Alliteration writing contest

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Feb 18, 2013
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#1
In this thread, try to make the longest and most sophisticated alliteration you can. It prefeferably should be a story but you can get creative and do baking instructions or whatever.

Rules:
-It has to make sense
-Only words you can use that aren't part of the alliteration are words like "an" "the" "to" "is" and "but"

Deadline:
-the deadline is December 10th, after that people will vote for their favorite entries. If there aren't many entries by then it will be extened.

Here's my asinine attempt:

Peter picked a piping pizza's pepperoni and placed it in his piehole, perhaps the most pristine pepperoni peter had ever purchased. But then Peters pet pomeranian pooch pounched on his pizza and the pizza plummeted to the pavement. Peter panned his pomeranian pooch for pulverizing his pizza, but then Peggy, Peter's pretty partner, purchased Peter some pasta.
 
Jun 1, 2011
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#2
Not in for the long run, really, but here's a short one that just came up to my mind.

The tardy torosaurus triumvirate directed the pterodactyl patrol to dethrone the triceratops tyrant tonight, truly thinking that time can transform even that terrible treason into transcendent triumph to their tribe.
 

Mario

Sidhe / PikPok
Jul 15, 2005
8,906
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Wellington, NZ
www.pikpok.com
#3
In this thread, try to make the longest and most sophisticated alliteration you can. It prefeferably should be a story but you can get creative and do baking instructions or whatever.

Rules:
-It has to make sense
-Only words you can use that aren't part of the alliteration are words like "an" "the" "to" "is" and "but"
You should probably create a rule which doesn't allow people to use the same words over and over again like this guy

Peter picked a piping pizza's pepperoni and placed it in his piehole, perhaps the most pristine pepperoni peter had ever purchased. But then Peters pet pomeranian pooch pounched on his pizza and the pizza plummeted to the pavement. Peter panned his pomeranian pooch for pulverizing his pizza, but then Peggy, Peter's pretty partner, purchased Peter some pasta.
 
Jan 20, 2013
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#5
This thread ... this is terrible. These torpid tests, they're tacitly tenuous. They teach 'Thesaurus thinking' tripe. They're tawdry tendencies.

Today taciturn, taut, terse text is transcendent. Tonight, thankfully, this transient, tedious tomfoolery triggers torpor.

Woah, I'm done. This made my head hurt.
 
Sep 10, 2012
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#9
Any ambitious alliterative author allegedly aiming at acquiring artistic accolade awards almost always achieves actual aureate acclamation, as analytical almanacs advantageously approve, and annual anthologies automatically accept auspicious applicants' accomplishments, avidly acknowledging all axiomatic ability, albeit advisedly, abrogating artificially abstract abbreviations affecting alternative attributes.

Sorry, I stole this one.
 
Dec 18, 2011
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LA
twitter.com
#10
fuck the founding fathers that fought for fake freedoms, forgetting to form the fourteenth for four score and fifteen. fuck the festivities four months from february the fourth. it's twenty-fourteen but feels like fourteen-twenty. try forsee the far-west fathoming Farsi and force the far-right to feel the fucking functions of Franklin's forward feet in the first-term.

it's futile to forgive the fools in Ferguson, shithead.
 
Jan 16, 2007
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#13
There's a great amateur text adventure named Ad Verbum, with lots of wordplay puzzles, and one that was really well-regarded were the alliteration rooms. Quite simple; four rooms, one to the north, one to the east, one to the south, one to the west. And when you enter them... well, let's look at the one to the north:

Code:
Neat Nursery
Nice, nondescript nursery, noticeably neat. Normally, nurslings nestle noisily. Now, none. No needful, naive newborns.

Nearby: ... nifty nappy.
And to the east:

Code:
Ebony Eatery
Eating enclave. Entire environment ebon. Each edge embossed elegantly, every entity essentially effaced. Effect: eerie.

Empty, except: ... evil effigy... earthen ewer.
Okay so far? Now, this is a text adventure. So you communicate by inputting textual instructions...

And in these rooms, the parser will only accept alliteration of the given letter.

Not just that, all responses are *also* changed in the room to use the appropriate alliteration:

Code:
> examine effigy
Enemy effigy. Extreme enormity evident. Execrable evildoer!

> examine ewer
Estimable ewer, even, edgeless. Ewer's empty.

> engulf effigy
Eh? Edict enciphered, evidently ...

> extract ewer
Expropriated.
You have to collect an item and leave. Which, given the exit from the Nursery is to the south, and that from the Eatery is to the west gives you an extra problem to solve, as well.


It goes further. The game was well-recieved enough that it recieved an award in 2000 for best puzzles in the medium. And an award ceremony was held on IFMud, the place where IF writers congregate. And Nick Montfort had a pre-prepared acceptance speech:

Nick Montfort said:
Ahem, awesome! Author accepts an appealing award affably.

As author's actions affirm, alphabetical arrangements always amused author. Assembling assorted arbitrary ASCII, ad absurdo, as adventure and acquisition, appeared attractive.

And accordingly, author attacked adventure, abandoning ars amatoria, abandoning athletic activity, appearing agonizingly antisocial. After arduous attempts and assays, author actualized adventure.

Accolade and adventurer appreciation authentically affects author.

Acknowledgement appears appropriate: author appreciates all assistance and aid, awfully. An acolyte ("alone," as acolyte's appellation asserts) accoutered abundant authentication aid, assuredly above average.

Author asserts again: acclaim's absolutely appreciated. Adieu!
And after seeing that, I had to come to the conclusion that I just couldn't compete with a wordsmith of that talent.

So, succinctly: Such superb stylings, skills, stunned self. Story submission? Silence.
 
Mar 1, 2012
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#15
All accounts Ari accepted as accurate abide articulation of alien artifacts as argument for an actuality of astute animals of ancestry arisen abroad of the anthropoid apple.
 
Apr 16, 2011
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#16
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH, AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHH, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHH, AH, AH, AAAAAHHHHHH, AH, AHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAAaaaahhh...
 
Dec 1, 2009
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#17
Mudkips is banned (not for this alliteration) so he can't enter but he had a really funny one from a year ago.

NSFW warning.

Stet suddenly saw something slightly suggestive. Subsequently, Stet started slowly, sensually stroking. Stet's steely, saluting shaft spasmed. Stet silently shuddered, Stet's schlong simultaneously surrendering satisfied, sputtered semen squirts. Sticky sperm sullied Stet's softened snake so Stet swiftly showered.


"Surprise Stet!", Stet's step sister Samantha shouted. "Sam!" Stet seemed startled. Samantha, sixteen, stood sheepishly staring. Slowly, Sam stripped. Stet's slick sausage started standing. Stark Samantha straddled Stet. Slutty Sam's sopped slit surrounded Stet's statuesque spire.

"S-stop..." Stet stammered. "Ssssshhh..." Sam shushed Stet. She subsumed Stet. Slipping, sliding sloppily. Swift service seemed Sam's specialty. "Sam..." Sam saw Stet straining. She stopped. Sam started sucking Stet slowly, slightly. She squeezed Stet's scrotum. Shocked Stet screamed, shooting salty sludge. Sam slurped, siphoning Stet's seed.

"Surprise!", she squeaked.


Stet's slender sidekick Steve secretly surveyed Sam. Sam spurned Steve's solitication, so Steve surreptitiously spied Samantha's salacious style. Sullen Steve seethed spitefully seeing Stet's sublime satisfaction. Stet's situation slighted Steve, so Steve strategized.

Steve saw Sam shan't submit since Stet served so satisfactorily. Since Steve sought Sam so severely, Steve schemed Stet's slaughter "...so Sam shall surely succumb," Steve surmised.


Six. Sunrise. Steve snuck silently, silver stiletto shimmering. Steve scanned Stet's second story. Stet slept soundly. Steve scurried sans shoes, socks softly stepping. Steve slowly surmounted Stet's staircase. Silence, spare Set's steady snore. Shutters shut securely. Steve's screwed should someone see. Steve slices! Stabs! Stet shouts, stands. Steve swiftly severs Stet's shrill scream. Stet stumbles, sags. Stet slumps. "So simple...", says Steve.

"Stabbing. Seven Six Seven Sycamore." Sergent Smith's scanner squealed. "Sure, Smith?" "Sure, Sharon." Smith speeds south, siren shrieking. Smith sighs. "Stay safe, son."
 
Feb 8, 2014
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Irelandland.
#19
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Feb 17, 2014
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#20
The Faeries' Festival

Foraging for fruits, far from fallow fields, Ffion found the Faeries of Ferndale. Flautists frolicked and fair folk feasted on fine food - fresh figs, fish and fowl.

"Fool!" Ffion faced Fioled, fiercest of Faeries. Ffion flinched as Fioled flew forth, furious and feral. Foetid fog formed and Ffion's feet froze. Fixed fast and feeling faint, Ffion fought futilely to flee. Finally, fatigued and fraught with frost, frail Ffion fell.

Fellow foragers, fear Ffion's fate. Forego the frozen forest and forsake the Ferndale Faeries.

Fin.
 
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