A lady is going to see my Little Captain

[Captain Zyrain]

To clarify, it's a lady doctor, but I've never met her before. My normal doctor isn't available so I'm getting in to see whoever is open.

I've never been with a lady doctor that way before. What do you do? I mean I already kind of.. I don't know.. Gently manscaped, just a little so it doesn't look like I went overboard or anything, but didn't want a wild forest or anything.

It's probably going to be cold too.. Is that an issue? Should it be? She's a professional I'm sure. I imagine it would be inappropriate to.. You know.. Try to rectify the cold shrinkage issue.

Ahh first time for everything I guess.

 

[Sai-kun]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

 

[Fury451]

Holy shit it's just a doctor visit she's not going to give a fuck, why does it sound like you're getting ready to take her out?

 

[Aselith]

Make sure you wack off before you go

 

[GraveRobberX]

Umm, if it's medical it's OK

Your making it sound like she gonna burst out laughing and take Snapchat of your dong to make you feel "lesser"

Just get it checked, stop worrying


I highly doubt it's gonna even register on her day, she will just move along while your trying to seed and gas your insecurities

 

[louiedog]

I thought this was going to be a "just think about baseball" advice thread but it's weirder.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

what do you expect will happen?

"Oooooooooooooh sir looks like I'm going to have to give you a THOROUGH examination"

and like a funky bass starts playing?

Just stand still, do as she says, and answer questions. It'll be done before you know it.

 

[GasProblem]

Lol. She's seen hundreds of dick probably. There will be nothing sexual about it OP. She'll look at it, talk about your issues, and you say goodbye.

 

[brianmcdoogle]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

Yup.

 

[5taquitos]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

This should be GAF's new tag line instead of "Believe!"

 

[McDougles]

Once you see women as people, your whole world is going to change.

Most civilized people call lady doctors "doctors."

 

[criesofthepast]

My ex is a doctor. She would come home and tell me about every shriveled tiny penis she encountered throughout her days and we would both laugh at those weak ass moist dudes while I banged her with my 10 incher.

Goodluck bro.

 

[ZOONAMI]

She doesn't give a fuck what your prick looks like you prick.

Thread is sexist as fuck.

 

[johnsmith]

Try not to get an erection

 

[akira28]

lady doctors are literally bored to tears staring at penises all day. you should surprise your lady doctor with a clown nose.

 

[fallengorn]

Make sure you show her your neogaf profile first so she knows what to expect.

 

[LewieP]

Drink lots of soda before the appointment then start peeing all over the place after you whip it out.

Then after she cleans it up, tell her "I want to do a sex", then do a sex.

 

[Mohonky]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

Its a big world, lots of social awkward people oit there.

OP its customary to make sure its in the stand and salute position so she can more readily see whats going on.

 

[Slick Butter]

This should be GAF's new tag line instead of "Believe!"

NeoGAF
Just Be Normal

 

[Plywood]

She's seen many before yours and will see many after. You will not be remembered.

 

[Admiral Woofington]

My ex is a doctor. She would come home and tell me about every shriveled tiny penis she encountered throughout her days and we would both laugh at those weak ass moist dudes while I banged her with my 10 incher.

Goodluck bro.

just when I thought this thread couldn't get better, here comes big dick gaf.

 

[Reverend Funk]

She probably sees 100 dicks a day so she likely will not remember yours

 

[CosmicGroinPull]

She's going to be professional, but I still wouldn't want to be in OP's situation.

 

[nullset2]

brothafucka just whip it out mechanically, she's not there for the sexual dick. you're routine work to her. mindless paperwork. chill the fuck out bro...seidon

 

[jackal27]

It's just another day at the office for her. Chill and don't make it weird.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

lmao

 

[Pastry]

Is this the first woman that's seen your dick, why are you asking these questions

 

[zethren]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

Best, and most thoroughly applicable, first post in NeoGAF history.

 

[Aselith]

lady doctors are literally bored to tears staring at penises all day. you should surprise your lady doctor with a clown nose.

Yeah, this is called peacocking. Also BE SURE to sneak in a neg when you get in there.

 

[Jombie]

I guarantee that she won't give two shits about your prick.

 

[android]

make sure you find a tiny fedora to put on it to match the one on your head.

 

[snickothemule]

shave everything but the balls op

 

[hipbabboom]

Make sure you wack off before you go

Don't do this. She'll see your ejaculate post-dribble and judge you. There's probably a doctors forum where they talk shit about patients like you and share secretly taken photos.

 

[Tagyhag]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

Lmfao

I understand that naturally GAF is going to attract a lot of socially awkward people, but damn OP, it's not rocket science.

What are you expecting to do? Whack her in the face with it?

She's a professional, let her do what she has to do.

 

[aparisi2274]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

best comment!

 

[Takamura-San]

I can't believe people like the OP exists.. this has to be a bad joke.

 

[PSYGN]

Lol, what is this porn?

 

[Media]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

.

Life is not porn people. It's a doctor's appointment. Unless it's literally rotting off she's not going to so much as raise a brow. She's not going to fuck you either.

 

[chrisPjelly]

lady doctors are literally bored to tears staring at penises all day. you should surprise your lady doctor with a clown nose.

Better yet, get a permanent marker and etch the Mona Lisa on your tip and use the urethra as the base of her mouth

 

[Lulubop]

She won't forget that baby dick OP

 

[Siegcram]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

close it up

 

[Gleethor]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

It's 1:30 AM here and I'm taking a shit and absolutely losing it on the toilet.

 

[Toa TAK]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

Bless you.

 

[theWB27]

These threads yo....geez

 

[xxracerxx]

This is truly sad if it is a real worry.

 

[Spoiled Milk]

I know a trick to hide your captain:
say goodbye to your horse.

 

[Two Words]

The only thing I'd worry about is having a boner. So jerk off a couple times before going , I guess.

 

[Soulflarz]

why cant any of you fuckers just be normal people

This is the best first post I've seen in ages.

 

[GraveRobberX]

She's going to be professional, but I still wouldn't want to be in OP's situation.

So say something is right down there

A rash, bump, itch... are you really going to feel worse that a doctor of the opposite sex checked out your junk?

Shit when I had Spinal Stenosis of the Thoracic Spine, and involuntary pee and pooped
Nurses assisted in cleanup, hell I had doctors shove up their fingers to test out if things were working properly

Male and female doctors

First time a little embarrassed but my head nurse is like, we've seen so many and done cleanup on so many worse things, your more normal than others
That made me feel so much better and all my exams afterwards I never felt shame, cause those doctors assisted me of getting back to at least a healthy state of being abled and mobile

 

[Fox Mulder]

Make sure to ask her if you can see hers since she saw yours.