FUPA Advice Needed

[Rabbi_Vole]

The coffee maker mold thread got me thinking that my FUPA (fat upper pus_y area) affliction may be related to my dirty BUNN. I haven't cleaned it in well over a year and despite rigorous exercise, I have recently developed an awkward fleshy fanny pack right above my pubic region. I always feel bloated and I look like I've been squeezed into a sausage casing in my workout clothes.

I'm going to switch to getting my coffee out until I can find time to clean the machine, but what do I do with this thing? I guess in theory it'll resolve itself once the mold source is removed, but what if it doesn't? How do you target this one specific area? Are there ways to conceal it?

I looks awful when I tuck.. Not as bad as Christie, but still noticeable. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[commedieu]

nsfw!

 

[Escape Goat]

Bombasador
Amateur troll.

 

[eot]

Wtf.
Are you talking about your genitals or your coffee machine?

 

[Hexa]

I'm so confused right now. You're worried about mold in your coffee machine making your genitals fat?

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

I'm so confused right now. You're worried about mold in your coffee machine making your genitals fat?

My genitals are fine, folks. In the coffee mold thread, it was brought to my attention that a dirty coffee maker can lead to weird bloating. I have recently developed a FUPA almost out of nowhere and it may be related.

 

[Apt101]

Hire someone to motorboat your FUPA regularly, at least three times a week, 30 minute sessions. That should burn some off and tighten up the area.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Hire someone to motorboat your FUPA regularly, at least three times a week, 30 minute sessions. That should burn some off and tighten up the area.

Like a masseuse?

 

[Dark Stalkers]

let your stomach hang bro

 

[Puddington]

FUPAs generally come from too much sugar/carbs. Maybe put less sugar in your coffee while you're at it.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

FUPAs generally come from too much sugar/carbs. Maybe put less sugar in your coffee while you're at it.

My diet is in no way carb heavy. I only use sugar free flavored creamer in my coffee.

 

[John Kowalski]

Say goodbye to your 20s.

 

[Fat4all]

Just do the classic "Chub-and-Tuck".

Works every time.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Say goodbye to your 20s.

I'm in my mid 30s

 

[John Kowalski]

You're also mid fatty.

 

[Surface of Me]

4/10

 

[Fat4all]

You're also mid fatty.

 

[marrec]

Even if you get rid of the FUPA temporarily through rigorous diet and exercise it's still there, waiting to strike. Once you have it you'll always have it and everyone will know.

Seriously though keto it out.

Also, clean your FUPA man, a year is too long.

 

[neshcom]

Uh, mold doesn't do that? Maybe if you're allergic to mold, but then you'd be worse off than extremely targeted swelling.

 

[Messofanego]

I'm in my mid 30s

Work that dad bod.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Uh, mold doesn't do that? Maybe if you're allergic to mold, but then you'd be worse off than extremely targeted swelling.

According to the settled science in the coffee maker mold thread, mold can cause targeted bloating. What's a FUPA if not the bloating of the pubic fat pad?

 

[SapientWolf]

According to the settled science in the coffee maker mold thread, mold can cause targeted bloating. What's a FUPA if not the bloating of the pubic fat pad?

It causes bloating in your stomach. Why would it bloat your pubic region? A FUPA is caused by fat.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

It didn't really show up until after my bad car wreck back in May. I was out of commission for almost 2 months.. No running or lifting. I don't want to mistake correlation with causation, though.

 

[Moppet13]

It didn't really show up until after my bad car wreck back in May. I was out of commission for almost 2 months.. No running or lifting. I don't want to mistake correlation with causation, though.

So you decided the coffee maker is the more likely culprit?

 

[CrocMother]

Link to this coffee mold thread?

 

[Fat4all]

Link to this coffee mold thread?

Ask and ye shall receive.

 

[Seraph_Nicholas]

It didn't really show up until after my bad car wreck back in May. I was out of commission for almost 2 months.. No running or lifting. I don't want to mistake correlation with causation, though.

Sounds like your abdominal wall softened and now you're mistaking intestines for 'local bloating'.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

I also have osteitis pubis from my running, but it shouldn't cause swelling.

 

[neshcom]

It didn't really show up until after my bad car wreck back in May. I was out of commission for almost 2 months.. No running or lifting. I don't want to mistake correlation with causation, though.

That's a clear cause-and-effect. You couldn't exercise for two months and now you have a bodily feature associated with excess fat build up. Unless you are an otherwise trim-figured person today, it's probably from weight gain, not from mold.

 

[Retromelon]

Flaunt it if you got it

 

[Fat4all]

Flaunt it if you got it

 

[MikeDip]

I don't understand what this is? Like I see posters posted pictures of some people as examples, but they look like normal people? What the hell are we talking about in here?

Haven't cleaned a body part in over a year? A BUNN? What is any of this? Wash your bodies. Unless a BUNN is part of a coffee machine. I'm so confused.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

I don't understand what this is? Like I see posters posted pictures of some people as examples, but they look like normal people? What the hell are we talking about in here?

Haven't cleaned a body part in over a year? A BUNN? What is any of this? Wash your bodies. Unless a BUNN is part of a coffee machine. I'm so confused.

BUNN is a world renowned best in class coffee maker manufacturer. I clean my body parts. Some a little too thoroughly.

 

[Zombine]

Weakest parody thread urges of all time.

Edit: Weaker than "drunk" threads.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Weakest parody thread urges of all time.

Edit: Weaker than "drunk" threads.

?

What exactly is being parodied? Do I need to post a before and after of my FUPA?

 

[Fat4all]

I don't understand what this is? Like I see posters posted pictures of some people as examples, but they look like normal people?

Ethan Klein is no normal person. He is a fupa connoisseur.

 

[Booshka]

Cock Pushups

One is all you need OP.

 

[Featheredkitten]

This thread is so confusing. Either way, correlation doesn't equal causation, but being off work and not working out in your mid thirties is definitely more likely to cause weight gain than some weird coffee mold thing.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

I don't understand what this is? Like I see posters posted pictures of some people as examples, but they look like normal people? What the hell are we talking about in here?

Haven't cleaned a body part in over a year? A BUNN? What is any of this? Wash your bodies. Unless a BUNN is part of a coffee machine. I'm so confused.

 

[GrizzNKev]

Stealth h3h3 thread

 

[Fat4all]

Stealth h3h3 thread

Stealth? It shoulda been out in the open from the start!

So much fupa, so little time. Gotta lube it all up.

 

[blame space]

I gotta see this fupa

 

[MikeDip]

Okay those pictures make sense now, I see it in that last cop one.

Honestly, before that I wasn't even sure where to look. I know you said above the pubic region but I wasn't 100% if you were using a euphemism for a mouth or neck of a face (sometimes called a sex hole or sex chasm). I was looking for a weird fat nose or chin on those pics because I honestly saw nothing wrong with them elsewhere.

Until I saw the cop one, now I understand.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

I gotta see this fupa

I'm looking for a fresh photo that shows it.

 

[Zombine]

Wait so the fupa is real?

 

[Apt101]

Wait so the fupa is real?

I worked with a guy who had a FUPA about half the size of my entire body. It is indeed real.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Wait so the fupa is real?

It's real and it's spectacular.

I wish I lived in a society that respected and appreciated a fat upper pubic region.

 

[Fancy Clown]

Try covering it up with a fashionable fanny pack. I hear camo patterns are always in style, or alternatively you could go with a slimming neon green.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Try covering it up with a fashionable fanny pack. I hear camo patterns are always in style, or alternatively you could go with a slimming neon green.

I wear performance underwear to contain it a bit, but my make-shift spanx can only do so much. I have a long torso so the gut hang just looks wrong in a David Cronenberg kinda way.

 

[Booshka]

Also, every 30 pounds or so that you are overweight can swallow up about a 1/3 of an inch of your penis. So lose the weight, and get your dick back.