I always felt like girls cheating on a guy, is some margin worse. I couldn't really articulate it though, and maybe it's not being able to remove myself from my POV. But fuck it, with some occurrences recently with a friend of mine and his wife, it's been on my mind enough to make a list of reason why. Then someone else can come up here to clarify why I'm wrong. It has to be better than just a straight equality for equality's sake argument though.
I figured bulletpoints would be easiest, because I'm not translating this text edit into paragraphs. Just general thoughts. Warning: it's upsetting to even think about.
Girls cheating:
- The conquer factor. A girl cheating on her guy, is a girl being "conquered" by another guy. That shit's upsetting, some guy coming in and "conquering" the girl to the extent of his satisfaction.
- The GF holds the other guy on a pedestal. Girls generally aren't cheating for physical reasons, he's providing in a way her bf is not. He's celebrated afterward, if he was a good lover. Vice versa, a guy cheating is an physical endpoint and she's fairly discardable 10 minutes after. Less hurtful. Where as a girl is often a dependent when cheating, a guy is acting as an independent. More shame and hurt in being dependent on the cheater.
- The other guy is leading. He's making demands, crossing boundaries (maybe new boundaries) and the GF is inviting him in every step of the way. He's changing and challenging her every step of the way. Generally vice versa, it's no mystery the bf always wants to go farther, so again, not as shocking/hurtful if he did something with some other girl, they tend to lead.
- GF is comparing who she cheats with, directly to her bf. Being that women cheat for reasons often more than physical allure, it seems more pre-meditated. It's not just "lust" a lot of the time but a comparison of what each option provides them.
- The dick thing. It's an invasion of a dick into the girl, and possibly a more satisfying dick. You don't have to be in a relationship, any girl saying something about a guy's dick is potential ego deflation or elation. Also, a dick on the shoulder or face is not tempting them with pleasures, it's defiling compared to a vagina.
- Cheapening gf to a vessel for a guy getting his nut off. Most guys hold their gf up higher than to the whims of a incessantly horny guy, just looking to get his. Upsetting that his semen ends anywhere near her. Even worse if she's handling it in any way.
- Recovering from a gf desiring another guy's semen is pretty impossible. Personality wise, the relationship's fractured, sexually totally fractured. Guys require less from the emotional side of a relationship, so they can't provide him that. Financial is a non-factor. Plus a girl's not going to support a guy she's cheating on, as often as a guy will continue to support his gf while cheating. As a relationship, more grounds for a relationship are severed, less options remain afterward. GF is transformed sexually by cheating more than bf cheating would be.
- Gf seems more likely to justify her actions through "what she needs". They're better trained as a victim, even when conniving. I find that slightly worse, than the dismissive guy. Lack of accountability is one of the worst things on both sides though.
- Money, power, anything emotional factors. Unlikely to see guys cheating for these reasons as much. These are instant ego blows, as the bf is aware of not measuring up.
Guy Cheating:
- BF is more independent in his cheating.
- Lust factor. Guys are namely driven by lust. There's biology there to back up the lust. It's awful, but predictable when guys don't control it. The temptation of fruits sort of thing is a more easily understood concept. Like indulging in foods you shouldn't or something.
- Guy is pedestaled, his ego fed through sex. Maybe more dependent on it than women, who are complimented in daily life by other women, by men as "pretty". People want to take care of them, open doors. For a guy, gestures are rare and sex is the is that validation, almost exclusive as validation. It's why even men of power aren't satisfied, it's not obvious, until he's "rewarded" through sex.
- Guy as adventurer. For someone as visually driven as guys, seems natural that they would be intrigued by different shapes, sizes, looks. Especially as a conquering thing. Understandable, logical things fuel a guys cheating more so. If we can understand it, it's easier to accept.
- After a bf cheats, his view of his gf isn't affected hugely. She's still holds the same qualities, and he may even think of her in a heightened sense. A girl would think of her bf as "less" meanwhile after cheating on him. Less aware, less able to satisfy, less as a provider. Even when she's the problem, the bf would still be getting attacked in some level of conscious, his value lowered. There's no room for him as a victim, and if he was, society would look down on him for being it.
- Guy gets closer and closer to temptation when a girl is responsive to his actions. Very sequential, agressor mentality. Him fucking the girl is an awful, but obvious endpoint. A girl as a gesture is inviting in, letting down guards down. As a gesture, the vagina just seems more sacred than a penis. So opening legs, letting someone inside just seems worse as a gesture than putting a dick in something, which guys have been doing since they were 3. Certainly my least supported thought.
I figured bulletpoints would be easiest, because I'm not translating this text edit into paragraphs. Just general thoughts. Warning: it's upsetting to even think about.
Girls cheating:
- The conquer factor. A girl cheating on her guy, is a girl being "conquered" by another guy. That shit's upsetting, some guy coming in and "conquering" the girl to the extent of his satisfaction.
- The GF holds the other guy on a pedestal. Girls generally aren't cheating for physical reasons, he's providing in a way her bf is not. He's celebrated afterward, if he was a good lover. Vice versa, a guy cheating is an physical endpoint and she's fairly discardable 10 minutes after. Less hurtful. Where as a girl is often a dependent when cheating, a guy is acting as an independent. More shame and hurt in being dependent on the cheater.
- The other guy is leading. He's making demands, crossing boundaries (maybe new boundaries) and the GF is inviting him in every step of the way. He's changing and challenging her every step of the way. Generally vice versa, it's no mystery the bf always wants to go farther, so again, not as shocking/hurtful if he did something with some other girl, they tend to lead.
- GF is comparing who she cheats with, directly to her bf. Being that women cheat for reasons often more than physical allure, it seems more pre-meditated. It's not just "lust" a lot of the time but a comparison of what each option provides them.
- The dick thing. It's an invasion of a dick into the girl, and possibly a more satisfying dick. You don't have to be in a relationship, any girl saying something about a guy's dick is potential ego deflation or elation. Also, a dick on the shoulder or face is not tempting them with pleasures, it's defiling compared to a vagina.
- Cheapening gf to a vessel for a guy getting his nut off. Most guys hold their gf up higher than to the whims of a incessantly horny guy, just looking to get his. Upsetting that his semen ends anywhere near her. Even worse if she's handling it in any way.
- Recovering from a gf desiring another guy's semen is pretty impossible. Personality wise, the relationship's fractured, sexually totally fractured. Guys require less from the emotional side of a relationship, so they can't provide him that. Financial is a non-factor. Plus a girl's not going to support a guy she's cheating on, as often as a guy will continue to support his gf while cheating. As a relationship, more grounds for a relationship are severed, less options remain afterward. GF is transformed sexually by cheating more than bf cheating would be.
- Gf seems more likely to justify her actions through "what she needs". They're better trained as a victim, even when conniving. I find that slightly worse, than the dismissive guy. Lack of accountability is one of the worst things on both sides though.
- Money, power, anything emotional factors. Unlikely to see guys cheating for these reasons as much. These are instant ego blows, as the bf is aware of not measuring up.
Guy Cheating:
- BF is more independent in his cheating.
- Lust factor. Guys are namely driven by lust. There's biology there to back up the lust. It's awful, but predictable when guys don't control it. The temptation of fruits sort of thing is a more easily understood concept. Like indulging in foods you shouldn't or something.
- Guy is pedestaled, his ego fed through sex. Maybe more dependent on it than women, who are complimented in daily life by other women, by men as "pretty". People want to take care of them, open doors. For a guy, gestures are rare and sex is the is that validation, almost exclusive as validation. It's why even men of power aren't satisfied, it's not obvious, until he's "rewarded" through sex.
- Guy as adventurer. For someone as visually driven as guys, seems natural that they would be intrigued by different shapes, sizes, looks. Especially as a conquering thing. Understandable, logical things fuel a guys cheating more so. If we can understand it, it's easier to accept.
- After a bf cheats, his view of his gf isn't affected hugely. She's still holds the same qualities, and he may even think of her in a heightened sense. A girl would think of her bf as "less" meanwhile after cheating on him. Less aware, less able to satisfy, less as a provider. Even when she's the problem, the bf would still be getting attacked in some level of conscious, his value lowered. There's no room for him as a victim, and if he was, society would look down on him for being it.
- Guy gets closer and closer to temptation when a girl is responsive to his actions. Very sequential, agressor mentality. Him fucking the girl is an awful, but obvious endpoint. A girl as a gesture is inviting in, letting down guards down. As a gesture, the vagina just seems more sacred than a penis. So opening legs, letting someone inside just seems worse as a gesture than putting a dick in something, which guys have been doing since they were 3. Certainly my least supported thought.
