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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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You messaged her after she sent the most obvious message that she's about to bang some other guy​?

Come on dude. She didn't forget you would see her Instagram, she did they shit to send a message.
Yeah, "working on herself" and all that right?

This is what I mean my man. And again, that text you just sent is EXACTLY what she wanted.
 

Ray Wonder

Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Man I'm really sorry to hear that man :(

Well shit that sucks. Sorry to hear this, hope you two are holding up okay.

I'm so so sorry to hear that. :(

I'm sorry Ray, it's sad to hear such news. Stay strong brother.


I'm incredibly sorry to hear that Ray.

Sorry to hear this Ray. Hope you and her are holding up.

Sorry to hear, Ray :(

Man, I'm sorry to hear that.

That sucks to hear, best of wishes.

Oh wow, thanks a lot. I appreciate the condolences. I'm holding up pretty well.

Fuck. I'm so sorry to hear that.

With that being said, your attitude towards everything has been pretty admirable.

Are you two going to stick together after all this?

Yeah, we are staying together. Thanks, I try to keep a smile no matter what's going on. Got that from my mom. lol

I'm sorry, dude. I know how excited you were. But just think: when the time is right for you, you're going to crush it. I can already tell (and you probably can too) that you'll be a fantastic father.

I hope you two stay together as well. Maybe you can try again in a few years?

Awwwwwe Thanks, I hope we get to try again in the future too. I was so damn ready lol
 

jimmypython

Member
You messaged her after she sent the most obvious message that she's about to bang some other guy​?

Come on dude. She didn't forget you would see her Instagram, she did they shit to send a message.

Yeah, "working on herself" and all that right?

This is what I mean my man. And again, that text you just sent is EXACTLY what she wanted.

She an East side ting, and you on the West side? LOL. I am in Toronto too, and 2 hours by car from one end of the city to another just doesn't sound right. Do you both still live in Toronto, or are you in Toronto and she's in like, Etobicoke, Mississauga or one of those places? Even then that's not that much distance. Takes me 1.5hrs to get from the city to Ajax, and that's waaaay outside Toronto.

Anyway, this sounds like trouble. The way you asked her was not smooth at all, reeks of desperation and fear. She may very well be playing with you ATM, and that's what it just sounds like she's doing. If she posted a picture of a guy, at his place in her social media, which she for sure knows you will see... I think you can put 2 and 2 together and see what's happening.

I'm in city of Toronto and she is in Kingston, which is actually 2.5hr away. I meant GTA area haha.


I know. Seems like trouble to me too. And she replied saying "it's just a friend. Calm down." Well, tbh one can say anything to anyone and I'm not 18 anymore. And I'm technically her "friend" too ATM.

It's just how fast the person can change. Maybe she has never forgiven me for what I did last time and now she wants to get back at me. Well, can't say it doesn't hurt.

I should have moved on a long time ago.
 
I'm in city of Toronto and she is in Kingston, which is actually 2.5hr away. I meant GTA area haha.

I know. Seems like trouble to me too. And she replied saying "it's just a friend. Calm down." Well, tbh one can say anything to anyone and I'm not 18 anymore. And I'm technically her "friend" too ATM.
Oh man. Okay, Toronto is full of beautiful, smart women. Leave this "friend" alone, because this doesn't seem worth it for you at all. Let me guess, were you the one driving to her every time too?
 

jimmypython

Member
Oh man. Okay, Toronto is full of beautiful, smart women. Leave this "friend" alone, because this doesn't seem worth it for you at all. Let me guess, were you the one driving to her every time too?

Thanks man!

Actually no. We take turns. And we sometimes would meet up somewhere halfway (Port Hope or Trenton).

She used to shoot me text/selfies multiple times everyday. Her change of attitude seems to have happened a couple of weeks ago (three weeks to be exact, last time we meet. It all felt normal that time).
 
Seems odd that she would post evidence of an affair on Instagram. So either 1) it's innocent or 2) she wants you to know. How #yolo is this chick?
 
I'm sure there's plenty of eligible bachelorettes in Toronto, just sayin'
Unlike Vancouver
remember that one lol
it's definitely not a problem in this city lol.

Seems odd that she would post evidence of an affair on Instagram. So either 1) it's innocent or 2) she wants you to know. How #yolo is this chick?
This ^ Plus, does she have any pictures with you on there? Could mean nothing but it would be more food for thought.

Toleoring, you just might need to get out of your comfort zone, which may very well be why you kept this thing going for as long as you have - distance and all. If it's been 3 weeks of this attitude, I'm struggling to come up with a reason why you didn't walk away already.
 
Because of this and many many other things, I thought it was time for me to settle and commit. I thought this was it and she had become the love of my life. Then I asked her to start a serious relationship.. this is where things started to go south. She stopped talking to me often and said she needed some space and time to work on herself, but still wanted to keep seeing me

This is where you shoulda dipped put fam. It's always grade A stupidoty when someone goes, "I need time to work on myself so I dont wanna commit but still wants to see you. At this point you actually wanted somethimg concrete, you don't settle here. It's just time wasting.
 

Kyne

Member
Thanks man!

Actually no. We take turns. And we sometimes would meet up somewhere halfway (Port Hope or Trenton).

She used to shoot me text/selfies multiple times everyday. Her change of attitude seems to have happened a couple of weeks ago (three weeks to be exact, last time we meet. It all felt normal that time).

sorry man.. where there's smoke there's usually fire.

just start preparing yourself for the worst case scenario.
 
Seems odd that she would post evidence of an affair on Instagram. So either 1) it's innocent or 2) she wants you to know. How #yolo is this chick?

Is it an affair? She liked the attention, found someone closer willing to give more attention and bailed when talk of it becoming 'serious' was floated.

Seems clear-cut to me.
 
Okay, I'll be going on a third date with a woman from OKCupid tomorrow. Things have been proceeding really smoothly with her so far. I'm not gonna go into tomorrow's date with any expectation of this, but I realize that sex may soon become a possibility if things continue to go well.

That said, I could use some advice. I still live in a small house with my parents. She knows this. Bringing her back to "my" place for sex isn't an option, period. My date does have her own apartment, but she doesn't really strike me as the type to initiate sex or invite me back there at the end of a date. Up to this point, I've had to be the one to make the move, even for something as small as holding hands (though she's always told me afterward that she wanted it and just felt too awkward to initiate). So, knowing this, would it be appropriate for me to "invite myself" to her apartment or suggest we go back there if I detect that things are going particularly well on a date? If any of you guys have been in a similar situation, how/where did you manage to make sex happen?
 

artsi

Member
Okay, I'll be going on a third date with a woman from OKCupid tomorrow. Things have been proceeding really smoothly with her so far. I'm not gonna go into tomorrow's date with any expectation of this, but I realize that sex may soon become a possibility if things continue to go well.

That said, I could use some advice. I still live in a small house with my parents. She knows this. Bringing her back to "my" place for sex isn't an option, period. My date does have her own apartment, but she doesn't really strike me as the type to initiate sex or invite me back there at the end of a date. Up to this point, I've had to be the one to make the move, even for something as small as holding hands (though she's always told me afterward that she wanted it and just felt too awkward to initiate). So, knowing this, would it be appropriate for me to "invite myself" to her apartment or suggest we go back there if I detect that things are going particularly well on a date? If any of you guys have been in a similar situation, how/where did you manage to make sex happen?

I dunno, if it was me I would suggest to watch netflix or something at her place and then just take it from there. That could be the next date too.
 

Salamando

Member
Okay, I'll be going on a third date with a woman from OKCupid tomorrow. Things have been proceeding really smoothly with her so far. I'm not gonna go into tomorrow's date with any expectation of this, but I realize that sex may soon become a possibility if things continue to go well.

That said, I could use some advice. I still live in a small house with my parents. She knows this. Bringing her back to "my" place for sex isn't an option, period. My date does have her own apartment, but she doesn't really strike me as the type to initiate sex or invite me back there at the end of a date. Up to this point, I've had to be the one to make the move, even for something as small as holding hands (though she's always told me afterward that she wanted it and just felt too awkward to initiate). So, knowing this, would it be appropriate for me to "invite myself" to her apartment or suggest we go back there if I detect that things are going particularly well on a date? If any of you guys have been in a similar situation, how/where did you manage to make sex happen?

You don't need to get too fancy here - just suggest that instead of meeting somewhere, you pick her up. When you drop her off, put the car in park, and play from there. Maybe you make out a little, mention that its cold, ask to continue this inside...
 

Zojirushi

Member
Have you guys ever been into a girl. Then spent a long day with her and it was fine, but after everything felt very meh?

I spent friday and saturday with a girl and last night was pretty much said she wanted to bang and all i could muster was a "meh" in my head and said i was going to keep working on a painting.

I will have tell her im not into this week. I think i figured out we have less in common and the sex was a chore/annoying.

You can practically hear her on the other side of this conversation posting in some other message board: Guys I had an amazing time with this guy and now he's just being kinda weird and dismissive wtf is wrong with men?!?
 

Leeness

Member
I think I have a habit of becoming attracted to girls who are unavailable.

Thoughts

I'm like this too.The only times I've ever felt some attraction to someone, they either are completely not into me or are engaged.

I think it's a way for me to pretend like I'm a regular person, but it's safe, because I'll never have to actually date any of these people.
 
You can practically hear her on the other side of this conversation posting in some other message board: Guys I had an amazing time with this guy and now he's just being kinda weird and dismissive wtf is wrong with men?!?

that's a bit harsh for what is just me asking about a chemistry/personality mismatch. She took it well, we will probably still do fitness stuff together, she is great climber and i had fun doing that with her.

If a girl really wants to hang out and im not thinking "fuck yes" then why the hell should i do it. 2 weeks into anything if you are not saying fuck yes to everything, its not going to work. I'm doing both of us a favor my letting this be known and not leading her on.
 

Lulubop

Member
Okay, I'll be going on a third date with a woman from OKCupid tomorrow. Things have been proceeding really smoothly with her so far. I'm not gonna go into tomorrow's date with any expectation of this, but I realize that sex may soon become a possibility if things continue to go well.

That said, I could use some advice. I still live in a small house with my parents. She knows this. Bringing her back to "my" place for sex isn't an option, period. My date does have her own apartment, but she doesn't really strike me as the type to initiate sex or invite me back there at the end of a date. Up to this point, I've had to be the one to make the move, even for something as small as holding hands (though she's always told me afterward that she wanted it and just felt too awkward to initiate). So, knowing this, would it be appropriate for me to "invite myself" to her apartment or suggest we go back there if I detect that things are going particularly well on a date? If any of you guys have been in a similar situation, how/where did you manage to make sex happen?

If it's getting hot and heavy, just be like let's go back to your place. That's what I always do.
 

Zojirushi

Member
that's a bit harsh for what is just me asking about a chemistry/personality mismatch. She took it well, we will probably still do fitness stuff together, she is great climber and i had fun doing that with her.

If a girl really wants to hang out and im not thinking "fuck yes" then why the hell should i do it. 2 weeks into anything if you are not saying fuck yes to everything, its not going to work. I'm doing both of us a favor my letting this be known and not leading her on.

Oh sure as long as you're up front about it everything's fine. I just had to think about how we often have this post in here from the receiving end of the brush off after what seemed like a great date to one person.
 
I think I have a habit of becoming attracted to girls who are unavailable.

Thoughts

You are attracted to women that are unavailable because you can safely flirt and enjoy their company safe in the knowledge that it will never develop into a potential relationship, so there won't be any rejections or fears of commitment.
 

Astral

Member
You are attracted to women that are unavailable because you can safely flirt and enjoy their company safe in the knowledge that it will never develop into a potential relationship, so there won't be any rejections or fears of commitment.

I was about to say just this lol. I feel the same way about some of my coworkers because I know I'm not interested in dating a coworker and some of them are simply taken.
 

Leeness

Member
You are attracted to women that are unavailable because you can safely flirt and enjoy their company safe in the knowledge that it will never develop into a potential relationship, so there won't be any rejections or fears of commitment.

I was about to say just this lol. I feel the same way about some of my coworkers because I know I'm not interested in dating a coworker and some of them are simply taken.

That's exactly what I said above :D Haha.
 
I was about to say just this lol. I feel the same way about some of my coworkers because I know I'm not interested in dating a coworker and some of them are simply taken.

It's also why people seem to come out of the woodwork and show attraction to you when you're in a relationship when they might not have beforehand.

There's no real risk of rejection other than "I have a boyfriend / girlfriend" so they feel more at ease to say / do things.
 

jimmypython

Member
Thanks for the replies!

I'm sure there's plenty of eligible bachelorettes in Toronto, just sayin'

Yes that's true haha.


sorry man.. where there's smoke there's usually fire.

just start preparing yourself for the worst case scenario.

Seems odd that she would post evidence of an affair on Instagram. So either 1) it's innocent or 2) she wants you to know. How #yolo is this chick?

yeah. today she started sending me texts and random snapchats again. not sure what is going on. Regardless, it might be a good time to develop an exit strategy.

This ^ Plus, does she have any pictures with you on there? Could mean nothing but it would be more food for thought.

Toleoring, you just might need to get out of your comfort zone, which may very well be why you kept this thing going for as long as you have - distance and all. If it's been 3 weeks of this attitude, I'm struggling to come up with a reason why you didn't walk away already.

There used to be. She deleted them all when I broke up with her first time. You might have a point here regarding the comfort zone. It's just that she was so into me I didn't feel the need to do that. Indeed, I've tried some online dating here just to see what's out there and already put off two meet up requests lol.


This is where you shoulda dipped put fam. It's always grade A stupidoty when someone goes, "I need time to work on myself so I dont wanna commit but still wants to see you. At this point you actually wanted somethimg concrete, you don't settle here. It's just time wasting.

I basically did this to her last time and waited for me hard. so I think it's only fair for me to wait for a little bit.
 

Peltz

Member
I'm like this too.The only times I've ever felt some attraction to someone, they either are completely not into me or are engaged.

I think it's a way for me to pretend like I'm a regular person, but it's safe, because I'll never have to actually date any of these people.

I've done something similar to this in my own life. I was not getting interested in people who were unavailable, but rather, I was dating girls I knew it wouldn't work out with long term for one reason or another, and kind of leading them on because it felt comfortable and I felt in control.

The way to break this cycle isn't to try to find someone that is right for you... but rather just to prevent yourself from going down that road again. If someone is unavailable, or if you know it's not going to work out in the long run, stop yourself and back off. Don't say, "Maybe this will be the exception" because then you'll end up just doing what you always do. Nip it in the bud before it happens and stop getting attached to people who aren't right for you or aren't able/ready to be with you.
 

Leeness

Member
I've done something similar to this in my own life. I was not getting interested in people who were unavailable, but rather, I was dating girls I knew it wouldn't work out with long term for one reason or another, and kind of leading them on because it felt comfortable and I felt in control.

The way to break this cycle isn't to try to find someone that is right for you... but rather just to prevent yourself from going down that road again. If someone is unavailable, or if you know it's not going to work out in the long run, stop yourself and back off. Don't say, "Maybe this will be the exception" because then you'll end up just doing what you always do. Nip it in the bud before it happens and stop getting attached to people who aren't right for you or aren't able/ready to be with you.

Haha, no cycle needs to be broken in my case, because I'll never be looking for someone who is available, so no need to bother.

This is good advice for the others up above, though :)
 

Astral

Member
No one likes a liar.

this will backfire on you 300%

This is like pretending to be the token gay friend to the girl you like to get them to like you or something.

AKA a terrible idea

Getting in shape and dressing well will work much better.

Fiiiiiiiine. On a more serious note, the Philippine girl I was seeing who ended it contacted me again and said she pretty much wants to be fwb. She was really clingy when we were going out, hugging me out of nowhere and holding onto my arm and stuff very early on so my friend is saying she probably wants more than just a fwb relationship but is just using that to get in again. I feel like she might be right and would preferably like to avoid that situation. She's even admitted to me that she's clingy with men soooo I don't know how to reject her. She sends me really dirty messages that I admit are hard to ignore.
 
So if I pretend to be in a relationship I might find out if anyone likes me. Hmmm...

Who told you this would a good idea?

Because they are absolutely right! Do it, make sure to really dial it up, constantly talk about him/her and most importantly,report back your success on using this sure fire, impossible to back fire or portray you as a sad cunt approach.
 

Dragonite

Banned
Wait what? What on earth do you have to provide as proof of being in a relationship, the other person's birth certificate or something???
Pictures of you photoshopped with a girl on Facebook, or you could hire a prostitute to hang out with you in front of your friends and tell them she's your girlfriend. You can't just tell people you are in a relationship, they will need to see pictures, otherwise they won't believe you.
 

gaiages

Banned
Pictures of you photoshopped with a girl on Facebook, or you could hire a prostitute to hang out with you in front of your friends and tell them she's your girlfriend. You can't just tell people you are in a relationship, they will need to see pictures, otherwise they won't believe you.

Ask the prostitute to take a few relationships pictures with you for an extra $25, bam
 

Salamando

Member
Pictures of you photoshopped with a girl on Facebook, or you could hire a prostitute to hang out with you in front of your friends and tell them she's your girlfriend. You can't just tell people you are in a relationship, they will need to see pictures, otherwise they won't believe you.

Protip: Prostitutes are expensive, often costing hundreds of dollars! Just hang out with a female cousin you're not facebook friends with for a cheaper alternative.
 

artsi

Member
As I thought the older girl is a bit of a slow cooker. I was afraid I'll have to carry this thing forever but things are getting better, she's acting more playful and actually asking me to do stuff now. Looks like I'll meet her kids soon too.

I think this could work after all, and I do like her :p
 
Fiiiiiiiine. On a more serious note, the Philippine girl I was seeing who ended it contacted me again and said she pretty much wants to be fwb. She was really clingy when we were going out, hugging me out of nowhere and holding onto my arm and stuff very early on so my friend is saying she probably wants more than just a fwb relationship but is just using that to get in again. I feel like she might be right and would preferably like to avoid that situation. She's even admitted to me that she's clingy with men soooo I don't know how to reject her. She sends me really dirty messages that I admit are hard to ignore.

Ive already told you what I think her secret job is, the online job you mention in a later post is a camgirl and someone warned about what hed seen these women do when he was stationed overseas. Block, delete and stay the fuck away shes got an ulteriour motive for being interested in you. She ended ot because she found another richer mark who must have got wise to her shit and now she back to you again. RUN!

The really dirty messages are another clue to her work. Shes had a lot of practice writing them.
 
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