Are relationships becoming the norm?

[Peterpan]

As the op states, are relationships the 'norm' these days.

Everytime I tell someone that I am single, it's like I am weirdo. This question follows without fail 'Why are you single?'. Now this does not happen with potential prospects only, but with straight guys who I am having a normal conversation with. I'm a straight guy by the way.

My friends are all in relationships, even if they refuse to call it that. Most of them are not happy, they are always arguing with their partners and they are unhappy clearly. Everytime I tell them why not leave they say you will understand when you get older. Maybe I do not understand.

My issue is I choose not to be in a relationship, because I am pursuing my dreams I do not have time to be arguing with someone, or having to entertain someone every other day. I have not met a girl who is not continuously bothering me or who is happy to allow me to chase my dreams, while she chases hers. I rather just have the occasional hook up with no strings attached and move on.

Relationship is about sacrifice true, but most is about settling. I know this because my last girlfriend from 3 years ago, used to be hot according to my friends, but used to be a very shitty person. So I settled even with all that shittiness. I was about to get into relationships due to peer pressure as I felt like I was the only single person in the world it feels like, luckily a friend of mine told me not to as he was in a 4 year relationship that ended poorly so he said wait for the right one.

So my question is do you feel like being in a relationship is the 'norm'? What is the issue with being alone? Just because you alone does not mean you a player or no-one wants you.

Why are people settling? Are people willing to be unhappy, just not to be alone?

 

[CrimsonSquall]

How old are you OP?

 

[Count Dookkake]

No.

 

[maomaoIYP]

Yes, it's becoming the norm. Only like a year ago, humanity vastly preferred to be single. Uh huh.

 

[Maximo]

...no?

 

[Chaos2Frozen]

'These days' ?

It has always been like this. If you don't get a partner it means there's something wrong with you that other people don't like to be with...

....*cough* I mean, so I've heard...

 

[triplestation]

Being single in 2016

Gotta get on the bae wagon dude

 

[Marky Mark]

How old are you OP?

Sounds pretty young. He'll understand when he gets older.

 

[Vice]

I don't think it's becoming the norm. Coupling has been popular for a few decades at least.

 

[Always-honest]

No, not at all.

And, for your information, some relationships work pretty well. I will agree that most DON'T though. But that's mostly because people mistake lust for love and because people are too stupid to realise that a relationship requires a bit of effort.
Any relationship for that matter. Tradition is also a killer for real honest good relationships (some girls just want to marry because of the ring, the photo and the single tear). As is religion.

 

[kinoki]

People are different. We're not the same. What makes you happy doesn't necessarily make anyone else happy. Stop thinking everybody is like you. You'll be happier.

 

[Preezy]

It's becoming the norm, but if you don't subscribe to that it doesn't make you objectively abnormal. Just relax and go bowling.

 

[Lord of Ostia]

This is such a strange post. Relationships have always been a 'thing' for as long people have partnered up romantically, which is basically the history of forever. Dating is a big part of a lot of peoples' lives, with the end goal to be...in a relationship. People crave companionship and affection, and a relationship is probably the best source of that. Your friends may be in bad relationships, or maybe they are right and you don't fully understand their relationships from the outside. If you don't feel the need to be in a relationship that's totally fine, but many people like to be with someone they care about.

 

[Kurita]

I mean, they've been the norm since... forever.

But you do you.

 

[CD'S BAR]

How old are you OP?

he's peter pan

 

[Machina]

This is such a strange post. Relationships have always been a 'thing' for as long people have partnered up romantically, which is basically the history of forever. Dating is a big part of a lot of peoples' lives, with the end goal to be...in a relationship. People crave companionship and affection, and a relationship is probably the best source of that. Your friends may be in bad relationships, or maybe they are right and you don't fully understand their relationships from the outside. If you don't feel the need to be in a relationship that's totally fine, but many people like to be with someone they care about.

Of course they do, just not from me.

 

[sfedai0]

OP must have just left Japan and realized the rest of the world still procreates.

 

[ginger ninja]

Single 25 years and counting. Single not by choice Gaf unite !

Spoiler

please unite

 

[Erevador]

This has been normal for our species for... some time now.

 

[Lord of Ostia]

Of course they do, just not from me.

Lol, well you never know until you try I guess?

 

[x3sphere]

I feel like you're taking your friends comments the wrong way or something. Just asking 'why are you single' isn't insinuating that you're weird. Seems like normal conversation to me.

 

[tearsofash]

I'm so lonely

 

[Peterpan]

How old are you OP?

I am young. 24. Maybe that's why I have this perspective. Though people around me are around my age and are basically a lock for marriage already.

Answering another post. I never said relationships don't work. I am saying people are settling down when they are unhappy. I have chosen not to settle down, because I have not found the right person and being in past relationships that were messed up I choose not to go back to those. That is all.

All I am asking why am I the weirdo when you in the relationship that is not working (not directed at anyone in particular) and you dislike it, yet I'm the weirdo for not settling for that, or too young to understand. Maybe I am too young to understand.

 

[BeeDog]

I am young. 24. Maybe that's why I have this perspective. Though people around me are around my age and are basically a lock for marriage already.

Answering another post. I never said relationships don't work. I am saying people are settling down when they are unhappy. I have chosen not to settle down, because I have not found the right person and being in past relationships that were messed up I choose not to go back to those. That is all.

All I am asking why am I the weirdo when you in the relationship that is not working (not directed at anyone in particular) and you dislike it, yet I'm the weirdo for not settling for that, or too young to understand. Maybe I am too young to understand.

Yeah, seems you've completely missed the point of settling down by using failed/bad relationships as reference points. Reconsider your examples and realize the purpose of 'settling down', which is to find normalcy and stability with a person you love and can share the rest of your life with (hopefully).

 

[GCX]

You're at an age when some people from your age group start to settle down. Some stay single but some get married, have kids, etc.

From your perspective it may seem like there's some crazy relationship phenomenon going on but on a wider scale, it's quite normal. Welcome to adult life.

 

[Always-honest]

I am young. 24. Maybe that's why I have this perspective. Though people around me are around my age and are basically a lock for marriage already.

Answering another post. I never said relationships don't work. I am saying people are settling down when they are unhappy. I have chosen not to settle down, because I have not found the right person and being in past relationships that were messed up I choose not to go back to those. That is all.

All I am asking why am I the weirdo when you in the relationship that is not working (not directed at anyone in particular) and you dislike it, yet I'm the weirdo for not settling for that, or too young to understand. Maybe I am too young to understand.

That's fine. Too many people settle for shit.
Just practice a bit until you find the person who feels right for you ;P

Nothing wrong with NOT being in a relationship.

 

[Messofanego]

If you don't find a partner in 30 days, you're turned into an animal. It's rough out here in this anti-single world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTNZmOJxuAc

 

[Mexen]

Well as a single dude with a girlfriend, it has its perks. For instance, no in-laws.

Edit: completely misread OP!

 

[Kthulhu]

If you don't find a partner in 30 days, you're turned into an animal. It's rough out here in this anti-single world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTNZmOJxuAc

I really need to watch this when I get the chance.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

24 is no age at all.

 

[Contica]

Relationship is about sacrifice true, but most is about settling.

This is a load of crap.

It's the kind of shit people say when they're not really happy in their relationship, but try to make it okay.

If you feel you need to make sacrifices, or compromise, then you're not with the right person. I've been in several relationships, good and bad, but these days, I know I've met the one. We've been together for years, never had a single fight, or even disagreement, always get along, always like being around each other, and we're always supportive of each other.

It's not about compromise and sacrifice, it's about finding the right one, and you'll know when that happens. How? Because this person will make you feel good, accepted, and most crucial of all, like you're home. And best of all? They'll never ask you to change anything about yourself, because they fell for who you are, not who they want you to be.

 

[Kill Your Masters]

My friends are all in relationships, even if they refuse to call it that. Most of them are not happy, they are always arguing with their partners and they are unhappy clearly. Everytime I tell them why not leave they say you will understand when you get older. Maybe I do not understand.

They probably mean you will understand once they file for divorce and call you up to tell you to never get married/settle.

Being in a relationship for the sake of just not being single is the worst reason to get into a relationship.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I feel like you're taking your friends comments the wrong way or something. Just asking 'why are you single' isn't insinuating that you're weird. Seems like normal conversation to me.

I imagine it's the tone of the conversation that has OP wondering.

 

[ramparter]

Single 25 years and counting. Single not by choice Gaf unite !

Spoiler

please unite

Why don't you make a thread to find gamer girls close to you? What could go wrong?

Spoiler

single too, not by choice :/

 

[Kain]

The OP's username couldn't be more appropriate.

 

[Always-honest]

24 is no age at all.

Why not?

 

[SlickShoes]

As the op states, are relationships the 'norm' these days.

Everytime I tell someone that I am single, it's like I am weirdo. This question follows without fail 'Why are you single?'. Now this does not happen with potential prospects only, but with straight guys who I am having a normal conversation with. I'm a straight guy by the way.

My friends are all in relationships, even if they refuse to call it that. Most of them are not happy, they are always arguing with their partners and they are unhappy clearly. Everytime I tell them why not leave they say you will understand when you get older. Maybe I do not understand.

My issue is I choose not to be in a relationship, because I am pursuing my dreams I do not have time to be arguing with someone, or having to entertain someone every other day. I have not met a girl who is not continuously bothering me or who is happy to allow me to chase my dreams, while she chases hers. I rather just have the occasional hook up with no strings attached and move on.

Relationship is about sacrifice true, but most is about settling. I know this because my last girlfriend from 3 years ago, used to be hot according to my friends, but used to be a very shitty person. So I settled even with all that shittiness. I was about to get into relationships due to peer pressure as I felt like I was the only single person in the world it feels like, luckily a friend of mine told me not to as he was in a 4 year relationship that ended poorly so he said wait for the right one.

So my question is do you feel like being in a relationship is the 'norm'? What is the issue with being alone? Just because you alone does not mean you a player or no-one wants you.

Why are people settling? Are people willing to be unhappy, just not to be alone?

I mean if you think that's what relationships are then you are never going to find one that is fulfilling.

I can't imagine not sharing my life with someone I love. My wife and I rarely argue, we are best friends and just now she is working away from home pursuing her career.

Some people are fine alone, others are not. Not everyone in a relationship is unhappy, you have some pretty terrible examples of relationships if you think they are all unhappy people.

I am happier with my wife than I am alone, I am happier with my friends than I am alone, I am happier with my dog than I am alone. People need other people.

 

[BudokaiMR2]

Uh yes. It's not a requirement or whatever but I think it's pretty safe to say most adults are looking to find someone suitable to form a long lasting relationship with.

Obviously, forcing is just because is not a good choice. That's common sense and extends to basically any aspect of life.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Single 25 years and counting. Single not by choice Gaf unite !

Spoiler

please unite

Well what are you doing to fix that? Are you using dating sites? Tinder? Going out to bars, clubs, etc?

Have you considered joining a few hobby groups?

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Well, it is cuffin' season.

 

[Soph]

No need to worry OP, I'm 27 and haven't actually had a serious one either. Still not getting the allure.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Why not?

Because age shapes us. He's still young enough to be naive.

 

[CSJ]

As bad as being lonely is, the experiences I've had in two have really put me off.
But I understand what I experienced isn't the norm, but I also found it claustrophobic - both were too dependent and attached and I couldn't have my own space.

I need my own space, a lot.

It also helps if they aren't sociopaths.

 

[Airola]

I really need to watch this when I get the chance.

Don't, it was terrible.
A horrible attempt at trying to make a Roy Andersson movie.

Spoiler

Watch it anyways, maybe you like it. I didn't, but maybe you do.

 

[faridmon]

Single 25 years and counting. Single not by choice Gaf unite !

Spoiler

please unite

Brofist

 

[bobbytkc]

The mistake you make is that you think people are unhappy in their relationships. While relationships may sour over time, most people are lonely when they are not attached and happier when together with other people.

You should stop projecting yourself onto others op. Other people are just not like you, and you are not necessarily better or worse off than them.

 

[Messofanego]

Being in a relationship for the sake of just not being single is the worst reason to get into a relationship.

Exactly. Don't get into a relationship because you don't want to die alone or you're unhappy and a partner will fix all of that. Sort yourself out first. Get into a relationship because you want to share your life with someone else.

 

[Always-honest]

Because age shapes us. He's still young enough to be naive.

Sure, wisdom comes with age and experience. But i know plenty of older people who are unwise and dumb as fuck and i know young people who are wiser than a lot of older people. I think a lot of this "younger people don't know shit" is a way for older people to feel better about themselves. A lot of people grow wise at an alarming slow pace.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

My friends are all in relationships, even if they refuse to call it that. Most of them are not happy, they are always arguing with their partners and they are unhappy clearly. Everytime I tell them why not leave they say you will understand when you get older. Maybe I do not understand.

Lol, same here. Have two good friends who are engaged to each other and work well together, but many of the other mates of mine (about 4 of them spring to mind quickly) are in relationships where there's constant drama, arguments etc.

Don't get it, to be honest. We're all relatively young (20-22 year olds) and they just stick with it. One recently had an awful breakup with a girl he dated for like 2-3 years and he was generally unhappy with. What a waste of time.

 

[Mailbox]

Because age shapes us. He's still young enough to be naive.

Not quite true. Its more that perspective and understanding shape us. Sure, most of that comes with time, and many don't gain that perspective in their early years, but age isn't the end all be all of that. People can be 40 and still have the OP's naivety.

For reference, I'm only 21, and yet I share none of the OP's sentiments. Mostly due to the fact that I've seen so many of my friends in and out of relationships, I've seen what kind of shit my parents and their friends deal with and I know people in relationships that are happy. My brother is even getting married next year, and I couldn't be happier for him.