Florida man charged with battery after throwing Cheez-It into woman's eye

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Police: Palm Bay man attacked woman with box of snack crackers

Police said a 37-year-old man upset because a woman attended an Earth Day concert, faces charges after throwing a box of snack crackers at her and injuring her eye.

Andy Vincent Gatz was charged with battery and violation of an injunction after Palm Bay police were called Monday to a home in the 500 block of Rhine Road to investigate a disturbance.

Police said Gatz, who was under a court-ordered injunction to avoid having any contact with the victim, confronted the woman over her attending the Orlando concert and then struck her with the box of Cheez-It crackers.

“A small square cracker apparently went into her right eye and caused her injury,” said Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department.

Police said Gatz – who later told officers that he only tossed a cracker at the woman and not a whole box – fled the scene but later turned himself in to authorities.

The woman was treated at the emergency room, police said.

A judge ordered Tuesday that Gatz was to have no further contact with the woman but could return to the home to retrieve personal goods under the supervision of a police officer.

He was allowed to leave jail on community supervision following a court hearing Wednesday, court records show.

He will have a May 8 court hearing on the charges.
I like the way the PD spokeswoman says 'apparently' as though to highlight the improbable ridiculousness of it all...

and the story isn't clear, is he being turfed out of his own home for throwing a cracker?
So much inconvenience just for losing your temper for .5 seconds.

Fuck that. Just walk away. It sucks. But I'd rather walk away from an encounter than have to deal with legal bullshit.
Attacking someone at distance with a single cheese-it cracker and hitting them at all takes some decent skill, getting a head shot is difficult under even ideal scenarios, but to hit someone in the eye and cause damage? Dude has a rare skill that must be studied.

Its not easy being cheesy...
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