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Anyone here have more than one child, and why did you decide you wanted to have more?

poodaddy

Member
May 2, 2015
4,457
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500
Washington
Real talk. What happens when you nut. Is it like clear? Cause if I can't paint the love of my life white like a geisha, I don't want to live.
Haha, ya know I was curious about that too. The truth is there's no difference whatsoever, but honestly I don't recommend getting it, and if I could go back and change it I would. There are things about the side effects after wards that noone tells you about. Sex is fine and mostly unaffected, but if my wife "rides" a little too hard, then it causes my left nut to swell and it hurts for days at a time. I'm going through it right now. Also, my left nut hangs much higher than it used to, which I'm told makes sense due to the way the vas deferens, (hope I spelled that correctly), is cut and tied inside there, but I think they did something wrong with mine. It hangs high enough that I peg it sometimes when do deadlifts, and when I squat it feels like my abdominal muscle is crushing my left nut as my left nut tends to ascend way more than it should during intense exercises some times. I'm thinking about getting it reversed, but I don't want my wife to ever have to be on birth control again either as it really fucked her up. If you're good with the pull out method or something else, go that direction, as the vasectomy isn't quite as cut and dried and awesome as I was always told it was.

That being said, full disclosure, I had my vasectomy performed by VA doctors as I do all my health care through the VA, (disabled vet), and honestly they fuckin suck. Most people I've spoken to who have had the procedure done have had nothing but good things to say about it, so bear that in mind. I'm literally the only person I know of who had a bad experience with it......guess I'm just a lucky fuckin guy.
 
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Elcid

Member
Jul 27, 2018
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Haha, ya know I was curious about that too. The truth is there's no difference whatsoever, but honestly I don't recommend getting it, and if I could go back and change it I would. There are things about the side effects after wards that noone tells you about. Sex is fine and mostly unaffected, but if my wife "rides" a little too hard, then it causes my left nut to swell and it hurts for days at a time. I'm going through it right now. Also, my left nut hangs much higher than it used to, which I'm told makes sense due to the way the vas deferens, (hope I spelled that correctly), is cut and tied inside there, but I think they did something wrong with mine. It hangs high enough that I peg it sometimes when do deadlifts, and when I squat it feels like my abdominal muscle is crushing my left nut as my left nut tends to ascend way more than it should during intense exercises some times. I'm thinking about getting it reversed, but I don't want my wife to ever have to be on birth control again either as it really fucked her up. If you're good with the pull out method or something else, go that direction, as the vasectomy isn't quite as cut and dried and awesome as I was always told it was.

That being said, full disclosure, I had my vasectomy performed by VA doctors as I do all my health care through the VA, (disabled vet), and honestly they fuckin suck. Most people I've spoken to who have had the procedure done have had nothing but good things to say about it, so bear that in mind. I'm literally the only person I know of who had a bad experience with it......guess I'm just a lucky fuckin guy.
Thanks for the story brother. I will never get a vasectomy. I like my squats and deadlifts too much.
 
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bigsnack

Member
Sep 12, 2005
365
116
1,425
Los Angeles
Eh, with mine they took a soldering iron to my tubes and I do t have any side effects. With mine though, nothing comes out but a puff of smoke.
 

MrMephistoX

Member
May 18, 2007
5,059
1,630
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My wife and I have 1 child. We will not be having more. There are a number of reasons why and I'll try to sum them up as concisely as possible.

1) Her and I weren't meant to be parents - I don't mean this to be negative, but we both are not natural parents and have struggled through parenthood in ways where we have some regrets about what we gave up to have a child and believe we should not have another

2) Age. Our daughter was born when we were 33 and 34 respectively. We are now in our late 30's and this is really the first time since our daughter was born either of us would seriously have considered having kid 2. We don't want to be raising kids into our late 50's.

3) We both have career goals we still want to obtain and having a child makes doing so much harder. My wife is in grad school right now and I am currently staying in my job to help support us from an income standpoint because if I were to change jobs onto the career path I want to pursue I would have to take a massive paycut and with a child we can't afford it. With two kids it would make it tough even with my wife finishing school

4) We are selfish. I don't mean this negatively. But her and I both miss our pre-child life and have gotten through the tough phases of having a young child. We pretty much can enjoy the things we were able to enjoy pre-child and once our daughter reaches the point where she can get up on the morning on her own without a parent I believe we will be in that sweet spot of having a young child who is super fun to be around, but also having flexibility with our personal lives

5) We don't want to go back to the early days of parenting. My daughter cried for 3 months straight at night and it was miserable. Each night was a terror. My wife had to get medicated to cope.

6) As I said my wife had to get medicated - in part because how difficult my daughter was as an infant, and in part because she simply had post-partum. Her post-partum was quite bad. No reason to rock the boat on that and try to have another child in case she were to have another bout with it.

7) Kids are expensive. We spend over 12k a year on daycare alone. And daycare where we live is cheaper than many other places. That's just daycare.

We love our daughter as she is and feel like our family is complete. Everyone is wired differently when it comes to parenthood. She adds so much to our life and has become a wonderful complement to what we have, but we don't feel there is any desire to add more children. For us, 1 was enough.
This is one of the most honest single child posts I’ve read and you and your wife are a lot like me and my wife. I love my daughter to death but going through the baby phase again now that we’re both finally earning 6 figures in our mid 30’s seems like a nightmare. Don’t let the kid stop you from making a move they adapt. I started grad school the week after she was born and we both got new jobs in LA when she was 2. We could have settled and stayed in Portland but it was boring and a career path to nowhere unless you get hired by Nike or are an engineer. California is way more expensive but there’s just way more room for career dev.
 
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iconmaster

Member
Jul 18, 2013
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if you have more than 1 you mustve really screwed up the first one beyond repair.
That's an odd take.

It's having the first that makes having further children more likely. Kids want siblings their own age for playmates and company. Our youngest ended up spaced a bit too much after her older sister and could have probably used another sibling closer to her own age. So, the answer is we had more children for the sake of the children we already had. Kids seem to do better in larger families.
 

Rubik8

Member
Jun 29, 2009
302
72
920
We have 4. We had the second because both my wife and I have one sibling, and it seemed weird to us to only have one child. We decided to have the third because we don’t have much extended family, and we wanted our kids to have more family once we are gone. The fourth was unintentional. But we weren’t upset because they will grow up with lots of nieces and nephews (maybe).
 

RoboFu

Member
Oct 10, 2017
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We had twins and we couldn’t just leave one at the hospital.... right? .... maybe?
 

King of Foxes

Member
Jan 9, 2018
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Latvia
I have 5 kids in total, 4 who live with me, the 5th will move in soon.

I recently found out i have a teen daughter with an old fling. She is moving in with us next year to go to university here in Riga.

My wife and i have two kids together, a boy and a girl and then my wifes brothers two kids live with us full time because her brother and his girlfriend are always drunk.

We are actively trying for another baby now.

The two kids with my wife were planned, my oldest daughter wasnt planned and then my niece and nephew living with us became something that had to happen.

The desire for more in my opinion comes from the joy of having a baby until toddler. They need you for everything and love you like crazy, its addictive i would say.

We are always tired but its worth it, i feel sorry for people who dont have kids, they are really missing out. I would be ok with the kids living here forever really, i would have no issues with them not moving out and raising their kids here also.
 

Mobilemofo

Member
Apr 14, 2019
311
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Don't have kids, my experience is while a child with siblings can be a shit, a only-child will be most definitely be shit.
Not sure what brings that about but most mothers with an only-child I have met seemed not quite right in the head.
Defo don't have kids. I helped a friend raise a child for two years many moons ago and the experience was thoroughly unpleasant. 😅
 

King of Foxes

Member
Jan 9, 2018
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Latvia
I currently have a 9 month old son. First child.
I love him more than anything, but man, having a baby in your life is hard as shit!
I can't wait until he's older.
I'm unsure where I sit on having another.
My wife wants him to have a sibling, and I think I'd like that for him too.
But I also don't want to go through another baby stage again. When my son was a few weeks old I was already looking up vasectomy clinics near me thinking "I'm never doing this shit again".
Want to know the truth?

It only gets harder and the older they get you will miss how easy it was when they were under 2
 
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suedester

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Dec 5, 2008
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If there’s two they can play together and leave you the fuck alone. Little tip for any aspiring parents.
 

lrt75914

Member
Mar 8, 2014
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Being a dad brings me so much joy. As faithful Catholics, my wife and I don't use artificial forms of birth control. I'm so glad we don't because each of our eight fill our hearts and lives with love. I'm sure they will be great friends for life.

My youngest runs past mommy to her big brother to console her when she gets a boo-boo, lol. He's such a good example for the others. We are raising them to love God above all else and to live good, honest lives of faith and virtue.



Sorry mate, couldn't resist.
 
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falcs

Member
May 5, 2011
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Australia
Want to know the truth?

It only gets harder and the older they get you will miss how easy it was when they were under 2
So I've been told. Still, I think I'll enjoy being able to play with him with more older kid toys, or video games, or even watching cartoons together. Despite the challenges of older kids.
I've always disliked babies and found them extremely boring and uninteresting. Of course I love my son more than anything, but I have so much to look forward to after the baby stage is over.
 

Alter_Fridge

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Aug 8, 2016
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So I've been told. Still, I think I'll enjoy being able to play with him with more older kid toys, or video games, or even watching cartoons together. Despite the challenges of older kids.
I've always disliked babies and found them extremely boring and uninteresting. Of course I love my son more than anything, but I have so much to look forward to after the baby stage is over.
I've never heard of babies being described as boring before. A Nightmare yes, sleep vampires of course. Big, irreversible mistaes no doubt, but never boring.

That's really interesting
 
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falcs

Member
May 5, 2011
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Australia
I've never heard of babies being described as boring before. A Nightmare yes, sleep vampires of course. Big, irreversible mistaes no doubt, but never boring.

That's really interesting
I meant boring in the sense that the first few months he could only lay on his back and not do anything. During his awake periods, obviously.
Don't get me wrong, he's very tiring. But now he's started crawling and he's much more aware of everything so he's way more fun than he was 5 months ago. But it's not like I can play Uno cards with him or build something out of Lego with him yet. So I'm finding the older he gets the more fun we have together.
 
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So I've been told. Still, I think I'll enjoy being able to play with him with more older kid toys, or video games, or even watching cartoons together. Despite the challenges of older kids.
I've always disliked babies and found them extremely boring and uninteresting. Of course I love my son more than anything, but I have so much to look forward to after the baby stage is over.
If you raise em right then they are a blast as they get older. My oldest daughter runs a WOW guild with my wife. I've been teaching all the kids tabletop gaming and we do a weekly Pathfinder game that is the highlight of my week usually.
 
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Rubik8

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Jun 29, 2009
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I’m sort of shocked at the amount of emotionally stunted and shellfish fucks in this thread. I’m begging you NOT to have children. Because they will be messed up beyond repair.
 
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Mossybrew

Member
Apr 2, 2015
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Bellingham WA
If you raise em right then they are a blast as they get older. My oldest daughter runs a WOW guild with my wife. I've been teaching all the kids tabletop gaming and we do a weekly Pathfinder game that is the highlight of my week usually.
I dunno about "raise em right" because I think most kids are naturally right you just do your best not to fuck them up. But other than that, for sure as your kids get older it can be hugely satisfying, not only on a basic level of they can take care of themselves, but they get into cool stuff and before you know it your daughter is schooling you on obscure Batman comic lore and your son is playing Magic with you.