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First dates after meeting online - Pick her up or meet her there?

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Apr 11, 2011
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Should I even offer? Has anyone who's done the online dating thing picked up their dates without having met them first? Would it creep them out to offer?

Any feedback is welcome.
 

potam

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May 4, 2013
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I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.
 

The Technomancer

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Jun 18, 2009
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I always meet them there, but thats because I'm a broke ass college student who bikes everywhere
 

Mr.City

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Mar 14, 2007
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The question would be what is your intention. Do you have a nice car and want to impress her? Do you want be a "nice guy" who doesn't want to make her drive/walk/bike all the way over there?

My hunch would be to meet her at the cafe/whatever.
 

kmax

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Feb 25, 2013
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Set up some place to meet up. If the date goes well, ask to take her home. If it doesn't, then you just bounce.

No complications.
 
Apr 11, 2011
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The question would be what is your intention. Do you have a nice car and want to impress her? Do you want be a "nice guy" who doesn't want to make her drive/walk/bike all the way over there?

My hunch would be to meet her at the cafe/whatever.

It's dumb, but I did recently get a nice car and would like to show it off a little bit....
 

Horse Detective

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May 24, 2011
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I did it OP and now I am in a happy relationship.
 

Keri

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Nov 24, 2011
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If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.
 

User 100115

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Mar 8, 2012
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If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.

This. Just meet some place public.
 
Apr 11, 2011
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No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.

Yeah, which is why I was hesistant. Even asking could creep her out. I'll just meet her there.
 

Arjen

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Jun 29, 2009
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Meet her there, picking someone up before meeting her sounds really weird to me.
 

Keri

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Nov 24, 2011
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Yeah, which is why I was hesistant. Even asking could creep her out. I'll just meet her there.

Yeah. I understand completely, you probably feel pressure to be chivalrous and offer to pick her up (which is common in traditional dating), but you've made the right call for this context. It's best just to meet her there.
 

hokahey

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I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.

This. Nothing worse than when an internet date turns terrible and you're dying to leave. I can't imagine having to then also drive her home.

First dates should always be constructed in such a way that it can end quick and easy without it seeming akward. But if it goes well you can always ask her if she wants to continue the date, come home etc.
 

Coriolanus

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Jul 24, 2013
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Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.
 
Apr 11, 2011
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Since you brought it up, I actually ran into her again in the parking lot again a couple of weeks ago. She recognized the car and asked if I was the one who left the note. Said it was cute, but she's married. She was also way older than I remember lol.

Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.

And they were all ok with just handing their address over to a complete stranger?
 

Unbounded

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Apr 8, 2012
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Always meet them there for the first date. Both as a safety precaution and a way out in case it goes poorly.

If it goes well/she's comfortable with you, you can pick her up in the future.
 

johnny_park

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Oct 4, 2007
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Only once have I picked someone up from her place and it was a disaster. She clearly had a few drinks in her, went to dinner where she drank some more, she was all over me through out the night, she wasn't my type and I couldn't ditch her. On the drive home she shoved her face in mine and started kissing me while I was driving.
It's better to meet up at the place because at least you can get out of there if it doesn't go well.
 

.GqueB.

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Dec 6, 2008
16,781
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Picking her up adds too much shit. If things go badly you're stuck driving her home instead of simply having the option to drive her home.
 

Coriolanus

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And they were all ok with just handing their address over to a complete stranger?

Most obviously wouldn`t be, If I hadnt chatted with them for at least 4-5 hours, and already gotten their phone number.

Seriously, women aren't some horrendously scared animal that'll bolt asap. You usually know if you've enough intimacy for that kinda thing. I do, anyway.
 

Zebra

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Oct 6, 2010
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Set up some place to meet up. If the date goes well, ask to take her home. If it doesn't, then you just bounce.

No complications.

But... if they meet up there and he offers to take her home, why would she leave her car/bike/segway there?
 

Amagon

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May 18, 2010
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Most obviously wouldn`t be, If I hadnt chatted with them for at least 4-5 hours, and already gotten their phone number.

Seriously, women aren't some horrendously scared animal that'll bolt asap. You usually know if you've enough intimacy for that kinda thing. I do, anyway.

So you're telling me I should treat women like human beings. Fuck, I've been doing it all wrong. :p
 
Sep 4, 2009
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I wouldn't even offer, and not necessarily for her sake.

What if it's the worst, most awkward date ever? Give yourself a chance to just go home cleanly without an even more awkward car ride to her place.

Thats a good enough reason. However, if I was the girl I dont think I would even let a guy I have never met pick me up
 

siddx

Magnificent Eager Mighty Brilliantly Erect Registereduser
Jun 1, 2009
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Meet her there. Give her an escape route. And yourself one as well.
 

hokahey

Member
Nov 28, 2007
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Gone on more than... probably 30 dates with girls I`ve met through the internet.
Only... twice have i ever met the girl at the combined place.

I don't even ask if she wants to be picked up, I simply ask where she lives and at what time she'll be ready.

if you want to increase the odds of a one night stand, it seems obvious that you should pick her up.

If a woman decides she's going to fuck you on the first date, which vehicle she's leaving in is irrelevant.

However, if you need to GTFO and are stuck driving? Phew. Rough one.
 

PS3GamerKyle

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Dec 6, 2008
3,114
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If you want to test her intelligence you can offer, but you are risking sounding creepy by doing so. No woman in her right mind should ever reveal her address to someone she's only met on the internet. And just by asking, it might raise a red flag for her.

This.

This issue isn't about being a "nice guy" or doing "the right thing" or anything like that. You haven't even seen the girl in person yet. Meet her in person at least once before trying something like that.
 

Shabadoo69

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Jun 18, 2009
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Always meet her there. I met my current girl friend online and I didn't know where she lived until the 4th date maybe. We did live about 30-45 minutes away from each other so we'd usually meet in the middle but it still would have been the same.
 

Fury Sense

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Nov 26, 2010
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Picking them up is fun, but I agree with the rest of the thread especially when it comes to meeting online. If you meet irl and you know something about them such as where they work or frequent, and they're already comfortable with you knowing that, then it's probably fine for a first date.
 

Mammoth Jones

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May 5, 2011
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Meet her there because I always advise my lady friends don't let some random dude know where you live right off the bat. Dude could end up being a creeper.
 

BigJonsson

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Jun 8, 2004
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Use public transit and meet her there :)

But if you are in the 'burbs and she doesn't drive then maybe you pick her up if you don't think it'll be awkward
 
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