Hahaha.The people at Hutzler claim the following regarding the Banana Slicer 571:
1) Faster, safer than using a knife
2) Great for cereal
3) Plastic, dishwasher safe
4) Slice your banana with one quick motion
5) Kids love slicing their own bananas
While several of these are true, I'd like to call attention to number 2, "great for cereal." This is completely moronic. I have been trying to eat my cereal with this for several hours now, and have gotten NO WHERE.
Infomercial people would end up in violent, messy deaths like you have never seen.Using a knife is to complicated now?
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.