Pumpkin Seeds
Member
After further research, I found that the girls on Christian dating sites are 10x better than the others. I am guessing its due to not having 3 kids and 2 rehabs. Also, no political craziness.
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Dating while being a gamer. Starting over at 40, and how women view men who play video games.
- Thread starter Shadowstar39
- Start date
After further research, I found that the girls on Christian dating sites are 10x better than the others. I am guessing its due to not having 3 kids and 2 rehabs. Also, no political craziness.
highrider
Banned
I found my wife through a dating app.
Maybe you should try a different site that makes better matches? Because if the only "matches" you see are what you describe, that's a problem. There are thousands of women out there who don't care if their partner plays games.
*EDIT*
Ignore comments like the one above me. Women obviously aren't objects and you can and will find a suitable partner.
It’s not objectifying women to suggest that perhaps a different approach is going to be better for you. I’m 53 with children, a widely varied group of people I know. Marriage is not a great deal for men. Not a great deal to invite the state in to your life. Family court fails to motivate women to behave amicably, it’s big business. Things to consider no?
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fran.fernandez
Member
I did had one gf who ask me to stop playing because it was dumb. Lols
all others were ok and mostly love the game story.
but if it was fornite, cod, mmorpg or any of those time consuming games then they all would be pretty mad imo, I would be mad with myself too lol.
I stick on short single player games or at least story based games.
Btw I stop tinder after 1000 match’s, lols. Good old times. My profile even said game developer.
all others were ok and mostly love the game story.
but if it was fornite, cod, mmorpg or any of those time consuming games then they all would be pretty mad imo, I would be mad with myself too lol.
I stick on short single player games or at least story based games.
Btw I stop tinder after 1000 match’s, lols. Good old times. My profile even said game developer.
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Winter John
Gold Member
Lol. What's your advice for the guy? Oh yeah. Sit home and cry about some fat hags rejecting him. I gave the guy the best, most realistic advice he's had so far. Go to a bar, have a few drinks, meet a chick, have a good time. It's what normal guys do.
Susurrus
Member
If you're just worried about them being "too hot" or "too rich" unless hot or rich is a turnoff for you, nothing wrong with attempting if they meet everything else. A lot of times "out of my league" is bullshit, maybe there's something that sparks, you never know.
Starlight Lotice
Member
I tried Bumble once and found nearly all of them to be living it up too much or oversell themselves. This all being within 5 mins of my area.
Sadly never dated a woman but to be honest...I don't really think I am missing out on much given how they are. I am like the Anti-Door Mat to women and could give no shits how attractive they are. I talk to them equally but honestly don't care about them.
Had a school classmate who tried the Cat and Mouse thing on me. Didn't work but asked them if they wanted to hang out in college and just got a straight No answer. No worries as I wasn't doing it out of interest but because I was hoping you matured by that point. Ah well. (They ended up dating a tool of s person and realised years down the line)
Sounds like women just get worse as they get older because they were "Played" by the Bad boys. The Pump n Dumps are just as worse as the women in morality which is likely why most women are super picky these days because of it.
Would suggest the OP to just live his life until he meets someone.
Sadly never dated a woman but to be honest...I don't really think I am missing out on much given how they are. I am like the Anti-Door Mat to women and could give no shits how attractive they are. I talk to them equally but honestly don't care about them.
Had a school classmate who tried the Cat and Mouse thing on me. Didn't work but asked them if they wanted to hang out in college and just got a straight No answer. No worries as I wasn't doing it out of interest but because I was hoping you matured by that point. Ah well. (They ended up dating a tool of s person and realised years down the line)
Sounds like women just get worse as they get older because they were "Played" by the Bad boys. The Pump n Dumps are just as worse as the women in morality which is likely why most women are super picky these days because of it.
Would suggest the OP to just live his life until he meets someone.
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Zok310
Banned
Same story minus the whole “i miss the touch of a woman”.
After my divorce i could see clear as day what made me happy and focused on being happy. I have more friends today, love being single where as before i was terrified, i get more done, i got out of debt, buy everything with cash, stopped trying to keep up with jones and got off the social media poison.
For me being married just turned out to be a waste of time and a reduction in my freedom and happiness.
Guys make needless sacrifice for pussy.
I had a co worker that complained about his wife everyday, put up with her cheating and abuse for 20 years. Told him to bail... “no i cant do that”. In 2018 at the age of 48 dude punched out from work, told us he will see us tomorrow, drove home and had a massive heart attack in his driveway, dead on the spot. Don't waste your life around people that make you miserable.
After my divorce i could see clear as day what made me happy and focused on being happy. I have more friends today, love being single where as before i was terrified, i get more done, i got out of debt, buy everything with cash, stopped trying to keep up with jones and got off the social media poison.
For me being married just turned out to be a waste of time and a reduction in my freedom and happiness.
Guys make needless sacrifice for pussy.
I had a co worker that complained about his wife everyday, put up with her cheating and abuse for 20 years. Told him to bail... “no i cant do that”. In 2018 at the age of 48 dude punched out from work, told us he will see us tomorrow, drove home and had a massive heart attack in his driveway, dead on the spot. Don't waste your life around people that make you miserable.
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decisions
Member
SuperGooey
Member
First of all, don't refer to yourself as a "gamer." I dunno. Start there.
RJMacready73
Simps for Amouranth
So I'm curious did op find himself a new woman?
Noboru Wataya
Banned
Give up trying to be so actively desperate on dating apps. have your profiles on dating apps and keep up with your social activities you enjoy. The right one will come along, be bold and try not to shy away from opportunities in meeting people. Ask for that number, ask for a date. Men these days are too shy and too soft to make a move.
you gave up on a whole class of people because of online articles? Wise up.
you gave up on a whole class of people because of online articles? Wise up.
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German Hops
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
A numbers game? Isn't that a little tedious?Gaming is pretty mainstream nowadays as long as your whole live doesn't revolve around it. Dating is a big numbers game you just have to keep trying until you find the right one.
Burnttips
Member
I’m 43 and got a divorce 2 years ago. My ex-wife didn’t want to be a mother anymore and wanted nothing to do with our child. I left and took my little girl. I retired when I was 28 and I took all the wealth because I made it all before we got married. I have given up on dating till my dd is older. I think I’m incapable of actually loving someone now.
RJMacready73
Simps for Amouranth
How in the fuck do women or even men just give up on their kids!? Good for you for putting your daughter first, you'll reap the rewards for that one with many dad points but man I could never abandon my kids and I think very little of humans that do.. utter cunts
Julius Ibidus
Member
there's nothing wrong with concentrating on family after a difficult breakup. actually, it takes a special person to do this. to forgo personal needs to tend to someone else's is quite noble, in my opinion. speaks to having a very high quality of character, something that will not go unnoticed by others. be patient, the right one will show up, happens when you least expect it.
SF Kosmo
Al Jazeera Special Reporter
Women who have a problem with gamers are 99% just women who has a bad relationship with a gamer and blame the games instead of the dude.
One of the main concepts of dating is filtering out the wrong ones anyway, just don't waste your time.
While I have seen "games are stupid" comments on dating sites I can't say it's ever been an issue in practice. In my recent (last couple years) dating experience, only one was actually a gamer herself, but not one of them seriously objected to it.
I think the far more difficult problem of dating at middle age is that everyone has trust issues and damage. Younger women don't have the emotional battle scars that women at 40 do.
One of the main concepts of dating is filtering out the wrong ones anyway, just don't waste your time.
While I have seen "games are stupid" comments on dating sites I can't say it's ever been an issue in practice. In my recent (last couple years) dating experience, only one was actually a gamer herself, but not one of them seriously objected to it.
I think the far more difficult problem of dating at middle age is that everyone has trust issues and damage. Younger women don't have the emotional battle scars that women at 40 do.
GeorgPrime
Banned
Nothing bad about deciding to stay single for a while. Just enjoy your time with your daughter and turn her into a gamer girl
CAB_Life
Member
Are you working out? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you happy? Are you mentally and physically sound? Like attracts like and if you want an independent, self-aware partner, you need to work on first becoming that yourself. I don't want my words to sound like a critique or attack, I'm just telling you what works. Also, you don't need a partner who games. I've been married for ten years, and we've been together for 15 and we don't share that many similar interests outside of shows, outdoor stuff and trips/ spending time together. But we don't need it either. If you're each independent and happy, you can come together on the important moral and shared responsibility issues.
Cockles & Whelks
Banned
If I see a list of demands. Run.
ResilientBanana
Member
Online dating is a bad idea, but also relationships are a two way street. So not every woman that’s awesome wants to live like a hermit.
DetectiveBananas
Member
Those statistics you refer to don’t really tell the whole story. I know people personally that are Doctors who married people who make under 40k a year and don’t have a lot of assets. The thing that made those relationships work was they were nice guys who were gonna be there for them in the long run (kids, household duties, talking about how people at work suck, etc). So far they’re all still going strong after a decade.
Some of them even loved gaming too. They just didn’t have time for it anymore.
Some of them even loved gaming too. They just didn’t have time for it anymore.
DrJohnGalt
Banned
Bruh, if you take out the debt and the kids your story is almost exactly like mine. I see the same types of profiles (only been shopping at match and cupid and not the pure "hook-up" apps, but cupid has gone so progressive they're actually pushing people to add #BLM and #ClimateActivist badges and shit to their profile (not to mention the left-leaning 'when did you stop beating your wife' type questions). And if anything you're understating the issue with stupid political activists and nobody being interested in adult games. I want to ask them why they think gaming is a waste of time but binge-watching Handmaids Tail or spending happy hour at a dive bar is any better? Add to that the "you must be this tall" rule and I don't stand a chance lol. It's also funny seeing women over 40 that say they still want to have kids. I know 40 is the new 30 but c'mon, man, you ladies missed the kid train at this point.
What gets me is that they say "open-minded" and "tolerant" and in the next paragraph it's "if you voted for the Orange Man move on" or "not interested in a partner that enjoys a night in playing video games". They want it both ways. I think I've been ghosted just as much when I admit I'm a gamer as when I tell these people I'm a free-market and second amendment advocate and think the woke culture is silly and dangerous.
I don't know if I should be optimistic, but I haven't given up yet. I've actually met a few pretty cool gamer chicks but we just didn't have chemistry. We still chat every once in a while but nothing serious came out of meeting them. I guess one thing is they may have other single friends that also play games (or are at least tolerant of them) so they might make an introduction sometime.
A few things that might increase your chances without lowering your standards are to get pro pics taken (def worth the money), be up front in your profile about your hobbies, and don't settle. Don't send a message just to send it; save your messages for those that meet the minimum expectations. When I first started the online dating thing I tried the shotgun approach and while I did make a lot of connections, none really felt right. Now I go for a more targeted approach and while the matches are fewer I end up talking to them more and in a few cases we've become friends even though we decided a relationship wasn't the right thing.
Good luck!
Dr. Suchong
Member
This.
You could see this red flag from space.
SF Kosmo
Al Jazeera Special Reporter
Online dating is kind of the only option in the pandemic world unless you have a big social circle and don't care about maybe burning some of it.
I sort of tapped out of dating for a while. I was messing around too much after my last LTR and Covid hit and I whittled the pool down to two, which was still one too many and that got fucked up.
I've got a solid fwb down the street who takes care of me, so I'm alright to regroup for a bit.
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OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
Date younger if you can. I'm 38 and my gf is 25. She has no problem with me playing games and will often play them herself. We co-oped Diablo 3's story twice. We are currently playing through Sackboy. She is a bit of an activist for sure but she knows I'm not super into that stuff so she leaves me out of it most of the time.
Dr. Suchong
Member
25... You lucky dog
GeorgPrime
Banned
25... You lucky dog
I feel like its easier to get a younger girlfriend as an older man than getting an younger boyfriend as an older women.
Many young women prefer older men but most guys want hot young chicks.
Its funny how many girls between 20-25 are flirting with you over some time especially when you are married
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Dr. Suchong
Member
The only looks I get from younger Women are scornful ones lol
I wish your statement was applicable to me
Sloth Guevara
Banned
I’m happy me and the wife have different hobbies tbh.
People who judge others for hobbies are pretty shait.
People who judge others for hobbies are pretty shait.
RJMacready73
Simps for Amouranth
I love the goto a bar or club advice... Dudes in his 40's ffs, if he's anything like me and my social circle, we all stopped hitting bars years ago except on the occasional rowdy lads nights out, if I found myself in a similar situation who the fuck am I hitting bars with? Mates are all settled with kids and only wierd cunts hit up bars on their own.
Best bet if the dating app are turning up nothing is to check out local clubs, local running clubs, walking, etc not only will it get you back into shape but opens up your social circle which is primarily what you want to be concentrating on, meeting new people oftentimes in a similar situation whilst knocking off a few pounds will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence plus increased social circle opens up opertunity to meet people the old fashioned way.
You seem normal so don't be put off with girls earning more, they're still looking for a normal guy and who knows what rich dicks they've met and are now fed up with and don't hide your love of gaming but don't make it front and center either when you meet someone, just be yourself and be cool, shit will happen once you stop looking for it
Best bet if the dating app are turning up nothing is to check out local clubs, local running clubs, walking, etc not only will it get you back into shape but opens up your social circle which is primarily what you want to be concentrating on, meeting new people oftentimes in a similar situation whilst knocking off a few pounds will do wonders for your self esteem and confidence plus increased social circle opens up opertunity to meet people the old fashioned way.
You seem normal so don't be put off with girls earning more, they're still looking for a normal guy and who knows what rich dicks they've met and are now fed up with and don't hide your love of gaming but don't make it front and center either when you meet someone, just be yourself and be cool, shit will happen once you stop looking for it
Hatemachine
Banned
I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion on this site, but women wanting to avoid men who spend a lot of time gaming seems like a reasonable position to me, especially in their 40s. Overall, gaming isn't really a healthy hobby to have; it correlates with poor physical fitness, poor mental health and low ambition in life. Yes there's plenty of exceptions to that but I don't think it's unreasonable for women to have a negative view of men who are hung up on video games.
Dr. Suchong
Member
I've been that "Weird cunt" many times lol
xrnzaaas
Member
The general rule is to avoid dating people who make a serious problem about your hobby, no matter what it is. Unless that hobby has taken over your life and it's become an actual problem your partner should accept that you won't have the exact same list of likes and dislikes. You'll do some stuff in your free time together and some separately.
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Can't decide
Member
What? Personal, anecdotal evidence I suppose, but usually the women who complain about gaming are the same ones who will sit and watch 5 hours of faked, dramatized shite on the TV screen every day.
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If anyone, man or woman, is constantly complaining about you, in any aspect, then the relationship most likely won’t work.
A general view: it’s far easier for a woman to attract a man than vice versa. It’s biology. Women feel they can afford to be pickier, to a degree.
Perhaps take this time for self-reflection. What are your strengths? What are you weaknesses? What are you looking for? What can you contribute to in a relationship? I don’t suggest this to be critical - it may be a good time to clarify your own desires. Doing so may actually open up your dating pool.
A general view: it’s far easier for a woman to attract a man than vice versa. It’s biology. Women feel they can afford to be pickier, to a degree.
Perhaps take this time for self-reflection. What are your strengths? What are you weaknesses? What are you looking for? What can you contribute to in a relationship? I don’t suggest this to be critical - it may be a good time to clarify your own desires. Doing so may actually open up your dating pool.
Hatemachine
Banned
Obviously if the women complaining about gaming are sitting around watching 5 hours of Bravo a day it reeks of hypocrisy. But in general, a woman not wanting a man who sits around playing video games is just as valid a position as a man not wanting a woman who spends her life sitting around watching Real Housewives.
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Vestal
Gold Member
Honestly the problem is online dating and social media in general when it comes to relationships. I am thankful that I am still married(going on 15 years), and don’t intend to change that seeing how absolutely insane dating is nowadays.
The problem is that you get to know too much of a person before you even meet in person. It kills any magic, or sense of discovery when the person you are trying to date has their entire life over the past 10 or so years journaled on the internet. It’s human nature to look at the negatives more so than the positives when trying to match up with someone. So without having control of the information you expose to your partner there isn’t enough time to enthrall them with your good qualities before the bad ones rear their ugly head.
Social Media and instant communication has put a strain on “odd couples” or the ability of people who have some differing views to come together either in friendship or in this case a romantic relationship.
End of the day, the pool of partners dwindles because we can “filter” them out a lot easier and earlier in an engagement.
The problem is that you get to know too much of a person before you even meet in person. It kills any magic, or sense of discovery when the person you are trying to date has their entire life over the past 10 or so years journaled on the internet. It’s human nature to look at the negatives more so than the positives when trying to match up with someone. So without having control of the information you expose to your partner there isn’t enough time to enthrall them with your good qualities before the bad ones rear their ugly head.
Social Media and instant communication has put a strain on “odd couples” or the ability of people who have some differing views to come together either in friendship or in this case a romantic relationship.
End of the day, the pool of partners dwindles because we can “filter” them out a lot easier and earlier in an engagement.
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SlimySnake
Flashless at the Golden Globes
mental illness. Bipolar or borderline women have self destructive tendencies and abondonig loved ones is the easiest way to fuck up your life.
Majima Everywhere System
Member
Get another dog! You will get used to and value be alone in time.
And just like that, you'll meet someone.
And just like that, you'll meet someone.
triplestation
Member
a hooker wont mind if you like video games
RJMacready73
Simps for Amouranth
She will if he's paying full price and asking her for a discount
Shadowstar39
Member
LOL.. Nope. I keep meeting people who can't talk worth shit on text. Either that or they are so loaded with other prospects they keep their response short.
I ask questions to them, try to find out details for more things to converse with. I sometimes make a little humor tell something benign about myself or something to pique interest. Then when I ask them questions I get responses like this:
Went to work, I'm fine.
Or one even asked me a series of questions about movies and music, I replied back in detial and never got a response back so I said f it, for that one.
Another I was having a convo with. Then I found out she was recently divorce after 6 months marriage... To a woman. She didn't have a job, she didn't have a car. She was living with a friend and said she paid rent by giving massages. Thsy she just got done giving her roommate a 45min massage. I don't know if it was a guy or a gal and didn't press it, although I made an attempt to ask for a massage ans she pipes back sure $75, all serious about it. Like b you ain't licensed, I can get a professional for that kind of money.
Any question I asked her again was little detail back. Simple snippy 4 word responses. Yet I would take effort to make interesting dialog. It was like they didn't know how to read or their time for a detailed response wasn't worth it. So I bailed.
I've had about 5 prospects and they never get to the meeting phase due to the issues like above. If you aren't putting effort into to talking to me, why should I?
The crazy thing is non of these women were ones I chose from the app. They all chose me first. So you would think they would be a little eager, nope. I am wondering if it's just Facebook typr women being the issue. Maybe a better app/site.
As for churches or meet ups, most are still closed in the Philly suburb area.
I'm going to my neighbors BBQ this week and maybe I'll have some prospects there. Get out of my comfort zone and talk to people in real life. May get to sample some chocolate (which Ive never had) and if not will get some good grub and alcohol.
Otherwise I'm going to just do my thing and try out some dog parks (problem with those is most women there are married. Single ladies usually have cats not dogs). It also depends on the locale. Some areas have snobby stuck up people (the kind that drive porche/bmv suvs, Lexus, etc) compared to a down to earth working class neighborhood where people are more friendly.
Shadowstar39
Member
OK when is the right time to ask for a number or date? I try to talk to people first and get to know them on messages first and I get snippy shirt responses like they don't have the time to talk. Should I be direct with the number thing up front to get on a call? I guess some people don't like conversations over messenger.
PSYGN
Member
You never had chocolate before?
Yep, my kids' mother is likely undiagnosed bipolar/narcissistic personality disorder. Begged her to work things out not just because I loved her but for the benefit of the kids. At that point she thought she already had new supply and burnt it all down. He fucked her and dumped her within a month.
The kids have begged me to "fix" it a few times which was heartbreaking at first, but they've since rebounded and are thriving more than ever post-breakup as I'm able to be a better father. Their mom is thrilled to be a part-time mom now, all the benefits of being "strong single mom" and she doesn't have to deal with kids every day now.
Makes me happy whenever she picks up the kids now, cause every time she sees the house I bought (always rented before due to her overspending) her face turns into a snarl.