I had a fairly unpleasant experience playing this game two days ago, and it's weighing on my mind a little bit in that I feel like I should have dealt with it better and nipped the situation in the bud, the more I think about it the more I feel like the other person involved was very much in the wrong and should have been held more accountable.
Basically, I was playing for a few hours on Friday and all was good. I was host, had a perfectly good full lobby going for a fair while - no issues whatsoever. This guy who is on my friends list and plays with the same group of people that I regularly play with came online and asked for an invite. I happily backed out of the lobby into the party which had one spot left so that he could join. This guy had generally seemed okay to me in the past, having played with him quite a few times. I had noticed little things like how he would sometimes escape in the 4 seater alone or with one friend and leave several people behind, in fact about two days before this "incident" occurred he left in the blue car minutes into the game without picking a single other person up (I and another friend wanted to stay because it would have been boring to escape immediately, but I doubt the rest of the lobby felt the same way). I remember he ragequit once when he had got 0 kills and people were escaping. Whatever, I still thought he was decent enough regardless of things like that, which I'm only mentioning to help put his bullshit little meltdown towards me into perspective.
In the first game after I backed out so he could join, this annoying narcissistic moron who I had recently blocked joined on the waiting for players screen. This guy would glitch and cheat in various ways constantly, send PM's asking to form alliances, he literally yelled "THE GAME IS STILL BROKEN" over and over again one day after he got killed by me then said that his headset now has a huge dent in it after he threw it at the wall. He used to PM me messages like "U tryhard as jason no skill", to which I'd reply "omg totes" or "uh huh" or simply "ok". The last few times I had played with him and I was Jason, he quit as soon as the kill begun, the first time he joined back before it ended and PM'd me "Crashed", then when the game ended he was like "That was the worst Jason I've ever seen". Oh noes, my Jasoning abilities are under attack. The most recent time, he had joined with a bunch of random people in a party and he did the "leave with party" thing during the kill so suddenly half the lobby vanished, though most of them were dead already. After that I said fuck this and blocked the guy for the second time, only this time knowing it'll stay that way because fuck associating in any way with people who exist on that miserable ego-driven level of consciousness. I'd seen this same person run over several random people for no reason in a lobby where I was playing on a different account and he didn't know it was me spectating.
That's where I got the idea that if the opportunity presented itself, it'd be funny to run him over when he joined at the last second the other day. Didn't make it a priority to do so or anything silly like that, I just thought to myself that maybe that obnoxious little cunt would get his comeuppance at last!
I happened to find the car keys and battery a few minutes into the game, I headed to the blue car as Chad and an AJ who was probably the little shit in question was putting in the gas but inexplicably ran away when I got near the car with the battery. Knowing how he plays this game, I guess that he thought that I'd fuck up trying to put the battery in as Chad and I'd be killed and then he'd come and get the car started.
I put the battery in and despite messing up once or twice, Jason never showed up, so I jumped in the car even though I had no weapon, pocket knives/firecrackers etc.
I wanted to pick up the guy who I basically considered a friend, and who I'd heard speak disparagingly before about the aforementioned annoying cunt who had also joined. I drove up near the repair shop and both my "friend" and the moron I had blocked were there, but they were too near each other for me to run over one without hitting the other and needless to say it wasn't worth taking that risk. Jason was right there the whole time constantly about a metre away from the car which I didn't stop for longer than maybe a second at a time as I had nothing to defend myself with if grabbed, not that I give a shit if I get killed in the game generally speaking, but that would fuck up my "run idiot over" plan.
The guy I'd blocked earlier last week after the 473rd instance of extreme fuckery that I was no longer willing to overlook, had a shotgun. He had it the whole time that Jason was right at the car, but never shot Jason with it, perhaps he was waiting for me to be grabbed and die. I drove around in that little space avoiding Jason for about 60 seconds while my "friend" and his long lost siamese twin (henceforth known as gunboy) tried to avoid getting killed. The one who didn't have the gun had a decent melee weapon. He tried to hit Jason but it didn't stun him, he got grabbed and died. The end of his precious video game life, woe is he. As this was happening, he says in a really angry tone of voice "Yeah that's right isn't it mate, you're a fuckhead. Not you _____" (blank line is gunboy's gamertag). Then he died and ragequit immediately after. The car glitched and I couldn't get out so I quit the lobby and went to the group message that my supposed friend was part of and explained that I had no weapon or pocket knives etc. and calling me a fuckhead and quitting the game seemed a bit over the top.
The guy replied saying sorry and that he's just frustrated about the glitching, I guess he meant that his weapon didn't stun Jason, I dunno - either way it's a shit excuse for lashing out at someone he knows nothing about beyond my gamertag and the fact I play the same video game as him. I accepted his apology which part of me regrets in hindsight because it really seems like he was just trying to maintain a good impression with the rest of the group.
I apologised for not stopping the car since doing so would have equalled certain death for my poor defenseless Chaddy, meanwhile that other irritating cunt is standing there with a shotgun but choosing not to use it. I guess he'd have to have known that the logical progression from the last game I played with him was that I was going to try and run him over, oh well.
The couple of times I've played with the guy who lashed out at me since then, I get the distinct feeling he still has some sort of grudge against me despite him saying that he was sorry right after. Part of me really wants to lay into him and verbally destroy his whole invalid point of view with facts such as that he's a far more selfish player in the game than I have ever been, he regularly escapes alone and at times gets salty when things don't go his way. Meanwhile, I barely give the slightest hint of a fuck if I survive as long as the game is fun and I can do something beneficial for the others in the process, i.e. the 100+ traps I've tanked while playing in the last 3-4 weeks alone, all the objectives I fix even if I die in the process or shortly after. I once got the boat ready and then waited at it for about 4 minutes until this guy made it there, then I escaped with him. I feel pathetic even mentioning any of this shit tbh, but it just pisses me off how the guy suddenly acts like I've wronged him, or anyone for that matter, in some way.
I do all the tanking traps/repairing shit mostly because it feels good to help out others, not for some selfish "Must escape the big bad scary video game monster to the detriment of all others" reasons. If there are already 4 people near the car I will always say fuck it and let them escape rather than make it awkward, I'd rather stay and fuck Jason up most of the time anyway. There's also the reality that none of this shit matters at all (I know that me mentioning all of this game related shit might suggest that I do give a fuck, but I do so to provide some perspective, that's all), if you're crying because your video game life has been unfairly ended then you should consider yourself lucky that you apparently don't have any real problems. I know it isn't that simple, but fuck all of these sad motherfuckers who incessantly complain about every little thing whether it's ping or (unintentional) glitches or whatever other excuse they can conjure up in their deluded little minds.
I was playing with the same guy later that day and it was pretty obvious when he was Jason that his apology was bullshit as he zoned in on me to a ridiculous degree and eventually caught me after a few minutes of relentless chasing while most of the others were still alive. Since then, I've just picked up on little things like no acknowledgment whatsoever when I do something like run the battery and gas to the car, tank the traps and die, then post in the group message to let them know that the parts just need to be put in by someone with better repair than a dead Chad. I seriously think maybe part of it is just that I've started playing as Chad a lot in the last few weeks when I used to play as AJ 95% of the time, perhaps he's projecting some of Chad's assholeishness onto me? I dunno.
Fuck this is a longwinded message and it probably seems ridiculous that I'm going into this much detail or even give a fuck that some more or less random person called me a fuckhead, but I guess it was because I had thought of him as a friend until recently, and he had never really shown signs of taking issue with me (though the day before, I'd barely eaten all day and by around 6pm got some awesome food that needed my undivided attention. I was afk for maybe 10 minutes in one game but I was sitting there the whole time and at one point he walked past me in game and goes "(my name), what are ya doin' man", sounding mildly annoyed, as though I was just standing around in my spawn spot for the fuck of it.
I'm extremely sensitive I guess, and things that others would brush off can really fuck with me in ways that they shouldn't. It's pretty dumb really when most of the other guys in the same group are constantly saying that I'm "the best" (the way this is phrased makes me sound David Brentian as fuck, I know) and a legend, champion etc. that I'd let it get to me that one person might have some sort of issue with me.
About two weeks from now it'll be a year on from when I cut contact with this girl who had borderline personality disorder. I was insanely in love with her and it was the most crushing thing I'd ever experienced in my life until I knew I had to cut her off or I would basically not have survived. There was a day last August where she was staying with me and I said something that I immediately regretted (nothing mean or anything, just stupid/poorly thought out), she looked at me with such anger and contempt in her eyes and said "You're a fuckhead", and it hurt a lot. I don't know how much this has to do with that guy saying basically the same thing in the game fucking with my head so much, part of me thinks it has a lot to do with it, and another part feels like I'd still be very hurt by it regardless of if the other thing had ever happened, so I don't know really. I did feel pretty shitty for the rest of the day in a way that reminded me of how I often felt when I still had contact with her.
This game came out at such a perfect time for me as it was coming up to about a year from when shit started getting real that time last year, and I knew it would be a struggle to be constantly reminded "Oh today is such and such date, a year on from blah", every week or so. I had been depressed a lot up until around late May this year (I have bipolar) then suddenly I felt fucking awesome almost all of the time. Yay. I have moderate to severe social anxiety and am crippled by neurosis when it comes to interacting with people on a day to day basis. I guess part of why I love this game (aside from being a fan of the franchise for as long as I can remember) is because of all the different people you come across who can be as entertaining as the game itself. Granted there are many annoying morons but I've come across lots of cool people as well. I'm an introvert to the degree that I don't ever really get "lonely" as such, but playing this game with other people and getting to know them on some level has been comforting to me in a way.
This post is way too long and probably weird af that I even bothered, but I felt the need to vent. Even if noone reads it, doesn't really matter I guess.
Basically if that guy keeps giving me that feeling then I'll probably just have to stop playing with him altogether and block him for good even if it means I don't play with any of the other people he does. The thing I'm more concerned about is that I'll "snap" and send some gigantic wall of text rant telling him he's a lowlife piece of shit who should fuck off and die etc. Not that I really believe that per se, but the small, petty, hateful part of me may lean that way when I feel like I've been treated unjustly.
Tl;dr: actual fuckhead angrily calls me a fuckhead in game, my feelings are immediately hospitalised with severe hurtyitis, he apologises and I accept and try to brush the whole thing off, only to find that this guy still harbours some sort of (imho) unwarranted grudge. My bipolar keeps telling me "off with his head! Make him regret ever being a stupid fuckhead scumbag motherfucker in the first place! Tell him how you really feel! MAKE HIM CUT HIS WRISTS IN A HOT BATH!!!!! >
", and the rest of me is like "Now now... he's probably not a
bad person as such, he just has poor impulse control or an anger management issue, perhaps he could do with a lesson in perspective so that he may one day learn that his first world problems ain't shit, either way... you should spare him"
(The mention of first world problems is admittedly a tad ironic given I just wrote a longwinded rant about an online gaming session gone horribly wrong)
Fuck that guy, basically.
