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For Fuck's Sake

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
I keep trying to believe things will get better against the internal knowledge that they won't.

My moms car, our only car decided today was the day it was going to break and it broke after getting the oil changed. The dealership gave us a loner car but they are trying to pin it all on us, as usual. It was running fine, perfectly fine before it arrived at that dealership.

I have to get my shoulder replaced and that really fucking sucks since I will probably be rehabbing for the better part of a year or more, as it typical in my case with my diseases. The doctor also doesn't believe in prescribing drugs for pain management, so I won't even get those if he ends up being the surgeon I end up going with.

The fight for disability isn't going well either, it will probably be 4 years or more before I can get the $798 a month the government owes me because of my disabilities.

I've lost all respect for my father who is just a brain dead neonazi trump supporter. my mother just simply doesn't care either way.

Like I'd love to say I was doing well and everything is getting better and to truly believe that there is more to life than suffering and misfortune, that there is a point to my life and all the injustices I've suffered, seen other people suffer.

I almost threw myself into traffic today because I didn't want to live through this shit anymore, I called my therapist and he told me there wasn't anything he could do for me and he didn't know what to do. He's been worried about me a lot, I'm scared myself. I'm a at a wall for treatment that can't be broken, the only medications I can take are things that are outdated.

So that is my latest shit sandwich, what is yours GAF?

You know what was sad though, as we almost got into an accident when the car malfunctioned some white assholes drove by screaming the "Gas pedal is on the right you dumb N-words"

Trump's America Folks. Fucking christ, I promise if my existence means nothing else, I will take God to task for everything, not just for my shitty life but also everyone elses.
 

Wanda/Wander

Member
May 21, 2011
1,704
0
535
Life is a constant struggle. It's a fight, everyday, every moment, every second. True happiness doesn't come from avoiding that struggle, it comes from overcoming that pain you're feeling right now.

No matter what, never stop fighting.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
Life is a constant struggle. It's a fight, everyday, every moment, every second. True happiness doesn't come from avoiding that struggle, it comes from overcoming that pain you're feeling right now.

No matter what, never stop fighting.
Yeah but I've been fighting my whole life, watching others get what they want, where they want.

My whole life everything I want has been dangled in front of me like some terrible carrot on a string. I've tried hard to do all the right things, I'm questioning if it is worth fighting anymore because so far, I would say it isn't worth it at all in the slightest.

I believe in you dude. I know it's generic asf. I believe in you Brey. It will get better
Thanks fam.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Aug 11, 2015
2,667
0
0
This is the Nation Suicide Prevention Hotline:

1-800-273-8255

I once felt this hopeless. When my mom passed away about a year and a half ago. I didn't want to eat, I genuinely thought about ending my life, and isolated myself from everyone and just didn't want to exist anymore. That was my lowest point in my entire life. And guess what?


It got better. You have to reflect on what makes you happy and the people that do care about you. Humans are resilient-ass creatures. I went to therapy. I started cooking as a hobby. I started working out. I didn't let life kick me in the ass. I want to perservere because I wanted to be happy again. If you end it all now, you can never be happy again. You can never enjoy anything again. It might sound corny, but even now I give a fuck about you. I want you to get better. You can get better. You just gotta look to what gives you happiness at times like these.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
This is the Nation Suicide Prevention Hotline:

1-800-273-8255

I once felt this hopeless. When my mom passed away about a year and a half ago. I didn't want to eat, I genuinely thought about ending my life, and isolated myself from everyone and just didn't want to exist anymore. That was my lowest point in my entire life. And guess what?


It got better. You have to reflect on what makes you happy and the people that do care about you. Humans are resilient-ass creatures. I went to therapy. I started cooking as a hobby. I started working out. I didn't let life kick me in the ass. I want to perservere because I wanted to be happy again. If you end it all now, you can never be happy again. You can never enjoy anything again. It might sound corny, but even now I give a fuck about you. I want you to get better. You can get better. You just gotta look to what gives you happiness at times like these.
See but I'm so economically impoverished I can't do any of that. My physical disabilities make it near impossible to work out.

My only real life friend lives 50 miles away and works paycheck to paycheck like my family, and can't afford to see me.

I keep trying to set up dates and they either cancel on me for vague reasons, or I have to cancel because I can't afford it.

Everything is money, money, money, and I never get any or enough of it.

Like I hate this shithole country, my shitty life that keeps getting shittier and everything else.

For years people told me things would get better and they still aren't. It's like when they tell the bullies at school to leave you alone but they won't because they are assholes, but the bully of life you can't fight because it is invisible and intangible.

I think you need a new therapist if the current one doesn't know what to do.
I've been through a dozen and so far he has kept me from killing myself so I would say he is doing something right.
 

gdt

Member
Oct 20, 2007
40,446
2
0
31
Pennsylvania
This is never ending with you man.

Seems like you need a new therapist to begin with, and then maybe, if you can, a fresh start somewhere new? I dunno man, I don't have the experience to give you advice.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
This is never ending with you man.

Seems like you need a new therapist to begin with, and then maybe, if you can, a fresh start somewhere new? I dunno man, I don't have the experience to give you advice.
Yeah I know, I'm sick of it man.

I'm sick of everything and its killing me.

I'm always pulling for you, man. Hang in there, shit will get better.
I want to believe.
 

TestOfTide

Banned
Nov 13, 2009
5,638
0
0
Massachusetts
My advice would be to just build up whatever money you can into getting a ride and getting the fuck out of wherever you are right now because it clearly is not a place that is working for you.

You mentioned a friend who lives 50 miles away. Do they live closer or further away from the city, because I think you'll have a much better chance if you move to somewhere that has some actual fucking jobs and economy to it.
 

highrider

Gold Member
Dec 18, 2010
10,273
4,539
1,020
53
washington d.c.
Life can have extended periods of shit. I'm sorry it's like that for you now bro. Placation usually irritates me when I'm in the shit so I'll just say I hope things look up soon.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
Aug 11, 2015
2,667
0
0
See but I'm so economically impoverished I can't do any of that. My physical disabilities make it near impossible to work out.

My only real life friend lives 50 miles away and works paycheck to paycheck like my family, and can't afford to see me.

I keep trying to set up dates and they either cancel on me for vague reasons, or I have to cancel because I can't afford it.

Everything is money, money, money, and I never get any or enough of it.

Like I hate this shithole country, my shitty life that keeps getting shittier and everything else.

For years people told me things would get better and they still aren't. It's like when they tell the bullies at school to leave you alone but they won't because they are assholes, but the bully of life you can't fight because it is invisible and intangible.



I've been through a dozen and so far he has kept me from killing myself so I would say he is doing something right.
You've made it this far. I don't know what you do for a living, but I know, as naive as I may sound as a 20 year-old college student, if you put your mind to it, you CAN do it. You can save up as much money as you can. You can move to wherever you want (closer to your friend), you can start a new life wherever you want even. Try to focus on yourself for now before you start dating again.

And so what if the bully of life is invisible and intangible? That just means it can't touch you.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
My advice would be to just build up whatever money you can into getting a ride and getting the fuck out of wherever you are right now because it clearly is not a place that is working for you.

You mentioned a friend who lives 50 miles away. Do they live closer or further away from the city, because I think you'll have a much better chance if you move to somewhere that has some actual fucking jobs and economy to it.
He lives in Denver, but he lives with roomates and I already asked if I could stay with him and he flat out said no.

I don't know what to do GAF, I have no money, no way of obtaining it.

It seems like I'm in the last few days or months of my life, everything coming to a roaring, crashing end.

I keep working my next novel, but I don't see the point in it anymore. I still feel like I should write it, and publish it like my first one, but what is the point? I could write twenty books and never have enough money.

I hate the rich so much, they don't have to worry about shit like I do.

I mean I could take being miserable, never being able to drive, not having a relationship of any kind, being crazy if I had wealth. Bills paid, everything I could need.

I've wanted it since I was 8 years old watching my family struggle. I've done everything I can with my limitations to try to achieve this goal. I've pretty much failed with a terrible support system to go with it.

From the moment I was brought into this world my parents were the only ones who supported me while also mentally abusing me my whole life. I've pretty much got stockholm syndrome.

You've made it this far. I don't know what you do for a living, but I know, as naive as I may sound as a 20 year-old college student, if you put your mind to it, you CAN do it. You can save up as much money as you can. You can move to wherever you want (closer to your friend), you can start a new life wherever you want even. Try to focus on yourself for now before you start dating again.

And so what if the bully of life is invisible and intangible? That just means it can't touch you.
That's not how life works. If it can't touch me that also means I can't touch it.
 

KurtFehl

Member
Jul 20, 2015
408
12
285
North Carolina
OP needs some real help, not some motivational​words that won't help at all.

Sorry OP, your situation sucks. Do you feel like your friend cares about you?
 

jb1234

Member
Aug 10, 2009
17,219
1
0
Seattle, WA
The older (and sicker) I get, the more I realize that life is really about luck. People like to think that they have choice in their fates but the things that really strike us down are completely out of our control. It's very hard not to be bitter (and angry) at the people who are luckier than we are. I struggle with it all the time. It's even gotten to the point where I've basically disengaged from Facebook because I can't stand to see people doing all the things I wish I could do (like travel) but can't because my health is shit.

Basically, I don't have any advice. I can't get out of the pit either and I feel like I'm sinking. But they say that as long as there is life, there is hope. I just don't know how realistic that truly is.
 

SomTervo

Member
Jan 19, 2015
15,314
2
0
Scotland
There might be some point - maybe years, maybe decades from now - where you finally slow down for just one moment and think "... you know what? Things are OK. This moment is OK."

Life is just a giant steep uphill battle to reach those moments.

You have it steeper than most - all the best, man.
 

TestOfTide

Banned
Nov 13, 2009
5,638
0
0
Massachusetts
He lives in Denver, but he lives with roomates and I already asked if I could stay with him and he flat out said no.

I don't know what to do GAF, I have no money, no way of obtaining it.
So you are 50 miles from Denver. That's key. Do whatever you can to get to Denver and then try to get a job in Denver because I guarantee you it'll be WAY easier to get a job in the City than where you are right now.

All you need is to just convince your friend to somehow help you find a place to stay.

It seems like I'm in the last few days or months of my life, everything coming to a roaring, crashing end.

I keep working my next novel, but I don't see the point in it anymore. I still feel like I should write it, and publish it like my first one, but what is the point? I could write twenty books and never have enough money.

I hate the rich so much, they don't have to worry about shit like I do.

I mean I could take being miserable, never being able to drive, not having a relationship of any kind, being crazy if I had wealth. Bills paid, everything I could need.

I've wanted it since I was 8 years old watching my family struggle. I've done everything I can with my limitations to try to achieve this goal. I've pretty much failed with a terrible support system to go with it.

From the moment I was brought into this world my parents were the only ones who supported me while also mentally abusing me my whole life. I've pretty much got stockholm syndrome.
Don't worry about your family for now. Just focus on yourself for now and when you have everything about yourself all stable THEN you can start worrying about your family.
 

SomTervo

Member
Jan 19, 2015
15,314
2
0
Scotland
So you are 50 miles from Denver. That's key. Do whatever you can to get to Denver and then try to get a job in Denver because I guarantee you it'll be WAY easier to get a job in the City than where you are right now.

All you need is to just convince your friend to somehow help you find a place to stay.



Don't worry about your family for now. Just focus on yourself for now and when you have everything about yourself all stable THEN you can start worrying about your family.
True advice

If the family are the ball and chain, slip the ball and chain.
 

Dipper145

Member
Dec 17, 2008
1,667
0
0
Have you looked into ECT at all? (if you're qualified for it, which requires many attempts of a wide variety of all types of available medications / other therapies (at least where I'm from)) Not sure of the price of it where you live, I suppose I'm extremely lucky in the sense that my doctor got me into a very high tier mental health facility that generally costs people 50k+ a month for free. Most of the other people I made friends with while in there wanted to do ECT after seeing the effect it had on me, but didn't qualify for it.

I went through that treatment about 2 months ago now and I'm doing way better than I was before. Right after my last treatment I was over the moon with how amazing I felt. There's been a bit of a backslide afterwards (mostly energy-level wise), but there's always different medications to try for that, and maintenance ECT as an option as well.

Depending on how long you've been struggling, and how many treatment options you have tried, it might be worth discussing it with your psychiatrist. With it I went from a ~27 on the PHQ-9 to a ~1 after completion of all the ECT treatments.

I share similar struggles to you regarding money/living situation/other, so I definitely understand how you are feeling. I've suffered for 8-9 years before finding something that helps me feel so much better. Just know there are lots of options out there and something might work for you.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
OP needs some real help, not some motivational​words that won't help at all.

Sorry OP, your situation sucks. Do you feel like your friend cares about you?
I think on a basic level, he considers me his best friend, we've been friends for like 7 years now, maybe six and a half. It's been a long time, and we both get along really well and he's more of an introvert than me. So, sometimes he's hard to read.

I know he is going through some shit too, so like most of the time I try to talk about other things besides myself or game design since he aspires to have developed a game with a box on the shelf. I always find creative works admirable perhaps I'm biased since I'm a writer, it's a hard life being a digital artist. he always told me he'd work with me on a game if I learned at least level design, which when I went through and made some DOOM II wads he said I had promise but rough around the edges, which makes sense since he wants me to do Level Design and writing the story. I rant all the time about the Looking Glass era and pointing out how great the design was, and if I were to design anything I would design things like that. He also wants me to finish up some articles I set aside for his website.

I don't know if I have the passion for it that he does, I mean when I was younger I did but I tried to focus on getting into college, getting jobs, but nothing came. I just felt like I was constantly hitting a wall. I remembered there were people when I was younger that said I should write books, so somewhere around 2009 I kinda came up with the ideas for my current books, wrote on and off while trying to find work and continuing to live with my abusive parents. I mean my therapist agrees that they are sociopaths, they are good at showing emotion. They literally told me since I was 4 that I have to take care of them and give them all my money, I'm responsible for them. Meanwhile my dad tells me I was an accident, a mistake, but hey I love you son.

Now, with my disabilities which arguing with the government back and forth how SRA, Fibromyalgia, MDD, PTSD, Schizophrenia, somehow aren't illnesses, it doesn't help I live in a backwards county in Northern Colorado. The hud housing is backed for like the next year and the only place that might have a space for me is Denver but they won't give it to me since I live too far away, basically.

As for why I can't take most of the modern meds it is because I'm allergic to them, especially anything derived from Benzos.

your dad is a black neo nazi?
I'm white, where did you think I was black. Greeley is a fucking shithole dude, people say dumb racist shit all day long.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
"'Gas pedal is on the right you dumb N-words'"
Yeah, like I said, this place is a shithole. You know what my Dad calls juryrigging? Nwordrigging. Fucking asshole.

The local south philly cheesesteaks has a literal KKK member that works there, tattoos, confederate flags all over the truck, and he loves Trump.
 

Travo

Member
Jul 31, 2014
2,518
0
0
I feel ya man. I can barely walk anymore because I need a hip replacement. I'll never run again. It sucks being disabled ( or feeling that way, at least) and having two little kids. I pay my bills but never get to save or buy nice things. I feel so useless at times. Hang in there, find yourself a good support group. You matter and you make a difference believe it or not.
 

TestOfTide

Banned
Nov 13, 2009
5,638
0
0
Massachusetts
Yeah, like I said, this place is a shithole. You know what my Dad calls juryrigging? Nwordrigging. Fucking asshole.

The local south philly cheesesteaks has a literal KKK member that works there, tattoos, confederate flags all over the truck, and he loves Trump.
Like I said, your focus needs to be about getting out of there (though I say as you transition you should keep in contact with your therapist).

Rural America is a shithole. There is no way around this fact. You want a job so you can start actually making some money? Then you need to get the hell out of rural America and move to the cities where almost all of the jobs are.

EDIT:
Thanks man, my knees are shot from trying to lose weight when I was 19(26 now), I did a bunch of running and jogging to lose weight, I also got into a dumb bycicle accident that screwed up my shoulder to begin with. I lost altogether around 200 pounds maybe more, and I maintain around 240ish maybe 230ish. To be honest, I am starting to feel it in my hips too but my doctor has told me it is because of my systemic rheumatoid arthritis which is tearing up my spine currently.
All the more reason you need to get the hell out of rural America and move to the city. Living in the city encourages you to walk and take public transportation rather than just drive everywhere. You'll lose the weight naturally.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
I feel ya man. I can barely walk anymore because I need a hip replacement. I'll never run again. It sucks being disabled ( or feeling that way, at least) and having two little kids. I pay my bills but never get to save or buy nice things. I feel so useless at times. Hang in there, find yourself a good support group. You matter and you make a difference believe it or not.
Thanks man, my knees are shot from trying to lose weight when I was 19(26 now), I did a bunch of running and jogging to lose weight, I also got into a dumb bycicle accident that screwed up my shoulder to begin with. I lost altogether around 200 pounds maybe more, and I maintain around 240ish maybe 230ish. To be honest, I am starting to feel it in my hips too but my doctor has told me it is because of my systemic rheumatoid arthritis which is tearing up my spine currently.

Like I said, your focus needs to be about getting out of there (though I say as you transition you should keep in contact with your therapist).

Rural America is a shithole. There is no way around this fact. You want a job so you can start actually making some money? Then you need to get the hell out of rural America and move to the cities where almost all of the jobs are.

EDIT:

All the more reason you need to get the hell out of rural America and move to the city. Living in the city encourages you to walk and take public transportation rather than just drive everywhere. You'll lose the weight naturally.
Except I can't just pick up and go. I also can't exercise that much because of my sicknesses.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
This sounds like we should call the FBI.
Why? I'm not gonna hurt anyone. I am merely stating how whenever I end up dying from my sicknesses, and I meet God or whatever exists after this, I'm going to have a long chat.

Edit: are you an Atheist? I mean I can understand that reaction but really come on now. I have no money for anything I don't own any guns anymore, I have no desire to purchase one because it is a waste of money for a hunk of plastic or metal. I'm just a bitter sick person, I barely have enough strength to get out of bed most days.
 
V

Vilix

Unconfirmed Member
You're not alone, OP. I've had to worked double for everything. Life just seems easier for some and harder for others.
 

AuthenticM

Member
Mar 2, 2010
22,588
30
0
You say you have no money, but do you have debt? If not, you could just pack your stuff, more far away to a different scenery, find an easy job there and rebuilt your life from there.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
You say you have no money, but do you have debt? If not, you could just pack your stuff, more far away to a different scenery, find an easy job there and rebuilt your life from there.
My parents bankrupted me at 16 by overdrawing my first bank account and never paying on it after they did that to their own bank account which was like, the third or something. Basically they guilt tripped me for two weeks, took away my stuff, my video games which was my only escape at the time. My credit history is ruined.
 
Nov 18, 2016
1,336
557
495
In all honesty, I think it's immoral to bring children into such an existence. If you can ignore majority of it which is crap and enjoy the rest, that's what is essentially a life of worth.

If you absolutely know can't, well...
 

TestOfTide

Banned
Nov 13, 2009
5,638
0
0
Massachusetts
Except I can't just pick up and go. I also can't exercise that much because of my sicknesses.
Well you kinda HAVE TO pick up and go at this point. Staying with in rural America with your shitty dad is not helping you.

And I'm not telling you to suddenly be doing be doing 300lb squats. I'm saying that simply the fact that you will be walking around more if you move to the city will help immensely with losing weight.

Seriously. Get the fuck out of Rural America and I guarantee you things will improve.
 
May 3, 2009
11,887
0
0
Canuckistan
twitter.com
My parents bankrupted me at 16 by overdrawing my first bank account and never paying on it after they did that to their own bank account which was like, the third or something. Basically they guilt tripped me for two weeks, took away my stuff, my video games which was my only escape at the time. My credit history is ruined.

.. so do you still live with them?

why didn't you call the police while the ordeal was beginning?
 

gregor7777

Banned
Jan 17, 2007
13,379
0
0
My parents bankrupted me at 16 by overdrawing my first bank account and never paying on it after they did that to their own bank account which was like, the third or something. Basically they guilt tripped me for two weeks, took away my stuff, my video games which was my only escape at the time. My credit history is ruined.
This doesn't add up. That wouldn't be on your credit report if you were 16, and it certainly doesn't ruin your credit even if it was. Stuff drops off after 7 years. Improving your credit isnt difficult, just takes patience and discipline.
 

SolVanderlyn

Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Oct 14, 2012
27,297
7
985
za warudo
creditconcerto.blogspot.com
Man, I know shit sucks. But you just have to hold in there. Surely you remember feeling happy at some point? Good times come and go.

Take this from someone who's been at rock bottom for very long periods of time.
 

Choppasmith

Member
Mar 22, 2009
8,314
1
880
I don't know if I have any real words of encouragement OP, but I know how you feel. I really feel "stuck" myself. I'm not suicidal, but there are times where I just wish I could start over. I'm 33 and have no girlfriend, no friends to really hang out with and just a decent day job. I have to admit, while I live with my uncle who can be a handful and a real test of patience sometimes, I can't even comprehend what it must be like to be in your situation.

I just try to live day to day. As I said in a similar thread recently, and what people have said here, you really have to do what's best for YOU.
 

CertifiedFP

Member
Mar 25, 2013
5,385
2
470
My moms car, our only car decided today was the day it was going to break and it broke after getting the oil changed. The dealership gave us a loner car but they are trying to pin it all on us, as usual. It was running fine, perfectly fine before it arrived at that dealership.
They Fucked You. No doubt about it.

Had the same thing happen with one of my cars last year. It was perfectly fine until a minor issue that required maintenance came up, and then problem after problem suddenly started arising out of nowhere. And then after visiting Jiffy Lube to get those new issues fixed, two of my wheels flew off in the middle of driving the same night.

Had I more money I'd have lawyered up and nuked the fuckers for the blatant foul-play.
 

dukeoflegs

Member
Dec 8, 2012
918
5
400
snip

So that is my latest shit sandwich, what is yours GAF?
My daughter no longer wants to visit me or replies to my text/phone calls. We had three weekends last year where she visited where normally it is every other weekend. I still have Christmas presents for here just sitting here.

The company I was working at closed the studio/team I was with in February. I am the only one from my team that hasn't been able to get employment.

My brother died 2 weeks ago because of his liver and kidneys failing from alcohol. I sat there in his room at the hospital while his mind slowly faded.

I deleted my facebook account late last year and when I try to contact friends via text messages to hang out they don't respond.

Yeah 2017 is lame.

Edit:
Don't mean to derail or diminish what you are going through RoyaleDuke. I hope you get some better mojo going for you soon.
 

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Apr 7, 2014
5,539
0
0
Evans, Colorado
My daughter no longer wants to visit me or replies to my text/phone calls. We had three weekends last year where she visited where normally it is every other weekend. I still have Christmas presents for here just sitting here.

The company I was working at closed the studio/team I was with in February. I am the only one from my team that hasn't been able to get employment.

My brother died 2 weeks ago because of his liver and kidneys failing from alcohol. I sat there in his room at the hospital while his mind slowly faded.

I deleted my facebook account late last year and when I try to contact friends via text messages to hang out they don't respond.

Yeah 2017 is lame.

Edit:
Don't mean to derail or diminish what you are going through RoyaleDuke. I hope you get some better mojo going for you soon.
Nah, man you are okay if anything you need more help than me, I can't imagine what it is like to have a kid and be on the rocks. Thanks for the wishes though man, I appreciate it. I hope things get better for you.

They Fucked You. No doubt about it.

Had the same thing happen with one of my cars last year. It was perfectly fine until a minor issue that required maintenance came up, and then problem after problem suddenly started arising out of nowhere. And then after visiting Jiffy Lube to get those new issues fixed, two of my wheels flew off in the middle of driving the same night.

Had I more money I'd have lawyered up and nuked the fuckers for the blatant foul-play.
Yeah we have no money or way to lawyer up.

I don't know if I have any real words of encouragement OP, but I know how you feel. I really feel "stuck" myself. I'm not suicidal, but there are times where I just wish I could start over. I'm 33 and have no girlfriend, no friends to really hang out with and just a decent day job. I have to admit, while I live with my uncle who can be a handful and a real test of patience sometimes, I can't even comprehend what it must be like to be in your situation.

I just try to live day to day. As I said in a similar thread recently, and what people have said here, you really have to do what's best for YOU.
Thanks man I just don't know what to do anymore, the sentiments are much appreciated.

Man, I know shit sucks. But you just have to hold in there. Surely you remember feeling happy at some point? Good times come and go.

Take this from someone who's been at rock bottom for very long periods of time.
I don't think I've ever really been happy, these days I force myself through everything.

This doesn't add up. That wouldn't be on your credit report if you were 16, and it certainly doesn't ruin your credit even if it was. Stuff drops off after 7 years. Improving your credit isnt difficult, just takes patience and discipline.
Actually it does.

No one will give me a bank account or a credit card, I can get walmart debit cards which are basically glorified gift cards. The only place that would give me a bank account was Academy Bank which is terrible and I have to put like $150 dollars or some ludicrous amount of money into it first.
 

AuthenticM

Member
Mar 2, 2010
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My parents bankrupted me at 16 by overdrawing my first bank account and never paying on it after they did that to their own bank account which was like, the third or something. Basically they guilt tripped me for two weeks, took away my stuff, my video games which was my only escape at the time. My credit history is ruined.
Find a lawyer that would give you free legal counsel. There is a legal recourse somewhere that can help you clear your credit name.
 

gregor7777

Banned
Jan 17, 2007
13,379
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Actually it does.

No one will give me a bank account or a credit card, I can get walmart debit cards which are basically glorified gift cards.
If you aren't past the 7 years, which it sounds like you aren't, then what you need is a secured credit card. You will need to put money down. $250 will do it. Then, after you pay the bill in full for 6-12 months, you will be able to get a regular credit card. Use that, and again of course, pay the bill in full every month. You can get back there, but like I said earlier, you will need patience and discipline. Good luck.
 

dragonzdogma

Member
Jul 12, 2014
5,400
3
470
dallas TX
Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time, this guy has inspired me immensely, it's a religious dude , but nonetheless he's attitude and message is relevant to anyone imo.

Take a look.

https://youtu.be/2isQjBNiC7c


I sincerely wish you the best and I'm going to pray for you, and if you don't believe in prayer , just know I'm wishing you positive things for life.
 

Sub Boss

Member
Mar 6, 2013
20,895
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640
The older (and sicker) I get, the more I realize that life is really about luck. People like to think that they have choice in their fates but the things that really strike us down are completely out of our control. It's very hard not to be bitter (and angry) at the people who are luckier than we are. I struggle with it all the time. It's even gotten to the point where I've basically disengaged from Facebook because I can't stand to see people doing all the things I wish I could do (like travel) but can't because my health is shit.

Basically, I don't have any advice. I can't get out of the pit either and I feel like I'm sinking. But they say that as long as there is life, there is hope. I just don't know how realistic that truly is.
THIS.

but, at the same time, not a healthy way to look at it. I mean Duke you said you hate the wealthy, only for being wealthy, when they can have almost as many problems with shitty parents/brothers/people around them and some indeed good persons.

Life is struggling and i personally can't judge anyone that gets tired of it and ends , ever, but the least i can say is that everyone deserves a chance to be happy, that you are worthy of being here and we all share experiences.even watching a new movie learning about the world ,see a sunset or having an interesting conversation can put a smile on your face and isn't worth something?
 
Feb 27, 2014
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FWIW I know what it's like to live forever broke. It fucking sucks for sure. All I can say is cling on to those things that do make you happy and indulge in them to free up some of the stress. The world being in a shit place right now is depressing as fuck too, but remember it's the little things that make up life. Sometimes the things that pick you back up is the stupidest most insignificant crap in the grand scheme, but it's well worth hanging in there for.
 

Username1198

Member
Feb 19, 2016
4,659
0
0
plz dont deport me
The older (and sicker) I get, the more I realize that life is really about luck. People like to think that they have choice in their fates but the things that really strike us down are completely out of our control. It's very hard not to be bitter (and angry) at the people who are luckier than we are. I struggle with it all the time. It's even gotten to the point where I've basically disengaged from Facebook because I can't stand to see people doing all the things I wish I could do (like travel) but can't because my health is shit.

Basically, I don't have any advice. I can't get out of the pit either and I feel like I'm sinking. But they say that as long as there is life, there is hope. I just don't know how realistic that truly is.
Count me in the pit of despair as well. I've pretty much all but given up, even hopes running out. I'm sorry for your troubles op, I don't have any advice either, as my life sucks fucking ass too, I wish I knew what to do. hopefully it gets better for you.