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[ClayKavalier]

I had two appointments at a hospital the other day, one for physical therapy and another as a followup for a previous visit.

The physical therapy appointment went longer than it was supposed to, so at one point I told the therapist I had to be at another part of the hospital in just a few minutes. He said "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had another appointment" and offered to walk me over to where the other appointment was so I wouldn't have to find it.

When we got there he said "I just realized I forgot to give you some information, just stop back by physical therapy on your way out and I'll give it to you."

At this hospital you check into every area at a central desk and then walk to the area your appointment is in where you wait in a waiting room until you're called. Since there's no way to communicate with anyone or get anyone's attention at the waiting room, I asked if I'd have to check in at the front desk again to be let into the physical therapy area.

Except instead of "front desk" I said "secretary place."

I'm still cringing every time I think about it.

 

[maxcriden]

I wouldn't feel too bad. At least you're aware of it. We all make slips like that sometimes. I've heard and I'm sure made worse myself.

 

[Gluka]

That doesn't seem so bad. I think you must be a pretty smooth dude if that's a big slip up for you.

 

[Frecklestein]

I called my teacher mom in grade 2 by accident. Then some kid did it the next day and everyone forgot that I did it too. Thanks other kid, your sacrifice wasn't in vain

 

[Dad]

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

 

[Who]

I worked drive thru at a sub shop a few years ago.

A lady asked for a sec.

I told her to take all the secs she needs.

 

[Olli128]

Eh that's not too bad, don't beat yourself up. Try working in retail, that way no matter what you do you cant feel too bad as you've almost certainly seem someone do something even more stupid or embarrassing.

 

[backflip10019]

Called my now-fiancee "mom" once, but she just laughed it off.

 

[John Kowalski]

I called a coworker "mom" once.

 

[orochi91]

Saying "Have a good day" when it's pitch black outside :3

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

Lol same

 

[Amentallica]

I worked drive thru at a sub shop a few years ago.

A lady asked for a sec.

I told her to take all the secs she needs.

How many did you give her?

 

[thecouncil]

girl and I meet in an art class. we are flirting. I mean to say, "want to come over and "do art" at my place?" i get all twisted up and say, "want to come over and i'll fart in your face?" jeez. i had egg on my face after that one.

 

[Diprosalic]

My mom asked what the name of the old TV show with Pierce Brosnan was. I said Lexington Steele, she googled it and it turns out thats a male porn actor.

The show was called Remington Steele.

that was embarassing.

 

[The Lamonster]

I think calling your girl your ex's name or calling your teacher "mom" are probably the worst examples here.


edit: ^ yep or confusing porn titles or porn star names with IRL stuff.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

One time at a high school youth group pool party, the girl's mom who was hosting brought out an inflatable lounger thing that needed some air and said very loudly, "OKAY, THIS IS GONNA NEED A GOOD BLOWJOB!!!"

 

[jufonuk]

Happy Birthday,

you too..

 

[ClayKavalier]

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

Haha, I do this all the time too.

I didn't capture the delivery in the OP. Partway through I realized I was saying the wrong thing, but "front desk" was slipping mind so it came out like "seccc...retary place."

 

[Kenzodielocke]

Happy Birthday,

you too..

Man, that happens to me at least once a year...

 

[Amentallica]

My mom asked what the name of the old TV show with Pierce Brosnan was. I said Lexington Steele, she googled it and it turns out thats a male porn actor.

The show was called Remington Steele.

that was embarassing.

 

[HarryKS]

My mom asked what the name of the old TV show with Pierce Brosnan was. I said Lexington Steele, she googled it and it turns out thats a male porn actor.

The show was called Remington Steele.

that was embarassing.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

 

[User1608]

I suppose it doesn't count, but I almost said "Have a nice ass!" to a girl in hs. Sheesh. Meant to say nice day! For an actual slip;
Customer: Thank you for looking in the back!
Me: Thanks and you too!

Turned red almost right away.

 

[Dad]

girl and I meet in an art class. we are flirting. I mean to say, "want to come over and "do art" at my place?" i get all twisted up and say, "want to come over and i'll fart in your face?" jeez. i had egg on my face after that one.

Was she interested?

 

[DiabolicalBagel]

Not really embarrassing by itself, but I think I might be incapable of saying "coin toss". Every time, every time, I say "toin coss".
And I'll notice, and I'll correct myself. "toin coss". *Wait, that was wrong too, wasn't it?* "toin coss"... "toin coss"... "toin... coss".
It's at this moment I realize everyone is staring at me because I've drifted off into my own little world, overcome with the inability to utter two simple words:

"So what about if X?"
"hah, well that would be a bit of a toin coss... toin coss, toin coss, toin coss... toin... coss... 50/50"

 

[Who]

How many did you give her?

Let's just say she got the 8 inch meatball sub she ordered

 

[Rich!]

We work with a company for staff payroll called Iris. I asked my company director for their number to enquire about something. Only I said "Isis" by mistake.

He's Muslim.

 

[ClayKavalier]

We work with a company for staff payroll called Iris. I asked my company director for their number to enquire about something. Only I said "Isis" by mistake.

He's Muslim.

Oof! How did he react?

 

[belmonkey]

I accidentally called my high school Chemistry teacher Mr. Garrison, probably having something to do with the fact that the first syllable of his name was the same, then he asked me if he looked like he had a puppet on his hand.

 

[The Lamonster]

We work with a company for staff payroll called Iris. I asked my company director for their number to enquire about something. Only I said "Isis" by mistake.

He's Muslim.

meh, don't let those madmen own the word Isis. it means so much more than a bunch of sadistic douchebags.

 

[Ventilaator]

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

I think I did the creepiest possible version of this.

I once spent two weeks in the hospital after some horrible surgery I needed. On the day I was let home, the doctor gave me some information about how to proceed and then wished me a quick recovery.

"You too!"

 

[Rich!]

Oof! How did he react?

He noticed

I corrected myself, but uh the connotation was obvious

 

[Dad]

We work with a company for staff payroll called Iris. I asked my company director for their number to enquire about something. Only I said "Isis" by mistake.

He's Muslim.

Weren't you also the guy that made a thread about signing a grief card as a birthday card?

 

[Anung]

girl and I meet in an art class. we are flirting. I mean to say, "want to come over and "do art" at my place?" i get all twisted up and say, "want to come over and i'll fart in your face?" jeez. i had egg on my face after that one.

So she farted on you, right?

 

[Amentallica]

Let's just say she got 8 inch meatball sub she ordered

 

[Valus]

I called my friend's gf 'babe' with him standing right next to her. Very awkward few seconds of silence.

 

[PeakPointMatrix]

 

[Rich!]

Weren't you also the guy that made a thread about signing a grief card as a birthday card?

Yes, same office lol

 

[Squalor]

Little did he know that she was just about to go on her lunch break.

 

[GoodMorning]

One of the cashiers at the grocery store was telling me how much she loved the new truffle butter chips. Had a hearty giggle walking out of the store.

 

[spindashing]

Haha, I do this all the time too.

I didn't capture the delivery in the OP. Partway through I realized I was saying the wrong thing, but "front desk" was slipping mind so it came out like "seccc...retary place."

I work for a motorcycle dealership and I once had to read out a Vehicle Identification Number to a retail financing bank. Since certain letters like B and V sound similar over the phone, it's wise to say a word (like A as in Alpha) to make things less confusing.

The letter V was part of it and I ran a blank. The only word on my mind was "vagina." I froze after saying "V as in va-...Uh..." only for the female rep to finish with "like Violin?"

 

[Gonzo The Great]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgrhJSAaYIc

 

[DiipuSurotu]

I called my friend's gf 'babe' with him standing right next to her. Very awkward few seconds of silence.

How does that happen lol

 

[NastyBook]

My mom asked what the name of the old TV show with Pierce Brosnan was. I said Lexington Steele, she googled it and it turns out thats a male porn actor.

The show was called Remington Steele.

that was embarassing.

Oh, there's no turning back for her now. Lex the Impaler? Yeah, it's a wrap.

 

[KillGore]

Waiter: "Buen provecho" (enjoy your meal)

Me: "gracias, igual" (thanks, same to you)

DAMN IT!

 

[Resident_UA]

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

I used to work in a movie theater and I still do it

 

[Ben Morales]

Oh, there's no turning back for her now. Lex the Impaler? Yeah, it's a wrap.

I was about to say the same thing. She is saving that name for later.

 

[Toothless]

I have a thing where frequently I'll change up how I say good bye or hello, because saying it in English all the time is boring. So I'll go "adios," "hola," "sayonnara," "konichiwa" etc. to everyone I see just depending on whatever comes out of my mouth. There's been two recent occasions where I accidentally say "adios" to two people at once and then realize a couple seconds later that one of them is Hispanic and they probably think I'm racist. That's been embarrassing recently.

 

[Brazil]

I worked drive thru at a sub shop a few years ago.

A lady asked for a sec.

I told her to take all the secs she needs.

This is pure fucking genius.

 

[GasProblem]

Hadn't been in a restaurant in a while. Ordered steak. Waiter asked if I wanted it medium. I asked if they also had large.

Sigh.

 

[pathos11]

I used to stop by a local Mexican restaurant and just get some chips and salsa to take home.

One day I was picking up a pizza (at a pizza place, not the Mexican place...), and when they handed it to me, I started to ask for some cheese and pepper, and said... "Can I get some chips and salsa?"

Took a second for it to sink in to, as they just stared at me like wha.

 

[farisr]

"Enjoy your movie."

"You too!"

Every time

"You too" is a common slip up for me, for various things. Always cringe afterwards.

Hadn't been in a restaurant in a while. Ordered steak. Waiter asked if I wanted it medium. I asked if they also had large.

Sigh.

LOL