Wisdom right thereI would never fully put my guard down and trust a woman that has been hot and cold with me and wasn't sure where she stood with me, especially early on in the relationship. It's fine for fun and to keep loneliness and boredom at bay, but I would not have any expectiation, especially not in a risky situation like marriage. Either a woman desires you and wants to be with you, or they don't.
This wishy washy shit means your not close to her type, she likes you and what you provide her. But she isn't fully fulfilled. In her mind she is "settling" and is keeping her options open for the guy that really makes her feel the electricity down under (she is older and with a kid, that guy is never coming). I mean, you will know when they are in to you, they won't want to leave and will steadily try to interject themselves into your world, and want to constantly up the seriousness of the relationship, trying to force you to commit and lock you down because they are scared another woman will steal you away. That did not happen in this encounter. Your in love and she is invested in the convenience, for now.
If I was 40 plus I would not be playing those games, time is of the essence. But do you playa.
I mean, from my experience with shit like this, she's a mess. As difficult as it may be, I'd cut it off. You're asking for a steady stream of pain and drama if you stay with this one.Soooo, I'll try to keep it brief but it'll probably turn out long AF
I help run a FB Singles group which encompasses 4 counties (UK). During lockdowns I used to run a regular Friday Night Zoom party for members. In January this Polish girl joined the group, started joining the Zooms and every week (normally because she'd had some wine) she couldn't figure out how to join, so she she'd message me.
From there we started talking more and more, until it became private WhatsApp video calls, messages daily etc.
Eventually we arranged to meet up for real (we live 54 miles apart and she doesn't drive). She invited me to hers for Easter Sunday champagne breakfast. As soon as she opened the front door I thought "wow!" We hit it off immediately, it was just like a continuation of the Zooms, messages etc.
From there we started seeing each other every couple of weeks, then every weekend once she felt comfortable to introduce me to her 5 Yr old son.
In June, we decide to do the FB official thing. We have a fair few mutual friends (from the FB group) and they all say we match perfectly. We get on like a house on fire, i really fall in love with her, she the same with me, I get on great with her son (who tells me he loves me too)...all going amazing, planned futures together, moving in, having a baby...you get the idea.
Fast forward to the Bank Holiday Monday at the end of August...she texts me out the blue saying can we just be friends!
Naturally I'm devastated, she doesn't want to talk, just says she's realised she is not in the right place to be in a relationship etc...all through texts...i ask for my belongings back that are at hers, each time I ask she makes an excuse why she can't give them to a mutual friend or whatever... whole week goes by and its her Sons 6th birthday.
She thanks me for his gift I sent, her texts completely change and for a whole week it's darling this, darling that, i need to sort my head out, I miss you etc.
Another week passes...suddenly the texts are cold, one line, no kisses... Eventually I tell her (rather than ask as before) that I'm collecting my belongings, I drive over that evening and collect from her next door Neighbour and our mutual friend.
Go forward another week and it's my birthday, i receive a card from her, a pop up card with photos on it she took and exploding confetti. I also get a text from her at 1am on my birthday saying she wanted to be the first to give birthday wishes.
Go forward now to last weekend...
Friday evening I go to her town to meet some friends (that she knows) for a drink at the pub. One of them posts a photo of us all on FB...she sees it, posts a photo of her around her neighbour (our mutual friend) with a sarky comment...i end up storming round and saying that we need that face to face talk.
We go back to her house, talk until 4am...she tells me a number of times that she's in love with me but still doesn't want a relationship.
All that while we are getting off with each other, then sleep together and I eventually leave at 11am the next day. Mindfuck!!
I should point out that she is mid 30s, I'm mid 40s so we're not exactly teenagers but I really don't know what to make of it all. Known each other for 10 months, dated since April...lets just hope that last weekend doesn't end up in her becoming pregnant as that'll be the real twist
Thoughts wise people of NeoGaf???
I know some will say forget about her etc...easier said than done as I do still really love her
Ahaha well let's see. We made it through the holiday season and are still going strong. I agree with the article though, January can be make or break for a lot of relationships...
Any day now...
This is the exact opposite for me. I want to be with my SO more during the holidays and that's exactly what I did last year. It was easily one of the best holiday breaks I had in a long time.
Any day now...