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Dating while being a gamer. Starting over at 40, and how women view men who play video games.

lachesis

Member
Jun 17, 2004
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What's wrong with mountain hiking?
Not sure really. Perhaps they think of it is the "old people thing"... with a lot of "cheating" happening within that mountain hiking clubs, which is actually true.

You think? I'd imagine it would look pretty similar. Except for some of the weird shit like calligraphy and "tea ceremony", whatever the fuck that is.

I guess you are right in general. I know many gf/wives don't like their men going out for golfing in U.S. on the weekends. In Asia, it's rich man's sport, much more so than U.S. - so I think it's ranked way too high over there... but I do think women prefer their men to have those hobbies that "elevates" their own social status ($$$) somehow, added w/ somewhat strong, and gentleman-ish masculinity traits.
 

Tiamat2san

Member
Jul 3, 2016
1,695
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France
There are women who accept and like videos games.
All women are not feminists.

I am 45 and my wife is 29.
It’s possible, don’t lose hope.
I met my wife at a party, a colleague tried to date her but it didn’t went the way he thought ^^
a few month later we were together.

Once covid is past us it will be easier.
 
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TastyPastry

Member
May 16, 2019
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Sounds like classic narcissism.

she was definitely narcissistic and had a weird social media addiction especially for a 26yo woman. i just don't see how playing games for a couple hours is a bigger waste of time than spending your time on instagram thinking about how many likes you get but for some reason women don't get called out for it. why do male nerds get shit for playing video games when the vast majority of women don't have any productive or healthy hobbies either? go on tinder right now all you get is profiles with the same nonsense: wine/food lover, loves traveling and hiking. yet the same women would rather die than spending a night in a tent somewhere in nature.

what i also noticed with my ex and lots of other women i've interacted with, lots of them claim they have hobbies or interests but none of them are really passionate about the things they do. my ex definitely didn't go to the gym because she loves fitness as a sport. gamers get shit on but at least a lot of them have a real passion and love for videogames and they can talk for hours about certain games. i would really love to meet a woman who has a real passion for something that she does in her spare time instead of doing things because going to the gym is just what trendy people do after work. i wouldn't even care what it is, that you are passionate about. just something,... anything. something you can have a conversation about. my ex always told me she looooves fashion and that was her main interest but she couldn't even tell different fabrics apart. having fashion as a hobby just meant spending money on clothes to her. how is that better than a dude collecting anime figurines? at least the guy probably loves the anime the figurine is based on and can tell you which studio made it, if the dub or the sub is better or whatever.

i don't want to talk shit about all women however. because the relationship i was in before went on for 3 years and it was fucking awesome (until she broke up with me because she wanted to move back to a different country and i wasn't ready and too poor to marry her back then). no she wasn't a gamer aside from playing animal crossing on occasion but she respected me enough to not shit on my hobbies. we had some interests we shared and other stuff we both did just for ourselves. it didn't work out but even today i'm still grateful that thanks to her i know how a good relationship can and should be like and if you want my advice OP, if you're not spending 6 hours a day in front of a console (that should just be reserved for very special days) and you got your shit together never ever drop your hobbies for a woman. it will only lead to misery and depression.

anyway sorry for ranting and sorry if i made any mistakes, english is not my first language but i hope i got my point across
 
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Porcile

Member
Oct 23, 2012
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What's wrong with mountain hiking?

For some reason people in Japan can be super super into hiking and do it pretty much every week without fail. I think the vast majority of dating women probably just don't want to do it so frequently. On the other hand I know couples who also basically hike or ride bikes every single week.
 

nush

Gold Member
Oct 16, 2017
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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
i just don't see how playing games for a couple hours is a bigger waste of time than spending your time on instagram thinking about how many likes you get but for some reason women don't get called out for it.

My mum would say I was wasting time playing videogames, I told her I was actually doing something (puzzle solving eye/hand coordination skills) while she would just sit all afternoon passively watching old movies and soap operas on TV all day. She also claimed my console was using lots of electricity and making the bill more expensive. Yeah sure, a device that uses 8/9 volts is really going to make a difference.

My last girlfriend would also mildly complain about me playing games as a wast of time until I pointed around the room of the house I brought and said "You know videogames paid for all of this right?". That always shut her up.
 
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DeafTourette

Older than air but younger than the foundations of the earth
Apr 23, 2018
5,890
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Two of my best friends are women in their 40s who game, are into geek stuff and outdoorsy AF!

THEY'RE out there. You just have to look.

And yes, I KNOW they game and into geek stuff. We've hung out many times IRL. They're both in relationships ... Down to Earth but not pushovers. Both black.
 

Hatemachine

Banned
Mar 7, 2021
297
583
455
My mum would say I was wasting time playing videogames, I told her I was actually doing something (puzzle solving eye/hand coordination skills) while she would just sit all afternoon passively watching old movies and soap operas on TV all day. She also claimed my console was using lots of electricity and making the bill more expensive. Yeah sure, a device that uses 8/9 volts is really going to make a difference.

My last girlfriend would also mildly complain about me playing games as a wast of time until I pointed around the room of the house I brought and said "You know videogames paid for all of this right?". That always shut her up.
Are you a streamer or what?
 

mekes

Member
Jun 30, 2013
3,102
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London, UK
My girl follows Justin Wong on IG because I told her to. And she pops her head around the door when I’m playing a game to say “hadoken hadoken.” If I don’t play anything for a while she will ask why I’m not, so I think she understands and accepts it is a genuine hobby of mine. I’ve been in more relationships with girls who get it or even own consoles than not. I think the most important thing here is that they have some good positive hobbies of their own tho. Bored anybodies generally suck (in a bad way) and sometimes depend or hope on you to provide any and all entertainment. It’s much better when those expectations are shared.
 

Tuff McNutt

Member
Jun 15, 2020
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The land of sky blue waters
pornhub.com
Online dating can be awful. If I divorced my wife, I wouldn't go that route expect for trying to get a hookup.

You have to keep in mind that OLD sites are heavily skewed in male/female ratios (it's something like 10:1) so even the less than desirable women will have tons of guys messaging them every day. So women will be extremely picky and yeah women in their 40s still think of "gamers" as shut ins who live in their parents basement.

I had a lot more success on OLD after I stopped taking it less seriously. Just get a few good pictures of yourself and write up something short and witty. Don't spend hours securitizing profiles to find the "perfect" one to message. When you do message, send something more than "hi" but don't send them your life's story either. And for god's sakes don't spend days/weeks messaging someone before you go out. If they give you lines like "I need to get to know you better" they are most likely never going to actually go out on a date.
 

Kimahri

Member
Jul 27, 2020
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I'm fine with worshipping my woman as a queen. As long as she worships me as a king.

Equality. You want special treatment,don't let the door hit you.

That said , I've never had problems. Girls have been fine with gaming, or interested themselves. I guess it depends who you are. If all you do in your free time is game, yeah, I can understand the woman. But if you are also able to fix shit around the house, take care of your family, and be the rock she says she doesn't need, then things will be different.
 

QuantumZebra

Member
Dec 5, 2013
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Atlanta, GA
I'm 35, my wife is 36. We both met on EverQuest in the early 2000's as teens... stayed in touch, and eventually she came to visit me while I was at college.

Ended up with 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some reptiles, a decade later.

That's about all I have to add, here.

*oh, it does seem like gamers/gaming as a hobby is way more normal for the 20-somethings nowadays. Being a "nerd" is cool".