Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Feb 14, 2005
25,072
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Denver
So I had a girl ask me out on Friday for tonight. I just sent her a message to see where she wants to meet...and she can't because she has a date.

Im not mistaking this at all, she asked me on a date...

I think I'm actually having a fucking breakdown. I can't take this crap anymore. I cannot wrap my head around why women think it's ok to treat me like this. It happens constantly.

Ever since last december when the girl I was dating no showed and I was really worried and a few minutes later I walk past her and some guy making out. Someone else had to come explain to me that that was her REAL boyfriend and she went out with me because he wouldn't commit to going exclusive and I was her leverage... This was just a few hours after I gave her the best gift I had ever come up with. She had started playing D&D so I got her a dice box with her name engraved on it.

Since then I've been stood up 3-4 times all by different women, cancelled on when I had already gotten to a meeting place at least a half dozen times. I'm ranting now but I've had it. I'm tired of being alone and treated like this and ignored and written off.

I'm too old for this shit .

I wouldn't treat anyone this way and sure as hell not if it was MY IDEA to go out.

I'm actually worried that I'm going to snap at someone start a fight.

Sorry for posting this but I don't have anywhere else to unload. I'm not even going to read responses because I'm pissed off.

Being nice, respecting other people and yourself. Actually listening and caring and planning around someone else's needs doesn't mean shit.
 
Oct 26, 2008
6,695
0
0
New York, NY
So, a small update, basically from last thread, i had my first date ever with the girl from tinder. That went nowhere in the end. She was not interested.

But then a few days later a girl wrote me on Facebook.
Said i looked good. (warning bell number one) Thing is i only noticed she wrote me like 11 days later.

So anyhow, this was the first time a girl showed interest in me, so after a full day of chatting we met the next day, which was yesterday.

We had lunch at a nice lake side resort. A slipped in the question about what you think is the right way to pay for the meal on the first date. She said that in her opinion the guy pays for both at a first date. (warning bell number two) On any later dates, splitting of the check is possible.

So anyway, after lunch, we drove some 20 km further to the sea side. I had also a picnic basket with me, with a good Italian wine, some cheese and prosciutto to go with it.
We strolled some ways through the sea side forest until we wound a secluded table where i laid out the contents of the picnic basket, and she said that she was not expecting anything of the sort, and she was very pleasantly surprised. (this was basically my first REAL date, went out on a limb, and i guessed i did it right).

So we talked some, drank the wine, and i am terribly shy, although the wine helped me in the end. She was very direct about what she wanted me to do, after a while of her bumping my leg with hers, i finally got the courage to embrace her with one arm as she was sitting next to me, and told her that she would have to teach me as i dont really know how to kiss. And from there on out the rest of the date was mostly spent in us kissing, she was really aggressive about this as well. (alarm bell number three). now i am not that prejudiced, but in my opinion she is really in a hurry. i dont know if there is anything hidden behind it and i will not speculate further at the moment. But yeah, driving back from letting her off at her place my stomach hurt, weirdly, like never before,, and i had a massive case of blue balls -_-. The evening and most of today, was spent chatting with her, we meet Tuesday again, and according to the feel i am getting she expects sex. When we meet next time. Jeez. Oh well, for now i will play along, but out of caution im not going to totally loose my head because of her. Some things make me a bit vary. But i am happy about any experience i get from this if i do get burned later on.

Will probably update after Tuesday.

http://i.imgur.com/71CZTBgl.jpg[/ img]

Oh and she has been slipping in various bits of information that i have been keeping track off like its a Persona game or a visual novel, lol, dont wanna mess up if she asks anything related to these things,[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE][IMG]http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/107/432/i_hug_that_feel.png
I experienced it myself only a few days ago when I went on a super good date two days ago which I'm too lazy to cross-post (sorry Zackie :p). It sounds similar to my aforementioned date except that I have a good amount of kissing experience under my belt at this point and have been on many, many dates at this point. Seriously though, blue balls is a terrible thing to go through. I imagine you toughed it out by letting time pass.

I agree with gwailo about going with the flow since the "warning bells" didn't sound like warning bells at all; on the contrary, those were some damn good signs. A girl with more experience is exactly what you need. I hope you don't end up turning down sex at the last minute on the next date when she practically wants to tear your clothes off. Go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Looking forward to the next update.

Been lurking in this new thread for the past few days. The Online Dating thread shout got me all smiles like the famous Bolt and DeGrasse bromance moment. My only update that I mentioned in the Online Dating thread is that I have a second date on Monday with the aforementioned girl which I think is going to go pretty damn well according to my magic 8 ball. :D
 
Apr 20, 2007
1,453
0
865
Cincinnati, OH
So, a small update, basically from last thread, i had my first date ever with the girl from tinder. That went nowhere in the end. She was not interested.

But then a few days later a girl wrote me on Facebook.
Said i looked good. (warning bell number one) Thing is i only noticed she wrote me like 11 days later.

So anyhow, this was the first time a girl showed interest in me, so after a full day of chatting we met the next day, which was yesterday.

We had lunch at a nice lake side resort. A slipped in the question about what you think is the right way to pay for the meal on the first date. She said that in her opinion the guy pays for both at a first date. (warning bell number two) On any later dates, splitting of the check is possible.

So anyway, after lunch, we drove some 20 km further to the sea side. I had also a picnic basket with me, with a good Italian wine, some cheese and prosciutto to go with it.
We strolled some ways through the sea side forest until we wound a secluded table where i laid out the contents of the picnic basket, and she said that she was not expecting anything of the sort, and she was very pleasantly surprised. (this was basically my first REAL date, went out on a limb, and i guessed i did it right).

So we talked some, drank the wine, and i am terribly shy, although the wine helped me in the end. She was very direct about what she wanted me to do, after a while of her bumping my leg with hers, i finally got the courage to embrace her with one arm as she was sitting next to me, and told her that she would have to teach me as i dont really know how to kiss. And from there on out the rest of the date was mostly spent in us kissing, she was really aggressive about this as well. (alarm bell number three). now i am not that prejudiced, but in my opinion she is really in a hurry. i dont know if there is anything hidden behind it and i will not speculate further at the moment. But yeah, driving back from letting her off at her place my stomach hurt, weirdly, like never before,, and i had a massive case of blue balls -_-. The evening and most of today, was spent chatting with her, we meet Tuesday again, and according to the feel i am getting she expects sex. When we meet next time. Jeez. Oh well, for now i will play along, but out of caution im not going to totally loose my head because of her. Some things make me a bit vary. But i am happy about any experience i get from this if i do get burned later on.

Will probably update after Tuesday.



Oh and she has been slipping in various bits of information that i have been keeping track off like its a Persona game or a visual novel, lol, dont wanna mess up if she asks anything related to these things,
Yikes dude.... all that for a girl that wrote to you on Facebook? A simple invite to a gastro pub for a drink, extending to dinner is where I'd start. It sounds like you're setting yourself up to be hurt if you can't duplicate those feels on every date. I also thought it was pretty much expected that the man pays on the date, not sure how that's a warning sign. Anyways, good luck man hope things go well on date 2.
 
Sep 26, 2010
2,447
0
0
So I had a girl ask me out on Friday for tonight. I just sent her a message to see where she wants to meet...and she can't because she has a date.

Im not mistaking this at all, she asked me on a date...

I think I'm actually having a fucking breakdown. I can't take this crap anymore. I cannot wrap my head around why women think it's ok to treat me like this. It happens constantly.

Ever since last december when the girl I was dating no showed and I was really worried and a few minutes later I walk past her and some guy making out. Someone else had to come explain to me that that was her REAL boyfriend and she went out with me because he wouldn't commit to going exclusive and I was her leverage... This was just a few hours after I gave her the best gift I had ever come up with. She had started playing D&D so I got her a dice box with her name engraved on it.

Since then I've been stood up 3-4 times all by different women, cancelled on when I had already gotten to a meeting place at least a half dozen times. I'm ranting now but I've had it. I'm tired of being alone and treated like this and ignored and written off.

I'm too old for this shit .

I wouldn't treat anyone this way and sure as hell not if it was MY IDEA to go out.

I'm actually worried that I'm going to snap at someone start a fight.

Sorry for posting this but I don't have anywhere else to unload. I'm not even going to read responses because I'm pissed off.

Being nice, respecting other people and yourself. Actually listening and caring and planning around someone else's needs doesn't mean shit.

Take a deep breath and calm down. First thing is never buy women gifts unless you're actually together. It also seems like you're allowing these types of women to stand you up or flake out.

If a woman starts making excusing right before the date then just take back the offer. Say something like "you sound busy. Why don't you let me know the next time you're available and we'll schedule a date." This puts the ball in her court and her actions will then tell you if she is interested. Don't text call and see if she responds. The greatest negotiation tactic is the willingness to walk away.

For the girl that asked you out you should have set the date, time and place right then. If she agrees right there then she is probably interested. If she backs out by saying she already has a date just do what I mentioned above. Play it cool and show no anger. She should not dictate your life or how you feel. You don't even really know her and you as a man control your life.
 
Oct 30, 2015
3,122
0
0
Los Angeles, CA
Been trading a bit more with this girl on match.com and she enthusiastically agreed to coffee, which is great. Very smart, super cute, really my type (at least online, of course)

Not great: if going by her twitter, I have a feeling there might be a delay due to some personal things that came up later that day. She hasn’t brought that up yet, likely something to do with her pet(s), but we’ll see how she comes back. I’m in no rush but don’t want her to fade away either.

Either way I gave her my avails this weekend and next and recommended a place I already know she’d be down for, will let her deal with real life stuff but good signs on her last message overall.



Meanwhile,Coffee meets Bagel….

That app is unstable as fuck. Logs me out every day, takes forever to load and I have to force-quit every time it locks up.

I may have to bail on it solely because of that, which is super-shitty. There’s as many tech problems with CmB as there are girls putting “love to laugh” in their dating profiles.
 
Oct 30, 2015
3,122
0
0
Los Angeles, CA
So is Match worth it? I've been using tinder, okcupid, and pof, but there's just not a lot of options, and even fewer that I'm even interested in
I try to cover a lot of bases and use multiple apps/sites, but some drop to the side if I make some connections. Match is just what's working for me at the moment. Tinder isn't my bag, though. OkCupid, Zoosk (sometimes) Geek2Geek, Coffee Meets Bagel...I'm across them all because 80-90% of matches you're going to Pass on.
 
That moment when you go to your phone the morning after getting a women's number and realise she didn't put in a sufficient number of digits....ouch!

I don't get it. My female friend brings her out for drinks and says earlier on in the night that she should go out with me, I thought it was a clear stitch up. She even went to a different bar with me (and another dude) and stuck around for a drink when the other dude left (so it was just me and her for a bit).

Retracing my steps where this could have fallen over, I am now questioning if I was calling her by the wrong name, haha....Carole or Karen, too damn similar.
 
Aug 9, 2007
1,414
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0
That moment when you go to your phone the morning after getting a women's number and realise she didn't put in a sufficient number of digits....ouch!

I don't get it. My female friend brings her out for drinks and says earlier on in the night that she should go out with me, I thought it was a clear stitch up. She even went to a different bar with me (and another dude) and stuck around for a drink when the other dude left (so it was just me and her for a bit).

Retracing my steps where this could have fallen over, I am now questioning if I was calling her by the wrong name, haha....Carole or Karen, too damn similar.
or it could have been a mistake! Same thing happened to me a few years ago.
 
Feb 18, 2008
18,574
0
0
Canada
7-digit number
Assume she gave you 6 digits
7 possible spots for that
10 possible numbers for each spot (should be less since there are impossible phone number combinations)

So, at most, 70 possible phone number combinations. Start dialing.

Oh, and times 2 since you'll need to disguise your voice and ask for a different name. :p
 
or it could have been a mistake! Same thing happened to me a few years ago.
I have been the culprit of entering the digits incorrectly before, so I know it happens.

However, there was some hesitation from her when I asked for her number. I thought she was just trying to seem less keen than she was after we had a decent conversation. The old "uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm, sure" when I asked for her number.

I sent a message to my female friend asking what's up, so the mystery will be solved one way or another soon.
 
7-digit number
Assume she gave you 6 digits
7 possible spots for that
10 possible numbers for each spot (should be less since there are impossible phone number combinations)

So, at most, 70 possible phone number combinations. Start dialing.

Oh, and times 2 since you'll need to disguise your voice and ask for a different name. :p
Haha. There are 10 digits in Australian mobile numbers. I honestly think there are only 9 possible numbers given the format it enters in my phone (four digits, space, three digits, space, then two digits instead of three).

As I said, if it was a mistake, I'll know soon enough and report back when I do.
 
Aug 9, 2007
1,414
0
0
I have been the culprit of entering the digits incorrectly before, so I know it happens.

However, there was some hesitation from her when I asked for her number. I thought she was just trying to seem less keen than she was after we had a decent conversation. The old "uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm, sure" when I asked for her number.

I sent a message to my female friend asking what's up, so the mystery will be solved one way or another soon.
oh in that case yeah, probably not interested. don't necessarily think it was because you did something "wrong" though. In the past week alone I've had one fantastic date and one pretty miserable date. It happens.
 
So I had a girl ask me out on Friday for tonight. I just sent her a message to see where she wants to meet...and she can't because she has a date.

Im not mistaking this at all, she asked me on a date...

I think I'm actually having a fucking breakdown. I can't take this crap anymore. I cannot wrap my head around why women think it's ok to treat me like this. It happens constantly.

Ever since last december when the girl I was dating no showed and I was really worried and a few minutes later I walk past her and some guy making out. Someone else had to come explain to me that that was her REAL boyfriend and she went out with me because he wouldn't commit to going exclusive and I was her leverage... This was just a few hours after I gave her the best gift I had ever come up with. She had started playing D&D so I got her a dice box with her name engraved on it.

Since then I've been stood up 3-4 times all by different women, cancelled on when I had already gotten to a meeting place at least a half dozen times. I'm ranting now but I've had it. I'm tired of being alone and treated like this and ignored and written off.

I'm too old for this shit .

I wouldn't treat anyone this way and sure as hell not if it was MY IDEA to go out.

I'm actually worried that I'm going to snap at someone start a fight.

Sorry for posting this but I don't have anywhere else to unload. I'm not even going to read responses because I'm pissed off.

Being nice, respecting other people and yourself. Actually listening and caring and planning around someone else's needs doesn't mean shit.

Take a deep breath and calm down. First thing is never buy women gifts unless you're actually together. It also seems like you're allowing these types of women to stand you up or flake out.

If a woman starts making excusing right before the date then just take back the offer. Say something like "you sound busy. Why don't you let me know the next time you're available and we'll schedule a date." This puts the ball in her court and her actions will then tell you if she is interested. Don't text call and see if she responds. The greatest negotiation tactic is the willingness to walk away.

For the girl that asked you out you should have set the date, time and place right then. If she agrees right there then she is probably interested. If she backs out by saying she already has a date just do what I mentioned above. Play it cool and show no anger. She should not dictate your life or how you feel. You don't even really know her and you as a man control your life.
Agreed with this. You need to take control and not be a pushover. You need to realize that until you've met up a couple times, it's basically meaningless. Getting gifts for them? Oh hell no.
 
Aug 9, 2007
1,414
0
0
man if someone treats you like that right at the outset they are doing you a favor. It's basically a way to filter them out and I wouldn't waste a second more on someone who treated me like that. Don't think it's just girls doing this too, there are plenty of guys out there being shitheads.
 
Jan 4, 2012
4,900
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Me "so I asked your friend for her number and she gave me a fakey! What's up with that?"
Friend "hehe sorry I shouldn't laugh...oh well...I think she might be seeing someone"

oh well indeed. I don't believe she is seeing anyone but I know she isn't interested at least.
I asked some chick for her number and told me she got a boyfriend and then she went on to say just add me on facebook instead!

Me:

I was frozen for like fraction of a second and didn't know what to say.. I think said I don't facebook and just use it for tinder.. Something like that.

She could be bullshtting me or not or just not interested but damn these mixed messages.. Like make up your mind girl.
 
You know that butterfly feeling. I really hate that. Is there a way to turn it off?
Go on more dates.

I asked some chick for her number and told me she got a boyfriend and then she went on to say just add me on facebook instead!

Me:

I was frozen for like fraction of a second and didn't know what to say.. I think said I don't facebook and just use it for tinder.. Something like that.

She could be bullshtting me or not or just not interested but damn these mixed messages.. Like make up your mind girl.
Facebook probably means she wants to stay friends, but has no romantic intentions. I'd move on.
 
Feb 22, 2011
4,123
0
0
New Zealand
So I met a guy around 3 months ago, didn't work out so we split up around a month ago. Shit happens huh. Anyway i met a guy on Monday for dinner and we had an awesome time, no lulls in the conversation and he's legitimately interesting. Met him again today and we went shopping and went for a walk. I sat down and he started to massage me. I got a fright and jumped up and I think he got a bit frightened he upset me so he took me home. I'm so annoyed at myself and am wondering what to do from here? Should I just explain I legitimately wanted him to do it. I just wasn't expecting it that's all? I would love a third date with him so want to make sure he knows I am interested.
 
Aug 21, 2010
1,954
0
0
So I met a guy around 3 months ago, didn't work out so we split up around a month ago. Shit happens huh. Anyway i met a guy on Monday for dinner and we had an awesome time, no lulls in the conversation and he's legitimately interesting. Met him again today and we went shopping and went for a walk. I sat down and he started to massage me. I got a fright and jumped up and I think he got a bit frightened he upset me so he took me home. I'm so annoyed at myself and am wondering what to do from here? Should I just explain I legitimately wanted him to do it. I just wasn't expecting it that's all? I would love a third date with him so want to make sure he knows I am interested.
Yep, talk to him. If he thinks you're a weird spazz nothing can be done there. GOOD LUCK :D

Also, kinda weird just to start massaging someone on the second date unless the mood was set. I don't think you're in the wrong for reacting the way you did, but you just could have said "sorry, continue". Sounds like you were nervous.
 
Its funny 'cause its true

I asked some chick for her number and told me she got a boyfriend and then she went on to say just add me on facebook instead!

Me:

I was frozen for like fraction of a second and didn't know what to say.. I think said I don't facebook and just use it for tinder.. Something like that.

She could be bullshtting me or not or just not interested but damn these mixed messages.. Like make up your mind girl.
Did you add her on facebook? You should be able to see pretty quickly via facebook if she was with someone.

So I met a guy around 3 months ago, didn't work out so we split up around a month ago. Shit happens huh. Anyway i met a guy on Monday for dinner and we had an awesome time, no lulls in the conversation and he's legitimately interesting. Met him again today and we went shopping and went for a walk. I sat down and he started to massage me. I got a fright and jumped up and I think he got a bit frightened he upset me so he took me home. I'm so annoyed at myself and am wondering what to do from here? Should I just explain I legitimately wanted him to do it. I just wasn't expecting it that's all? I would love a third date with him so want to make sure he knows I am interested.
What sort of massage? Was it on the shoulders or feet (have you ever seen pulp fiction)?

It seems weird but where were you when it occurred - out in public on a bench (what your story sounds like) or were you back at his place?

The dude is probably sitting at home worried he messed up and wont get another chance. If you like him tell him what you just said " I just wasn't expecting it but I would love a third date".
 
Oct 31, 2011
46,389
0
0
UK
twitter.com
You know that butterfly feeling. I really hate that. Is there a way to turn it off?
Butterflies in the stomach? That's usually caused by blood rushing to other parts of the body like the brain and vital organs, and going away from the stomach. It's due to a release of adrenaline, sending blood to muscles. It's a sign either you're about to get into a fight-or-flight situation or you really like someone ;)

Your solution would be to get blood flowing back to your stomach, which I guess you could do by eating or rubbing your belly? heh
 
So I met a guy around 3 months ago, didn't work out so we split up around a month ago. Shit happens huh. Anyway i met a guy on Monday for dinner and we had an awesome time, no lulls in the conversation and he's legitimately interesting. Met him again today and we went shopping and went for a walk. I sat down and he started to massage me. I got a fright and jumped up and I think he got a bit frightened he upset me so he took me home. I'm so annoyed at myself and am wondering what to do from here? Should I just explain I legitimately wanted him to do it. I just wasn't expecting it that's all? I would love a third date with him so want to make sure he knows I am interested.
Just keep quiet. I'm sure it'll work itself out.

/s

Just casually let him know what happened and that it's no big deal. Why didn't you do that when it happened?
 
Feb 22, 2011
4,123
0
0
New Zealand
Yep, talk to him. If he thinks you're a weird spazz nothing can be done there. GOOD LUCK :D

Also, kinda weird just to start massaging someone on the second date unless the mood was set. I don't think you're in the wrong for reacting the way you did, but you just could have said "sorry, continue". Sounds like you were nervous.
Yeah. I was nervous, I find him really attractive physically but also as a person so it's hard.
What sort of massage? Was it on the shoulders or feet (have you ever seen pulp fiction)?

It seems weird but where were you when it occurred - out in public on a bench (what your story sounds like) or were you back at his place?

The dude is probably sitting at home worried he messed up and wont get another chance. If you like him tell him what you just said " I just wasn't expecting it but I would love a third date".
Shoulders we were in public. I messaged him and just explained I didn't expect it but I wanted him to continue.

Just keep quiet. I'm sure it'll work itself out.

/s

Just casually let him know what happened and that it's no big deal. Why didn't you do that when it happened?
Should clarify I'm a guy too so obviously guy on guy in public can be a bit risky. That's why I got such a fright. I am not good at reading feelings honestly. So I didn't click til I got home what transpired. I've messaged him and explained I'm all good with him touching me but ideally in private just to be safe. It sucks but I have to be practical.

Anyway he said he'd love to see me again. So I'll make my move I suppose.
 
Aug 17, 2011
29,342
1
0
So went on this set-up double date last night, and the girl was incredibly sweet. I actually ended up wishing I was just out with her, as we had to sideline getting to know each other for talking to the rest of the group. I guess that's the best outcome!

Arranging a date for later this week, really quite exciting :)
 
Should clarify I'm a guy too so obviously guy on guy in public can be a bit risky. That's why I got such a fright. I am not good at reading feelings honestly. So I didn't click til I got home what transpired. I've messaged him and explained I'm all good with him touching me but ideally in private just to be safe. It sucks but I have to be practical.

Anyway he said he'd love to see me again. So I'll make my move I suppose.
Figured you were guys, but didn't think about the safety angle. Sounds like you did the right thing in explaining! 👍

What kind of gift?
A passport holder with my name on it. It was odd.
 
I asked some chick for her number and told me she got a boyfriend and then she went on to say just add me on facebook instead!

Me:

I was frozen for like fraction of a second and didn't know what to say.. I think said I don't facebook and just use it for tinder.. Something like that.

She could be bullshtting me or not or just not interested but damn these mixed messages.. Like make up your mind girl.
How is that a mixed message?
 
May 28, 2013
7,499
4
0
St. Ivalice
Your solution would be to get blood flowing back to your stomach, which I guess you could do by eating or rubbing your belly? heh
I browsed GAF for several hours and a sandwich followed by sleep. Seems to have worked. All my big mistakes have happened while feeling that butterfly effect. Is there a way to prevent it? It's annoying because I know it's just a biological push for companionship despite lack of familiarity.
 
I browsed GAF for several hours and a sandwich followed by sleep. Seems to have worked. All my big mistakes have happened while feeling that butterfly effect. Is there a way to prevent it? It's annoying because I know it's just a biological push for companionship despite lack of familiarity.
Stay away from time machines and Ashton Kutcher films
 
Haha. I'm used to calling it that though I know there's probably some official name for it.
"Butterflies in your stomach"

But as I said, date more people. You'll stop feeling nervous and anxious, until you've met "the one."

Did anything happen with this person?
Went out a couple times, not really attracted to her, left the country and she gave me small presents to take to my mom and sisters. Very weird. I don't think she dates much. I blocked her on everything, but she Instagram stalks me occasionally, asking when I'm coming back to her city. 😬
 

War Peaceman

You're a big guy.
Sep 24, 2009
6,993
1
0
"Butterflies in your stomach"

But as I said, date more people. You'll stop feeling nervous and anxious, until you've met "the one."



Went out a couple times, not really attracted to her, left the country and she gave me small presents to take to my mom and sisters. Very weird. I don't think she dates much. I blocked her on everything, but she Instagram stalks me occasionally, asking when I'm coming back to her city. 😬
Probably a gaffer.

Also, if you didn't have that nervous tension before asking/going for a date, then it wouldn't be as fun. You just wouldn't care. That is the stage I am at right now. Very uninspired!
 
Probably a gaffer.

Also, if you didn't have that nervous tension before asking/going for a date, then it wouldn't be as fun. You just wouldn't care. That is the stage I am at right now. Very uninspired!
Oh, I care. I just don't get nervous, really. Definitely excited, but not cripplingly so. Until I see it's going somewhere, I try not to get too invested.
 
Jul 20, 2015
2,949
0
325
California
No vaguebooking. What happened?
It's stuff pertaining to my behavior.

Pretty much mentally ghosted a girl when we met up again. I mentioned that I was interested in getting back in shape and dating, so I asked a girl that knew that I liked her out.

We ran into each other unexpectedly, so that's when I decided to just try my luck and see how it turns out. When we ran into each other, I didn't feel like anything was wrong, but when we met for the second time, I just lost my attraction all of a sudden. I noticed that I was withdrawing from talking once I realized, so I went to the bathroom on the other side of the restaurant to get it together.

I came back and it turns out she just left.

The problem is that she was a good friend to me, and I've done stuff like this before to friends and her. I guess she didn't want to put up with it.

All I know is that seeing her look the way she did really made me think. I need to work on being a better friend before trying to date.

It doesn't help that a mutual friend of ours called me an asshole in front of her the last time I saw her, so that may have had an impact.
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
Jan 27, 2012
5,155
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I'll be ok i think, after 27 years of being alone, if that happens i think ill be able to get over it. I might have over dramatized somewhat about the whole keeping notes thing. I am not that creepy.
It's creepy imo. You are putting way too much effort on someone you only met once.
 
Jul 20, 2015
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Don't date friends, then. Keep it separate, then ghosting/breaking up has less real-world consequences.

Also, don't date until you're ready. Don't do it just because you think you should be.
It's just that my two closest friends back in my old town asked me why I haven't bothered dating while out for drinks.

It sucks, but you're right. I don't really have the characteristics of a datable person right now, but I get so curious about how some girls would be to date, especially my friends.

I still have to work on not being a physically ghosting asshole first, which will be lots of work considering how I've become.

Fuck, it sucks realizing this.
 
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