DEFCON 1? Who knows?