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[The Pleasure]

Look at those skills. Here's the subreddit. Funny thing is my friend got auto denied on jobs for not having a bachelor's degree
Now he puts down "currently a bachelor's"

 

[jason10mm]

As a downstream receiver of STEM applicants that were "vetted" by some HR peon with a liberal arts degree, I can say with 100% accuracy that this resume has enough "right things" to pass muster through a screen with no understanding of the actual position but who does know what a GPA is and that computer teams like big words

 

[Ionian]

That's brilliant if true, "Spread Herpes STD to 60% of intern team".

Leads to the question though what was on his original CV that he wasn't getting call backs on? Is the lesson just put shit in it and spam?

Something doesn't add up here.

 

[The Pleasure]

As a downstream receiver of STEM applicants that were "vetted" by some HR peon with a liberal arts degree, I can say with 100% accuracy that this resume has enough "right things" to pass muster through a screen with no understanding of the actual position but who does know what a GPA is and that computer teams like big words

Don't disparage your hr team. They're team coffee makers!

 

[The Cockatrice]

I believe anyone who says HR departments are run by the worst kind of idiots. I've- applied internally where I'm working now, some corporation, 4 times this year and I am more than positive they do not read the resumes/cv's at all. I've even yolo applied to somehting I 100% did not qualify and they still contacted me and made me go through the generic idiotic tests. Its fucking sad.

 

[QuantumZebra]

That's brilliant if true, "Spread Herpes STD to 60% of intern team".

Leads to the question though what was on his original CV that he wasn't getting call backs on? Is the lesson just put shit in it and spam?

Something doesn't add up here.

If I had to guess some sarcastic ass engineer who got fed up looking for jobs (likely found one or ventured out on his own) sent out a modded resume with this shit sprinkled in to see if it mattered.

Or someone just wanted to make a well-crafted troll resume for kicks.

 

[mindfreak191]

I don't find it hard to believe this shit, I've been applying to hundreds of jobs in the past two months, I had 3 calls. Mind you, it was entry level positions for which I had relevant experience, it is definitely a shitty bot system. One day I got fed up with all the same questions in every application that I answered "The fear of starvation and not being able to pay rent." to the question "What compelled you to apply for this job?".

 

[Ionian]

If I had to guess some sarcastic ass engineer who got fed up looking for jobs (likely found one or ventured out on his own) sent out a modded resume with this shit sprinkled in to see if it mattered.

Or someone just wanted to make a well-crafted troll resume for kicks.

I could see that alright if he had a job, just still seems weird. Not sure if bots going over CV's are a thing here but most likely are judging by shit like that.

I haven't applied for a job in a long time so kinda goes over my head, just seems so bizarre. Then again any big company I worked for I went through an agency which required meeting the recruiter.

My favourite was Dell (dunno if I posted this before), training which involved shadowing workers from all departments. Then I got my desk.

Told the TL I didn't know what to do (they never told me) and was confused, she said I was doing a great job. Spent all day answering the phone and just forwarding the calls to random extensions. That literally was it. Pretty sure I did tell this story before.

Got fired right before Christmas for gross misconduct despite asking everyone WTF am I supposed to do? I was an ass in the seat for the agency. They got paid.

Terrible Christmas for me.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

As a downstream receiver of STEM applicants that were "vetted" by some HR peon with a liberal arts degree, I can say with 100% accuracy that this resume has enough "right things" to pass muster through a screen with no understanding of the actual position but who does know what a GPA is and that computer teams like big words

I doubt at the companies that responded recruitment is handled by HR. It's Talent Acquisition.

The whole thing is confusing - was she working for real at these companies? I cannot imagine she was getting turned down with experience like that. Or did she just make FAANG shit up?

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I've had people call me for a sales job, even though my entire resume and linkedin profile is finance. They probably just look for similar industry companies and see some dollars and metrics in my bullet points and assume I'm an account manager.

I had one person call me about a job in Ontario, CA (California). I'm in Ontario, Canada. So it shows whatever she looked at just condensed to Ontario. The rest of my profile shows my city and jobs all show Greater Toronto Area locations and my universities are Canadian too.

We thought it was hilarious. We actually talked a bit and laughed about it and I said if your company ever opens up a Canadian office and need finance, call me.

 

[IntentionalPun]

Someone who interviews you might notice. Nobody before that is really reading the details of any resume.. they are just getting resumes to the person doing the interview after scheduling it.

That often happens DURING the interview, because you have a busy Calendar and all of a sudden an interview meeting someone in recruiting/your boss sent you pops up. Maybe you realize you have it that day and check the resume out in the AM. The people scheduling the interviews wouldn't know what the bullet points mean anyways... as they aren't a software engineer, or whatever the job is. And the people that do know what the bullet points are do not have time to be going through dozens of resumes reading them all, in order to filter down to a few interviewees. Just he way of the world.

I've cancelled interviews same day because I had a chance to read a resume, and noticed it was just not what we wanted.. or worse, I once noticed a resume was plagiarized from SOMEONE ID INTERVIEWED THAT SAME WEEK lol Or that other person had plagiarized.. not sure.. didn't hire either of them lol

But in the end, resumes are 99% bullshit that's been re-written to specifically sound "perfect" for the exact job description you send anyways.

If you put 5 bullet points in your job description, everything gets re-written for those 5 bullet points.. then you interview the person and they can barely field questions about the 5 bullet points.

 

[Ionian]

I doubt at the companies that responded recruitment is handled by HR. It's Talent Acquisition.

The whole thing is confusing - was she working for real at these companies? I cannot imagine she was getting turned down with experience like that. Or did she just make FAANG shit up?

Doesn't add up for me. Then again I had one one HR person tell me they'd take it out of my breaks if I went home after the heavens opened coming back from lunch and I had to sit in sopping wet clothes. Eventually told him I didn't care cycled home and changed and cycled right back.

That same asshole when we moved to a new office told me I was making more than most people in bonuses. I was untouchable then. Stupid fuck just filled out timesheets to be approved and browsed the internet. Oh I relished that, dude couldn't touch me. Had the CEO of the company want to meet me to figure out how I was hitting those goals. Was making serious bank for them. He'd nearly grovel for a meeting by the end (HR dude).

I turned my brain off going in and just went automatic. Start -> lunch -> end.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I've cancelled interviews same day because I had a chance to read a resume, and noticed it was just not what we wanted.. or worse, I once noticed a resume was plagiarized from SOMEONE ID INTERVIEWED THAT SAME WEEK lol Or that other person had plagiarized.. not sure.. didn't hire either of them lol

I have one guy I used to work with on Linkedin who copied my intro summary section almost word for word. Like 90% the same. One of those guys you barely know, but he's the kind of guy who adds everyone. Only found out later he copied when he left the company and I wanted to find out which company he's at.

 

[p_xavier]

As a downstream receiver of STEM applicants that were "vetted" by some HR peon with a liberal arts degree, I can say with 100% accuracy that this resume has enough "right things" to pass muster through a screen with no understanding of the actual position but who does know what a GPA is and that computer teams like big words

I had sent hundreds of résumés in the early 2000s (dotcom bubble, tough to get a job) and I finally got ahold of someone from HR and I asked, why are you not taking my candidature? She said we're looking for someone with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science. I said, I have one. She said no, it says B.Sc. Computer Science. What do you think B.Sc. means? Turns out she didn't have a clue and others didn't also. I was directly punished because I thought HR would know these basic things.

I had the same issue with a job offer as an astronomer, passed interview and exams and was to start soon enough. The damn girl in HR refused to process the job offers letter because the job posting required a degree in Engineering. I said that I have two Masters and a Ph.D. in Engineering. She said a degree is a bachelor's degree. The manager spent 3 months screaming at her and her boss but to no avail. Good thing I got another job offer that paid more, but that was and still was my dream job.

 

[Ionian]

I have one guy I used to work with on Linkedin who copied my intro summary section almost word for word. Like 90% the same. One of those guys you barely know, but he's the kind of guy who adds everyone. Only found out later he copied when he left the company and I wanted to find out which company he's at.

Christ I'd be livid if that happened to me.

 

[The Pleasure]

Christ I'd be livid if that happened to me.

He probably had a bachelors in Hazy Jennas

 

[Ionian]

He probably had a bachelors in Jenna Haze.

BRB, checking her CV.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

BRB, checking her CV.

Definitely team lead material right there.

 

[jason10mm]

He probably had a bachelors in Jenna Haze.

Now that is a name I've not heard in many a year..... time to hit the archives

 

[Mistake]

Let’s be real, HR isn’t getting laid. Better make those resumes as sexy as possible

 

[Cyberpunkd]

Now that is a name I've not heard in many a year..... time to hit the archives

 

[dr_octagon]

Human redundancy / retards is more accurate for a majority of the people in the profession.

 

[godhandiscen]

I've interviewed about a hundred people and carefully read a handful of resumes for each person I interviewed, helping our recruiters filter candidates. I never got a resume filled with bullshit from my recruiting team. In some organizations, the recruiter's job is on the line if they forward a garbage resume like that to the engineering team; tons of engineers are snowflakes who complain their time is being wasted. I had a CTO that used to fire inefficient recruiters until we eventually assembled a good group.

This woman is giving bullshit advice.

 

[Enjay]

I've interviewed about a hundred people and carefully read a handful of resumes for each person I interviewed, helping our recruiters filter candidates. I never got a resume filled with bullshit from my recruiting team. In some organizations, the recruiter's job is on the line if they forward a garbage resume like that to the engineering team; tons of engineers are snowflakes who complain their time is being wasted. I had a CTO that used to fire inefficient recruiters until we eventually assembled a good group.

This woman is giving bullshit advice.

Yeah this is a story that goes viral every few years with a few alterations. The last one I remember was with a facetious job application from McDonald's.

 

[Kilau]

That's brilliant if true, "Spread Herpes STD to 60% of intern team".

Leads to the question though what was on his original CV that he wasn't getting call backs on? Is the lesson just put shit in it and spam?

Something doesn't add up here.

 

[nush]

but he's the kind of guy who adds everyone.

I fucking love those guys, if they work for a big name company because by adding me they give me access to the higher management that I do want to contact. I hit up all the junior entry level staff becuse if they are not useful where they are, then often they get promoted or change jobs to another brand within a couple of years. Useful idiots.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

Tons of engineers are snowflakes who complain their time is being wasted. I had a CTO that used to fire inefficient recruiters until we eventually assembled a good group.

I love working with the tech team, especially the ones that do not know what they want from a candidate or the ones that reject perfectly viable ones on something that was never included in the JD.

 

[Boss Mog]

Of course that resume is going to get callbacks, it's a woman who's potentially a lesbian, none of the other stuff matters when "diversity" becomes the number 1 criteria for hiring.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Of course that resume is going to get callbacks, it's a woman who's potentially a lesbian, none of the other stuff matters when "diversity" becomes the number 1 criteria for hiring.

"spearheaded micosofters 4 trump company rally"
"Gave herpes to 60% of intern team"

This is person is the pinnacle anti-lib redditor and she's female and sleeps with men and women. She literally caters to appeal to people like you Boss Mog.

So much for diversity.

 

[Hari Seldon]

That's brilliant if true, "Spread Herpes STD to 60% of intern team".

Leads to the question though what was on his original CV that he wasn't getting call backs on? Is the lesson just put shit in it and spam?

Something doesn't add up here.

I think he added all of the FANG companies. If you have FANG on linked-in you don’t bother applying anywhere.

 

[Boss Mog]

"spearheaded micosofters 4 trump company rally"
"Gave herpes to 60% of intern team"

This is person is the pinnacle anti-lib redditor and she's female and sleeps with men and women. She literally caters to appeal to people like you Boss Mog.

So much for diversity.

The whole point was that they don't read resumes, just the name.

 

[Vicetrailia]

The whole point was that they don't read resumes, just the name.

No one reads the name. No one who should besides recruiters who don't know anything reads an application until like 2 minutes before the interview. The algorithms read a narrow set of words and gives it to some damn recruiters.