Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

#51
Guess I'll throw a wall of shame up from the last thread.

We almost made it Artsi.
Fuck me...
Then again, I had over 1000 in the previous OT. Had to scale it way back after I saw that. I think I doubled the #2 poster.


Bitch-ass Vern didn't even chart tho. 😊🍆💦💦💦
 
#54
RIP Megalo. Hope his ban wasn't long.

I know there isn't a consensus on when to say 'I love you', but when if ever have you guys said it? My girlfriend has been pushing me to say it for a while in some subtle and not so subtle ways.
I mean if you've been with her for a couple of months I'd say it's ok to say it. Like just saying it randomly throughout the day is pretty much gonna catch her completely off guard if she's not expecting it from you. Just say it if she's doing something for you like cooking or something.
 
#55
I had a fun evening with miss police, I'd say it was great even. Movie night at home never lets me down.

She went home for the night, we both have work tomorrow, but we'll see again this weekend.

Guess I'll throw a wall of shame up from the last thread.

We almost made it Artsi.
Ohh damn :(
 
#56
I mean if you've been with her for a couple of months I'd say it's ok to say it. Like just saying it randomly throughout the day is pretty much gonna catch her completely off guard if she's not expecting it from you. Just say it if she's doing something for you like cooking or something.
3 months so far. I think she's getting slowly more upset that I haven't. She hasn't officially said it but I'm pretty sure she's waiting for me to spill it first.
 
#57
3 months so far. I think she's getting slowly more upset that I haven't. She hasn't officially said it but I'm pretty sure she's waiting for me to spill it first.
A few girlfriends ago we watched The Notebook together and I cried at the end then told her I loved her. She didnt say it back. I cried harder.
 
#58
Yay new thread!

I'm in a LDR, and my boyfriend is moving next week to the west coast. He'll be a lot closer to me (only a few hours drive away rather than several hours on a plane).

I'm excited to see him!
 
#60
So been on multiple first dates this month and I can't get a 2nd. Clearly it's something to do with my personality, is it okay to send this message to somebody I went on a date with

" I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay! I have just had that happen a few times lately and wanted to get your take on anything that might have gone wrong that I could change. Was there any specific things that made you uninterested? Thanks for helping! "

Basically I'm good enough to get dates can't get more than that, I have no idea why. We'll I think i know, I lack flirting skills and just come across as kinda platonic but it would be nice to get feedback.

Well got a response
Genuinely it wasn't anything specific. I had a nice time, as I said the other night you're a good conversationalist (I'm not sure that's actually a word but I'm going with it). It's just one of those times where there's just that spark missing.
Yup exactly what I thought No sparks. I genuinely don't know what to do. I've lost, weight dressed better just out of ideas, if any gaffer's could help it be great.
 
#61
She eventually said it though. We were together about 4 years. That movie just hits me right in the tear ducts.


So been on multiple first dates this month and I can't get a 2nd. Clearly it's something to do with my personality, is it okay to send this message to somebody I went on a date with

" I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay! I have just had that happen a few times lately and wanted to get your take on anything that might have gone wrong that I could change. Was there any specific things that made you uninterested? Thanks for helping! "

Basically I'm good enough to get dates can't get more than that, I have no idea why. We'll I think i know, I lack flirting skills and just come across as kinda platonic but it would be nice to get feedback.

Well got a response


Yup exactly what I thought No sparks. I genuinely don't know what to do. I've lost, weight dressed better just out of ideas, if any gaffer's could help it be great.
I dont really see any harm in asking someone that question although I wouldnt expect anyone to be too brutally honest with you.

Ive been on a whole lot of dates this summer and wasnt really feeling any kind of spark with any of them beyond being interested in a second meetup. In all my time dating over the past 15 years there were only 3 that I felt any kind of immediate spark with. And those were the ones I got in relationships with.

Dont beat yourself up over it. The right one just hasnt come along yet. Just keep trying to make little improvements where you can. Dont let it rock your confidence or anything. Just keep at it. Fresh clothes, fresh haircuts, exercise. Good conversation topics. They can all help but the most important thing is meeting someone who likes you for who you are.

You have to be able to be yourself as long as youre not being a pervert or anything. Or not talking about yourself the whole time.
 
#63
So been on multiple first dates this month and I can't get a 2nd. Clearly it's something to do with my personality, is it okay to send this message to somebody I went on a date with

" I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay! I have just had that happen a few times lately and wanted to get your take on anything that might have gone wrong that I could change. Was there any specific things that made you uninterested? Thanks for helping! "

Basically I'm good enough to get dates can't get more than that, I have no idea why. We'll I think i know, I lack flirting skills and just come across as kinda platonic but it would be nice to get feedback.

Well got a response


Yup exactly what I thought No sparks. I genuinely don't know what to do. I've lost, weight dressed better just out of ideas, if any gaffer's could help it be great.
Do your dates feel like two platonic friends getting to know each other, or do they *feel* like dates?
 
#67
I never understood the stigma with boys crying... Like it really shouldn't matter.
Im a man tho. :p

It really doesnt. I just like to keep my tough guy cred amongst my other guy friends.

Its really just one of those more private things I dont share often. Its the same reason why messofanego said he shouldnt laugh but he did. Its embarassing.
 
#68
Im a man tho. :p

It really doesnt. I just like to keep my tough guy cred amongst my other guy friends.

Its really just one of those more private things I dont share often. Its the same reason why messofanego daid he shouldnt laugh but he did. Its embarassing.
Just to be clear, I only laughed at the "I cried harder" part cause it read like a punchline. Not that a dude cried. I'm all about dudes getting to express themselves more than just anger. Crying is good, it's cathartic. Sorry if I made you feel embarrassed :(
 
#69
I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay!
This message is not okay to send. Ask yourself honestly: are you cool? Would you date yourself? The simple ingredients to attraction are confidence, humor, and looks.

Often confidence is just a lack of self consciousness. Do you equivocate? Are you self effacing? Are you not sure of yourself? True confidence can't be faked either. When you're not confident, you can't just layer something over that because it'll be transparent and you just look cocky. It's also easier to be confident in yourself when you actually have things to be confident in. Maybe this is a career or a talent. Fill in the blanks here.

I said humor, but more generally I mean charm. Jokes go here. If you're not naturally jocular, this is hard to learn. But you can also compensate a lack of jokes with other endearing behaviors. Make someone feel special; even if you have to fake it, be interested in who someone is. Acknowledge their challenges. Small amounts of flattery are wonderful, but don't over do it and end up looking impotent and servile instead. Smile.

Don't just dress well. Signal who you are by how you dress. Value and in-group signalling is extremely important in our culture, and if you try to date out of your in-group, you'll just have a bad time anyway.

So work on all this stuff and don't be a eunuch by asking wimpy questions to girls like that.
 
#70
Just to be clear, I only laughed at the "I cried harder" part cause it read like a punchline. Not that a dude cried. I'm all about dudes getting to express themselves more than just anger. Crying is good, it's cathartic. Sorry if I made you feel embarrassed :(
Its all good homes. I didnt take it bad. I was looking for a laugh. Thats why I worded it that way :)

Its still a little embarassing to talk about crying like a baby over a movie and telling your gf that you love her and she doesnt reciprocate so you cry more.

I dont think its funny when guys cry but I think that story is funny.
 
#73
3 months so far. I think she's getting slowly more upset that I haven't. She hasn't officially said it but I'm pretty sure she's waiting for me to spill it first.
I feel like you should. Before my last relationship. I used to tell my GF I loved her as much as she wanted to hear, and she loved it. Too bad she got drunk and fucked someone at a party.
 
#85
So been on multiple first dates this month and I can't get a 2nd. Clearly it's something to do with my personality, is it okay to send this message to somebody I went on a date with

" I know that our date didn't end in sparks and that is okay! I have just had that happen a few times lately and wanted to get your take on anything that might have gone wrong that I could change. Was there any specific things that made you uninterested? Thanks for helping! "

Basically I'm good enough to get dates can't get more than that, I have no idea why. We'll I think i know, I lack flirting skills and just come across as kinda platonic but it would be nice to get feedback.

Well got a response


Yup exactly what I thought No sparks. I genuinely don't know what to do. I've lost, weight dressed better just out of ideas, if any gaffer's could help it be great.
Nah, don't send that message. Lol

What kind of dates are we talking here? Dinner, lunch?
 
#90
I thought for sure she was going to say it back. She just looked at me and was like "awww thats so sweet"
😭😭😭
Simp Level 1,000,000

Have you guys or gals ever heard of this Tom Leykis guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x52q-Ir2M-Y

does he offer legit advice? Seems like more redpill crap
He's still in business? Jesus.
He's hypermasculine and redpillish, as the kids say these days. "Never hold her purse" kind of advice.
I never hold my girlfriend's purse
 
#93
Lol its ok. She ended up saying she loved me a few weeks later and we lived together for a long time after that. It was a shitty first "love you" but it worked out. We broke up in the end because her career required her to travel a lot and I didnt feel like doing the LDR for 6 months out of the year for like 5 more years.

She actually lives across the street from me now. But shes got a baby and a baby daddy. We dont say hi to each other when we see each other which is wierd because we broke up on good terms and kept in touch for a long time after.

Dont bother me none tho. Its just a little awkward when I see her and her man at the grocery store and she avoids me like the plague. Shes the one I was talking about with the dog we had together who still remembers me when she sees me.

I tried reaching out to her a while back to see how she was doing but it seems shes blocked me on all social media and my phone number and stuff.
 
#94
Never understood what the big deal over men crying is. Dad was one of those macho Mexican men and he would tell me about how to carry myself like a man but he always said everyone needs to let it out and that it shouldn't be a big deal if a friend cries in front of me.

But I've definitely seen women rag on their boyfriends or their guy friends over crying. Shit is lame as fuck.
 
#96
But I've definitely seen women rag on their boyfriends or their guy friends over crying. Shit is lame as fuck.
It's rough as fuck. I remember crying once when some friends were present (everyone was fairly emotional or nearly crying, rough time) and one girl looked shocked that I was so upset and stopped talking to me. Some people are just weird.

Edit: haha I remember that dog story lookatmego, it's great that he is still so stoked to see you.