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DVD shelving, leaving my 20's behind, and the desire to be "normal"

TeezzyD

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Mar 18, 2020
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This winter, I will be 30 years old. Not until early Februrary, but my 30's are only a few months around the corner either way. A friend recently told me, "Y'know [TeezzyD], you hate everything about yourself that makes you unique." At first, I was taken aback by this. While not entirely true, there was enough truth to his statement that I still remember him saying that over a month or so later, and it makes me wonder. I've even run his assessment by a few others, and they agreed with what he had said.

This week, I've been fixing up my front room: finishing painting, peeling off wallpaper, the whole nine yards. This is also the room where I currently keep my CRT televisions (yes, plural) and my older consoles I never shut up about (PS2, Xbox, Xbox 360). In this room, I also had a couple storage bins full of DVDs I like to watch on my old TVs for old-times sake and decided to buy a proper shelf to store them on instead. I'm trying to make the house looks like a human being lives here, and not y'know... me. Appearance is important. Anywho, I set up the shelf last night and began to add my DVDs to it, and I soon realized that a lot of these movies aren't necessarily something I want on display. Obscure horror titles, borderline pornographic 'art films', etc. There's some good more mainstream fare there also, the Terminators, Aliens, Ben Stiller comedies, Goodfellas, etc; and that tends to be what I watch more anyhow, and I think I might ultimately use this shelf just to put my video games on, and move all this garbage into a spare bedroom. Why on Earth would I want the front room of my house to be some weirdo pervert nest of some dude who clearly never learned to let go of the 2000's? I have a den with a couch and a 46" 1080p screen hooked up to a 5.1 surround systeam and an Xbox One S for more 'normal viewing' anyhow.

This also coincides with a lot of personal changes I've made in my life recently: tossing out a reasonable amount of my clothing, no longer feeling comfortable in my formerly beloved death metal band tees and patched up denim jacket, etc; my desires to pay more attention to sports than I had prior, my newfound sobriety, my constant attention to diet and exercise, voting Republican for the first time ever, even my taste in women has evolved from alt-girls with fresh pedicures to Sunday morning church girls with fresh pedicures. As someone who so heavily grew up on a steady diet of counter-culture, it's weird to see just how much I sorta detest a lot of that stuff now. I can't tell if I want to 'fit in' more, or if I've run out of things to rebel against.

My current friend group are a bunch of pot head nerds. They're the guys who adopted me after I had to leave my much more hard partying 'punk' friends behind once they started really going down a path I couldn't abide by. That was one party in an abandoned Detroit warehouse too many for my tastes. For better or worse, these guys are what I have. They're not the type to sit around watching hockey or football with me, so 'hanging out' with them just seems odd. I feel like I need to look for another clique entirely. Either way, one of them was the dude who told me I hate everything about myself that makes me unique. He's also the guy who is always hammering down how there's no 'normal' for me to be aspiring to. He also has giant shelves of Gundam figurines in his apartment, and ewww. I don't think I'm actively 'aspiring to be normal', but it's feeling pretty natural. I want to change. I'm getting older. It's 2020 and I just bought a giant DVD shelf.

I'm kinda rambling now. I hope I've made some sense here. I need to go buy some yogurt and chicken breast. Ultimately, I'd love to be a family man one day. Wife and two kids and me living in this house. I feel like I'm too stupid to obtain that.
 
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OrtizTwelve

Formerly 'WhetPharts'
Aug 11, 2020
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You'll be fine.

What you're missing is focus in life. Focus on something and everything else will fall into place.

There's nothing wrong with collecting DVDs at age 30. You're not the only person on Earth that enjoys this.

Enjoy doing what you enjoy doing, and NEVER compare yourself to others. The vast majority times --- people are fake and full of shit.

Focus on YOU. Be healthy, be active, and be happy.
 

EHuntingon

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This also coincides with a lot of personal changes I've made in my life recently: tossing out a reasonable amount of my clothing, no longer feeling comfortable in my formerly beloved death metal band tees and patched up denim jacket, etc; my desires to pay more attention to sports than I had prior, my newfound sobriety, my constant attention to diet and exercise, voting Republican for the first time ever, even the my taste in women has evolved from alt-girls with fresh pedicures to Sunday morning church girls with fresh pedicures. As someone who so heavily grew up on a steady diet of counter-culture, it's weird to see just how much I sorta detest a lot of that stuff now. I can't tell if I want to 'fit in' more, or if I've run out of things to rebel against.
I don't have much insight, but I will say, in this day of excess everything, onlyfans, and hookup apps, the most counter-culture thing you can do is get married and have a family.

Also, self-improvement is never a bad thing. If you think there's things in your life holding you back, and you're willing to step outside of your comfort zone to push forward, I applaud your attempt to move towards a better future.
 

poodaddy

Gold Member
May 2, 2015
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It kind of seems like you're trying to sacrifice who you were or are to attain some semblance of what you consider "desired normalcy" brother. On some level, I empathize greatly, but I don't really empathize with changing yourself so radically simply because you're getting older and wish to meet a good woman. I'm not picking on you brethren, but I kind of agree with your friend. Settling down with a good woman isn't something that's going to happen, or at least stay healthy long term, if you're trying to be something that you think she wants, rather than something you want to be.

For what it's worth, I think you're mostly on point, just some of your points seemed so opposite of me that it's hard to relate to. I'm 33 and have been married for over ten years and have a nine year old; I'm a veteran, I love lifting weights, and I'm a full blown unapologetic metalhead with so many raggedy ass metal shirts that have survived so many pits, and I'll probably wear those shirts till I stop breathing. I can promise you that I wouldn't have ever managed to attract my wife if I had actually tried to be what she wanted me to be, as that's ultimately impossible. I just tried to be a good man, one that I'd respect, and I strived to better myself without ultimately replacing my identity, and she eventually just....kidnapped me in a way lol. I'll never forget the text she sent me, as I was with my first wife at the time. "You haven't realized it yet, but we're perfect for each other, and we're ultimately going to be together after I break up with (her ex), and you divorce (my ex wife). It was so brazen and unexpected, especially as I was in the middle of a divorce, but I knew she was right.

Sorry to tell you something so intimate and personal, but there is a point here brother. I never tried to be that for her....I just inadvertently became that. I think if I would have tried, I would have somehow messed it up ya know? Love is organic man, it's.....it sounds corny brother, but it's a beautiful accident. It's a beautiful accident that you have to work hard to maintain when it happens, and you have to nurture it, but it has to be born out of honesty; honesty with her sure, but ultimately honesty with yourself above all.

I'm not saying you're wrong brother. We change as we age, and I've certainly changed a lot. That being said, as you get older and you change, make sure you're changing for you, and not for the world around you. The world will never bother to thank you or notice you, but if you wake up every day with the strength and conviction to know yourself, and to love yourself, then the world will be filled with those who wish to stand with you. Remember, though, that when you love who you are and who you are becoming, be sure to love and respect who you were as well, as that guy is who brought you all the way here. He made the arduous journey for you, he was up to the task, he made the hard decisions, and he had the strength to see it all through. It's ok to empathize with him less as you age and change, but never forget him, and always remember that who you are now, is just a result of how he has toiled and sweat to see you come to fruition.

In summary: You're great and you're only gonna get better, but that's because the good in you aspired towards greatness, and a younger you, with all his flaws and foolhardy rebelliousness, his hard partying, his Deftones and Buffy love, his affinity for "art films" and silly comedies, had the fortitude to realize your aspirations.....so don't forget that guy, cuz it turns out he actually kicked ass :D
 
x1

TeezzyD

Fantastik Tuna
Mar 18, 2020
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It kind of seems like you're trying to sacrifice who you were or are to attain some semblance of what you consider "desired normalcy" brother. On some level, I empathize greatly, but I don't really empathize with changing yourself so radically simply because you're getting older and wish to meet a good woman. I'm not picking on you brethren, but I kind of agree with your friend. Settling down with a good woman isn't something that's going to happen, or at least stay healthy long term, if you're trying to be something that you think she wants, rather than something you want to be.

For what it's worth, I think you're mostly on point, just some of your points seemed so opposite of me that it's hard to relate to. I'm 33 and have been married for over ten years and have a nine year old; I'm a veteran, I love lifting weights, and I'm a full blown unapologetic metalhead with so many raggedy ass metal shirts that have survived so many pits, and I'll probably wear those shirts till I stop breathing. I can promise you that I wouldn't have ever managed to attract my wife if I had actually tried to be what she wanted me to be, as that's ultimately impossible. I just tried to be a good man, one that I'd respect, and I strived to better myself without ultimately replacing my identity, and she eventually just....kidnapped me in a way lol. I'll never forget the text she sent me, as I was with my first wife at the time. "You haven't realized it yet, but we're perfect for each other, and we're ultimately going to be together after I break up with (her ex), and you divorce (my ex wife). It was so brazen and unexpected, especially as I was in the middle of a divorce, but I knew she was right.

Sorry to tell you something so intimate and personal, but there is a point here brother. I never tried to be that for her....I just inadvertently became that. I think if I would have tried, I would have somehow messed it up ya know? Love is organic man, it's.....it sounds corny brother, but it's a beautiful accident. It's a beautiful accident that you have to work hard to maintain when it happens, and you have to nurture it, but it has to be born out of honesty; honesty with her sure, but ultimately honesty with yourself above all.

I'm not saying you're wrong brother. We change as we age, and I've certainly changed a lot. That being said, as you get older and you change, make sure you're changing for you, and not for the world around you. The world will never bother to thank you or notice you, but if you wake up every day with the strength and conviction to know yourself, and to love yourself, then the world will be filled with those who wish to stand with you. Remember, though, that when you love who you are and who you are becoming, be sure to love and respect who you were as well, as that guy is who brought you all the way here. He made the arduous journey for you, he was up to the task, he made the hard decisions, and he had the strength to see it all through. It's ok to empathize with him less as you age and change, but never forget him, and always remember that who you are now, is just a result of how he has toiled and sweat to see you come to fruition.

In summary: You're great and you're only gonna get better, but that's because the good in you aspired towards greatness, and a younger you, with all his flaws and foolhardy rebelliousness, his hard partying, his Deftones and Buffy love, his affinity for "art films" and silly comedies, had the fortitude to realize your aspirations.....so don't forget that guy, cuz it turns out he actually kicked ass :D
I love this response. Thank you

It's not me changing myself because I can't find "the right one." Its me just getting fed up with everything and a lot of my interests and hobbies genuinely changing for the better.

The older I get though, the less and less I wanna be seen as some unique peacock who wears his niche interests in his sleeve. I find people like that so fucking annoying

Have you ever dated an alternative girl? They're mostly out of their minds. I was out of mine too. I feel a lot better now. I think this is all part of that

The DVDs are just there because they inspired me to make this thread. An allegory of sorts.
 

Goro Majima

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Sep 2, 2007
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My current friend group are a bunch of pot head nerds. They're the guys who adopted me after I had to leave my much more hard partying 'punk' friends behind once they started really going down a path I couldn't abide by. That was one party in an abandoned Detroit warehouse too many for my tastes. For better or worse, these guys are what I have. They're not the type to sit around watching hockey or football with me, so 'hanging out' with them just seems odd. I feel like I need to look for another clique entirely. Either way, one of them was the dude who told me I hate everything about myself that makes me unique. He's also the guy who is always hammering down how there's no 'normal' for me to be aspiring to. He also has giant shelves of Gundam figurines in his apartment, and ewww. I don't think I'm actively 'aspiring to be normal', but it's feeling pretty natural. I want to change. I'm getting older. It's 2020 and I just bought a giant DVD shelf.

I'm kinda rambling now. I hope I've made some sense here. I need to go buy some yogurt and chicken breast. Ultimately, I'd love to be a family man one day. Wife and two kids and me living in this house. I feel like I'm too stupid to obtain that.
"Normal" is definitely subjective but giant shelves of Gundam figurines I wouldn't call "socially acceptable". Unless it's somehow tastefully executed in a "I'm a high roller IT guy" kind of way which I'm guessing it's not.

That said, I wouldn't throw out your friends whatever their weird hobbies or interests. As long as they aren't people that are encouraging you into bad habits like your former friends and are generally thoughtful and supportive, you may want to hang onto them.

Also the some of the smartest people I know suck at marriage and child raising whereas some of the dumbest people I know are great at both. You really really don't want to chase either too hard otherwise you might find yourself in a bad situation. Simply work towards it with reasonable expectations and standards based on your appearance and place in life but don't settle. It'll come because it comes for nearly everyone.
 

TeezzyD

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Goro Majima Goro Majima Yeah like I have dad written all over me and my new balance sneakers. You're right though, the last thing I wanna do is rush into something like that with the wrong person. It's just a big part of my end goal, I dont think its gonna suddenly make my life perfect. I've lived alone for 5 years though... sometimes it gets to ya.
 
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poodaddy

Gold Member
May 2, 2015
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I love this response. Thank you

It's not me changing myself because I can't find "the right one." Its me just getting fed up with everything and a lot of my interests and hobbies genuinely changing for the better.

The older I get though, the less and less I wanna be seen as some unique peacock who wears his niche interests in his sleeve. I find people like that so fucking annoying

Have you ever dated an alternative girl? They're mostly out of their minds. I was out of mine too. I feel a lot better now. I think this is all part of that

The DVDs are just there because they inspired me to make this thread. An allegory of sorts.
I got ya brother. Yeah, for what it's worth, my ex wife is an "alternative girl" and yeah she was nuts lol. Full blown pathological liar and idiot....but hey I was the dummy that married her so what's that say about me? Lol.

I guess my point is that you should be proud of who you are and were, that's all. I think you are, and I think your changes are positive; the most important thing is that you always respect yourself, and I think you do. You're one of the few Neogaf members I'd buy a beer in a heartbeat if you ever end up in the Seattle area :).
 

BigBooper

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We require purpose. It seems like you're getting close to finding yours. Family is an excellent goal for reasonable people. We need more reasonable people in this world.

The whole being part of a clique never resonated with me, but being a rebel certainly did. Eventually, I just got tired of considering things in that way. We're all just people. The fronts people put up are silly. I like people that try to get along, don't turn everything into a drama, are trustworthy, and aren't nasty. Pretty much everything else can be worked around.

Like what you like, while fulfilling your responsibilities. Happy almost birthday.
 
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p_xavier

Authorized Fister
Jun 9, 2004
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For my forties next year, I actually had a drastic change of lifestyle, the same lifestyle that I considered childish at 29 now I cherish. I wanted a professional, posh lifestyle, high end everything. All of those things I can't relate anymore. I like my classic videogames, I like rednecks, I like me wasting my life on stupid things, I like going hunting, canoeing, I love extremes and enjoying drugs and booze with my bros. Do what you enjoy, not what is expected. Like the saying say, love what will kill you.
 

GeorgPrime

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Jan 9, 2020
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You'll be fine.

What you're missing is focus in life. Focus on something and everything else will fall into place.

There's nothing wrong with collecting DVDs at age 30. You're not the only person on Earth that enjoys this.

Enjoy doing what you enjoy doing, and NEVER compare yourself to others. The vast majority times --- people are fake and full of shit.

Focus on YOU. Be healthy, be active, and be happy.
Its totally wrong to collect DVDs. He has to throw them all away and start with BLURAYS!!!!!!!!
 

synchronicity

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Dec 16, 2011
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I don't know what this means.
It means that in a dynamic, ever-changing universe, beauty and harmony are found in motion, in dynamic response with the larger rhythms of life. Listen to the whispers on the wind. Pay very close attention - find the synchronicities that are there to guide you, the reflections of your own heart manifested "outside" yourself and trust and follow those. Dance to the music of life.
 
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Tranquil

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It means that in a dynamic, ever-changing universe, beauty and harmony are found in motion, in dynamic response with the larger rhythms of life. Listen to the whispers on the wind. Pay very close attention - find the synchronicities that are there to guide you, the reflections of your own heart manifested "outside" yourself and trust and follow those. Dance to the music of life.
k i'm listening.

 

Tranquil

Member
Jul 5, 2019
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It means that in a dynamic, ever-changing universe, beauty and harmony are found in motion, in dynamic response with the larger rhythms of life. Listen to the whispers on the wind. Pay very close attention - find the synchronicities that are there to guide you, the reflections of your own heart manifested "outside" yourself and trust and follow those. Dance to the music of life.
I'm not a fan of acoustic, but thanks for the suggestion.
 

TeezzyD

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Bro. I bought the Miami Vice box set on Blu-ray at 3 am this morning. I’m 34 and has to work at 8am.

I’m a 34 year old boy. Fight me!
It isn't so much "buying a bunch of DVDs is childish" as it is "the movies I'm interested i watching now are far different than what they were when I was younger and that falls in line with the other changes I've noticed within myself"

I used to be a pretentious little film school twat. I'm not that guy any longer. Seeing some of the obscure stuff I held onto just makes me think, "Really? When would I watch that after a long day of work? My ass." Physical media is exactly that... physical. So keeping all my crap as long as I have (despite selling it off by the boat load numerous times over... even my former huge blu ray collection GeorgPrime GeorgPrime lol) is almost like a reminder of who I was in comparison to now.

I think I am starting to appreciate the simpler things like p_xavier p_xavier suggested. There's a reason I'm drawn to these old consoles, TV, and physical media formats even when I have an upper end PC that can play anything and everything. I just don't feel like I need to see every pore on Nicolas Cage's skin to enjoy a movie these days. Not that I'm complaining. I'm sure he has fine pores.
 

Mossybrew

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I used to be a pretentious little film school twat. I'm not that guy any longer. Seeing some of the obscure stuff I held onto just makes me think, "Really? When would I watch that after a long day of work? My ass.
This is pretty normal really, and it's much better than the alternative - like there's this fifty-something guy at work that fairly regularly makes references to old TV shows or movies - but it's all stuff from the 70's and 80's - it's like he got trapped in a media time bubble and never moved on from the stuff from his youth. Though I do find it kinda funny that your taste in movies has evolved but not your preferences in gaming and tv hardware.
 
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TeezzyD

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Mossybrew Mossybrew

I enjoy the nostalgic warmth of old TVs and consoles. The physicality of it, the way that it looks just like how I remember it.

I've got a fairly bitchin' PC and an Xbox One S for everything else.

I know what you're getting at though.
 

KAL2006

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Feb 6, 2009
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Yes I think I moved on to collecting shit in my late 20s. I used to have a collection of videogames. A graphic novel collection. And download collection of pirated movies and TV shows that I haven't either watched or would never rewatch again.

Then I grew up, I don't collect games anymore I only buy as I play, even if something goes in sale I still don't buy it. It has saved me a ton of money. I realize I don't have enough time to play all the games I like so why bother making a backlog. Just keep a list of games I want to buy as I play them, in this day and age a game will never become rare due to the option of buying digital. Graphic novels I collected for no reason only read like a few of them, so now I just have a few downloaded on my tablet. The amount of space I saved not having a book collection is so great. Finally having disks of pirated movie and TV shows was pointless I just now watch stuff as I go instead of collecting, things like Netflix has made this easier and again I save so much space. I realise instead if getting attached to possessions to just appreciate other things in life. However compared to my 20s my life has changed alot I have a wife now, a baby etc. I also now own my own home instead of living in one of the bedrooms in my parents house so money management is way more appropriate more than ever so no need to waste it in things that is just for the sake of collecting.
 
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Durask

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Why do you need to pay more attention to sports?
The only thing I know about sports is that which team in my state plays what kind of sports
Bruins - Hockey
Patriots - Football
Red Sox - Baseball
Celtics - Basketball (are they still around, they are never in the news)

This pretty much sums up my knowledge of sports.
 

DunDunDunpachi

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It's really special to settle in and enjoy something that you genuinely find pleasure in. The disconnect you're feeling is normal: when we're younger we are far more likely to follow fads, follow the crowd, go with our friends, etc and let our group dynamics dictate our interests. Part of the trill we feel in participating in these things isn't the thing itself but the sense of belonging.

As we age we (hopefully) become more individualistic, caring less about group approval, discarding old habits and hobbies that no longer suit us. This opens you up to pursuing things that former friend-groups may have ignored or even mocked. This may cause you to discard old habits and hobbies that were your sole connection to certain "friends", who will now have no interest in your new pursuits.
 

Batiman

Danger: male feminist
Feb 11, 2020
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Keep your head up dude. You seem like a stand up guy from the posts I see from you. At 30 is when I really started getting my shit together to be honest. I really do believe 30 is the new 20 in today’s world. Do what you gotta do and move on.
 
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TeezzyD

Fantastik Tuna
Mar 18, 2020
6,165
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Why do you need to pay more attention to sports?
The only thing I know about sports is that which team in my state plays what kind of sports
Bruins - Hockey
Patriots - Football
Red Sox - Baseball
Celtics - Basketball (are they still around, they are never in the news)

This pretty much sums up my knowledge of sports.
Becayse I like sports lol. Mostly NHL and some NFL. Not like I feel obligated to, I just do. Sports are awesome icebreakers socially too. I've just been paying more attention as I've gotten older and am not some burnout.

They're objective - yknow? That shit's real. Same thing as paying attention to politics, etc.

Nice to keep myself grounded.

You've got a hell of a lineup of teams there btw. To the point where people resent you all. Aka fuck the bruins.

Buy a sports video game, you might be pleasantly surprised.
 

QSD

Neo Member
Nov 8, 2020
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Interesting topic. Some thoughts:

-One of my colleagues is married to one of the top legal team of a big tech firm, Dutch office. She loves cult/horror movies and I regularly exchange tips with her. If wanting to be "normal" means wanting to be more socially acceptable/presentable then you might be barking up the wrong tree, that has more to do with being reliable and having marketable skills than whether or not you have niche interests.

-The idea of not "displaying" certain movies on a shelf is significant from a psychological standpoint, as in a sense you'd be 'disowning' them, and because you once bought/loved them, you'd also be disowning a part of yourself. I can understand that some things you loved in the past can seem cringeworthy to you now. You name heavy metal and horror movies, which you might now regard as too morbid or too weird. But you know, people have aggressive and dark impulses, that's actually completely normal, and throughout life find varying ways to process and express those impulses. I mean, you've picked up sports/fitness which is actually a great way to get rid of excessive aggression. Anyway, I'd err on the side of accepting/displaying the weird stuff. Just think of it as something you've explored, and now you're exploring something else.
 

EviLore

Expansive Ellipses
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It’s totally okay to have a DVD collection. Extend yourself into more proactive pursuits too though. Pick up a sport or activity (BJJ, rock climbing, etc.), learn a musical instrument, learn how to build things, get strong, add depth to your perspective with challenging books. Just some suggestions. Passive consumption of entertainment is cool for the end of the day when you want to kick back on the way to sleep, but you can usually fit in a lot more productivity if you push yourself a little. You’ll find cooler friends that way, and women perk up when they see dynamic men.
 

petran79

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Sep 17, 2012
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I too have a DVD collection (mainly animated features from all over the world and eras), though I left it back home because it would be impossible to carry it over. Impossible to watch everything, though I watched at least 2/3. Such things are not shown on TV anymore, let alone on streaming sites. Watching those will feel like being in a different era.

Probably will give it to my nephew once he grows a little and learns some basic English, though I doubt he will be interested.
 
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jason10mm

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Feb 3, 2009
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FWIW I had a girl over once who browsed my big stack of DVDs sitting on top of my 50" HDTV (it was 3 feet deep so plenty of room :p) and when she saw Dark City she knew I was THE ONE. 16 years later still together :p

There is collecting and tasteful display and then there is clutter and junk. Set aside an area and put up a rotating display of your stuff. Keep the rest in storage out of sight. You can wave the nerd flag but also be a normal human.
 
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