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Alright boys (and girls?), Month together with the GF coming up, tips and advice?

Hey everyone, I'm moving cities way across country in late December/early January and the lady friend is helping me. We drafted up a plan we're excited about to fly her out to me like Dec 28th and have New Years in the city I'm in now, and then do the cross country road trip, and then hang out in my new city I'm living in and then go back to where she is a few hours away from my new city, and just basically have a little move in trial run until I start my job and head back down to my new town at the end of January.

Now I'm super hyped about this and she is too, we have a great relationship but then it hit me like, well fuck... Thats a lot of time together. I feel like maybe we'd run out of shit to talk about. But then I'm like wait no no no millions of couples move in together permentaly and are married like 10, 20, 30 goddamn 40 years and beyond so maybe I'm missing something? We've done some preliminary discussions about moving in together as a 2023 thing after she finishes her schooling. And we're both fully on board and excited. Me and the GF have been hanging out since January 2021. So about 6-7 months. By the time I move in the new place it would be about a year post meeting her.

But I was lookin on quora and google and it seems that much time together can be detrimental to a relationship potentially. But I mean, eventually the endgame being either moving in or marriage is hell of a lot longer than a month long vacation and it seems like a lot of people happily figure it out. I dunno, maybe some Gafers with more experience than a mid 20s grasshopper can shed some light or share any insights or things to keep in mind?

As always my love shines radiant on all of you! Thanks guys!
 
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nush

Gold Member
Hey everyone, I'm moving cities way across country in late December/early January and the lady friend is helping me. We drafted up a plan we're excited about to fly her out to me like Dec 28th and have New Years in the city I'm in now, and then do the cross country road trip, and then hang out in my new city I'm living in and then go back to where she is a few hours away from my new city, and just basically have a little move in trial run until I start my job and head back down to my new town at the end of January.

Now I'm super hyped about this and she is too, we have a great relationship but then it hit me like, well fuck... Thats a lot of time together. I feel like maybe we'd run out of shit to talk about. But then I'm like wait no no no millions of couples move in together permentaly and are married like 10, 20, 30 goddamn 40 years and beyond so maybe I'm missing something? We've done some preliminary discussions about moving in together as a 2023 thing after she finishes her schooling. And we're both fully on board and excited. Me and the GF have been hanging out since January 2021. So about 6-7 months. By the time I move in the new place it would be about a year post meeting her.

But I was lookin on quora and google and it seems that much time together can be detrimental to a relationship potentially. But I mean, eventually the endgame being either moving in or marriage is hell of a lot longer than a month long vacation and it seems like a lot of people happily figure it out. I dunno, maybe some Gafers with more experience than a mid 20s grasshopper can shed some light or share any insights or things to keep in mind?

As always my love shines radiant on all of you! Thanks guys!

You're overthinking it and trying to science a solution to a problem that does not exist. You've lived with family right? It's like that but with just one person.
 
Relax you're probably going to have that alnighter where you talk through the night instead of sleeping and just finding heaps out about each other. Also it's the times you don't talk that get more intimate and interesting. If you're worried about things to talk about just have activities planned, experiences form bonds and talking points with each other.
 

Cyberpunkd

Member
Now I'm super hyped about this and she is too, we have a great relationship but then it hit me like, well fuck... Thats a lot of time together. I feel like maybe we'd run out of shit to talk about.
Confused Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

I mean - then just fuck? Works for me with my wife at 40, and definitely worked for me at 25.
 
you don't need to talk to each other non-stop in each others presence. The only thing detrimental to the relationship is your neuroticism
 

Malakhov

Banned
You're overthinking it, it will come naturally, and you'll see if you two are a good fit

I can't see the time fly by when I'm with my girlfriend. We can spend hours just talking about nothing while looking at each other, caressing each other while cuddling in bed. I feel like I'm in a cheesy love movie sometimes, but can't say I don't enjoy it
 

RJMacready73

Gold Member
You've been dating since Jan and you're moving in already? fuck me lad youse move quick, i assume you have spent weekends in each others company, overnights etc
 

Whitecrow

Gold Member
If you are moving for scapism and you are trying to patch your life with a relationship, it will eventally crumble and fall. Only move when you can be fine being alone by yourself.

Or just dont give a fuck, move, and what it lasts, it lasted and good ridance.
 
Are you serious? You’re worried about the relationship getting stale after a month? You must not like the girl very much. You’re at the beginning of the relationship. This is the easy part. Just relax and enjoy it.
 
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Hey everyone, I'm moving cities way across country in late December/early January and the lady friend is helping me. We drafted up a plan we're excited about to fly her out to me like Dec 28th and have New Years in the city I'm in now, and then do the cross country road trip, and then hang out in my new city I'm living in and then go back to where she is a few hours away from my new city, and just basically have a little move in trial run until I start my job and head back down to my new town at the end of January.

Now I'm super hyped about this and she is too, we have a great relationship but then it hit me like, well fuck... Thats a lot of time together. I feel like maybe we'd run out of shit to talk about. But then I'm like wait no no no millions of couples move in together permentaly and are married like 10, 20, 30 goddamn 40 years and beyond so maybe I'm missing something? We've done some preliminary discussions about moving in together as a 2023 thing after she finishes her schooling. And we're both fully on board and excited. Me and the GF have been hanging out since January 2021. So about 6-7 months. By the time I move in the new place it would be about a year post meeting her.

But I was lookin on quora and google and it seems that much time together can be detrimental to a relationship potentially. But I mean, eventually the endgame being either moving in or marriage is hell of a lot longer than a month long vacation and it seems like a lot of people happily figure it out. I dunno, maybe some Gafers with more experience than a mid 20s grasshopper can shed some light or share any insights or things to keep in mind?

As always my love shines radiant on all of you! Thanks guys!
It's time

 

jason10mm

Member
It will be a good time to see how much ya'll really gel. Any annoying traits that you or she keep suppressed with the other now will manifest. She hates that you snore? Gonna show. You can't stand that she always calls her mom during dinner you worked hard to make special? Can't hide that for a month. She always leaves her half empty glass on the stairs before bed for some inexplicable reason? It's cute for 2 nights every other weekend, downright murderous when it is EVERY night.

Stuff like that.
 

poppabk

Member
Maybe use that time having lots of sex?

Just a thought.
Basically this. You are in that golden period where you can't get enough of each other and all you need to sustain the relationship is sex.
Have a big argument? Sex will make it better. Can't think of anything to talk about? Seems like a perfect time for sex. Stuck in a motel in the middle of nowhere? May as well pass the time having sex. Too tired to go see the sights after all that sex? A quick fuck will surely reenergize you.
 

Punished Miku

Gold Member
I mean, it will either go really well or terribly bad. No amount of planning will change the outcome.

I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Or totally not fine.

Actually, I think you can plan a few things that help. I find that girls plan out stuff more than guys do honestly. Just little things to do. Or cook a few meals a week and surprise her with that. I'm usually surprised by how frequently my girlfriend will plan out things weeks in advance.

Also, clean your bathroom and your entire house at least once a week. Vigorously. Whatever you think is fine is not fine. Go further. Much, much further.
 
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Tschumi

Member
It's a month, it's not a weekend, i promise you that if you do your share of chores and cook for her and help her remain stress-free you'll get the increased frequency of da pussy you're no doubt expecting to occur. Always tidy and straighten up BEFORE you sit down for a 3 hour gaming sesh, or whatever. Don't just go in there stiff as a board waiting for her to get down on it
 
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Cattlyst

Member
Definitely overthinking it. You don't have to have things to say with someone you're comfortable with. Just being in their company is enough. Just relax, enjoy the ride and be cool. All the best OP, you got this
 

GymWolf

Gold Member
Just told her to close the bath door when she is doing a nasty number 2 and everything it's gonna be okay.

Not much worse than seeing someone bowel movement from up close to destroy the romanticism.
 
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NeoIkaruGAF

Gold Member
A month is more than enough time to decide if this thing is going to continue, or if it’s best to end this now.

”Be yourself” is usually terrible advice for a lot of things, but you can’t fake it for a month, so... be yourself.
 

zeorhymer

Member
Uh...had to read the post 3 times. She's not finished school, moving in together, planning things 2 years in advance. Real talk, doesn't sound like it's going to work. Good luck tho.
 

8bitpill

Member
I dont know how old you two are, but just go with the flow. Honestly looking up stuff online isn't going to help and it will just put the seed of doubt in your head.

 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Overthinking it. Its just like living with family except you have more individual responsibility for your messes around the house and that you have to keep track of your stuff. Mom isn't there to throw your stuff into your room or remind of you of this or that. So its not the talking or the entertainment that you need to worry about. It is the side by side day to day existence that gets you. Cleaning, laundry, leaving your stuff out on the counters, leaving trash on the coffee table, etc etc. These are the things that will get you when it comes to moving in with your significant other.


Also (and this is fucking essential) do *NOT* treat your significant other like a maid/butler or helper. At all times at the start of this experience you should be getting your own food/drink, doing your own laundry, and cleaning after yourself every chance you get. Do not unilaterally expect your significant other to pick up any personal slack that you might have in your personal cleanliness. And even *MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT* is that you yourself do not allow your significant other to treat you like that their own way. They are not your servant and likewise you are not theirs. A relationship is something that is done on equal terms. It is two adults coming together to form a life alongside each other. It does not mean that either person is immediately at the behest of the other. I have seen too many people go into a serious relationship with the attitude that they need to either appease the person or vice versa. That is not how a real long term relationship works.



A healthy relationship is a symbiotic one. Not a parasitic one. It is give and take given physical form. You both go from being individuals to being a pair. You do everything together. No one side of the relationship relies too much on the other. You both exist together. If that doesn't work then that is a sign that the relationship doesn't work.
 
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