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Former Harry Potter fan-podcaster does not take rejection well

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dreams

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Jun 12, 2013
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If you want to chase after the guy on twitter or other social media, well, we can't stop you. But please don't post about it here.



I don't think this is particularly a gaf thing. Just look at the countless meltdowns last year over freebsdgirl's Good Game Autoblocker tool. People get upset when other people ignore them or refuse to listen to them, and blocking can feel like a digital extension of that. I think the reaction is misplaced, but I can understand where it comes from.
That's true. I just meant that there have been a few threads here even just today where a person has been told they were making an extreme choice by blocking someone on social media.
 
Nov 10, 2005
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I love that he's acting like it's an insult to be said to be an ex-Harry Potter podcaster. It's not an insult to you, you just happened to have peaked at 15.

Also Chuck asking for his perspective on the Internet being unsafe for women when he directed negative attention to a woman who he falsely claimed made a false rape accusation.
 

Sagroth

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Feb 22, 2015
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I just really hope that there's at least one voice inside this guy, even if it's getting drowned out, saying "maybe I am the problem."

I mean, FFS, what reality does this guy live in?

The problem is that he felt entitled to a different response than he got due to his perceptions of himself as a person, and that also led to him feeling a level of hurt from her response/lack of that was waaaay over what the situation justified. So in his mind, he's a nice guy who doesn't deserve the poor treatment he had from her. He's reacting entirely from an emotional position that has no rational foundation(though he is doing all sorts of false rationalizing in his own mind).

The feedback he has gotten from the internet has only caused him to latch onto the hurt even more(because of course it hurts to see people on the internet call you a villain). That shit is on him, though.
 

captainnapalm

Member
Oct 26, 2011
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Blocking complete strangers that give you a weird vibe on social media shouldn't be an action that is even questioned. You have the right to completely control who can and cannot interact with you. Him being a bit butthurt about getting blocked is understandable but his actions since then prove once again that the gut instinct you get about a person is often for good reason. If she hadn't blocked him, he probably would've kept tweeting her/messaging her on Facebook and then when his messages went unanswered, he would've flipped out anyway.

You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.
 

TimeEffect

Member
Mar 17, 2010
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Yes, this man so wants to be left alone that he's posting wildly on Twitter, running a stream from his home, and giving an interview to Chuck Johnson.

Mean old internet, chasing this guy around while he tries to hide himself.

Since he's kind of known online, I imagine it's too hard to resist making excuses and trying to save face. He's snowballing out of control and won't stop because the internet will just pile on.

I get goosebumps just imagining myself in this position. How do you not want to dig up a hole and hide forever?

Regardless, it's fascinating: people like him exist and get away with this kind of behaviour. It's pretty interesting to see a stage develop to discuss this stuff, because usually when this happens, it happens privately or anonymously.
 

Zeyphersan

Banned
Jun 14, 2013
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You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.

That's been shown countless times to not work at all. Definitely would not have worked for this guy
 

Palette Swap

Member
May 13, 2009
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That place there.
Yeah, the guy sounds like a crazy jerk but hunting or teasing him on social media is just adding more assholes to the formula.

Human beings really, really hate "taking the L," though. And I include myself in this.
To be fair, in my experience, there's very little incentive to do this in real life. Much like saying "I don't know", saying "I was wrong" has way too often a worse payout than either doubling down on errors or simply moving on quietly.

Social media is particular in that it's very public and asynchronous, leaving your mistakes for anyone and everyone to scrutinize. If fewer people can see your mistakes for a shorter time, you're a lot less at a risk of being caught. On the other hand, admitting to being wrong or not knowing makes it instantly very visible.

I think people just naturally transitioned to social media and kept this intuitive approach that traditionally works, except the framework isn't the same at all.

(This is obviously less true for people used to publishing or making public statements)
 
Jul 3, 2004
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You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.
Man, you should talk to some women about this. Your ideal does not play out well in reality.
 

TimeEffect

Member
Mar 17, 2010
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This 2 man stream is so entertaining.

this charles guy passes off the catcalling video as "guys just saying hi". How is this not going to result in his termination? He's a journalist, right?

The Google video thing seems to have some dots-- click the really low ones to see moments in the stream that are downvoted lol.
 

TwEE-N-Toast

Banned
Mar 3, 2012
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Weird guy, obviously something wrong with him. You should always mail a doll made of your hair clippings to the woman before initiating contact.
 

Littlefang

Member
Feb 14, 2015
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"In the early days of the internet we used it to learn things."

Pretty sure it was first and foremost used for porn.
 

aeolist

Banned
Oct 31, 2006
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this charles guy passes off the catcalling video as "guys just saying hi". How is this not going to result in his termination? He's a journalist, right?

this shit is his modus operandi

he has his own site but he also does freelance trolling for various right-wing rags
 

someday

Banned
Mar 7, 2010
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You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.
From reading the link in the OP, she favorited one tweet initially then ignored him on Twitter. He then switched to Facebook and sent her a long message there saying that she was "the one." She told him politely that she was seeing someone and then blocked him on both sites. She had been more than patient with this guy and had every right to block him. She was as "nice as possible" and this is where we are. Not long after her nice Facebook message he started with the angry Tweets.
 
Jun 27, 2010
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Sweet Jesus, try to smother her with compliments, when she shoots him down, start acting like a sad cunt and begin attacking her.

Such a pathetic and desperate display.
 

ibrahima

Banned
Mar 22, 2012
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this is the internet equivalent of two guys sitting at a bar saying 'fuck that girl' for about four or five hours whilst getting through a couple of beers.

that's healthy, this isn't.
 

ReAxion

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Nov 12, 2013
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this charles guy passes off the catcalling video as "guys just saying hi". How is this not going to result in his termination? He's a journalist, right?

He's not a journalist. He just knows that's a word and he applies it to himself without understanding what it is to be one.

He wanted to sue twitter for banning him for harassment.
 

bengraven

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Nov 28, 2005
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Ah, the classic shaming of the woman you were attracted to. First lesson in the "how to be a fucking socially inept nerd".
 
Nov 14, 2005
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He's crazy, this strategy actually worked for him in the past, or he's crazy and this strategy actually worked for him in the past
 

TimeEffect

Member
Mar 17, 2010
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You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.

This is the wrong way of thinking about things though. She doesn't owe him anything.

She doesn't have to be nice as possible either. Keep in mind that she likely has received messages like this before from other people. She doesn't want a response back. A response back means that things escalate. If he has the chance to reply, he now expects her to reply too. He already has a strong sense of attachment to her. Who wants to deal with that crap?

And if you read his message, he is incredibly creepy. He tries to pass it off as just joking around, but do you really think that's true? If he wants to offer her a "job" or get her on a podcast, be a professional.

On top of all that, her suspicions are warranted. Look at his reaction and realize that she likely deals with guys like this often. Do they all deserve a "chance"?
 

kitchenmotors

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Jun 7, 2004
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Oh man, this guy talking about how he was a rock star in the Harry Potter world and girls were lining up to sleep with him.

 
Jul 3, 2004
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Ah, the classic shaming of the woman you were attracted to. First lesson in the "how to be a fucking socially inept nerd".
I can understand on a basic level the humiliation and bad feelings when someone gets rejected, but I will never understand how almost all dudes of this sort go immediately to insulting, degrading, and demeaning the women they were so attracted to right before their rejection. It's fucking crazy. It has no logic to it. The closest explanation I can imagine is it's an extreme escalation of the "if I can't have her, no one can" thing by making her out to be garbage so no one else will take her? But even then, you'd think these dudes see that everyone sees through them at some point.
 

captainnapalm

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Oct 26, 2011
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What the heck, why?

She politely rejected him. Why does she need to give him the chance to back off? That makes no sense at all. No one is ever owed anything.

Is it really polite when you're blocking them at the same time? I don't know, I'm not a big social media guy (thank god).

At the end of the day, he was a complete stranger to her, so it's understandable. I mean they were Facebook friends, but what the hell does that mean.

God, talking about this stuff is almost as depressing as having to live in a world obsessed by it.
 

JDSN

Banned
Sep 13, 2006
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this is the internet equivalent of two guys sitting at a bar saying 'fuck that girl' for about four or five hours whilst getting through a couple of beers.

that's healthy, this isn't.
Its healthy for the rest of humanity because by the time the five hours have passed one guy starts admitting that he shares some of the blame.
 
Mar 3, 2011
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Is it really polite when you're blocking them at the same time? I don't know, I'm not a big social media guy (thank god).

At the end of the day, he was a complete stranger to her, so it's understandable. I mean they were Facebook friends, but what the hell does that mean.

You figured it out as your post went along.
 

Zeyphersan

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Jun 14, 2013
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"I don't want to be known as the Harry Potter guy, that's so far in the rearview mirror for me"

"I mean, I was such a rock star in the Harry Potter community that women were lining up to sleep with me"
 

Cybit

FGC Waterboy
Jul 17, 2013
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this is the internet equivalent of two guys sitting at a bar saying 'fuck that girl' for about four or five hours whilst getting through a couple of beers.

that's healthy, this isn't.

Holy crap, it really is. I need to remember this analogy.
 
Nov 24, 2007
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I wonder if when he woke up today, he'd be on a Google Hangout with Chuck Johnson talking about how Mike Brown didn't really have his hands up.
 

lethial

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May 12, 2005
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What a surprise.... Grown ass man who's a Harry Potter fan club runner can't talk to women
 

Zeyphersan

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Jun 14, 2013
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this is the internet equivalent of two guys sitting at a bar saying 'fuck that girl' for about four or five hours whilst getting through a couple of beers.

that's healthy, this isn't.

They're not saying "fuck that girl," though. Not really. The point of this hangout is more or less "fuck women," which is never healthy.

The "fuck that girl" talk is appropriate like, post-breakup. When a relationship ends. But they never had a relationship, he's just a creepy loser. It's inappropriate on all fronts
 

Beloved

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Aug 24, 2014
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You're probably right. He more than likely wouldn't have backed off. But you should at least give people the chance. Turning someone down is already enough of a rebuke without the blocking. You want to be as nice as possible when you give someone the talk.

If you've made it clear you're not interested and they still carry on, by all means, block them and shame them if you have to.

"You should at least give people the chance"

Why? No one owes a stranger over the internet anything, especially if they are being creepy. Also she said she has a boyfriend. That shouldn't even be taken as a "rebuke" or "rejection", she was unavailable to begin with which is probably something that he should've (or at least, could've) known ahead of time since they were Facebook friends. If he DID know, he's even more of a creep.
 

ibrahima

Banned
Mar 22, 2012
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They're not saying "fuck that girl," though. Not really. The point of this hangout is more or less "fuck women," which is never healthy.

The "fuck that girl" talk is appropriate like, post-breakup. When a relationship ends. But they never had a relationship, he's just a creepy loser. It's inappropriate on all fronts

You're right, I think when I said internet equivalent I probably should have said millennial creep equivalent.
 

d9b

Banned
Nov 21, 2013
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Actual quote:

"Um, I have no idea of any coercion that's ever taken place. You know, I was pretty much the equivalent of a rock star in the Harry Potter community and they were lining up to sleep with me. I didn't need to do any coercion."
Classy.
 
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