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Any of you guys ever feel like you're stuck in a rut?

mcjmetroid

Member
Feb 11, 2019
2,953
3,953
510
Limerick, Ireland
I'm not normally this guy but I feel like typing this out will help me digest this feeling.

My life is comfortable and has been for a while. I Have a decent wage
have some friends, live with friends and we have a good time. Watch movies and gaming and so on.

I very rarely drink have and have the occasional weed.
I also try to workout a few times a week so I believe I'm healthy.

I'm 32 though and sometimes I feel like I've completely lost any motivation to have any adventure.
I don't have a relationship or a partner and this worries me I suppose.

I'm not depressed or anything like that just feel like the years are slipping by and I suppose I'm comparing myself to other people my age with a family or a really good career and sometimes feel I'm being left behind.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm happy in my bubble but sometimes I suppose I get jealous of other people and their lives and sometimes think " shit I probably should be doing better shouldn't i"?"

Perhaps the lockdowns and such haven't helped things.

Anyone else get a similar feeling?
I know some people get it with work or with family arrangements etc.

Please share if you do.
 

Stouffers

Banned
Oct 17, 2017
4,396
9,120
595
I'm in a rut
That I don't want to be in
I wanna break the chains
I wanna smash those chains
Those chains that I've around my brains
And I would do it but
I would do it but
I can't 'cause I'm in a rut
I'm in a rut
I've had enough
Of the same stuff over and
Over and over and over
I'm in a rut
 

MetalAlien

Banned
Mar 6, 2005
13,629
11,408
1,940
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
Welcome to life let me be your guide. Oh wait you have already seen all it has to offer.
 
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MastAndo

Member
Oct 13, 2014
1,959
2,765
585
Yeah, I feel you. I quite enjoy my rut, so it's hard to get out of it, and it's been this way for years. No real problems to think about, I just go about my business as I please - but there's really no driving force there, no ambition to be better, minus some half-assed attempts here and there. There's no real suffering associated with my status quo so why stir the pot? There's just not enough discomfort to want to make a change, I suppose.

I'm not jealous of other people's lives though. Most people I know my age are stressed to the gills, and I don't have such things weighing on me. I guess my main concern with all this is growing into a sad, solitary old man and wondering what the hell I did with my life.
 

TaySan

Banned
Dec 16, 2018
2,598
4,253
560
You are going through what they call a "mid life crisis". I'm 27 and I'm feeling like I'm going through a mid twenties crisis lol
 
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John2290

Member
Feb 24, 2018
716
700
490
Yes, Definitely. I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again with no escape, it's suffocating. I guess this is the price we pay for security and a comfortable societal life so I can't complain. Tbh, we are the richest peasants in the history of humans and we get so much more than any of the 99% in generations past. Gotta be thankful for that even if life is stale at most times. I'm telling ya, we wouldn't want to be peasants a century ago or in some countries not even 50 or 60 years ago. Find your hobbies and dig in.
 

TalentedMrJ

Member
Apr 18, 2020
214
275
260
Think everyone feels that way at times... or most of the time

Don't be jealous of others. Everyone has problems and don't usually show them for the public to see
Grass ain't greener on the other side

Smoke some weed and relax.
 

TeezzyD

Fantastik Tuna
Mar 18, 2020
8,488
21,554
935
If you want life to change, you have to take some risks and shake shit up. Nobody can do that for you but yourself.

The quarantine ain't helping, and neither will the upcoming winter. Realize you only have one life, and this is it. Spend some time with yourself, and go after what you actually want.

Prepare to be kicked in the balls a bunch along the way.
 

Ozzy Onya A2Z

Member
Apr 16, 2012
9,234
2,966
880
Melbourne, Australia
What you mentally focus on is where you subconsciously lead your life. Whenever I feel in a rut I just change my routine and step out of my comfort zone. Try something new, talk with new people, read something new, play something new and without lockdown go somewhere new. I keep busy so I generally don't fall into a rut to begin with. As others have noted finding a partner is super worthwhile to combating routine and rut, however, it's not a requirement for happiness.
 

mcjmetroid

Member
Feb 11, 2019
2,953
3,953
510
Limerick, Ireland
Yeah, I feel you. I quite enjoy my rut, so it's hard to get out of it, and it's been this way for years. No real problems to think about, I just go about my business as I please - but there's really no driving force there, no ambition to be better, minus some half-assed attempts here and there. There's no real suffering associated with my status quo so why stir the pot? There's just not enough discomfort to want to make a change, I suppose.

I'm not jealous of other people's lives though. Most people I know my age are stressed to the gills, and I don't have such things weighing on me. I guess my main concern with all this is growing into a sad, solitary old man and wondering what the hell I did with my life.
I really feel you here.
 
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Krappadizzle

Member
Oct 4, 2011
14,750
5,474
1,255
I dunno, my wife and I have been going through the motions for the better part of 11 years, bought a house, own our car, make a decent living, have pretty much everything we wanted. Kinda felt a bit stagnant the last 2 years or so. And then she got pregnant after all these years and we had a healthy baby daughter, who's now 3 mos. old and it feels like a whole new chapter of life has just opened up.
 

Vier

Member
Jun 7, 2019
3,755
7,611
695
Dallas, Texas
Can people get “stuck in a butt” like dogs? That’d be a sight.
 
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Stiflers Mom

Banned
Apr 27, 2012
8,502
12,788
1,150
I dunno, my wife and I have been going through the motions for the better part of 11 years, bought a house, own our car, make a decent living, have pretty much everything we wanted. Kinda felt a bit stagnant the last 2 years or so. And then she got pregnant after all these years and we had a healthy baby daughter, who's now 3 mos. old and it feels like a whole new chapter of life has just opened up.
Kids are a great way to get out of that feeling.
It's like stuff is changing so fast around you suddenly, and you have less time to think about yourself.
 

and 3 others

Banned
Feb 27, 2020
4,217
8,909
625
It's Minecraft time OP.

But seriously, the real rut is, when you apply for a car loan, and you quickly do the math, and realize you'll be 45 when it's finally paid off. (Wait, wasn't I 26 last year!?!?)
 
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JimmyRustler

Member
Jun 17, 2006
10,341
2,456
1,630
Stop comparing yourself to others, it will always make you feel miserable as there will always be someone who achieved more than you. But when you do, make sure to dig deeper and don't look them just on the surface level. Most people are not a happy as they seem to you.

At some point (what that point is each one of us has to decide for himself) you just have to let go, enjoy life, be happy with what you have and stop chasing that next best thing. At the end of the day you get used to everything anyway (that is just how our brains work) so it's easy to get stuck in that cycle forever.
 
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JimiNutz

Banned
Apr 15, 2007
12,471
5,984
1,680
London UK
I think these thoughts are quite common when you start to get into your 30s
I was pretty content in my 20s but then got to my early 30s and wondered whether being 'content' meant that I hadn't done enough in my 30s to be in a 'better' position.

I eventually concluded that I should probably be grateful that I was happy in my 20s and that I actually still had a lot in my life to be thankful for.
I also tried to compare myself to others less. Sure there are people that have done 'better' than me but I have no ideal whether those people are actually happy or what goes on behind closed doors. Just focus on yourself.
 

lock2k

Banned
Jun 13, 2018
5,987
9,148
645
Brazil
I wish midlife crisis was as awesome as the FNM song


If I ever feel stuck? Yeah, all the time, I think I'm doomed actually. Close to 40, stupid menial job (compared to what I aimed), thankfully I have my daughter otherwise my life would be a complete shit show in my eyes.
 
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synchronicity

Member
Dec 16, 2011
4,179
3,968
990
Comfort/contentment are not the same is living. Living is meant to involve risk, following the beat of your innermost heart. Life is not felt deeply in safety. Put yourself at risk for something that really moves you, and you'll awaken.
 
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asustitan

Member
Dec 19, 2019
305
599
365
Maybe I can reassure the OP, at some point everybody's dominos fall down, and we all end up in the same boat.

When the Sun explodes or a meteor crashes into us, everything that has ever been progressed during our rule of humankind all gets reset to zero. If we manage to inhabit a nearby star, that will also explode one day until there are no stars left to explode. The great reset.

In the end it doesn't matter what we do or achieve. I don't have the most positive of outlooks as you can tell :). But when you see bosses, superiors getting stressed about mundane shit that doesn't matter I do like the way I see things. Same as road rage, if someone cuts me up I can just shrug my shoulders.
 
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DunDunDunpachi

Patient MembeR
Apr 18, 2018
29,332
70,261
1,375
USA
dunpachi.com
How often do you read a book? I started reading heavily after high school because it helped me maintain a sense of week-to-week progress. Of course, I had to be disciplined enough to pick "hard" books that would give me something in exchange for my time, but it was a great way of keeping myself busy in the day to day while also being able to look back and know that I had invested my time into something that lasts.

Gotta be honest with you, though: most people struggle their whole lives to embrace the mundane. I think a sign of adulthood and wisdom is to learn this lesson. If you can find peace and satisfaction simply by waking up, enjoying your blessings, then laying your head down for the night without any event or activity "making" your day "worth it", you will have a much better life. Our society is obsessed with morphing our lives into some grand drama that we see on TV or in books or in our peers' lives instead of realizing the life we have is already the best drama we'll ever experience.
 
Apr 19, 2019
9,180
15,103
780
Away with the fairies
I have multiple times in life (Before Covid).

I used to overcome it by going outside of my comfort zone and trying new things, going to new places, and doing things that I would never have done before.

Change is important now and then.
Listen to this man, for he has all the answers.

Variety isn't just the spice of life, it's the essence of it.
 

nyr88nyg

Member
May 23, 2020
1,358
2,120
405
I hate work but I have a 1 year old daughter that I look forward going home to every day. I feel like I’ve lost most of my friends. All my problems melt away when I have her.