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Crisis on Infinite Earths is boring as hell... (aka DC is terrible)

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Gio_CoD

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Feb 16, 2005
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I've heard about this "epic" story for years now, but I had never had the chance to read it. Admittedly, I'm not very familiar with the DC universe because I grew up reading Marvel comics, but I thought, if anything, the level of critical acclaim for the book would help me get into DC comics.

Wrong.

This book sucks. For starters, aside from Superman, Batman, and possibly Green Lantern, DC has the worst superheroes I've ever seen. Uncle Sam? Is this guy for real? Did DC really have a comic about a guy dressed up like Uncle Sam? I know somebody is going to come back with "Captain America is basically the same thing..." so I just want to go ahead and agree with them and say that I think Captain America is nearly as ridiculous as Uncle Sam. But at least Captain America doesn't have a top hat for Christ's sake. Then we've got Wildcat. This guy has a mask on his face that includes the jowel-snout-thing with whiskers and everything of a puma. He looks RIDICULOUS. And he's not even the stupidest looking guy. That award would have to go to Psimon. As for other winners:

Worst power - Uncle Sam. What the hell is his power other than making the reader laugh at the sheer absurdity of the character's existence?

Worst name - Psycho-Pirate. Or possibly any of the X-Lad variations. Like Aqua Lad. Super Lad. Etc...

Worst villain - Psimon. He just looks stupid as hell, and the fact that he can't stop mentioning his psionic powers and referring to himself in the third person only cements his victory in this category.

Worst superhero - I think Uncle Sam might take this one again. I can't get over how stupid he is.

I'm trying to force myself through this piece of shit, and I'm about three quarters done, but I actually fell asleep last night trying to read it. You know how people exaggerate and say "Such and such is so boring that I fell asleep..." but they aren't really serious? Well, I actually fell asleep reading this book last night. It's so boring and horrible. And I've never felt so emotionally detached from the characters in any book. I hope every single one of them dies.

So I don't know if DC got better later on, but I think I know why Marvel stomped the shit out of them throughout the eighties and early 90s.
 

8bit

Knows the Score
Jun 7, 2004
12,896
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If you want something to get you into the DC Universe, try New Frontier or Kingdom Come. Crisis was enjoyable in serial form 20 years ago, but hasn't aged that well as a collection and is probably the worst place to start.

--

 

Gio_CoD

Banned
Feb 16, 2005
3,736
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8bit said:
If you want something to get you into the DC Universe, try New Frontier or Kingdom Come. Crisis was enjoyable in serial form 20 years ago, but hasn't aged that well as a collection and is probably the worst place to start.

--
What's Kingdom Come about? I've heard of that one before.
 

borghe

Loves the Greater Toronto Area
Jun 18, 2004
23,394
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Crisis was an "amazing" story for long time followers of golden- and silver-age DC. The typical reader only has to know that it cleaned a TON of things up. But yeah, it isn't really a "pick up and go" story like Watchmen or DKR. But for fans of the classic crossover stories it was pretty much the shit.

Haleon said:
What's Kingdom Come about? I've heard of that one before.
An Elseworlds story where all the heroes leave earth (driven out IIRC) and then return on the eve of a major threat. a realistic approach at how they would age, both physically and psychologically. by Mark Waid and painted by Alex ross.
 

DDayton

(more a nerd than a geek)
Jun 8, 2004
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Haleon said:
Uncle Sam? Is this guy for real? Did DC really have a comic about a guy dressed up like Uncle Sam?
DC has had a habit of buying out the properties of old, defunct comic companies. Uncle Sam comes from one such acquisition... something about fighing in World War II, if I remember correctly.

As much as I hate doing this, I'm sure the Wikipedia entry has some information in it.

(Now I feel unclean.)
 

Ignatz Mouse

Banned
Jul 9, 2004
23,084
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Crisis has aged terribly. Half of what made it good was the fact that nothing like it had been done before. Since then, the mega-crossover has been done to death, characters dying has been done to death. Plus, if you had no investment in DC comics before Crisis, the changes dont mean much.

As for as your take on DC superheroes-- different strokes. I don't see how Flash is any more or less dumb than Cyclops.

Fwiw, Crisis was an attempt to include just about every DC character ever. That includes ones created in the 40s, 50s and 60s. Imagine a Marvel story with Captain America, the Thin Man, the Living Laser, Paste-Pot Pete, and Radioactive Man. Sounds pretty dumb, no?

If you want a good DC universe stroy, try Identity Crisis. The ending was weak but the ride was great.

Imho, DCs best stuff is outside their shared universe. DC published Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and other great stuff at the same time as Crisis, and it's much better. And some of DCs best stuff now is under the Vertigo or Wildstorm imprint.

Shared universes by their very nature are dumb. I enjoy both Marvel and DC (and Ultimate) universes, but I like dumb comics. :) I also loved Avengers/JLA-- perhaps that's a good place to start?
 

Gio_CoD

Banned
Feb 16, 2005
3,736
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Ignatz Mouse said:
As for as your take on DC superheroes-- different strokes. I don't see how Flash is any more or less dumb than Cyclops.
For what it's worth, I actually thought The Flash was kind of cool in his brief appearances in Infinite Crisis so far. He went out like a champ.
 

borghe

Loves the Greater Toronto Area
Jun 18, 2004
23,394
3
1,575
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the best thing about Identity Crisis IMHO was it resulting in the best change in the Batman comics since DKR (which ironically just undid what DKR did... lol!) I liked the DKR change (was around when it slowly occured). but after 20 years it was time for a new change.

Haleon said:
For what it's worth, I actually thought The Flash was kind of cool in his brief appearances in Infinite Crisis so far. He went out like a champ.
one of the many parts of the series that choked me up a bit. granted they simply mimiced what was already done on the season 4 finale of JLU... but still great. Wally West is truly one of the great superheroes DC has given us (thanks in no small part to Mark Waid and Geoff Johns).
 

Prospero

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Jun 7, 2004
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Haleon said:
While we're at it, anybody know of a good online store to buy comics from?
I use Tales of Wonder regularly; a friend of mine who buys far more comics than I do uses In-Stock Trades. Tales of Wonder uses really great packing material, important if you want your books to show up without dings--since most of the stuff I've been buying has been DC Archives editions, Absolute editions, and other hardcovers, I prefer them. In-Stock Trades appears to use less sturdy packaging, but I think prices are a little cheaper there.
 
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