Alright so I read through the ENTIRE review so I could boil it down to the main arguments for you guys.
I'm sure cutting out all his filler will annoy Tim Rogers to no end, but it's the internet, no, the real world, and nothing anyone writes is important enough to be longer than a page. Despite the 2.5 score and some of the conclusions of this review, there actually is quite a few good points and some good writing in here. It's just.... too.... long...
Ok HERE WE GOOOOO!!
First the few positives.
He doesn't actually write very much about what he liked in the game.
+ 2D sections are the best, remarks how this is ironic and sad.
+ Manta Ray and Mario on a Ball are some of the best parts of the game.
Now the negatives that I think are actually pretty reasonable points.
- Game is very linear. Disappointing considering earlier demo made it seem it wouldn't be like this.
- Difficulty same from beginning to end instead of ramping up like previous Mario games. He mentions that this isn't the wii's fault, Nintendo has been moving in this direction since Super Mario World (hard worlds hidden).
- What ever happened to Super Mario? Why is there no item that makes me massively more powerful?
Now the negatives that I don't think are reasonable points at all.
- Complains about how penguins tell you how to swim. Dumbing down etc..
Dude there is like no tutorial in this game...
- Random Filler crap between levels is lengthly and pointless.
He goes on about this A LOT. He seems to hate presentation? This is such a petty point really.
-Story is filler? If Nintendo didn't care to make good cutscenes and voice cting, why put the story in?
- Rosalina has no function in the story. Princess Rosalina feels simultaneously underused and tacked-on.
-Hates the spin attack for some reason, would rather have mario punch and kick.
Is this
really that big of a complaint Tim?
- Seems to dislike pits of death, but not just the pit but the slowness and inevitability of the action.
In the pyramid world, theres a similar part where you have to keep jumping into tornadoes, sending Mario spinning through the air very, very, very, very, very slowly. Line him up with the platform and do a hip drop to land or else, if you miss the mark, just float helplessly until youre dead, or else do a hip drop to give up already. I dont like any game especially Mario having just give up already situations.
- Doesn't like the powerups but no real justification. Arbitrarily decides that Bee Mario is worse than Racoon Mario.
A lot of the complaints are really silly and petty, but there is actually some fun writing in there. In a WILD tangent about Rosalina he writes:
Why, then, must Princess Rosalina tell us, The Grand Star has powered up the core, restoring energy to The Kitchen! Why tell us that the room were about to go check out is a kitchen? For gods sake, let us figure it out for ourselves; Grandpas Pacemaker isnt going to explode because Holy shit no one told me it was gonna be a kitchen!!
Overall there is a small handful of reasonable complaints, a large number of stupid complaints, and a huge amount of random tangents.
The main problem with this review is whereas it seems like everyone else reviewed Super Mario Galaxy for the game that it is, Tim Rogers is comparing the game against some made up, awesomer Mario game that he's invented in his head.
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