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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Peltz

Member
We've heard this story in this topic before. Sure your not retconning the past and finally getting that cute girl from HS instead of actually having an interest in her. What she represents no who she is?
I mean... probably. Still it's a good excuse to grab a cold beer on a hot day. If she's good company, it's just a bonus.
 
I'm currently outside her apartment. We are meeting up to get some boba and hang out. It's gonna be pretty casual. But I haven't seen her in four days and as clingy as it sounds that feels too long.

We are meeting up on Saturday. Gonna spend the day in Pasadena. I was hoping to take her to Huntington Library Garden. I hear it's beautiful. But it closes early. Plus it's gonna be hotter than fuck and neither of us particularly like the sun. I'm going to take her to a Travel Book store up there and check it out, then grab some dinner. There is an Italian place up there I hear is great.

There is a Korean coffee place near by my apartment I took her too. She wants to go there again. We are gonna get gelato.

After that, I will ask her to unwind with a movie at my apartment. We'll see how it goes.
 

Peltz

Member
We've heard this story in this topic before. Sure your not retconning the past and finally getting that cute girl from HS instead of actually having an interest in her. What she represents no who she is?
Update. It was a nice date. She and talked about life and it was cool. Definitely felt no connection but it was nice catching up.

She grew into a very nice person. Glad I a few hours with her. But no chemistry on my side of things.it was a slightly awkward goodbye

She went to kiss me on the lips and I went for her cheek. Hope she wasn't offended. But yea, you were right.
 
I was only supposed to spend an hour with her getting tea.

Ended up spending like 6 hours together. Ended up blowing off my friend. She blew off her friends too though.
 

Xun

Member
Do you have her (them) on Whatsapp?

Facebook and Whatsapp share phone number information / contact lists and Facebook suggests people based on that.

WHAT? how does this work?

Facebook always suggests friends that I have their number....I would sometimes click and check out their page to see what's there publicly. How would they know I was on their page??

Apparently if someone visits your page, you might show up on their 'people you might know' list. So OP is either a stalker and thinks he got caught because of this, or the girl is the stalker hence showing up on his list.

Facebook gets your WhatsApp contact list and suggests people based on that. At least I've had that happen.
Shortly after noticing all of the girls I've chatted to/dated pop up on suggested Facebook friends, I noticed Messenger switched on "Allow access to my contacts" which I'm sure was off previously.

WhatsApp being owned by Facebook likely doesn't help either.

I should really delete old contacts...

Trust me on this one, lucky escape.
Sounds like you know from experience?

It probably is for the best then haha.
 

AllGamer

Member
Third date with this girl today. She invited me over to her place. I am actually a little nervous. I am never nervous when it comes to hookups, but it's different with this girl. I can actually see myself falling for her.
 

Peltz

Member
Third date with this girl today. She invited me over to her place. I am actually a little nervous. I am never nervous when it comes to hookups, but it's different with this girl. I can actually see myself falling for her.

3rd date dude. Relax and enjoy. That's all you gotta do.
 
Update. It was a nice date. She and talked about life and it was cool. Definitely felt no connection but it was nice catching up.

She grew into a very nice person. Glad I a few hours with her. But no chemistry on my side of things.it was a slightly awkward goodbye

She went to kiss me on the lips and I went for her cheek. Hope she wasn't offended. But yea, you were right.

Nice. I always love when that happens.

On my end, my date went well (because of course it did), since she's a scientist and we agreed about nearly everything. I'm not sure if I'm totally attracted to her (really cute face, though, and the conversation was fantastic), but I mauled her in public, so...

Gonna see her again. Same with the girl who cooked for me. I downsized the other one whom I just wasn't attracted to at all. Kinda need to find another contestant...
 
Apparently she's going to a party tonight and wants me to join.

Last night she said something like "I hope you don't get bored of me for a long time.."

Which is funny because I was thinking she was getting bored of ME.
 

Makonero

Member
Apparently she's going to a party tonight and wants me to join.

Last night she said something like "I hope you don't get bored of me for a long time.."

Which is funny because I was thinking she was getting bored of ME.

uhhhh yeah of course go

always go with a "why not?" attitude when it comes to her suggesting something (unless dangerous obviously)

and that's a good sign, keep it up
 

Peltz

Member
Apparently she's going to a party tonight and wants me to join.

Last night she said something like "I hope you don't get bored of me for a long time.."

Which is funny because I was thinking she was getting bored of ME.

Very good sign if she wants to be seen with you. You're in, dude.
 

No_Style

Member
Hey! Hi! Hello Dating-GAF. I return with a positive tale: I met someone. Some of you may recall my misfortunes between January and February of this year. (Brief recap: Met someone who I thought was amazing but got dumped a week before V-Day & thought it was my fault trying to make it official too quickly. Took it hard but recovered within a handful of hours with a first date on V-Day)

March was a crazy month for me. I was meeting and/or chatting up girls from Tinder, OKC, POF, CMB or Bumble like mad. I employed GAF’s popular advice and just kept seeing people until I was “official” with someone. It was around this time, I stopped following this thread because I felt unnecessary pressure from it. There’s a lot of great advice and perspectives here but I felt I was competing against the regulars or suddenly worrying about something that never crossed my mind before. It was information overload.

(I didn’t completely disconnect from this Dating GAF though. I kept in touch with some of you. You know who you are! Thank you!)

In the midst of the flurry of dates, I matched with someone on Tinder who I thought had a lot potential. Unfortunately due to her work schedule and bunch of other hurdles, we wouldn’t meet until a month later. I didn’t give up on her when she got busy, sick etc. I checked in once a week or so while seeing others. And boy was it worth the wait! I was instantly impressed with her. We hit the ground running conversation wise and Icame away from the first date realizing how it must feel to converse with me. Fast forward to just over a month later and we’re now official. She’s everything I want in a partner and I could not be happier!

I would also like to point out how I felt the need to drop all the other girls I was seeing shortly after the first date with my now GF. We weren’t official yet but I was so confident that I could win her over, I just didn’t feel the desire to see anyone else. I went against the popular advice and didn’t get burned this time. And I would do the same if presented with the same scenario again.

So my takeaways from the last several months:

  • Don’t give up on anything promising but make sure you don’t overdo it as well.
  • Being with someone should be near effortless and natural. I shouldn’t need to make drastic changes nor should I want drastic changes.
  • Take advice and perspectives but do your own thing. Just be aware of what the pros and cons of your options.
Thanks for the direct and indirect help, GAF!
 

Peltz

Member
I think I totally gave someone the wrong idea today. A recruiter and I met up this morning and she wanted to hear about my career aspirations over coffee. So we talked about them and the industry I'm in and it went well. It was all very formal and professional.

Then she asked me a bit about myself and I told her where I'm from and asked her the same thing, thinking this was all idle chit chat. Afterwards, she texted me and said:

"Thanks for connecting. It was so nice meeting you!."
I said:

"Likewise. Let's stay in touch. If you hear of any job opportunities I should consider, please let me know. Or feel free to reach out if you'd like to grab coffee again someday."
Then she said,
"I'd love to."

A few hours later, she then asked
"So I never asked... when's you birthday? Let's see who's older :)"

I'm kind of shocked because it's such an unprofessional question. And it feels like I wasted an hour of my time and now I may potentially have to burn this bridge... which sucks considering her clients.
 

Ron Mexico

Member
So just recently started getting the pressure from my in-laws (to-be) that they...strongly...want us to get married in a church.

My first marriage our families couldn't agree on size and logistics so we eloped. Her first marriage wasn't to her parents' liking so they didn't care (and from what I understand, threatened to skip the wedding).

I don't hate my in-laws. Hell, I don't even dislike them, but the whole church thing is a non-starter for me and I'm struggling with tactics to let them down easily without making it any more difficult on my fiancee or myself. If push comes to shove, we'll just do what we need and sign the papers in the courthouse, but I'd much prefer a more amicable answer.

Also, Leeness, since you mentioned on the last page wanting to travel and the chase for a platonic friendship-- some of my absolute best times were travelling with a platonic friend that I met after we had both divorced. Loved her (and still do) with an absolute passion-- just not in the romantic sense. Anywhere we went, we would always be asked if we were celebrating our honeymoon, anniversary, etc etc. Ultimately, on one trip I had enough and said "No, we're not married. Just here celebrating that I'm not the father." We were left alone for the rest of the trip. Bottom line is I get where you're coming from-- that friendship happened by accident for me and I'm rooting from the sidelines for you.
 
I think I totally gave someone the wrong idea today. A recruiter and I met up this morning and she wanted to hear about my career aspirations over coffee. So we talked about them and the industry I'm in and it went well. It was all very formal and professional.

Then she asked me a bit about myself and I told her where I'm from and asked her the same thing, thinking this was all idle chit chat. Afterwards, she texted me and said:

"Thanks for connecting. It was so nice meeting you!."

I said:

"Likewise. Let's stay in touch. If you hear of any job opportunities I should consider, please let me know. Or feel free to reach out if you'd like to grab coffee again someday."

Then she said,

"I'd love to."

A few hours later, she then asked

"So I never asked... when's you birthday? Let's see who's older :)"

I'm kind of shocked because it's such an unprofessional question. And it feels like I wasted an hour of my time and now I may potentially have to burn this bridge... which sucks considering her clients.

If you had cut out the sentence about grabbing coffee at any free point, she might have stayed professional instead of finding an opportunity to chat to your lovely ass ;)
 
Yep, I fucked up. Is this salvageable?
You haven't flirted, she's just assuming, so until she sends a flirty text, you don't have much of an opportunity to shut that avenue down and stick to professionalism. In reply to asking about your birthday, you could just be blunt like "I don't think that's relevant to recruiting" (or whatever you guys were on about).
 

Peltz

Member
You haven't flirted, she's just assuming, so until she sends a flirty text, you don't have much of an opportunity to shut that avenue down and stick to professionalism. In reply to asking about your birthday, you could just be blunt like "I don't think that's relevant to recruiting" (or whatever you guys were on about).

That's good but I think I need to word it more gently.
 

gaiages

Banned
I think I totally gave someone the wrong idea today. A recruiter and I met up this morning and she wanted to hear about my career aspirations over coffee. So we talked about them and the industry I'm in and it went well. It was all very formal and professional.

Then she asked me a bit about myself and I told her where I'm from and asked her the same thing, thinking this was all idle chit chat. Afterwards, she texted me and said:


I said:


Then she said,

A few hours later, she then asked

I'm kind of shocked because it's such an unprofessional question. And it feels like I wasted an hour of my time and now I may potentially have to burn this bridge... which sucks considering her clients.

Coffee idea was a bad move since that easily could have skewed her perception of you, but it's possible she's just trying to be friendly (and being awkward about it). If she starts flirting with you or whatever I'd tell you to gently tell her you aren't interested, but what's the harm in telling her your birthday? No need to burn the bridge so quickly.
 

gaiages

Banned
Hey! Hi! Hello Dating-GAF. I return with a positive tale: I met someone. Some of you may recall my misfortunes between January and February of this year. (Brief recap: Met someone who I thought was amazing but got dumped a week before V-Day & thought it was my fault trying to make it official too quickly. Took it hard but recovered within a handful of hours with a first date on V-Day)

March was a crazy month for me. I was meeting and/or chatting up girls from Tinder, OKC, POF, CMB or Bumble like mad. I employed GAF’s popular advice and just kept seeing people until I was “official” with someone. It was around this time, I stopped following this thread because I felt unnecessary pressure from it. There’s a lot of great advice and perspectives here but I felt I was competing against the regulars or suddenly worrying about something that never crossed my mind before. It was information overload.

(I didn’t completely disconnect from this Dating GAF though. I kept in touch with some of you. You know who you are! Thank you!)

In the midst of the flurry of dates, I matched with someone on Tinder who I thought had a lot potential. Unfortunately due to her work schedule and bunch of other hurdles, we wouldn’t meet until a month later. I didn’t give up on her when she got busy, sick etc. I checked in once a week or so while seeing others. And boy was it worth the wait! I was instantly impressed with her. We hit the ground running conversation wise and Icame away from the first date realizing how it must feel to converse with me. Fast forward to just over a month later and we’re now official. She’s everything I want in a partner and I could not be happier!

I would also like to point out how I felt the need to drop all the other girls I was seeing shortly after the first date with my now GF. We weren’t official yet but I was so confident that I could win her over, I just didn’t feel the desire to see anyone else. I went against the popular advice and didn’t get burned this time. And I would do the same if presented with the same scenario again.

So my takeaways from the last several months:

  • Don’t give up on anything promising but make sure you don’t overdo it as well.
  • Being with someone should be near effortless and natural. I shouldn’t need to make drastic changes nor should I want drastic changes.
  • Take advice and perspectives but do your own thing. Just be aware of what the pros and cons of your options.
Thanks for the direct and indirect help, GAF!

Glad things went well for you! :D
 

Peltz

Member
Coffee idea was a bad move since that easily could have skewed her perception of you, but it's possible she's just trying to be friendly (and being awkward about it). If she starts flirting with you or whatever I'd tell you to gently tell her you aren't interested, but what's the harm in telling her your birthday? No need to burn the bridge so quickly.

Because I'm definitely not interested and this question is completely out of left field considering we only had a professional discussion. And it's irrelevant/borderline unethical of her considering it's related to employment matters.

I just told her the date and didn't mention the year or add anything else.
 

WolfeTone

Member
I think I totally gave someone the wrong idea today. A recruiter and I met up this morning and she wanted to hear about my career aspirations over coffee. So we talked about them and the industry I'm in and it went well. It was all very formal and professional.

Then she asked me a bit about myself and I told her where I'm from and asked her the same thing, thinking this was all idle chit chat. Afterwards, she texted me and said:


I said:


Then she said,

A few hours later, she then asked

I'm kind of shocked because it's such an unprofessional question. And it feels like I wasted an hour of my time and now I may potentially have to burn this bridge... which sucks considering her clients.

Is this woman Asian? This is something I've typically been asked by Korean women. It seems age is important in determining how a relationship (platonic or romantic) should be approached. Korean coworkers and fellow students have asked me how old I am in the first conversations we've had together.

If you think it's definitely an expression of romantic interest, you're right in that you need to shut it down immediately to stave off any potential embarrassment and salvage the professional relationship. There's no easy way to do it, so just be direct and polite.
 

Peltz

Member
Is this woman Asian? This is something I've typically been asked by Korean women. It seems age is important in determining how a relationship (platonic or romantic) should be approached. Korean coworkers and fellow students have asked me how old I am in the first conversations we've had together.

If you think it's definitely an expression of romantic interest, you're right in that you need to shut it down immediately to stave off any potential embarrassment and salvage the professional relationship. There's no easy way to do it, so just be direct and polite.

She's white. Yep, I will. I said her birthday... she said hers. And hopefully that's the end of it.
 

Leeness

Member
Also, Leeness, since you mentioned on the last page wanting to travel and the chase for a platonic friendship-- some of my absolute best times were travelling with a platonic friend that I met after we had both divorced. Loved her (and still do) with an absolute passion-- just not in the romantic sense. Anywhere we went, we would always be asked if we were celebrating our honeymoon, anniversary, etc etc. Ultimately, on one trip I had enough and said "No, we're not married. Just here celebrating that I'm not the father." We were left alone for the rest of the trip. Bottom line is I get where you're coming from-- that friendship happened by accident for me and I'm rooting from the sidelines for you.

Thank you, that's very nice of you! I just travel alone though haha. It would be kind of cool to have a platonic travel buddy like that, but I can barely manage to find a platonic buddy at all. Oh well.

But thanks for the well wishes :)
 
Here is a fucked up story from last night.

We were making out. I had my glasses off and couldn't see. During a break, she was showing me pictures on facebook.

I saw a picture thumbnail and made a comment like "is that your mom?"
She was like "huh... what?"
I realized quickly it was a picture of her lol. Keep in mind I could barely see. I fumbled through a recovery and we moved on.

Still... lol could have been bad.
 
Here is a fucked up story from last night.

We were making out. I had my glasses off and couldn't see. During a break, she was showing me pictures on facebook.

I saw a picture thumbnail and made a comment like "is that your mom?"
She was like "huh... what?"
I realized quickly it was a picture of her lol. Keep in mind I could barely see. I fumbled through a recovery and we moved on.

Still... lol could have been bad.

You won't live long if you keep following that route dude.


So I don't know if you guys remember my story from some months ago, about splitting up with my 2 and a half year old gf and begin dating another girl, losing some old friends and stuff.

Anyway, some days ago I came to know by a friend that's she (my ex) is going around making herself the victim, saying that I left her (when actually, she left me saying that if I didn't go with her to a therapist we were over) and, heads up, saying that I mistreated her psycologically and that I am a manipulator because I asked her to spent more time together.

I mean, I couldn't care less since I'm happy as hell with my actual gf, but what the fuck is wrong with the people? I say the people because always that I know about some couple splitting up there's shit like this. We were 2 and al half years happyly dating together, why the hell can't we realise that things didn't work and have a pacific split up? Seriously, in the beginning of this, even though I thought that she behaved so mean with me, I wanted to still keep it cool with her, and try to be maybe not friends, but at least be able to get along each other. But fuck her, seriously, I really hate her, this is the point when I realise that she's just angry as fuck because she realised that she fucked it really bad and she's just trying to destroy my life as much as she can because she can't stand seeing that now I'm happy again, while she's burning in her own bile.

Sorry, I just wanted to vent myself. I know I shouldn't care about it, but I can't help but get angry as fuck when after how mean she was with me she even has the balls to go around saying that I'm a mistreater.
 
Just got back from a rather meh date, she was cuter in person than her photos but the conversation was rather stiff. She was nice but there were a couple awkward silences and I didn't even get a hug :(

Got two dates tomorrow, a coffee date around noon and another date in the evening grabbing drinks. Hope these flow a bit better.
 
Just got back from a rather meh date, she was cuter in person than her photos but the conversation was rather stiff. She was nice but there were a couple awkward silences and I didn't even get a hug :(

Got two dates tomorrow, a coffee date around noon and another date in the evening grabbing drinks. Hope these flow a bit better.

Don't dwell on it, just keep on going. Which you are.
 

NateDrake

Member
Here is a fucked up story from last night.

We were making out. I had my glasses off and couldn't see. During a break, she was showing me pictures on facebook.

I saw a picture thumbnail and made a comment like "is that your mom?"
She was like "huh... what?"
I realized quickly it was a picture of her lol. Keep in mind I could barely see. I fumbled through a recovery and we moved on.

Still... lol could have been bad.
Why not just say, "One moment...let me get my glasses so I can see the pictures." Even a recovery should've been as simple as "Sorry I can't see well without my glasses."
 
she realised that she fucked it really bad and she's just trying to destroy my life as much as she can because she can't stand seeing that now I'm happy again, while she's burning in her own bile.

That's my ex wife, salty as fuck I've moved on and got someone better while she's bitter and can't get a date. Best revenge is living well, laugh it off and don't let it piss you off. In all honesty staying calm and ignoring it will eventually make everyone see she is fucking nuts.
 
Why not just say, "One moment...let me get my glasses so I can see the pictures." Even a recovery should've been as simple as "Sorry I can't see well without my glasses."

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