Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

Status
Not open for further replies.
Mostly cultural I guess? They're very traditionally Korean and go to church 3 times a week, but that isn't really the issue I think.

My brother got married when he was the same age I am now. On top of that everyone else in the church that is in my age group has been married for 5 years or somewhere near there.

My sister-in-law doesn't speak Korean at all and they want to have a daughter-in-law they can actually have a conversation with. To complicate that issue I haven't dated a Korean girl since 2002.
Do NOT date someone (who, as you say, you find no physical attraction whatoever towards) just because your parents want a future daughter-in-law who speaks Korean. Don't do this to yourself.

As for whether you should go on a second date, only you can really know. Did you overstate your lack of attraction? Is she simply not similar to what you are conventionally attracted to? Is there any ANY hope at all that a second date might lead somewhere, or would you just do so just to placate your parents? Or perhaps you want to find out for yourself if it can go anywhere?
 
I am fully convinced I am never going to meet someone I like. How do you talk to 6 girls and not one of them is someone you find promising?
Sounds like paralysis of choice. Go offline and do it the old fashioned way, you'll be less picky becuse you'll never get 6 women interested i you in a short timeframe. Stop Looking for the one, realise that the grass is always greener on the other side until you realise it's not.
 
My life is really, really boring compared to like all the other Dating GAFfers in here lol
I barely even have time for gaf nowadays, my dating life has taken a huge hit. I'm probably one of the most boring people in here now too. 😔

It's because I started a pretty awesome job though. It's already taken me to Korea, and in a few days off to SG and Malaysia. No complaints la, but also no dates.
 
Sounds like paralysis of choice. Go offline and do it the old fashioned way, you'll be less picky becuse you'll never get 6 women interested i you in a short timeframe. Stop Looking for the one, realise that the grass is always greener on the other side until you realise it's not.
I'm just not accustomed to the grind of it all. My last relationship was with the first girl I asked out in college. Now I realize how lucky I was to really be into the first girl I went for. What I'm experiencing now is the exact opposite of that, it's pretty demoralizing.
 
I barely even have time for gaf nowadays, my dating life has taken a huge hit. I'm probably one of the most boring people in here now too. 😔

It's because I started a pretty awesome job though. It's already taken me to Korea, and in a few days off to SG and Malaysia. No complaints la, but also no dates.
Congrats on the new job!
 
My problem is that my dick doesn't work properly due to being filled with drugs for years.
Her problem is that she feels I'm severly unattracted to her, due to my inability to get erections and also because she's seen what I "like" and feels inadequate by comparison.
Does it work when you're on your own? If so the problem is not physical, the problem is in your head and tied to your particular likes/fetishes - which you can seek help about.

an embarrasing thing happened tonight, some girl was waiting for someone and I thought she was waiting because she wanted to talk to me.
No need for the double-check.....if she's into you you'd know
 
im just constantly amazed by how crazy some peoples lives are in comparison to mine
Aye. Pretty much the only drama in my life is my angst over not being that active socially/romantically (after the debacle Friday night, going to stop leaning on grad school friends and dive hard into Meetup.com and related groups, find my people). So much emotional stuff like this never happens to me.
 
My hobbies, volunteer work, and general interests in media and games keep me rather busy (all three of those intersect quite often), and from time to time friends drift in and out of my life so I catch up with them when I can and they aren't absorbed in their own lives.

So, really I'm not too bothered when my dates dry up but every so often I get hit with that feeling of maybe I should be going on more dates / it would be nice to go steady with someone since it's been a while since I've gotten to that stage in a relationship.

With that being said, hanging out with friends in SoCal this weekend and hitting up 3/4 Smash Bros. tournaments so eh, not gonna happen this week. Gonna do my thang.
 
Most of the truly weird shit happens with people I never got to meeting. Like the girl with a bladder control fetish, or the girl (who was a guy) who just wanted someone to write erotica about the girl he pretended to be.
Maybe 3-4 days a part.
I meant how many girls have you had this happen with? Tinder's notoriously buggy...is this new for you?
 
Most of the truly weird shit happens with people I never got to meeting. Like the girl with a bladder control fetish, or the girl (who was a guy) who just wanted someone to write erotica about the girl he pretended to be.

I meant how many girls have you had this happen with? Tinder's notoriously buggy...is this new for you?
Oh, I don't know how many really. But I recognize faces from time to time that I'm certain that I have swiped left on. Haven't used Tinder more than 3 weeks now so yes its new for me.
 
Hey gaf, I'd like your thoughts in how to proceed in a couple of situations I'm in..

Bear in mind I've never been one to deal with girls who are already in realtionships.

Girl 1: Really cute japanese girl whose in the area for a contract job for 2 years.
We met on tinder and while still in the texting stages I asked if she was single, she told me she had a boyfriend and from that point onward that was the only time she has mentioned him. Regardless, we've gone out twice. I thought whatever.. we hit it off great and we have a lot in common, it'd be great to make a new friend and so because of that i kept my distance a bit. The thing is.. she is really into me, all the classic signs are there. Should I just keep going out with her? start physical contact and escalate and not worry about it?

Girl 2: Girl I met a few days ago at a mutual friends' dinner party. We hit it off great, I found it weird that she was asking me a lot of personal questions.. but lots of flirting between the two of us. All the other guests started joking saying that we made a great couple. But at one point when we were alone talking, she takes out her phone to call her boyfriend in front of me to ask how he was doing, then she goes right back to flirting like nothing happened. Before that i had no idea she was seeing anybody.. she gives me her number anyway and suggests that we go out and celebrate about a recent work promotion that I told her about. We haven't chatted since then and I have no problem asking her out, but I don't know if I should go through with it..

On a side note about the "calling the boyfriend in front of you" thing. This has been done by quite a few women who have been interested in me. Is this just them overplaying their taken status to seem more desirable? trying to provoke jealousy? or just a way for them to say "you know i have a boyfriend, so if anything happens between us you're responsible.."
If a person is willing to cheat on a current SO, they'll also be willing to cheat on you.
 
How far are you willing to go to go on a date with someone? I've been talking to this cool girl on Tinder but she lives in downtown DC while I'm in a suburb. Would probably take me an hour to get down there between driving and taking the metro and I'm not sure if I want to deal with that.
Maybe I can propose we get coffee somewhere in between, like Clarendon.
 
How far are you willing to go to go on a date with someone? I've been talking to this cool girl on Tinder but she lives in downtown DC while I'm in a suburb. Would probably take me an hour to get down there between driving and taking the metro and I'm not sure if I want to deal with that.
Maybe I can propose we get coffee somewhere in between, like Clarendon.
Clarendon? Brah, no. Maybe Galaxy Hut. Also, the fact that she's willing to see you is HUGE. I turned down a third date with a girl because she lived in Reston. Way too hard to get to Virginia.

Also, how about I send Reston girl your way and you introduce me to D.C. girl? /s
 
Damn, I'd been doing really well at keeping some emotional distance between myself and the women I've been seeing, but I guess I let my guard down a bit since things were going so smoothly with one of them. Now I find myself overthinking her response times and the tone of her texts and what-not. Gonna have to deal with five more days of feeling all insecure and weird until our third date. -_-

Wish I had something other than class and work to keep my mind occupied in the meantime.
 
Honestly, this could be an anime just by itself. The lives some of you lead are amazing in dramatic complexity.

So there's this girl that apparently lives with me now.
We've become very good friends since she turned up with a switch+zelda a few weeks ago.
I've known her about 5 years though.

Earlier tonight she sits close to me and starts touching me up with her feet, I didn't mind, I like feet... so I just caressed her with my free hand and continued to browse gaf.

Then about 2 mins later she gets angry that I'm not hard and starts getting upset that I'm not giving her all of my attention, saying things like "you're not into me at all are you?"

She keeps bringing up and comparing herself to the girls in the ecchi/hentai games I collect...
I keep saying its a fantasy, fiction, that I don't actually expect girls to be like that...
I feel like I'm being blamed for having preferences/fantasies.

I should also point out that I've been fucking chemically castrated and it takes a lot of goddamn effort for me to get aroused, I have to focus like crazy.

I still feel like a scumbag for making her sad though...
I spent 10 years as a chick, my dick don't work properly anymore.
She's a friend of mine, she started playing Zelda at my house and didn't leave yet..
Yes, we're both pretty rich and have no responsibilities, and I don't realy mind so...
I dunno, mostly just don't want to hurt her feelings.
I'm a selfish asshole with a mostly non functioning cock, she can do better than me.
For some reason she likes me...
I just did, she says she doesn't want anyone else, she wants me.

she just wishes she was what I wanted...

now I feel like a fucking megashit.

Why does a sweet girl like a fucking weirdo like me?

I cant bring myself to hurt her feelings, I don't wanna lose her either, Fuck it... I'm just gonna go for it...
No she's not ok with it, she gets upset that I don't respond to her.

I can have sex, it's just really difficult for me, and its not particularly comfortable. plus I cant err.. "finish".

I have to be in charge of getting myself going, trying to do it for me will not work.
So it's more that spontaneous sex wont really be a thing... I can plan for it.
What do you mean?

My problem is that my dick doesn't work properly due to being filled with drugs for years.
Her problem is that she feels I'm severly unattracted to her, due to my inability to get erections and also because she's seen what I "like" and feels inadequate by comparison.
 
Clarendon? Brah, no. Maybe Galaxy Hut. Also, the fact that she's willing to see you is HUGE. I turned down a third date with a girl because she lived in Reston. Way too hard to get to Virginia.

Also, how about I send Reston girl your way and you introduce me to D.C. girl? /s
Haha are you in MD or something? Whenever I see someone lives up there I don't even consider it, beltway is too much of a hassle.
 
She's taking her kid to soccer practice tomorrow and will swing by my place during that. Not too much time there to do anything special, but nice to see her.

I'm dating a soccer mom lol
 
She's taking her kid to soccer practice tomorrow and will swing by my place during that. Not too much time there to do anything special, but nice to see her.

I'm dating a soccer mom lol
Soccer practice is usually a couple of hours.

There's a lot you could do in that time.

The time crunch makes it even more fun
 
Haha are you in MD or something? Whenever I see someone lives up there I don't even consider it, beltway is too much of a hassle.
I'm in Chinatown.

In 2015, I dated a girl in Falls Church. Never again. I won't change metro lines. The girl I'm currently seeing (not exclusive - hold your horses, Leeness) is a 25 minute walk/10 minute Uber away. I'd be lying if I said that didn't matter.
 
Why do girls I keep swiping left on keep poping up now and then?
I believe it's suppose to not show them again if you left swipe, and that supposedly it's just people making a new profile. But yeah I always see like 90% of girls I swipe left on a second time, so I don't really know if people are actually just deleting and remaking profiles that often
 
Well, my luck's gone to shit. Flakers and auto-friendzoners, as far as the eye can see.

Seriously, cannot tell you how many times I got bait-and-switched by someone who ultimately either just wanted new friends or cannot make up their mind when the moment comes to actually set up a date, even when I try to emphasize my intent on dating more than once so that they knew what they were getting into.
 
Well, my luck's gone to shit. Flakers and auto-friendzoners, as far as the eye can see.

Seriously, cannot tell you how many times I got bait-and-switched by someone who ultimately either just wanted new friends or cannot make up their mind when the moment comes to actually set up a date, even when I try to emphasize my intent on dating more than once so that they knew what they were getting into.
Being over eager can sometimes be a turn off. If this is becoming frequent maybe it's time to do some introspection.
 
Well, my luck's gone to shit. Flakers and auto-friendzoners, as far as the eye can see.

Seriously, cannot tell you how many times I got bait-and-switched by someone who ultimately either just wanted new friends or cannot make up their mind when the moment comes to actually set up a date, even when I try to emphasize my intent on dating more than once so that they knew what they were getting into.
Perceived desperation is a turn-off.

Relax.
 
Being over eager can sometimes be a turn off. If this is becoming frequent maybe it's time to do some introspection.
I've been trying a newer method of just being direct, getting to know the person a bit and moving the conversation out of OKC once there's interest/acceptance. I've gotten some success out of it, but lately, things have fallen down and I'm trying to figure how to work on things.
 
I've been trying a newer method of just being direct, getting to know the person a bit and moving the conversation out of OKC once there's interest/acceptance. I've gotten some success out of it, but lately, things have fallen down and I'm trying to figure how to work on things.
A lot of people are on dating sites for attention and not to actually commit. You gotta remember that.

So, sometimes when you're direct people realize they have to either commit to the date or call it off but at least it saves you some time in the end.
 
Also, some people who may be open to more can get scared off if you act overly serious at the start. It doesn't mean they are flakes or otherwise shitty people, but that you might be coming off as desperate, paranoid or controlling. Given that they have many more offers than you, they aren't gonna waste time to give you a chance to clear things up if that happens.
 
Honestly, this could be an anime just by itself. The lives some of you lead are amazing in dramatic complexity.
Well I do look like a "hot bishy anime guy" so I'm told haha.

Anyway, I went for it... we had a pretty great day today just talking and being cuddly and stuff.
She wanted the D so I went off to "freshen up"... which was entirely believable because I was fucking covered in ash and whiskey... hey I like to sit back, way back..
I managed to get it up (sort of) after a lot of fluffing, felt like my skin was half my size but whatever... so I approached with gritted teeth, a red face and grasping my erection like a fucking cock ring.

We had fun, I didn't finish but I made sure she was satisfied.

I guess I have a girlfriend now.
 
I've been trying a newer method of just being direct, getting to know the person a bit and moving the conversation out of OKC once there's interest/acceptance. I've gotten some success out of it, but lately, things have fallen down and I'm trying to figure how to work on things.
You've got to move to a date quickly while you have that new guy momentum, leave it too long and your ild dick and just a chat buddy.
I'll ask for a date no more than 2 times before moving on so I dont end up entertaining people who just want attention. The date IS where you get to know someone.
 
It feels strange to be back in here.

(Quick recap: Met Swedish woman last year. Things started to take off in the fall. 2017 rolls around, we get more and more attached and touchy. We see each other almost everyday of the week and we talk quite a bit. Big problem is that she's moving back to Sweden in three months)

Our older Swedish friend (50+) told me that I should seriously consider a long distance relationship because we're so good together. Even suggested I marry if it works out because she has never seen anything like us two.

The "marrying" bit was kind of extreme to me, but I've gotten comments on how well we are together. The problem is, she's noticing how strong she feels and that she's trying to keep from feeling that way because she 'doesn't want to leave the United States heart broken.'

After she said that, she mentioned how our friend is in a long distance relationship with her husband and how well they're working it out and that she doesn't have a problem with trust in long distance, it's just a matter of being away.

My father stopped by to visit me and I informed her of him coming by while we were talking randomly. She got excited and told me that she wanted to meet him a lot. I informed him about her, but they never got to meet.

Now, I have my parents constantly asking about her.

She's constantly on my mind, and I don't know what to do.
 
It feels strange to be back in here.

(Quick recap: Met Swedish woman last year. Things started to take off in the fall. 2017 rolls around, we get more and more attached and touchy. We see each other almost everyday of the week and we talk quite a bit. Big problem is that she's moving back to Sweden in three months)

Our older Swedish friend (50+) told me that I should seriously consider a long distance relationship because we're so good together. Even suggested I marry if it works out because she has never seen anything like us two.

The "marrying" bit was kind of extreme to me, but I've gotten comments on how well we are together. The problem is, she's noticing how strong she feels and that she's trying to keep from feeling that way because she 'doesn't want to leave the United States heart broken.'

After she said that, she mentioned how our friend is in a long distance relationship with her husband and how well they're working it out and that she doesn't have a problem with trust in long distance, it's just a matter of being away.

My father stopped by to visit me and I informed her of him coming by while we were talking randomly. She got excited and told me that she wanted to meet him a lot. I informed him about her, but they never got to meet.

Now, I have my parents constantly asking about her.

She's constantly on my mind, and I don't know what to do.
You move to Sweden or she stays. I'll buy you a beer if you move here. I wouldn't recommend a long distance relationship. It's a 8 hrs flight minimum as you surely know.
 
Have you guys ever been into a girl. Then spent a long day with her and it was fine, but after everything felt very meh?

I spent friday and saturday with a girl and last night was pretty much said she wanted to bang and all i could muster was a "meh" in my head and said i was going to keep working on a painting.

I will have tell her im not into this week. I think i figured out we have less in common and the sex was a chore/annoying.
 
A lot of people are on dating sites for attention and not to actually commit. You gotta remember that.
just want to take a moment to emphasize this.

I have a (female) single friend who signed up for tinder/OkC etc. She took the time to fill out an entire profile, answered a bunch of questions, put up really good pictures, etc.

She's not actually looking to date.. nor is she looking for friends. She has 0 intention of going out with anyone who messages her.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Don't take it personal peeps.
 
Have you guys ever been into a girl. Then spent a long day with her and it was fine, but after everything felt very meh?

I spent friday and saturday with a girl and last night was pretty much said she wanted to bang and all i could muster was a "meh" in my head and said i was going to keep working on a painting.

I will have tell her im not into this week. I think i figured out we have less in common and the sex was a chore/annoying.
Happens all the time 🙄

A lot of people take things too seriously too quickly. And this again goes back to how the desperation and neediness can be such a turn off. Take it easy, enjoy yourself.
Yeah. Maybe people ITT are new to dating or something, but it is an issue. Ghosting rants, depressed thoughts, hyperbolic quitting of Tinder/dating in general. Reel it in, y'all.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.