My ideal iPhone at this point would be an SE2 with a home button and a 3.5mm jack... but it seems like I am getting precisely zero of those in any iPhone
Assuming the worst, I'll probably just settle with an iPhone 8 or the current SE.
They did this to themselves by going with "iPhone X"... and declaring that it meant 10.
I'd be down for just "X" series iPhones. "X1, X2, etc".
Now we're entering the shitty carrier variant model naming convention game.