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Cracked: 3 Mistakes Women Make When Dealing With Men

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Jonm1010

Banned
You seem to have already assigned personality types to promiscuous person X and committed person Y...

No my entire point was that i find it hard to believe that red flags wouldn't go up for a person who is actually considering some girl for a relationship that sleeps around, brags about it, and has done it for a long time.

Also, what Black Mamba said:

I don't think anyone has to "slow down."

I just think the dude is saying, the chick whose slept with 50 dudes in 5 years and has had no long term relationships is far less likely to be long-term relationship material than the chick who has been with 5 guys in 5 years and say two dudes for 2 years.

I'll agree with the loyalty part, though. Don't think either says anything about loyalty. But commitment? I'd bet the house on a strong correlation.

It's a signal about the person's personality, desires, etc. And above should be chick or dude. Works both ways, of course. No guarantee, but a probability.
Perfectly sums up the thoughts I poorly tried to write out and failed to achieve with far too many paragraphs and posts.
 
D9d6l.png


It's that fucking simple.
 

Apath

Member
[ur]http://i.imgur.com/D9d6l.png[/url]

It's that fucking simple.
Yeah, I did say it could be by society's design. I like how you assume that that is the only possible reason though. Is there anything you can use to back that up? Because I can think of several different factors that would explain why it's more difficult for a man to get sex compared to a woman outside of society's doings, namely biological.
 

Al-ibn Kermit

Junior Member
^Bashing a woman for having desire for sex.

My advice.

Don't play games and be who you are.
This only works when courting people with some decency and brains, but is the thing one wants from a person in a relationship.

A lot of people start flirting before they really know what the other person is like. It's easy to roll along with that and send hints that you don't just want to jump into a game of BSing but most people don't have that much confidence.
 
I don't think anyone has to "slow down."

I just think the dude is saying, the chick whose slept with 50 dudes in 5 years and has had no long term relationships is far less likely to be long-term relationship material than the chick who has been with 5 guys in 5 years and say two dudes for 2 years.

I'll agree with the loyalty part, though. Don't think either says anything about loyalty. But commitment? I'd bet the house on a strong correlation.

It's a signal about the person's personality, desires, etc. And above should be chick or dude. Works both ways, of course. No guarantee, but a probability.
This is a false dichotomy. In addition, the hypothetical personas are contextual and fluid. I don't evaluate a person based on a list of relationship stats because it's likely I don't initially have access and I communicate with them face-to-face.

What I contend is the false projection of one individual's value system and bias to "99% of people" making the same decision on a highly improbable and hypothetical comparison.
 
This is a false dichotomy. In addition, the hypothetical personas are contextual and fluid. I don't evaluate a person based on a list of relationship stats because it's likely I don't initially have access and I communicate with them face-to-face.

Well, it's not a real false dichotomy because that hypothetical is hyperbolic merely for argument's sake, not to be an actual choice.

Of course there are a lot of things that go into whether it's worth your time to pursue a potential relationship, from attractiveness to chemistry, etc.

Which is why I said it's part of the Signal and Call game. No one is saying to write down the probabilities but you don't have to, your mind has its own way of calculating these things subconsciously and quite quickly (although we will ignore it at times). And for others, they're not very adept at reading signals to begin with.

I just think its naive to believe a person's promiscuity doesn't factor into to such decisions for certain people (again, not all).


Speaking of access to information, there are plenty of times you can have access (mutual acquaintance) or they'll straight up tell you. I don't know how often mathematically this occurs, but it does.

What I contend is the false projection of one individual's value system and bias to "99% of people" making the same decision on a highly improbable and hypothetical comparison.

Oh, I'm not arguing everyone would react the same way. For one, many men and women rather be with a woman who has played the field more. Some people are convinced they can change others (whether right or wrong). Others can't process information. All these things are common.

I'm just saying that it's a signal. No different than finding out someone is a serial cheater. Wouldn't you factor that into your thinking of pursuing a relationship? Again, it doesn't mean you wouldn't pursue one, but it would play a part. How much depends on the individual person.


edit: To clarify I don't think any of this is wrong (regarding how many partners one has). That's personal and no one should be looked down upon for number of partners. I'm simply arguing such information can be a signal as to the type of partner one would be, relationship-wise. And not a guarantee.
 
I guess it's ok to say nasty things about women if you attribute them to 'what people around me say'?
This is the equivalent of saying you have a black friend as you spout racist propaganda.

The fuck is...

Anyways, I don't think that cycle necessarily works. Men have to work for sex because of their role as the pursuer.

As it stands, a good (great) number of women are approached rather than doing the approaching. The guy then has to present himself, etc.

As the approached, women now merely decide. If it's a proposition for a relationship, both sides are getting to know each other. If it's a proposition for sex, your personality hardly matters. In the latter case, women end up choosing whether they want to have sex, and the guys have to work harder in that case. Because the guy pursues.

Before we say "if the woman approached for sex, they would be labeled a slut," let me note that the relationship scenario still exists. If they were to approach for relationships equally to men, I'm sure that the other scenario would be seen as just as normal. Can't have one and not the other... or something.

Now. Back to why some especially promiscuous women aren't respected by some men (courtesy of friends' examples - both male and female)

- Putting guys's hands on their bodies: ass, boobs... in an attempt to seduce them
The male equivalent of this would not be praised, for the record, they would be called a douchebag

- Having sex with drunk strangers when they knock on your door

- Using sex to get things
Fraiser example - guys don't use sex to get what they want - sex is what they want

- Having sex with a teacher for a grade

Reminds me - one of my female friends was praised for being a virgin by other female friends because "guys have tried." I feel like other girls slut-shame WAY more than guys. I tried to interject with "girls can like sex just as much as guys," but that statement was ignored. In a way, a virgin girl is different from a virgin guy, especially if both are attractive. With a virgin guy, something probably went wrong. Virgin girl? Conscious choice.

Wait, that cycle definitely doesn't work - how does guys having to work for sex lead to slut-shaming women, at all? What guy is going to say "because I had to work for it, she's a slut"? Unless I'm totally misunderstanding.
 
Oh, I've also heard that women have a limited amount of eggs while men have unlimited sperm. This doesn't matter outside of making children, like, at all, but this could speak to the biological blocks Kenak was mentioning.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
The fuck is...

Anyways, I don't think that cycle necessarily works. Men have to work for sex because of their role as the pursuer.

As it stands, a good (great) number of women are approached rather than doing the approaching. The guy then has to present himself, etc.

As the approached, women now merely decide. If it's a proposition for a relationship, both sides are getting to know each other. If it's a proposition for sex, your personality hardly matters. In the latter case, women end up choosing whether they want to have sex, and the guys have to work harder in that case. Because the guy pursues.


Before we say "if the woman approached for sex, they would be labeled a slut," let me note that the relationship scenario still exists. If they were to approach for relationships equally to men, I'm sure that the other scenario would be seen as just as normal. Can't have one and not the other... or something.
Yo

Who taught you this? And please tell me that you didn't pay them money.

Women are not some foreign creatures that live beneath the Earth's crust that we have to entice with flowers and money and on top of that your idea of roles to be played are very... out of touch to say the least. Men don't choose to have sex? Women don't proposition? Guys always take the lead? Women don't work hard to get the guys they want?
Oh, I've also heard that women have a limited amount of eggs while men have unlimited sperm. This doesn't matter outside of making children, like, at all, but this could speak to the biological blocks Kenak was mentioning.

Biologic blocks are indeed there and all that good stuff - but some people are simply insecure. That happens too.
 
I don't think it means anything besides men have a higher sex drive for that reason. It is indeed silly to mention, but I saw Kenak's comment about biological reasons. And that may be one.

You're stipulating biological urges to procreate when we are going out of our way to fuck and not procreate. That is why evopsych arguments are stupid.
 
The fuck is...

Anyways, I don't think that cycle necessarily works. Men have to work for sex because of their role as the pursuer.

Attractive and/or successful people work less for sex, not women (with exceptions, of course).

You just have it in your head that women have an easier time getting sex because all the women in your head are attractive and/or successful. No offense.
 
Yo

Who taught you this? And please tell me that you didn't pay them money.

Women are not some foreign creatures that live beneath the Earth's crust that we have to entice with flowers and money and on top of that your idea of roles to be played are very... out of touch to say the least. Men don't choose to have sex? Women don't proposition? Guys always take the lead? Women don't work hard to get the guys they want?

Men do choose to have sex, but that's taking what I said in a different order than intended.

- Men approach women to proposition sex (yes, most of the time) > Man has already decided he wants to have sex > Woman decides whether or not this is going to happen

Many guys can't just sit on a couch at a party and get approached and laid. Women can. Again, the advice in Dating-Age - confidence, exercise, etc. If a woman looks good, she can sit there and she will remain attractive. Even if she isn't looking at anyone. Not so for a guy.

Biologic blocks are indeed there and all that good stuff - but some people are simply insecure. That happens too.

This is also true - it was an offhanded note towards what Kenak mentioned.
 

squidyj

Member
Yo

Who taught you this? And please tell me that you didn't pay them money.

Women are not some foreign creatures that live beneath the Earth's crust that we have to entice with flowers and money and on top of that your idea of roles to be played are very... out of touch to say the least. Men don't choose to have sex? Women don't proposition? Guys always take the lead? Women don't work hard to get the guys they want?


Biologic blocks are indeed there and all that good stuff - but some people are simply insecure. That happens too.

Are.... are you saying they live in the sky?
 

Apath

Member
Oh, I've also heard that women have a limited amount of eggs while men have unlimited sperm. This doesn't matter outside of making children, like, at all, but this could speak to the biological blocks Kenak was mentioning.
That's part of it. I also believe the stigma of being labeled promiscuous as a women is a definitely a part of it. You also need to evaluate what's looked for in a partner depending on gender. The unlimited sperm and limited eggs plays into, I guess, evolutionary factors. It's a positive for a male to reproduce with as many females as possible, while the female needs to look for the best mate possible because pregnancy means nine months + years of commitment. I wonder whether women will be more likely or not to pursue a serious relationship and if the biological clock could also play a part of it.

The point is that there are numerous factors that can play in, and I believe choosing one as the de-facto reason without at least some statistics or evidence is questionable.
 
Men do choose to have sex, but that's taking what I said in a different order than intended.

- Men approach women to proposition sex (yes, most of the time) > Man has already decided he wants to have sex > Woman decides whether or not this is going to happen

Many guys can't just sit on a couch at a party and get approached and laid. Women can. Again, the advice in Dating-Age - confidence, exercise, etc. If a woman looks good, she can sit there and she will remain attractive. Even if she isn't looking at anyone. Not so for a guy.

This. is. so. wrong.
 

Satch

Banned
Many guys can't just sit on a couch at a party and get approached and laid. Women can. Again, the advice in Dating-Age - confidence, exercise, etc. If a woman looks good, she can sit there and she will remain attractive. Even if she isn't looking at anyone. Not so for a guy.

WTF this is completely ridiculous.

yo what are they teaching you in dating age
 
You're stipulating biological urges to procreate when we are going out of our way to fuck and not procreate. That is why evopsych arguments are stupid.

I already said that it means nothing unless you're trying to have kids. I was using an (admittedly shitty) excuse that I've heard guys use, but to explain something entirely different (greater sex drive).

Attractive and/or successful people work less for sex, not women (with exceptions, of course).

You just have it in your head that women have an easier time getting sex because all the women in your head are attractive and/or successful. No offense.

Women don't even have to be successful, to be fair. But yes, I am taking the women in question to be attractive, but the same goes for the men. Or hell, even unattractive women.

Which reminds me - anecdote time:
I was at a hotel with some people from my club - I had to sleep on a bed with another guy, and next to us was a bed of girls. During their conversation, one of them mentioned that she was a virgin. All the girls one the bed with her were telling her how easy it is to get laid, and how REALLY EASY it is to get laid. Only one was attractive... this is IMO, anyways.

Girls don't have to do much at all to get laid. But again, higher sex drive for guys. As I've mentioned before, my friend got me and other friends out of paying for something my seducing a guy. Putting his hands on her body and such...
 
I already said that it means nothing unless you're trying to have kids. I was using an (admittedly shitty) excuse that I've heard guys use, but to explain something entirely different (greater sex drive).



Women don't even have to be successful, to be fair. But yes, I am taking the women in question to be attractive, but the same goes for the men. Or hell, even unattractive women.

Which reminds me - anecdote time:


Girls don't have to do much at all to get laid. But again, higher sex drive for guys. As I've mentioned before, my friend got me and other friends out of paying for something my seducing a guy. Putting his hands on her body and such...

Stop projecting your desperate desire for sex into the idea that women are constantly getting propositioned by men. It doesn't happen like you think it does. And if you think that an attractive woman asking a man is an automatic "yes" from any man, you have some growing up to do.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Men do choose to have sex, but that's taking what I said in a different order than intended.

- Men approach women to proposition sex (yes, most of the time) > Man has already decided he wants to have sex > Woman decides whether or not this is going to happen

Many guys can't just sit on a couch at a party and get approached and laid. Women can. Again, the advice in Dating-Age - confidence, exercise, etc. If a woman looks good, she can sit there and she will remain attractive. Even if she isn't looking at anyone. Not so for a guy.
You're thinking that this is all a lot more one-sided than it is.

A guy can post up at a bar and get approached by women the same way that your attractive woman can sit down on a coach at house party and get approached by men. It wouldn't even say "most of the time" either. Its damn near the same for both parties.

Men as a whole aren't that desperate and women aren't playing with that big of a advantage either. That's a huge problem with Dating-age. The atmosphere in that thread is just thick with that kind of shit because of all of the people with the same basic issue telling the same story in a dozen different ways.
 
This. is. so. wrong.

WTF this is completely ridiculous.

yo what are they teaching you in dating age

Joker must think women are propositioned like every time we leave the house.

No. No I don't.

But again, I'm in college, so this is my experience thus far. These are things that I hear from guys and girls alike. I'm not ignorant - I've absolutely tried to say things back. But they always have their responses too. I'm trying to learn something, hence my plea of ignorance at the beginning.

Anyways, in regards to the earlier statement - when can a guy be sitting alone on a couch at a party and get approached...?

I need to find that study... where the attractive man and woman walked around a campus propositioning for sex. Woman got 50% positive replies, man got none. Women get the "how you doing" on buses and stuff - rarely will a guy hear that out loud.

My friend ended up asking this girl to prom because her friends told him that she liked him. She didn't do shit herself. She was asked. Again, maybe I live in a completely different world form you guys because this stuff isn't even bullshit I'm making up - it's observations.
 
I already said that it means nothing unless you're trying to have kids. I was using an (admittedly shitty) excuse that I've heard guys use, but to explain something entirely different (greater sex drive).



Women don't even have to be successful, to be fair. But yes, I am taking the women in question to be attractive, but the same goes for the men. Or hell, even unattractive women.

Which reminds me - anecdote time:


Girls don't have to do much at all to get laid. But again, higher sex drive for guys. As I've mentioned before, my friend got me and other friends out of paying for something my seducing a guy. Putting his hands on her body and such...

It's not hard for most people to get laid if that's all you're looking for. Guys and girls. Almost any guy can go get laid pretty easily (not paying for it) but they don't because even guys have their own standards they want to meet.

And your anecdote sounds more young, say college-ish, when hormones are much bigger drivers so standards, often for both sides, drop.

Most anyone can get laid easily if that's what they want and both sides get approached.


But again, I'm in college, so this is my experience thus far.

Well, that's that.

You have a lot of experience ahead of you.
 

Apath

Member
I need to find that study... where the attractive man and woman walked around a campus propositioning for sex. Woman got 50% positive replies, man got none. Women get the "how you doing" on buses and stuff - rarely will a guy hear that out loud.
I posted it on the previous page. Someone quoted it above. I don't think it has anything to do with your premise that men never get approached.
 
Even my female friends agree with this.

THANK YOU. Mine too.

Stop projecting your desperate desire for sex into the idea that women are constantly getting propositioned by men. It doesn't happen like you think it does. And if you think that an attractive woman asking a man is an automatic "yes" from any man, you have some growing up to do.

Again, the study I just said. But again, I'm in college, Devo. This is literally how it goes. I asked the guys nearest to me about that female rapist topic. They would not have found it problematic at all. This is the world I live in, right now.

And fuck yes there are extremely desperate guys who are older, too

You're thinking that this is all a lot more one-sided than it is.

A guy can post up at a bar and get approached by women the same way that your attractive woman can sit down on a coach at house party and get approached by men. It wouldn't even say "most of the time" either. Its damn near the same for both parties.

Men as a whole aren't that desperate and women aren't playing with that big of a advantage either. That's a huge problem with Dating-age. The atmosphere in that thread is just thick with that kind of shit because of all of the people with the same basic issue telling the same story in a dozen different ways.

http://www.elainehatfield.com/79.pdf
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/gender-differences-and-casual-sex-the-new-research/

I disagree. Either way, a bar is an entirely different example. Even so, it's doubtful the numbers are the same.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Enjoy college, dude.

Just don't think you're playing from behind. And don't equate approaching someone with a sexual proposition.
 

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
Have you actually been in a relationship? Because women play hard to get and constantly test you even when they are in a relationship.

yeah, I was but they tested me in some other ways. Anyway since I'm usually don't give a fuck my relationships last 6 months TOPS.
 
I posted it on the previous page. Someone quoted it above. I don't think it has anything to do with your premise that men never get approached.

Maybe I'm bad at conveying ideas through text - I never said the bolded. I said that men are less likely to be approached than women are.

It's not hard for most people to get laid if that's all you're looking for. Guys and girls. Almost any guy can go get laid pretty easily (not paying for it) but they don't because even guys have their own standards they want to meet.

And your anecdote sounds more young, say college-ish, when hormones are much bigger drivers so standards, often for both sides, drop.

Most anyone can get laid easily if that's what they want and both sides get approached.

Well, that's that.

You have a lot of experience ahead of you.

True enough on the standards bit. Women are definitely approached more often, at any rate.

And the PUA stuff that men have... barely exists for women (at least not the evil parts thank God). Men have "day game" and "spitting game," based on trying to attract a woman. Women have... being a woman.

My point here is that women are approached way more often, simply on the basis of being attractive. Because guys want to have sex. Testosterone makes the sex drive greater...

Not saying women do not want to, or don't approach. But that's a kind of maturity that I do not see here.

At any rate, it appears to be a waste of time trying to understand college girls from this topic. It appears there's a huge difference. So then lies the question - what's the point of espousing these more mature views at the college level?
 
THANK YOU. Mine too.



Again, the study I just said. But again, I'm in college, Devo. This is literally how it goes. I asked the guys nearest to me about that female rapist topic. They would not have found it problematic at all. This is the world I live in, right now.

And fuck yes there are extremely desperate guys who are older, too



http://www.elainehatfield.com/79.pdf
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/gender-differences-and-casual-sex-the-new-research/

I disagree. Either way, a bar is an entirely different example. Even so, it's doubtful the numbers are the same.

That study is on campus during the day. This isn't at a party or a bar. And it's very blunt.

I'm more than willing to concede that women are highly less likely to accept a proposal for sex in broad daylight at random. But this has to do with many factors unrelated to sex drive.


Women have... being a woman.

Please. You need more confidence in yourself if you can't turn down an attractive woman.
 
Enjoy college, dude.

Just don't think you're playing from behind. And don't equate approaching someone with a sexual proposition.

Although this is also true. I'm hardly attracted sexually to the girls I talk to (despite them being sexually attractive). It's just something you do at parties. I really never had an end goal... hm.
 
That study is on campus during the day. This isn't at a party or a bar. And it's very blunt.

I'm more than willing to concede that women are highly less likely to accept a proposal for sex in broad daylight at random. But this has to do with many factors unrelated to sex drive.

Mm. Duly noted - I can accept that.
 

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
"Does this make me look fat?"
"Do you think my friend is attractive?"
"What do you think of my mother?"

lol dude, it's not a test. How about spending time with her friends whom you hate personally? Going to places you don't like? Constantly showing THAT YOU CARE? Or showing how jealous you are by driving off this 6-feet dude she flirts with?
 
And men, to be fair. BUT I just want to see what GAF thinks. I'm waiting for two people in particular to show up...
Who?

It would certainly be a fun ride, but I wouldn't purchase it.
Ah, this kind of wordplay, such as "ho to housewife" and the door and key bullshit, how fun they are.

And it might not be empowering but it's so much damn fun who the fuck cares. Yeah we have it easier to get laid, I don't see how promiscuity "ruins" a woman.
 

You and Devo. But you already knew that.

Ah, this kind of wordplay, such as "ho to housewife" and the door and key bullshit, how fun they are.

Never heard the first one before, the second one makes no sense.

And it might not be empowering but it's so much damn fun who the fuck cares. Yeah we have it easier to get laid, I don't see how promiscuity "ruins" a woman.

Didn't say it ruined a woman, but thank you for noting the bolded. At the very least I'm not (that) insane.

The notion was that guys are given respect for being promiscuous because it's more difficult. I already stated earlier that this wasn't a reason for slut-shaming.
 
You're thinking that this is all a lot more one-sided than it is.

A guy can post up at a bar and get approached by women the same way that your attractive woman can sit down on a coach at house party and get approached by men. It wouldn't even say "most of the time" either. Its damn near the same for both parties.

Men as a whole aren't that desperate and women aren't playing with that big of a advantage either. That's a huge problem with Dating-age. The atmosphere in that thread is just thick with that kind of shit because of all of the people with the same basic issue telling the same story in a dozen different ways.

I'd say this is nonsense, most women will create an opening through body language but very little more. If you've had different experiences you must be in a very different culture (like Brazil, where it's different) but in the English speaking west thats the way it goes. Approaching shows a lot of confidence so it's worth doing in any case.
 

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
I'd say this is nonsense, most women will create an opening through body language but very little more. If you've had different experiences you must be in a very different culture (like Brazil, where it's different) but in the English speaking west thats the way it goes. Approaching shows a lot of confidence so it's worth doing in any case.

different in what way?
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
I'd say this is nonsense, most women will create an opening through body language but very little more. If you've had different experiences you must be in a very different culture (like Brazil, where it's different) but in the English speaking west thats the way it goes. Approaching shows a lot of confidence so it's worth doing in any case.
I'd say that my sailor moon shirts show that i'm easily approachable

body language works both ways
 
I'd say this is nonsense, most women will create an opening through body language but very little more. If you've had different experiences you must be in a very different culture (like Brazil, where it's different) but in the English speaking west thats the way it goes. Approaching shows a lot of confidence so it's worth doing in any case.

Dy is American. As am I. and I've been approached numerous times at places.

Yes, guys approach women more often here; it's our culture. But to say it's nonsense that men get approached too? please.


I'd say that my sailor moon shirts show that i'm easily approachable

lol.
 
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