Getting laid in Japan

Status
Not open for further replies.
#1
http://www.myxxxblog.com/pages/jokes/laidguide.html

First, the preliminaries:

1. Be White.

If you can't meet this requirement, then be black, that's really just as good. If that's also out of the question, then be whatever you happen to be, as long as your not Brazillian or from Southeast Asia. If you're one of those, pretend to be ethnic Canadian.

2. Don't Learn Japanese.

Trust me. The girls that you will meet by following this guide have learned basic conversational English for the same reason that web designers learn Java; it is a necessary part of accomplishing their goals. They will also enjoy the chance to use their English, and will be put off if you are able to answer them in Japanese, which, if you're reading this, is unlikely.

And now, here's the step by step guide. Don't forget to take notes.

3. Go to Roppongi.

Coming from central Tokyo, Roppongi is the second to last station on the Hibiya subway line (the gray line on subway maps). If you're starting on the circular Yamanote train line, you can transfer to the Hibiya line at Ueno or Ebisu.

4. Find GasPanic.
WTF? :lol :lol :lol
 
#5
True. Japanese treat SE Asians or South Americans as sub-humans. I had an American friend of Filipino ethnicity who went there; he was so excited. Needless to say, he was crushed by the time he had returned.
 
#6
Yamauchi said:
True. Japanese treat SE Asians or South Americans as sub-humans. I had an American friend of Filipino ethnicity who went there; he was so excited. Needless to say, he was crushed by the time he had returned.
It was kinda stupid of him to go there expecting to get laid.

If he just acts like every other otaku who goes to Japan, he'd have a great time, shopping and being all tourist-like anyway.
 
#8
Pellham said:
It was kinda stupid of him to go there expecting to get laid.

If he just acts like every other otaku who goes to Japan, he'd have a great time, shopping and being all tourist-like anyway.
He wasn't going there to get laid. :lol He was just going there as a tourist, but he just felt bad being treated differently. Yes, he is naive.
 

sprsk

force push the doodoo rock
#9
Gas panic is apparently full of sluts, i dont think you have to be anything other than male to get play there.
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
#16
It is easy to get laid, but if you're a hideous chump in the US/Europe etc, they can discern that. Especially if you're a fucking Otaku shut-in who doesn't know how to talk to girls anyway.

If you are even halfway sociable and normally shaped (Japanese chicks will not bang fatties) then it's a breeze. However, Gas Panic is a tourist trap. The more Japanese clubs near it are a better bet. Find girls, and go talk to them. You can have good luck in Shibuya and Shinjuku too.

Also, if you want to be enraged by solicitous Canadian/Euro/US/Russian jerks then talk to the fucking weirdo halfwit club whores trying to get you to pay obscene cover charges at lousy Roppongi nite spots.
 

Oichi

I'm like a Hadouken, down-right Fierce!
#18
gaspanic stinks. The best place to get tail is Wall Stret or 911 in Roppongi.

And all of those rules are 100% correct. I know intermediate Japanese, I'm Korean/Filipino, and I get exactly 0 play. :(

Oh, it doesn't help that I'm a fatty either. :(

ME AM CRY.
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
#19
SantaCruZer said:
How do they treat guys who is coming from scandinavia and is white, blond and got green eyes? Never been to Japan :(

You well get fucked. And by fucked, I mean, you will have to hump a pliant, cooperative, but unadventurous series of near identical girls.

And yes, our (Euro-whitey) man parts are significantly bigger. Which is part of the deal, I guess.

And they all make that whiney, pained sounding squeak you hear in teh movies. Cultural? Dunno. Anyway, my advice is some years dusty since I have been married for two years.
 
#20
Yamauchi said:
True. Japanese treat SE Asians or South Americans as sub-humans. I had an American friend of Filipino ethnicity who went there; he was so excited. Needless to say, he was crushed by the time he had returned.
Strange, since Sao Paulo has the largest amount of Japanese people outside of Japan
 
#21
Stinkles said:
You well get fucked. And by fucked, I mean, you will have to hump a pliant, cooperative, but unadventurous series of near identical girls.

And yes, our (Euro-whitey) man parts are significantly bigger. Which is part of the deal, I guess.

And they all make that whiney, pained sounding squeak you hear in teh movies. Cultural? Dunno. Anyway, my advice is some years dusty since I have been married for two years.
well I am planning to go to Japan this year anyway. When I lived in the US a couple of years ago i had an asian-american girlfriend, and she was appearently fascinated by my blonde eyebrows. I was like, um ok, whatever works for you! :p
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
#24
EGM92 said:
Now these girls we're talking about here... are they prostitutes? Or just normal Japanese sluts looking for a good time?

Regular, often trendy sluts. If money changes hands, you have failed.
 
#36
Stinkles said:
And they all make that whiney, pained sounding squeak you hear in teh movies. Cultural? Dunno. Anyway, my advice is some years dusty since I have been married for two years.
We need confirmation on this
 
#37
I stayed in a hotel once (was a really nice) and it had a lot of Japanese tourists and business people staying in it all the time. The rooms had kitchens and you could really smell their cooking in the halls. Apprently, according to the shuttle drivers and what not, there are also a whole lot of prostitues living there. Japanese prostitues and non-Japanese prostitutes. If only I had the money.

...but I'd probably just used it to order Japanese food instead.
 
#46
2. Don't Learn Japanese.

Trust me. The girls that you will meet by following this guide have learned basic conversational English for the same reason that web designers learn Java; it is a necessary part of accomplishing their goals. They will also enjoy the chance to use their English, and will be put off if you are able to answer them in Japanese, which, if you're reading this, is unlikely.
OK, going to stereotype a bit here but do the fucking opposite of the above. If you're at a club and a girl comes to talk to you in English, she's probably laid 100s of white guys before you and you'll be going home with some STDs.

[/overgeneralization]
 
#47
Stinkles said:
Regular, often trendy sluts. If money changes hands, you have failed.
ah, but you buy them drinks, you pay for the dinner, you pay for the hotel room. money changes hands, regardless. no matter what size your dick is, and dont try to tell me any different.
 
#48
so if you weigh 75 pounds, have a face full of acne and a 2 inch penis and are going to spend your college money on a plane ticket to japan, it's worth it?
If you have to ask, then you're not ready.

poon is always worth it
 
#49
I've actually had rappongi recommended before. A guy I work with went to Japan on holiday last year and said he was basically mithered all night by Japanese women just because he was English.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.