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[SMT]

Girl 1: Do girls take it personally if you had a great conversation with them during a class and don't ask for their numbers?

I can get it next time, but do they hurt if I don't ask for it after our magnificent rapport? I can feel the aura of failure in them when I don't ask.

-------------

Girl 2: On another note, I talked to this girl briefly, I complimented her, she seemed interested, started asking questions in the hopes of trying to find things we have in common, she said 'oh I'm specializing in that too'. After my first honours wasn't compatible, she clings to my second major as our bridge.

The professor starts talking and I shifted my attention to him as a sign that we can't talk anymore. Was that a dick move by me?

Finally, when leaving, I said her name, and she smiles and says bye, without saying my name lol. (Never had this happen, ever!) How did she forget my name? I said her name wrong and she corrected me when we were introducing ourselves.

We part ways, making sure not to cross paths because of how strange I ended the conversation with a gaze to the prof. Well, I felt awkward, don't know about her.

Suddenly, barely a minute after I left the class, I run into her again at the opposite end of the building, she's entering a hall, and I'm exiting, we both notice each other and raise our brows, she opens the door wide open for me (she made the effort to hold the bloody door all the way, challenging its hinges while walking away and stretching her arm, woah!), and as she walks away I utter 'hey, thanks' like an idiot, what the hell gaf?

Pretty awkward bra, if you asked me, I was trying to avoid her beauty, get her number next time as I inadvertently brushed her off because of my looking at the prof, and we had little time to get on friendlier terms.

Critiques friends, what should I do going into the situation next time?

I don't feel like I failed, but missing the number is really getting to me, as you're always supposed to ask on the first meeting, but it was a half-assed break meeting.

 

[soultron]

Talking in third person makes your post really difficult to comprehend. Do less of this because, in your case, it seems to encourage self-deprecating humour.

Please re-write your post for readability.

 

[SMT]

Talking in third person makes your post really difficult to comprehend. Do less of this because, in your case, it seems to encourage self-deprecating humour.

Please re-write your post for readability.

Done. I try to make my posts of this nature funny, sometimes I forget it's not just to me.

 

[soultron]

You're over analysing things a lot, SMT. Also stressing too much.

Just ask her for the number next time you get chatting. Try not to feel too defeated since you didn't this time -- just resolve to change things the next time you see her.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Girl 1: Do girls take it personally if you had a great conversation with them during a class and don't ask for their numbers?

I can get it next time, but do they hurt if I don't ask for it after our magnificent rapport? I can feel the aura of failure in them when I don't ask.

-------------

Girl 2: On another note, I talked to this girl briefly, I complimented her, she seemed interested, started asking questions in the hopes of trying to find things we have in common, she said 'oh I'm specializing in that too'. After my first honours wasn't compatible, she clings to my second major as our bridge.

The professor starts talking and I shifted my attention to him as a sign that we can't talk anymore. Was that a dick move by me?

Finally, when leaving, I said her name, and she smiles and says bye, without saying my name lol. (Never had this happen, ever!) How did she forget my name? I said her name wrong and she corrected me when we were introducing ourselves.

We part ways, making sure not to cross paths because of how strange I ended the conversation with a gaze to the prof. Well, I felt awkward, don't know about her.

Suddenly, barely a minute after I left the class, I run into her again at the opposite end of the building, she's entering a hall, and I'm exiting, we both notice each other and raise our brows, she opens the door wide open for me (she made the effort to hold the bloody door all the way, challenging its hinges while walking away and stretching her arm, woah!), and as she walks away I utter 'hey, thanks' like an idiot, what the hell gaf?

Pretty awkward bra, if you asked me, I was trying to avoid her beauty, get her number next time as I inadvertently brushed her off because of my looking at the prof, and we had little time to get on friendlier terms.

Critiques friends, what should I do going into the situation next time?

I don't feel like I failed, but missing the number is really getting to me, as you're always supposed to ask on the first meeting, but it was a half-assed break meeting.

I think you're over-thinking everything. Maybe I didn't read it close enough but literally nothing stood out to me that sounded like a bad move.

Just seems like normal, cordial conversation/interaction really.

 

[soultron]

I think you're over-thinking everything. Maybe I didn't read it close enough but literally nothing stood out to me that sounded like a bad move.

Just seems like normal, cordial conversation/interaction really.

Yeah, you said it much better than I did, luckyboyceo.

 

[Bruiserk]

Girl 1: Do girls take it personally if you had a great conversation with them during a class and don't ask for their numbers?

I can get it next time, but do they hurt if I don't ask for it after our magnificent rapport? I can feel the aura of failure in them when I don't ask.

-------------

Girl 2: On another note, I talked to this girl briefly, I complimented her, she seemed interested, started asking questions in the hopes of trying to find things we have in common, she said 'oh I'm specializing in that too'. After my first honours wasn't compatible, she clings to my second major as our bridge.

The professor starts talking and I shifted my attention to him as a sign that we can't talk anymore. Was that a dick move by me?

Finally, when leaving, I said her name, and she smiles and says bye, without saying my name lol. (Never had this happen, ever!) How did she forget my name? I said her name wrong and she corrected me when we were introducing ourselves.

We part ways, making sure not to cross paths because of how strange I ended the conversation with a gaze to the prof. Well, I felt awkward, don't know about her.

Suddenly, barely a minute after I left the class, I run into her again at the opposite end of the building, she's entering a hall, and I'm exiting, we both notice each other and raise our brows, she opens the door wide open for me (she made the effort to hold the bloody door all the way, challenging its hinges while walking away and stretching her arm, woah!), and as she walks away I utter 'hey, thanks' like an idiot, what the hell gaf?

Pretty awkward bra, if you asked me, I was trying to avoid her beauty, get her number next time as I inadvertently brushed her off because of my looking at the prof, and we had little time to get on friendlier terms.

Critiques friends, what should I do going into the situation next time?

I don't feel like I failed, but missing the number is really getting to me, as you're always supposed to ask on the first meeting, but it was a half-assed break meeting.

How is that idiotic?

 

[LightOfTruth]

Holy fucking shit I fucked up big time today. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! There was this girl that sat next to me in my engineering class (first day of classes) and she was INSANELY hot, like wtf how is this possible. I had the perfect opportunity to introduce myself and ask her name at least, but for some reason I didnt. I really dont know why. Im not a shy person, usually very confident. In fact she even laughed at a couple of jokes I made towards the professor (Im kind of a class clown, ffs my classes would be boring as fuck otherwise). WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ???!!!

Problem is our next class is a lab, so she probably wont be sitting next to me again, meaning I'll have to wait until next week. And I really dont want to wait that long, lol.

 

[snoopen]

Problem is our next class is a lab, so she probably wont be sitting next to me again, meaning I'll have to wait until next week. And I really dont want to wait that long, lol.

Don't care. Next time you see her whether in class or not, sitting next to you or 10m away go up and introduce yourself and make some small talk. Such a good opportunity to talk before or after class, break the ice and grab some coffee/food.

 

[LightOfTruth]

Don't care. Next time you see her whether in class or not, sitting next to you or 10m away go up and introduce yourself and make some small talk. Such a good opportunity to talk before or after class, break the ice and grab some coffee/food.

Im not going to lie to you, I dont like this. It has never been like that for me. Usually the girl will initiate the conversation or when I do, its so completely natural. I never go out of my way like that in this type of setting.

 

[Hypereides]

Im not going to lie to you, I dont like this. It has never been like that for me. Usually the girl will initiate the conversation or when I do, its so completely natural. I never go out of my way like that in this type of setting.

Youre both going to the same Uni right? Odds are you will eventually run into her again, then act naturally from there.

Dont stress yourself, if you missed your first shot. The likelihood of another encounter (chance) is 90+%.

 

[LightOfTruth]

Youre both going to the same Uni right? Odds are you will eventually run into her again, then act naturally from there.

Dont stress yourself, if you missed your first shot. The likelihood of another encounter (chance) is 90+%.

Yeah I know, I just really wish I did something when I had the chance. As I said I dont even want to wait a week lol.

 

[tri_willy]

Went to a salsa class for the first time in my life last night... and this is a gold mine, damn!

Plenty of beatiful girls and most of them pretty open to talk, teach the movements and dance with you. I'm a total newbie (and dance like a wooden stick) and the class was intermediate level so I was pretty lost but had a lot of fun (changing your partner in the wheel dance made for a lot of lol moments)

There was one bitc.. girl though that reproached me for not having enough level to dance with her. She didn't dance with me in the wheel dance and told me that I should go to Wednesday class because it's for beginners. I did apologise and told her "I'll come back another Tuesday and give you a dance that will make you change your underwear afterwards".

So tonight I'll go again and start doing my best to keep my promises ;P

For the people asking where to go to find/interact with women... go to salsa classes. Seriously.

 

[Hypereides]

Yeah I know, I just really wish I did something when I had the chance. As I said I dont even want to wait a week lol.

Well The Uni probably has something like a cantine, library and outdoor area. That creates alot of possibilities for random encounters.

...And dude.

Seriously.

Chillax.

Dont be so infatuated by her. If you keep building it up, you'll eventually lose your cool when you meet her. Eventually you'll get more anxious than you are right now... Just focus on your study and dont overthink it. Its gonna work against you if you dont show the patience.

 

[LosDaddie]

You'll be forever alone with that attitude. You got to not just enjoy, but love every second of being single. You have to love yourself and place yourself on a pedestal not any woman. 99.9% of women don't deserve to be with you, that should be your mentality. A relationship isn't something you can buy at a store or search for. Besides, who gives a fuck if you're single? Im single and loving every minute of it. I can hang out who I want to, talk to who I want to, go where I want, bang who I want, do what I want at any given time. It's the most freedom you will ever have and the one point in your life you won't have any drama. Besides dude, why do you need a girlfriend? Sex? Are you an animal? Like I said man, I'm being harsh because I used to be the same way. "Oh look Valentine's day single yet again fml" was my thinking. Trust me dude. Be the best you can possibly be, be the smartest you can possibly be, be the funniest you can possibly be, be the nicest guy you can possibly be, and be the most confident guy on the face of the earth. If a woman doesn't want to be with you after that, she is fucking dumb anyway.

While I understand why you responded to Kinggi this way, I dunno, dude, I think you're a bit too extreme there. I certainly wouldn't approach 99% of the women I meet as them not being good enough to be with me. Maybe I read that wrong, but very few guys can pull off that kind of smug attitude and still pull pussy on the regular. Don't get me wrong, I understand being confident and not "settling" for the first slut who spreads her legs for you, but it's best not to approach anyone, let alone females, with a "better than thou" attitude.

Your post reminds me of my cousin-in-law who swears up & down that she is perfectly happy being single. Yet all she does when we see her is talk about guys. :lol

Being single has its benefits, sure, but being in relationship can be awesome, too. And of course, sex is amazing, and definitely a reason to have a lady.

Yeah I know, I just really wish I did something when I had the chance. As I said I dont even want to wait a week lol.

Electrical Engineer here. You're in an engineering class with this girl. There will be other opportunities to talk to her. In fact, try to get her to join your study group.

Also, not that it will make you feel better, but (when I was single) I always assumed every hot lady is in a relationship (because they usually are). But I'd still chat with her regardless. She'll let you know if she's in a relationship, or not, pretty quickly.

 

[Coalission]

Holy fucking shit I fucked up big time today. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! There was this girl that sat next to me in my engineering class (first day of classes) and she was INSANELY hot, like wtf how is this possible. I had the perfect opportunity to introduce myself and ask her name at least, but for some reason I didnt. I really dont know why. Im not a shy person, usually very confident. In fact she even laughed at a couple of jokes I made towards the professor (Im kind of a class clown, ffs my classes would be boring as fuck otherwise). WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ???!!!

Problem is our next class is a lab, so she probably wont be sitting next to me again, meaning I'll have to wait until next week. And I really dont want to wait that long, lol.

If she's insanely hot then there's a 95% chance she's taken, and if you start coming onto her she'll quickly let you know. Women always find a way to inject the fact that they have a boyfriend into any conversation. "Oh you're majoring in Finance? Nice, my boyfriend's good with money." Really, woman?

In all honesty, you don't sound confident enough to handle an insanely hot chick right now, just let that little friendship develop into whatever it is but I wouldn't think about her too much. Just having her be a close buddy will do wonders for your ego. You'll walk around the halls talking with some hot chick and other women/girls will notice.

 

[LightOfTruth]

Well The Uni probably has something like a cantine, library and outdoor area. That creates alot of possibilities for random encounters.

...And dude.

Seriously.

Chillax.

Dont be so infatuated by her. If you keep building it up, you'll eventually lose your cool when you meet her. Eventually you'll get more anxious than you are right now... Just focus on your study and dont overthink it. Its gonna work against you if you dont show the patience.

Basically what Im going to do. I know how to keep my cool, definitely. You have to understand though, she was crazy hot, lol.

Electrical Engineer here. You're in an engineering class with this girl. There will be other opportunities to talk to her. In fact, try to get her to join your study group.

Also, not that it will make you feel better, but (when I was single) I always assumed every hot lady is in a relationship (because they usually are). But I'd still chat with her regardless. She'll let you know if she's in a relationship, or not, pretty quickly.

Im going to assume the same.

Also, I must say, I'm a bio-engineering major, and I'm quite surprised at the number of of pretty girls in my class. Very pleasant. Didnt think engineering could provide the goods.

If she's insanely hot then there's a 95% chance she's taken, and if you start coming onto her she'll quickly let you know. Women always find a way to inject the fact that they have a boyfriend into any conversation. "Oh you're majoring in Finance? Nice, my boyfriend's good with money." Really, woman?

In all honesty, you don't sound confident enough to handle an insanely hot chick right now, just let that little friendship develop into whatever it is but I wouldn't think about her too much. Just having her be a close buddy will do wonders for your ego. You'll walk around the halls talking with some hot chick and other women/girls will notice.

lol at this.

Finding out if she's taken will basically be my mission next week. Im going to make sure none of my friends sit in the seat she sat in last time, lol. And if she doesnt initiate contact this time I will, though I wont do it at all if it isnt natural. I dont 'come on' to girls in this type of setting.

And dude, Im usually confident. I swear. Maybe Im just used to girls initiating contact with me. Understand that this is a rare fuck up. I dont know why I couldnt talk to her though. I choked, but it wont happen again if the opportunity presents itself, again. And if she does have a bf, Ill be cool with that too. However as you say, Im going to try and become friends at least, it could help in the future.

 

[Minamu]

Anyone have that cartoon "explaining" how to get women to respond on dating sites? Couldn't find it in the last thread

 

[Atramental]

Anyone have that cartoon "explaining" how to get women to respond on dating sites? Couldn't find it in the last thread

http://neogaf.net/forum/showpost.php?p=34187601&postcount=19785

This one?

 

[BeautifulMemory]

http://neogaf.net/forum/showpost.php?p=34187601&postcount=19785

This one?

Lol I have always wondered about that

 

[Minamu]

http://neogaf.net/forum/showpost.php?p=34187601&postcount=19785

This one?

Yes! Thanks, I need to send it to a friend.

Edit: Atramental: Is that you in that picture? Don't take it the wrong way but you need to stop having problems

 

[J-Roderton]

Met this chick last week at a party through a friend. Talked for a bit and introduced myself. No biggie. Night went on and we all split because cops showed up or some shit. I never grabbed a number or anything, which has me in the position of how in the hell do I get in contact with her? She goes to college about 25 minutes from mine. I can't just text her like "Hey I got your number from your friend." That's just kinda creepy to me and probably not a good idea at all.

Anyway, I think she's pretty cool and not bad looking at all. I have no idea how to go about this. I've been out of the game for quite some time.

 

[Loki]

So, a mod said I should post this in this new thread instead:

Here's a practical question for those who are in or have been in relationships:

I've been with my GF for a year now. A friend of hers is getting married in April in Mexico, and she wants me to go with her. Now, this will cost me $1000-1500 (not sure exactly, but that's the range). I've met this friend of hers twice for a couple of hours each time. I want to know what the accepted etiquette is here - am I expected to go? Is it okay if I say I can't (or, more accurately, don't want to) swing it financially? Should I say that I'm not comfortable spending that sort of dough to attend the wedding of people I barely know?

The only reason I ask this, really, is because we are also going on vacation in March, which itself will run me $1500-2000+. Now, if it were one or the other I wouldn't even be asking this question, but while I can afford it and make good money, I'm not comfortable with spending $3K+ in two months' time, especially when I barely know her friend to begin with.

Any of you been a similar situation? How did you handle it? What is the commonly accepted behavior in such a circumstance?

 

[AuthenticM]

Last fall I took tango lessons and met this hot chick. I'm trying to take her out on a date but she's making it hard as she keeps her guard up all the time. She's ten years older than me and it icks her. I'm not done trying though.

 

[Houston3000]

http://neogaf.net/forum/showpost.php?p=34187601&postcount=19785

This one?

Ha, I know it's a joke but I'm pretty sure most girls HATE messages like that.

 

[LosDaddie]

So, a mod said I should post this in this new thread instead:

Here's a practical question for those who are in or have been in relationships:

I've been with my GF for a year now. A friend of hers is getting married in April in Mexico, and she wants me to go with her. Now, this will cost me $1000-1500 (not sure exactly, but that's the range). I've met this friend of hers twice for a couple of hours each time. I want to know what the accepted etiquette is here - am I expected to go? Is it okay if I say I can't (or, more accurately, don't want to) swing it financially? Should I say that I'm not comfortable spending that sort of dough to attend the wedding of people I barely know?

The only reason I ask this, really, is because we are also going on vacation in March, which itself will run me $1500-2000+. Now, if it were one or the other I wouldn't even be asking this question, but while I can afford it and make good money, I'm not comfortable with spending $3K+ in two months' time, especially when I barely know her friend to begin with.

Any of you been a similar situation? How did you handle it? What is the commonly accepted behavior in such a circumstance?

1) You would be going solely for your GF, not her friend. That is key to remember. So yes, you are expected to go because your GF is going. That is how relationships work when a friend is getting married. Also, women in relationships absolutely HATE attending weddings alone.

2) An easy out in your situation is to tell her you can't afford both trips. Unless she knows your finances, she won't be able to call your bluff, and should understand your position. Tell her you can only go to one.


Again, remember that you'd be going for your GF, not her friend. That is how your GF is approaching the situation/wedding, not that her friend wants you there. I can guarantee that. It's best not to bring up the "I barely know her" argument.

 

[Atramental]

Yes! Thanks, I need to send it to a friend.

Edit: Atramental: Is that you in that picture? Don't take it the wrong way but you need to stop having problems

All of my problems are underneath that cap I am wearing.

My brain and the hairless head that encases it.

 

[BeautifulMemory]

Ha, I know it's a joke but I'm pretty sure most girls HATE messages like that.

When I first moved to NYC my roommate (very attractive girl) was on OKCupid for a month or so... around the same time I joined. We bounced a lot back and forth between one-a-another in terms of 'sizing up the competition' so to speak. I also helped her understand messages she got (she's Russian and sometimes doesn't always 100% 'get' american humor or sarcasm as quickly). Anyways, the main thing I noticed is the shear amount of messages she received - like if she didn't clear her inbox every other couple nights or so it would be full! She could read one message, get done, press refresh, and two new ones were up. Needless to say, she really only ever read maybe 15-20% of them, and only if the little profile picture looked decent. On the same token she automatically skipped or deleted (in bulk) all the short messages that said "you're hot" or even simply, "you're beautiful". Then, if she read the message and thought the guy didn't sound totally stupid she'd do an INTENSE examination of every one of their pictures, and drill down on all the details in their profile trying to find something they had in common before even considering writing back.

I know not all girls are that picky but it gave me a lot of insight. Because of that I never sent an initial message to more than a handful of girls ever... I only replied to messages I received. I got buku dates from that site, a few stuck for a couple months. I really don't think it's good practice to message girls unless you find an absolute key interest in common (no, not that you both like Radiohead or both watched The Big Lebowski)

Thanks for sharing. It's tough man. I guess it's kind of a serious business because I can't even get someone to write back to chat, not like "hey let's meet" immediately.

I thought itd be easier to write someone who looked at my profile first. No luck

 

[SMT]

Yeah, that's what happens when you don't sleep, there's a tendency to over-analyze things.

But she's real pretty, so I guess that helps.

As to why I thought I was acting silly, I said 'hey thanks' to her back when she was walking away, I expected her to turn around and say no problem, but she just continued her route.

I might have a different ideal of courtesy anyway.

 

[Sanky Panky]

So, a mod said I should post this in this new thread instead:

Here's a practical question for those who are in or have been in relationships:

I've been with my GF for a year now. A friend of hers is getting married in April in Mexico, and she wants me to go with her. Now, this will cost me $1000-1500 (not sure exactly, but that's the range). I've met this friend of hers twice for a couple of hours each time. I want to know what the accepted etiquette is here - am I expected to go? Is it okay if I say I can't (or, more accurately, don't want to) swing it financially? Should I say that I'm not comfortable spending that sort of dough to attend the wedding of people I barely know?

The only reason I ask this, really, is because we are also going on vacation in March, which itself will run me $1500-2000+. Now, if it were one or the other I wouldn't even be asking this question, but while I can afford it and make good money, I'm not comfortable with spending $3K+ in two months' time, especially when I barely know her friend to begin with.

Any of you been a similar situation? How did you handle it? What is the commonly accepted behavior in such a circumstance?

Yeah make the trip to Mexico your vacation. If she reeeeeeally wants to go on the other vacation, the ball is in her court. As for expected behavior, she'll hold a grudge against for a loooooong time if you make her go alone to the wedding. If she insists you spend money on the second trip, when it is the financially irresponsible thing to do, it's a big red flag.

 

[Minamu]

All of my problems are underneath that cap I am wearing.

My brain and the hairless head that encases it.

The cap looks cool though Bald guys can look really cool too, imho. I keep my hair as close to bald as possible for the most part, of pretty much the opposite reason as you have for being insecure about being bald. So I sort of know where you're coming from, perhaps.

 

[woodchuck]

All of my problems are underneath that cap I am wearing.

My brain and the hairless head that encases it.

I started losing my hair at like age 20. buzzed it all the way. now i go out with hotter girls than before.

it's not the hairless head that's the problem.

 

[jasonng]

I started losing my hair at like age 20. buzzed it all the way. now i go out with hotter girls than before.

it's not the hairless head that's the problem.

To add, it's the confidence you gain because then it becomes YOUR choice and not on some fate.

 

[woodchuck]

To add, it's the confidence you gain because then it becomes YOUR choice and not on some fate.

yeah, i sort got in a funk as i was losing my hair. but once I decided to buzz it, I had a renewed confidence even though I may not look as good as I did before.

Atramental is a good looking dude. It's all in his head.

 

[Anticitizen One]

I'm 27 living at home not bad looking but suffer from huge confidence issues because of my housing dilemma. I can't move out right now because I don't have a job and when I do I plan to save up so I can go to school. What can I do?

 

[luckyboyceo]

Holy fucking shit I fucked up big time today. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! There was this girl that sat next to me in my engineering class (first day of classes) and she was INSANELY hot, like wtf how is this possible. I had the perfect opportunity to introduce myself and ask her name at least, but for some reason I didnt. I really dont know why. Im not a shy person, usually very confident. In fact she even laughed at a couple of jokes I made towards the professor (Im kind of a class clown, ffs my classes would be boring as fuck otherwise). WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ???!!!
Problem is our next class is a lab, so she probably wont be sitting next to me again, meaning I'll have to wait until next week. And I really dont want to wait that long, lol.

I had this happen to me the other day. Not sure what it was, I just choked. It was weird.

Usually doesn't happen as I'm normally very confident, but for some reason my mind just went blank. You're not alone.

Yeah, that's what happens when you don't sleep, there's a tendency to over-analyze things.

But she's real pretty, so I guess that helps.

As to why I thought I was acting silly, I said 'hey thanks' to her back when she was walking away, I expected her to turn around and say no problem, but she just continued her route.

I might have a different ideal of courtesy anyway.

Once again dude, you're over-thinking it.

Next time just talk to her naturally and don't worry about every little detail. I guarantee it will work out better for you.

 

[Cubsfan23]

....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TTZzlZVdl8w

 

[LightOfTruth]

Wow....there are zero, and I mean ZERO, hot girls in my calc 2 class. That's 0/100.


Disappointing.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Wow....there are zero, and I mean ZERO, hot girls in my calc 2 class. That's 0/100.


Disappointing.

You might be surprised. Sometimes they come out of nowhere.

 

[SMT]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNVdkKZ6inM&feature=related

Stop pursuing women by asking numbers? Umm? S'cuse me bro.

 

[Coalission]

So, a mod said I should post this in this new thread instead:

Here's a practical question for those who are in or have been in relationships:

I've been with my GF for a year now. A friend of hers is getting married in April in Mexico, and she wants me to go with her. Now, this will cost me $1000-1500 (not sure exactly, but that's the range). I've met this friend of hers twice for a couple of hours each time. I want to know what the accepted etiquette is here - am I expected to go? Is it okay if I say I can't (or, more accurately, don't want to) swing it financially? Should I say that I'm not comfortable spending that sort of dough to attend the wedding of people I barely know?

The only reason I ask this, really, is because we are also going on vacation in March, which itself will run me $1500-2000+. Now, if it were one or the other I wouldn't even be asking this question, but while I can afford it and make good money, I'm not comfortable with spending $3K+ in two months' time, especially when I barely know her friend to begin with.

Any of you been a similar situation? How did you handle it? What is the commonly accepted behavior in such a circumstance?

If you don't want to go, don't go. There's nothing else to really say. It's a tough spot because I don't know how close of a friend it is, but a year into a relationship, there shouldn't be anyone more important in her life than you. I mean, you're basically in primetime right now, and you should be the center of her universe.

Ask her to start carrying some of the load and start chipping in, maybe you cover this trip and then she covers the trip in March. You can't let your girl have it both ways because this is how you get them used to wanting vacations every few months, you footing the bill, and them just dropping you like a bad habit when they get bored.

You could also just tell her you "probably" won't go, just to gauge the situation. You could always change your mind later, but if you rock her world the way you should be, she may just say "blah I won't go either, we're not that close". Unless it's a lifelong friend or something...

 

[Coalission]

I hope this is sarcasm because that's straight up false.

Define "insanely hot". Sounds like 9s and 10s to me, won't find too many single ones and when they're out there they get jumped on quickly, not to mention they tend to monkey-branch.

 

[Atramental]

yeah, i sort got in a funk as i was losing my hair. but once I decided to buzz it, I had a renewed confidence even though I may not look as good as I did before.

Atramental is a good looking dude. It's all in his head.

I do buzz it but I've got another issue I have to deal with...

At the back of my skull, on the top right side I've got this indentation that's very noticeable. And I'm currently saving up some money to get it corrected. This was not a problem when I had a full head of hair because that flaw was easily covered up. So that's another thing that's constantly on my mind.

Also, about my confidence. I had confidence issues even before I lost my hair and now that my hair is gone I've been stuck in this extremely low confidence rut for 4 years now. And even though I'm starting to work out again I still feel like crap on a regular basis.

I think the most common thought that crosses my mind on a daily basis is "What's the point?"

Also, all this low self confidence is effecting my school work as well. I get my work done on time and I get good grades but my motivation levels are at rock bottom.

ugh... I just don't know anymore. I'm rambling...

 

[LightOfTruth]

Define "insanely hot". Sounds like 9s and 10s to me, won't find too many single ones and when they're out there they get jumped on quickly, not to mention they tend to monkey-branch.

She's like a 9.5 dude. Ridiculously gorgeous.

So your attitude when seeing a 9-10 girl is to just assume that she's taken or that somebody better than you will win her over instead of you? Bad attitude to have.

You have to approach every girl the same. Why limit yourself? Especially because the percent of taken "insanely hot girls" is nowhere near as high as you claim.

Yes, this is what I do. Again, why I choked, Im not 100% sure. It wont be happening again.

However, regardless of hotness level, I always assume a girl is taken until I learn otherwise, in this type of setting. Is this wrong?

 

[Coalission]

So your attitude when seeing a 9-10 girl is to just assume that she's taken or that somebody better than you will win her over instead of you? Bad attitude to have.

You have to approach every girl the same. Why limit yourself? Especially because the percent of taken "insanely hot girls" is nowhere near as high as you claim.

Not saying not to approach them, just saying most of them are taken, whether they decide to tell you right away or until they are sure there's no future with you. Many of them will never tell you, and the fading relationship they had will just disappear and you will never know about it, but the other guy will be one of those guys who are convinced their ex-girl met someone new and that's why they broke up.

As far as the percentage, just a figure of speech. Replace it with "most", "99.9%", "a shitload", etc...I understand the whole thing about having the right attitude and not limiting yourself, just saying...beautiful women aren't in the habit of just walking around single and available. They're out there, but the number is much smaller than you think.

 

[DualShadow]

However, regardless of hotness level, I always assume a girl is taken until I learn otherwise, in this type of setting. Is this wrong?

Isn't it better to assume a girl is single until you learn otherwise?

That's the way I play it anyways.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Well fuck. I was talking to her today on fb just before I left work, just a normal conversation. Then she brought up this get together in Seattle I had invited her to because I had noticed it in my events list. She then got sort of upset because she had never been invited to Seattle events before we started going out (our group does Seattle things fairly often). So she said it bothered her that she only got invited because I'm interested in her, like she wasn't worth hanging out with unless someone was trying to get with her. I did the best I could do in response, but I mean how can I respond to that? Its things in the past that I can't do anything about and what's my alternative? Not invite her to Seattle things? That's not going to happen. I can say that there are things that she wasn't invited to because there's an IRC channel that almost of our group hangs out in, except her, and many things get planned there. She also doesn't really know our Seattle friends because she never went to any of these events in the first place. So now I feel like a jerk even though there really isn't anything I can do about it at this point. I feel like the only fix on this is her getting over it.

 

[Hypereides]

She's like a 9.5 dude. Ridiculously gorgeous.

Imagine her playing a 2 player match of battleshit at the girls toilet, in stall next to a friend, squeezing out a generous cleeveland steamer into the toilet or better yet making an audible fart in the class.

Relax man, shes still human.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNVdkKZ6inM&feature=related

Stop pursuing women by asking numbers? Umm? S'cuse me bro.

Yeeeeea.. thats not exactly right. I dont understand why some of you listen to this dude.

What I think hes trying to say is not to spend time on time-wasters. I.e girls that respond with a lack of enthusiasm, or just really dont sound that into you when you ask for their number.

Once you start going out with alot of women you'll start taking note of those signs.

 

[tranciful]

Well fuck. I was talking to her today on fb just before I left work, just a normal conversation. Then she brought up this get together in Seattle I had invited her to because I had noticed it in my events list. She then got sort of upset because she had never been invited to Seattle events before we started going out (our group does Seattle things fairly often). So she said it bothered her that she only got invited because I'm interested in her, like she wasn't worth hanging out with unless someone was trying to get with her. I did the best I could do in response, but I mean how can I respond to that? Its things in the past that I can't do anything about and what's my alternative? Not invite her to Seattle things? That's not going to happen. I can say that there are things that she wasn't invited to because there's an IRC channel that almost of our group hangs out in, except her, and many things get planned there. She also doesn't really know our Seattle friends because she never went to any of these events in the first place. So now I feel like a jerk even though there really isn't anything I can do about it at this point. I feel like the only fix on this is her getting over it.

She sounds immature.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Met this really cute asian chick in my class tonight. I could tell she was interested in me because she knew my name and we had never spoken before.

She actually invited me to a get together with her friends afterwards. She explained a little more about it, and I realized it was a bible study... UGH. I told her I was busy and that maybe I'd join her next week.

I'll probably give it a try as an opportunity to find out more about her. Hopefully she's a little more relaxed than the last girl, who was also a bible nerd. I guess that's what I get for going to a religious college.