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Americans are having less sex than they once did
- Thread starter Cornballer
- Start date
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I'm not helping these numbers this year.
My wife is pregnant for the first time and between her not feeling attractive (it's not from a lack of me trying to make her feel sexy), tired from her 12 hour shifts and the recent onset of Costochondritis has really taken a hit on our sex life. We went from 4-5 times a week to being lucky if we have sex twice in a two or three week period.
At least she has talked about this and how she feels bad about our lack of sex. We are looking forward to after she gives birth and we can get back on our normal schedule.
Back on topic, the numbers presented in the article make wonder how couples don't make time for sex. I don't buy that people would rather be on the internet or other forms of entertainment than make time for an enjoyable and fun activity with their partner.
My wife is pregnant for the first time and between her not feeling attractive (it's not from a lack of me trying to make her feel sexy), tired from her 12 hour shifts and the recent onset of Costochondritis has really taken a hit on our sex life. We went from 4-5 times a week to being lucky if we have sex twice in a two or three week period.
At least she has talked about this and how she feels bad about our lack of sex. We are looking forward to after she gives birth and we can get back on our normal schedule.
Back on topic, the numbers presented in the article make wonder how couples don't make time for sex. I don't buy that people would rather be on the internet or other forms of entertainment than make time for an enjoyable and fun activity with their partner.
HawksWinStanley
Member
Both I guess. We're just on slightly different schedules by a couple hours so she's gone in the morning before I get up, then she's going to bed before I do. The small window we have together consists of making dinner, eating it, maybe watching a show or two and then whatever needs to get done around the house. I mean we're not really in the mood to bang on full stomachs and not long after she has to go to bed. Most of the chores and must-do's have to get done during the week because our weekends are busy af.
So yeah, it just doesn't really happen unless we force it. Plus we have a kid on the way so I don't see it getting much better.
SciencePilot
Member
Average is a worthless statistic here. I need median!
That said, around once a week doesn't sound that bad. Usually I have sex more than once a week but it's concentrated on weekends, so it's seems pretty similar. And I'm fine with that! I feel lucky just to have a wonderful partner, honestly.
That said, around once a week doesn't sound that bad. Usually I have sex more than once a week but it's concentrated on weekends, so it's seems pretty similar. And I'm fine with that! I feel lucky just to have a wonderful partner, honestly.
Messofanego
Banned
Is there no day of the week you two are free?
yanipheonu
Member
"These immigrants are over running America!"
"Why don't you guys just have more kids and increase your numbers? "
"That's hard tho. Just build a wall."
I love when I see the more racist Canadians saying they don't like immigrants even as we NEED immigrants to keep our population growing.
"Why don't you guys just have more kids and increase your numbers? "
"That's hard tho. Just build a wall."
I love when I see the more racist Canadians saying they don't like immigrants even as we NEED immigrants to keep our population growing.
GameAddict411
Member
I would love to see how much access to porn impact this.
If the number of work hours are not the issue, than the amount of 40 - 45 hours each partner is working that do not overlap creates a situation where they may as well be working 65 hours each. I had neighbors a few years ago that I got to know pretty well, they were only a few years older than me. He is a hospital pharmacist who works the strangest hours ever, and she worked a more conventional M - F job. Their "weekends" were completely detached and whatever overlap they had in time off on a weekday were probably not typical daylight hours. Things got better when they moved to Renton, WA (near Seattle), but when you live your late 20's like that, you get to ages 35 and 36 having only had one child. And then you read stories about chronic teacher shortages in every state, and it makes me wonder if this sort of stuff started going on in the early 90's but did not become more widely noticed until "$1 trillion student debt" turned into a constant headline. Either way, it seems like educated middle class people are less on board the sex / marriage or long term partner / children train.
IISANDERII
Member
Occam's razor
paragonpro
Banned
Oh man, 55 times a year sounds soooo bad.....
single but if im lucky i have it 3 or 4 times a year
GoutPatrol
Forgotten in his cell
Occam's razor
Yeah, I was actually thinking this too. Less energy for the pushing.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
It's going to be even less, as in at all, after birth for a while too. But, after she's all healed up and feeling better, if you make sure you gives yourselves a bit of time and attention, you'll get that mojo back. Maybe not as frequently as in the past, but early days 2-3 a week is totally possible. The post-baby pitfall is real for many, many good reasons. No need to let it win in the end, though.
Chaos2Frozen
Member
Welcome to Japan, Americans.
mercenar1e
Member
and here i thought the Americans were getting fucked by Uncle Sam.
That's such a sad dilemma. I absolutely love a big ass but that means less "reach" in a position where I can best admire said ass. It helps if they arch their back enough but you're still left with gimped reach T_T.
HawksWinStanley
Member
Not usually, her work schedule changes from week to week and rarely has a usual Saturday/Sunday weekend off with me. And we have a lot of friends and family in the area which is great when you're looking for something to do but every...single...weekend somebody has a birthday or celebrating something or going out for some occasion or just a game night, or trying a new bar/restaurant etc. And yeah, there's obviously times when we can still get it in before or after we go out for the night and there's definitely room to do it more often but it's just never convenient. On the days we genuinely have nothing to do then yeah we go to town on each other, but those days don't come around often.
Icedburden
Member
It's what happens when adults have responsibilities. My wife and I have so much going on all the time, making time is hard. Wait until these 'that seems low' people have kids.
LOL
omg keep posting.
ghostofsparta
Member
No no, it's definitely more cushion for the pushin
Alcotholic
Banned
My gf and I have sex about once a week. Sometimes twice. We don't live with each other, so that's probably the biggest reason why, but I do t think once a week is bad at all. To those ragging and bragging need to lay off. Sex is great and important to a relationship, but only having it once a week won't destroy what's going on.
God Dayumm
Banned
Excess sugar and excess weight are like chemical castration for both sexes. But it is not all bad, there are more things in life than sex and also there is already too much overpopulation.
Messofanego
Banned
You don't have to go to those events. Can always just politely refuse. Your relationship is more important than some birthday or new bar.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
People don't get into relationships as much anymore because of the internet, and cellphones. And in a relationship, you bang a lot more than if you're sleeping with multiple people through tinder. 55 tinder hookups in a year is a fuck ton.
Protip: women (people) are not attracted to this kind of attitude.
How About No
Member
triplestation
Member
It's the food
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Definitely time to take a weekend way together. Anyone nearby to help? Even a night away a week would be worth the money spent, it seems.
No family nearby and no good method of leaving the kids somewhere for days like that. Kids are still infant and toddler age so require constant attention. Wife works weekends and I work during the week. So yeah, kind of just given up for the time being
JimJamJones
Member
Heh
Kain-Nosgoth
Member
i mean... one times a week doesn't seem that bad to me
Glendemonium
Member
Funny story. Had some friends who married very young, gave me a ton of shit for it.
Ten years later, I get to hear them complain they don't have sex anymore, or got busy in years. LOL.
Ten years later, I get to hear them complain they don't have sex anymore, or got busy in years. LOL.
Razzorn34
Member
I'd kill for that honestly. Being married with kids is no joke. We were at it almost daily before kids. Now? Maybe once a month.
Yeah, I thought it would be different for me too. Friends would tell me how things were going to go and I thought, "This definitely won't happen to me." Turns out, they were spot on, and I hate them for it.
Same haha. Depending on your support structure, young kids can be manageable or all encompassing work. Especially if both parents still have to work.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
That does make it tough. Hmmm... Does your infant sleep through the night yet? Or even just for a fair stretch (3-4hrs)? A babysitter or friend can just stay for a few hours after putting them down so that you could go out and say, take advantage of a nice dinner and room at a hotel as a much needed gift to yourselves. Not unheard of for busy/in-the-trenches couples. Or drop them both off at a sitter's for an hour or two so that you have your own house to yourselves for a bit. We don't have any family near either and had to do a bit of creative arranging when our baby was pre-6 months, but after sleep training we're back to normal. But don't give up! Work it in there!
Is it the second one that does it?
Vincent Grayson
Member
No, it's deciding (often subconsciously) to not prioritize time together, alone, and naked. I mean sure, sometimes it's just straight up stress, or you're not getting along because being a parent is hard, or any number of other things.
But when it's not that, it's just a matter of making time to do it. It might mean putting something off for an hour to get in bed and fuck, but you do it because that's important too.
The issue in most marriages I've seen is that while one partner is all-in on the "let's put in the work to keep our intimacy alive", the other is less so, and then shit degrades from there. Sometimes it's directly related to kids, but often it's not.
SafeinSound
Member
I'm part of the problem. Don't have sex with my S/O like we used to. Sometimes only twice or three times a month and we live together. Mainly my fault.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I think this is a good assessment of it. Fatigue and stress and just feeling like crap (especially physically after a baby) genuinely get in the way, but many times it's just not prioritizing it, as you say. I've worked hard to keep the intimacy alive following the baby after seeing a number of friends' marriages suffer for lack of it. We're only one baby and three years in, though, so maybe this is still the honeymoon period?
Phobophile
A scientist and gentleman in the manner of Batman.
I masturbate mostly when I'm bored. I'm only 31 and in the best shape of my life and I'm less interested in sex now than I was in my early-mid 20s. I think that's partially due to not being in my prime any more, but also since it's so overrated and doesn't live up to the hype for me.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
I find sex to be underwhelming. Masturbation is a personal time, so I'd rather have that. I'm in a relationship and I have a stronger opinion about it.
Masturbation is about making me happy, sex is about making the other happy. I know that I'll be happy with masturbation, sex not always.
Masturbation is about making me happy, sex is about making the other happy. I know that I'll be happy with masturbation, sex not always.
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