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Ashley Madison infidelity site's customer data stolen

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Madrin

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Oct 20, 2004
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Oh wow I am loving the hate here.

The unhappy one in the relationship - the one who is doing the cheating - is somehow always the monster, right?. No blame ever on the one being cheated on, right?

Adult relationships are never so cut and dry as to be black and white. There usually is a hell of a lot of gray in there that can more than justify cheating.

Yes. The other person can be blamed for unhappiness in the relationship, but no one is ever forced to cheat.
 
Jun 9, 2011
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Yes, because you disagree with me you actually stoop to personal attacks. So cute. How about you debate the point?

I was a joke bruh

I disagree completely with your perspective, but that's just me. This kind of thing is too nuanced to really have an overarching opinion on, everyone and every relationship is different. Speaking only for myself, I think your attitude is repulsive and I don't care how juvenile someone wants to say my perspective is, I see the only moral approach to this sort of thing is leaving a relationship you're not happy in and being honest about it. Avoiding the consequences to maintain the other person's mental health or your current financial situation, etc. means you're either a coward or you want to have your cake and eat it too. But again, that's just how I'd look at it, and I'm not going to judge people's personal lives I know nothing about.
 

Cybrwzrd

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You are actually speaking truth. Don't let the purists get to you.

Cheating is bad, sure. But sometimes it happens not just 1 person is a bastard but because there is an issue from both sides in the relationship. Divorce is a traumatic option that isn't always the first choice

It's amazing how strong people's views can be on this subject, even as irrational as they may be. Just a gut reaction of hatred to something they don't understand / know. Sounds like so many other social issues tho.
 
Mar 3, 2011
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It's amazing how strong people's views can be on this subject, even as irrational as they may be. Just a gut reaction of hatred to something they don't understand / know. Sounds like so many other social issues tho.

How is someone objecting to the concept of infidelity irrational?
 

P44

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Sep 21, 2012
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What is a victim of infidelity? Is it the person doing the cheating because of a lack of intimacy in a relationship or is it the person being cheated on due to a lack of intimacy in the relationship? Cheating (and I don't mean on a boyfriend or girlfriend, because that is not real) does not happen in a void. I place as much blame on the cheated on side as on the cheater when a relationship breaks down to the point that one side feels the need for that.

I would have to say that divorce is a hell of a lot harder emotionally and financially on a person than letting a spouse get a little on the side. Let alone what happens to the kids. Divorce creates victims, infidelity just causes butt hurt.

Wrong.

Divorce is merciful compared to the alternatives. What you class as 'Butt-hurt' is a pretty rough fucking ride for the cheated on person. It's more than butthurt. Divorce is far cleaner by comparison, there's a solid position you now have, and there's far less lingering, far less simmering away in your head.

And you cannot give the cheated on side as much blame as the cheater, that's imbecilic. Some blame, for sure, but it's hardly like someone held a gun to the cheaters head and said "FUCK THIS GUY/GIRL, FUCK EM, FUCK EM!" When somebody flicks you, you don't get permission to punch them in the face.
 

SuperBanana

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May 22, 2015
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What is a victim of infidelity? Is it the person doing the cheating because of a lack of intimacy in a relationship or is it the person being cheated on due to a lack of intimacy in the relationship? Cheating (and I don't mean on a boyfriend or girlfriend, because that is not real) does not happen in a void. I place as much blame on the cheated on side as on the cheater when a relationship breaks down to the point that one side feels the need for that.

I would have to say that divorce is a hell of a lot harder emotionally and financially on a person than letting a spouse get a little on the side. Let alone what happens to the kids. Divorce creates victims, infidelity just causes butt hurt.

Divorce means a child can have two parents who are still friends, who can get on well, and who keep a bond of being a parent without a relationship.

Cheating means a break of trust, respect, and dooming a relationship. It means when divorce comes that there will be fighting and legal battles and the child won't have two parents who are friends. That creates a victim.
 

Cybrwzrd

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Divorce means a child can have two parents who are still friends, who can get on well, and who keep a bond of being a parent without a relationship.

Cheating means a break of trust, respect, and dooming a relationship. It means when divorce comes that there will be fighting and legal battles and the child won't have two parents who are friends. That creates a victim.

Really? Do you somehow think that all other kinds of divorces spring from happy couples who can part as friends due to irrevocable differences? Is that what you are implying? That only marriages that end due to partner cheating end badly?

How is someone objecting to the concept of infidelity irrational?

Because if anything it is just sex. There is nothing intrinsically special about sex. Even emotional infidelity is fine. As long as the actual legal - dare I say business contract aspect of a marriage is being upheld, who cares what people do?

And you cannot give the cheated on side as much blame as the cheater, that's imbecilic. Some blame, for sure, but it's hardly like someone held a gun to the cheaters head and said "FUCK THIS GUY/GIRL, FUCK EM, FUCK EM!" When somebody flicks you, you don't get permission to punch them in the face.

So if the cheated on side decides that they don't want sex/intimacy anymore unilaterally, causing the cheater to go elsewhere for basic needs, they don't deserve equal, if not more blame? Do you seriously think that it is always a better option to just get a divorce if that's the case?
 

Alavard

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Feb 24, 2014
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Cheating is bad.

The release of private information (including financial information) is far worse.
 
Mar 3, 2011
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Really? Do you somehow think that all other kinds of divorces spring from happy couples who can part as friends due to irrevocable differences? Is that what you are implying? That only marriages that end due to partner cheating end badly?

Is personal experience factoring into your posts?
 

Branson

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Feb 12, 2009
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Cheating is bad.

The release of private information (including financial information) is far worse.
Agreed. But it's some sort of sweet justice when it happens to idiots like cheaters. No remorse from me. I've been a victim of cheating before. Wrecked me mentally.
 

TheXfactor

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Jul 17, 2013
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wow a few people(very few though) in this thread are actually defending cheating? WOW Gaf has defenders for every thread no matter the subject
 

Mossybrew

Member
Apr 2, 2015
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Cheating is bad.

The release of private information (including financial information) is far worse.

Yep.

AM is also used by a significant number of hotwife/cuckold/swingers fetish couples, where it is consenting adults all around doing their thing. So it's not as simple as CHEATERZ BAD GET WHAT THEY DESERVE.
 
Jun 27, 2010
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Using the posters personal life as a discussion point.

Doesn't seem unreasonable at least partly factor in someone's personal life to understand their position.

Their personal life moulds and informs their position after all. Someone doesn't just wake up one day and decide they'd be happy being a cuckold.
 

Mammoth Jones

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May 5, 2011
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I mean regardless of the site people's personal information was stolen. Nothing about that is justifiable.

Personally I think cheating is scummy. But because I think it's scummy that means it's ok to steal then release someone's data like that? Nah. I can on one hand think cheating is scummy but defend the idea that their data on whatever website they are using to conduct legal activities should be private and not compromised.
 

Hari Seldon

Member
Dec 5, 2008
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One of my emails showed up, as I knew it would.

But I'm not married, and I know I signed up for the site. I wasn't interested in sex, but I wanted to look at profiles... and you have to have an account for that.

Yeah but where you stupid enough to use like your main email to sign up for it?
 

Cybrwzrd

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Is personal experience factoring into your posts?

Why is that relevant?

Anyway, statistically speaking a good chuck (30-60%) of the people in this thread almost universally railing against infidelity, will cheat at some point in their life. Much like that old joke about Baptists in liquor stores not recognizing each other, many people are very unwilling to admit the truth.
 

ApharmdX

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Aug 20, 2014
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Reading this thread and wow. Just wow. Cheating is a simple issue. If you are in a committed relationship, and your partner expects you to be exclusive, then you're exclusive. If you stray, then you're in the wrong. Period. If there are issues and you aren't happy, then end the relationship. If there's abuse, then leave; there are a lot of resources out there. If you want to leave, but you can't afford it, tough luck.

Jesus, the replies in this thread...you are ok with people being victims of identity theft just because they are in stale, boring relationships and want a bit of excitement in their lives?

Kinda. It sucks that some people who are in open relationships will be outed by this data breach. That's different morally than cheating. I don't care about cheating spouses being outed.
 
Mar 3, 2011
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Why is that relevant?

Anyway, statistically speaking a good chuck (30-60%) of the people in this thread almost universally railing against infidelity, will cheat at some point in their life. Much like that old joke about Baptists in liquor stores not recognizing each other, many people are very unwilling to admit the truth.

Because I don't think you're looking at this objectively considering you're arguing that people are being irrational if they disagree with you.
 

atr0cious

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Jan 15, 2014
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Why is that relevant?

Anyway, statistically speaking a good chuck (30-60%) of the people in this thread almost universally railing against infidelity, will cheat at some point in their life. Much like that old joke about Baptists in liquor stores not recognizing each other, many people are very unwilling to admit the truth.
Why are you using fallacies to argue a point? And it's relevant, because "almost universally" only a cheater would think it's ok to cheat on others.
 

KurtSloane

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Jul 22, 2015
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Really? Do you somehow think that all other kinds of divorces spring from happy couples who can part as friends due to irrevocable differences? Is that what you are implying? That only marriages that end due to partner cheating end badly?



Because if anything it is just sex. There is nothing intrinsically special about sex. Even emotional infidelity is fine. As long as the actual legal - dare I say business contract aspect of a marriage is being upheld, who cares what people do?



So if the cheated on side decides that they don't want sex/intimacy anymore unilaterally, causing the cheater to go elsewhere for basic needs, they don't deserve equal, if not more blame? Do you seriously think that it is always a better option to just get a divorce if that's the case?

Marriage is just a business contract, nothing more?

You are entitled to your opinion but it sounds like excuses for behaviour.
 

dantevsninjas

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Feb 27, 2008
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Would you feel the same if members of a child pornography ring were outed?

Well, at least you didn't bring up Hitler? Also, one is illegal, the other is not. Nothing about this comparison is valid.

I don't agree with people littering on the street. I don't agree with that Beyonce makes diverse music.

Cheating on your spouse, deceiving and emotionally abusing them, is not something "you don't agree with". Don't underplay the significance of what it is.

Again, it doesn't matter how you feel about it. It still doesn't make leaking their private information justifiable.
 

Applebite

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Mar 15, 2014
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Because if anything it is just sex. There is nothing intrinsically special about sex. Even emotional infidelity is fine. As long as the actual legal - dare I say business contract aspect of a marriage is being upheld, who cares what people do?
I don't know how you can argue something like this so broadly when it is clearly something that is 100% up to individual couples. I think you would find that the vast majority of people on most parts of the planet are not okay with the idea of their partner making what is believed to be an exclusive relationship, uhm, not exclusive. It's about a breach of trust and consent. And sure, it's rarely all black and white, but if one part cheats because the other is an asshole, then the cheater is still at "fault" for not resorting to other methods (divorce, breakup etc.). Sometimes getting a divorce or a breakup is not easy, but I fail to see how that makes a breach of trust and consent okay.
 

Cybrwzrd

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Sep 29, 2014
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I don't know how you can argue something like this so broadly when it is clearly something that is 100% up to individual couples. I think you would find that the vast majority of people on most parts of the planet are not okay with the idea of their partner making what is believed to be an exclusive relationship, uhm, not exclusive. It's about a breach of trust and consent. And sure, it's rarely all black and white, but if one part cheats because the other is an asshole, then the cheater is still at "fault" for not resorting to other methods (divorce, breakup etc.). Sometimes getting a divorce or a breakup is not easy, but I fail to see how that makes a breach of trust and consent okay.

I think you would be relatively surprised at how much your views on marriage are based solely on your own cultural lens.

Go ahead and google Indian or Chinese views on infidelity. Those two countries are a very large chunk of the global population. What you see may surprise you...
 

brotherbean

Member
Jul 24, 2012
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I wonder if any politicians are going to be brought down by this.

At one point I'd heard that the site didn't use any sort of email verification so it'd be entirely possible (likely, even) that several famous people's email addresses were used to sign up for accounts. I don't know if that's true, but if so I could see it being used as a perfectly valid defense if anyone got brought into the discussion.
 
Mar 3, 2011
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I think you would be relatively surprised at how much your views on marriage are based solely on your own cultural lens.

Go ahead and google Indian or Chinese views on infidelity. Those two countries are a very large chunk of the global population. What you see may surprise you...

Why don't you provide your own cited examples instead of having us make the argument for you?
 

Applebite

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Mar 15, 2014
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I think you would be relatively surprised at how much your views on marriage are based solely on your own cultural lens.

Go ahead and google Indian or Chinese views on infidelity. Those two countries are a very large chunk of the global population. What you see may surprise you...
Fine, whatever, I'm sure my views are rooted in in my upbringing and my surrounding culture. You still haven't explained what that has to do with a website which I assume is mostly used by westerners. For THE USERS OF THE SITE IN QUESTION, marriage and relationships are rooted in trust. Cheating is a breach of that trust. Can you please explain how that is okay without saying "Well, in certain cultures, it would totally be a-ok!"?
 

timetokill

Banned
Oct 19, 2004
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https://ashleymadisonleakeddata.com/

Punch in the email and well, just pray that your spouse/partner/work friend/your email isn't on it.

Huh. My email didn't show up on there, despite the fact that I used to get emails from AshleyMadison all the time. edit: I guess they deleted the account though since I haven't gotten one since 2012

Apparently the person who signed up using my email lives in the Grand Rapids area and named themselves, "howmayiserve"

lol
 

Dr.Acula

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May 12, 2006
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Huh. My email didn't show up on there, despite the fact that I get emails from AshleyMadison all the time.

Apparently the person who signed up using my email lives in the Grand Rapids area and named themselves, "howmayiserve"

lol

I misread that as "how is my serve" and thought it was a fancy tennis guy. But nope, domination stuff.
 

Cybrwzrd

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Why don't you provide your own cited examples instead of having us make the argument for you?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity#Cultural_variation
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...ity-not-a-sin-Survey/articleshow/44353938.cms
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/20...unity-infidelity-comes-to-japan/#.VdTWU_lViko
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/02/04/inside-china-s-mistress-industrial-complex.html

Fine, whatever, I'm sure my views are rooted in in my upbringing and my surrounding culture. You still haven't explained what that has to do with a website which I assume is mostly used by westerners. For THE USERS OF THE SITE IN QUESTION, marriage and relationships are rooted in trust. Cheating is a breach of that trust. Can you please explain how that is okay without saying "Well, in certain cultures, it would totally be a-ok!"?

Sorry but - http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/11/business/infidelity-ashley-madison-asia/
 

Krauser Kat

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Dec 28, 2009
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There are so many ways that people break trust in a relationship but get over the fact. I dont understand why some many people get so hung up the sex part.

If a wife or partner just stop wanting to have sex, that should be ground for divorce, with them at fault and have them pay for the whole. Fuck those people, even if its medical and they refuse to let the partner fulfill a huge part of themselves.

Getting fucked and being wanted are something everyone deserves, and if your partner cannot or will not fulfill that. fuck them. They deserve to be cheated on.

The partner can still be a great person and you can love them. They cannot deny you that. Divorce is financially terrible for both parties. A little something on the side to keep an otherwise great marriage together is cheaper and better in the long run until your dick or pussy is useless.

of course all of this predicated that all relationships should work through problems if possible before resorting to gamesharking their relationship.
 

Llyranor

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May 17, 2006
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Guys guys, you don't get it! If one of the parties in a committed exclusive relationship is sexually/emotionally unsatisfied, then it is because of their partner being unable to provide for them. Solutions like proper communication or separation or discussing an open relationship is just victim-blaming. Cheating is victimless and perfectly legal, so cheat away!
 
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