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Asking A Girl Out Via Text?

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Erekiddo

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Feb 7, 2006
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There's a girl at my work that's somewhat of a new hire (less than 2 years) who has been talking to me more than usual lately. She's been friendly to me in person and lately has found more and more reasons to come to my desk for things.

I know dating at work is usually frowned upon, this thread isn't about that. Please keep the "don't shit where you eat" out of this topic, if possible. I'm aware of the risks.

I initially added her on Facebook and she added me back and had resorted to communicating with me through there on messenger. This lasted for about a week, until I was sick of the FB Messenger app and asked for her phone number. She gave it to me and we switched to that.

We've been talking in person (when we can) and through text ever since - and I'm at the point where I'd like to ask her out on a date but the only immediate way to do this is through a text. Is texting a girl to ask for an outing an acceptable way of things nowadays? Is it off-putting to the female recipient or make me look weak?

Our shift, breaks and lunches are extremely staggered - and I'm not going to approach her at her desk or the break room to ask this in front of other co-workers.

Experience on this, GAF?
 

potatohead

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Aug 2, 2015
7,306
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280
Girls don't find me sexy enough so I wouldn't know

*sadface*

I say do it in a sexy elaborate and elaborately sexy e-mail.
 

GoldenEye 007

Member
Jul 28, 2006
23,811
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Uh, I've done it before with varying degrees of success. But work? Sure ask someone if you're not that concerned.

Text is a hell of a paper trail for HR, though...
 

PreFire

Member
Oct 2, 2014
2,570
1
360
If you don't want to call her..

A "Hey. what you doing later, let's grab something to eat" text would do the trick.

You guys already seem to know each other. I'm sure she'd be up for a meal together. You take it from there.

Good luck
 

213372bu

Banned
Dec 11, 2013
6,326
0
350
Just say it in a normal conversation.

"Do you want to get coffee aftwerwards?"

Sounds so much less forced, it doesn't cause unnecessary awkwardness, and is the best way to handle it in general.

You also get to tell if someone genuinely wants to do anything with you without having to worry about intention through text.

It's just so much easier.

Edit: And I know you think it might be awkward to go up to her, but just say it when you see her naturally.
 

John Rabbit

Banned
Aug 31, 2009
10,282
1
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Phoenix, AZ
www.podcast198x.com
Uh, I've done it before with varying degrees of success. But work? Sure ask someone if you're not that concerned.

Text is a hell of a paper trail for HR, though...
this is an excellent point, but if you don't work on the same team/in the same department then go for it. you could even work the schedule mismatch into your approach:

"Hey, I never get a chance to really talk to you at work, would you like to grab a bite later?"
 

Mr-Joker

Banned
Mar 7, 2013
14,983
2
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In space
I have done it before, while nothing came out of it the girl liked it and called me sweet.

There's nothing wrong in asking a girl out via text.
 

Mass Effect

Member
Apr 24, 2011
11,120
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I think it would be fine. Might as well if you really can't ask in person.

Girls don't find me sexy enough so I wouldn't know

*sadface*

I say do it in a sexy elaborate and elaborately sexy e-mail.
There's always one in these kinds of threads...

:( don't be so down on yourself
 

Shaanyboi

Banned
Nov 16, 2012
35,973
2
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Vancouver
I think a text is an inherently casual kinda thing. Asking someone out to coffee or something. I think once you're there, then ask if she wants to dinner some time or something. I dunno. There's no rule on this sorta thing, everyone views it kinda differently.
 

anarckitty

Member
Jul 22, 2011
3,755
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490
Jawjuh
Do it man. I asked one of my guy friends if he'd like to take me out some time via text.

A year and 2 months later we got married. We've been married for over 5 years, have a three year old daughter, and are expecting a son in December.
 

Machina

Banned
Jun 11, 2015
6,610
3
0
My friend refuses to call and texts girls 100% of the time.

He is by far the most successful with women out our entire circle, and can date or fuck any girl he chooses. Get with the times grandpa. :p
Does he look like he wouldn't look out of place in One Direction?
 

Ultima_5

Member
Jun 3, 2009
11,547
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890
Idk I normally do it. Just make sure to call it a date and not say hang out or something. And have a plan on where to go.

Note. This is how most people in their twenties ask people out I'm sure.
 

Kalamari

Member
Jul 31, 2012
6,956
17
510
The Great Northwest
It's fair game I think, nothing wrong with it. If she says no, you have enough time to come up with a proper response, rather than being put on the spot when asking in person or over the phone. My favorite response when rejected is "haha, I was only kidding."
 

Ultima_5

Member
Jun 3, 2009
11,547
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890
It's fair game I think, nothing wrong with it. If she says no, you have enough time to come up with a proper response, rather than being put on the spot when asking in person or over the phone. My favorite response when rejected is "haha, I was only kidding."
Woah. Idk if I'd respond to that.

I've been luckily lately. Normally I just text the girl for awhile and they get tired of waiting and ask when I'm free

When I intitate I just wait til theyve been responding relatively quickly for a string of text and just say "hey we should do a date soon. You like sushi?"
 

Faustek

Member
Apr 25, 2013
6,166
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425
Sweden
Ring ring: Hi <girl>, feel like having fun at the <your spot> this Friday?
Or just text her. For your own sake and hers just ask her out in the way that is closest at hand. If you haven't texted her today and you see her tomorrow ask her out again then.
You will not be beaten just for asking.
 

Dennis

Banned
Jul 7, 2009
46,556
1
0
Do it!


Just cross your fingers she isn't one of the crazy ones when you think it won't work out and try to break it off by text.








 

Rodin

Member
Mar 12, 2015
4,716
0
0
If you don't want to call her..

A "Hey. what you doing later, let's grab something to eat" text would do the trick.

You guys already seem to know each other. I'm sure she'd be up for a meal together. You take it from there.

Good luck
Yeah this is good if you want to do it via text.

Do it!


Just cross your fingers she isn't one of the crazy ones when you think it won't work out and try to break it off by text.


*crazy texts*
Oh my god i'm crying
 

Iolo

Member
Jul 14, 2013
5,430
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At first I was like tl;dr to the crazy texts, but then I read it, and she might have some good points.

OP said:
Is it off-putting to the female recipient
Also I read this in the most robotic voice possible.
 

Yoshichan

And they made him a Lord of Cinder. Not for virtue, but for might. Such is a lord, I suppose. But here I ask. Do we have a sodding chance?
Sep 1, 2006
58,665
228
1,495
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Of course Dennis shows up and completely demolishes everything :lol
 
Jun 24, 2014
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Uh, I've done it before with varying degrees of success. But work? Sure ask someone if you're not that concerned.

Text is a hell of a paper trail for HR, though...
Guy at work was asked to resign by HR based entirely on an IM he sent to a co-worker asking her out. She turned him down and 2 years later when she didn't get a promotion, she blamed him and used it as proof. He didn't fight it because wtf, and the company paid him off pretty well to basically sweep it under the rug.

Do it man. I asked one of my guy friends if he'd like to take me out some time via text.

A year and 2 months later we got married. We've been married for over 5 years, have a three year old daughter, and are expecting a son in December.
THIS COULD BE YOU OP!
 

sakuori

Member
Sep 2, 2014
453
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Do it!


Just cross your fingers she isn't one of the crazy ones when you think it won't work out and try to break it off by text.


*images*
Damn I remember the thread for this. Pretty insane lol

Anyway, OP. It's fine.
The guy I go out with texts me or gives a message via Facebook when he asks.
 

Exr

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Oct 1, 2008
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Ask her out in person man come on. Never ask people out through texts, its cringey asking people out over texts.
 

Dali

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Jan 2, 2007
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I think text is perfectly acceptable for something like asking someone out nowadays. Like everything we do is text now. Still I'd reserve heavy stuff like deaths and breakups for something else, but asking someone out? Text is fine.
 

dralla

Member
Apr 6, 2007
12,179
0
0
Yea man, just do it. Doesn't matter how you ask. If she wants to go out with you she'll say yes regardless
 
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