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Girl-Gaf - A thread for girls.

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Every. Fucking. Time.

GUYSy.jpg
 

Leeness

Member
I figured you'd bailed, Devo. The guy who started the thread said he believes that women dressing provocatively "has an effect" on being sexually assaulted. So... yep.

Billie, it definitely is. :( It's a circle of bad for me. Little self-worth > no one likes me > even less self-worth. And I know it shouldn't be defined by what others think of me, but... I'm kind of crazy like that. :(
 

Emitan

Member
*right click "save image as"*

@Leeness- I'm really bad at encouraging people so I guess I can't help :( If I could help you, I probably wouldn't be so shy with self esteem issues myself...
 

RawPower

Banned
:( It's a circle of bad for me. Little self-worth > no one likes me > even less self-worth. And I know it shouldn't be defined by what others think of me, but... I'm kind of crazy like that. :(

In other words, the same perpetual circle of self-loathing I'm desperately trying to climb out of.
 
Not to sound like a creep, but I saw your post in the pictures thread and you're cute, so maybe it's a self confidence thing. If you don't look confident people won't ask you out? I don't know...

I'll be a little creepy...

Leeness,
I also just looked at your pics. You've got a pretty face and nice boobs and I'm not sure why you don't get asked out, but it's not because of your looks. Socialize with some new people maybe.
 
What's wrong with JokerofSpades?

He's insanely ignorant about anything women-related and lives off stereotypes. He has difficulty understanding that not all women, and often not even the majority of women fit into his stereotype. He also has trouble seeing women as being people, and similar to men. Just have a read of that thread.


Look at Dating-Age.

What does a man have to do to get laid?

A woman really just has to show up where guys are.

Not that I'm saying a woman should be called any derogatory names for it... just that I can kind of understand why respect is given to a man who gets laid often. It takes work.

Women have the better orgasms, yet men are often more sex-crazy (that's what I meant by that). That's due to testosterone.

And no matter what you say, he never understands. He just uses anecdotal evidence to back up his stereotypes and reinforce that they are "facts" in his mind. Its completely impossible to reason with him.
 
He's insanely ignorant about anything women-related and lives off stereotypes. He has difficulty understanding that not all women, and often not even the majority of women fit into his stereotype. He also has trouble seeing women as being people, and similar to men. Just have a read of that thread.

You know, I was only trying to find out responses to those arguments. In real life I've often espoused view similar to Devo's here, despite their unpopularity. When people respond, I try to figure those things out. And I absolutely always think of women as people. Maybe it's because I'm bad at expressing my views, but I always try not to be offensive. But I get responses like this instead.

Furthermore, I always give a specific example of what I'm talking about. Maybe you guys assume I mean all women, but I'm not stupid.

And no matter what you say, he never understands. He just uses anecdotal evidence to back up his stereotypes and reinforce that they are "facts" in his mind. Its completely impossible to reason with him.

I'm actually one of the only people who has posted studies in there. The anecdotal evidence has come from the other side. And what I use those things to prove have been backed up. I'm really not trying to offend any of you.
 
You know, I was only trying to find out responses to those arguments. In real life I've often espoused view similar to Devo's here, despite their unpopularity. When people respond, I try to figure those things out. And I absolutely always think of women as people. Maybe it's because I'm bad at expressing my views, but I always try not to be offensive. But I get responses like this instead.

Furthermore, I always give a specific example of what I'm talking about. Maybe you guys assume I mean all women, but I'm not stupid.



I'm actually one of the only people who has posted studies in there. The anecdotal evidence has come from the other side. And what I use those things to prove have been backed up. I'm really not trying to offend any of you.

You use your college as a defensive mechanism for when your assumptions don't align up with anything else.
 
You know, I was only trying to find out responses to those arguments. In real life I've often espoused view similar to Devo's here, despite their unpopularity. When people respond, I try to figure those things out. And I absolutely always think of women as people. Maybe it's because I'm bad at expressing my views, but I always try not to be offensive. But I get responses like this instead.

Furthermore, I always give a specific example of what I'm talking about. Maybe you guys assume I mean all women, but I'm not stupid.

I'm not quite sure I understand. Are you pot stirring to see how people will respond, or are you really typing what you feel?

I'm sorry to come off as harsh. I am just tired of the responses (from everyone) in those kinds of threads. I can tell you aren't trying to be offensive, but you need to stop stereotyping women - and you do do it. You stop doing this and I think most of the angry responses you get will disappear.
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
That bingo chart made me laugh. Especially the "women like pink" one, as though that were the same throughout all cultures and time periods! In fact in the Victorian era they were recommending pink to young boys because it was a shade of red, a maaaanly color, and light blue for girls because it was viewed as softer (no wonder Alice wore blue rather than pink!)

Many things are not the same depending on the culture and the time! There are cultures where women are viewed as the sex crazed ones, that the men have to hold off.
 
You use your college as a defensive mechanism for when your assumptions don't align up with anything else.

To be fair, many others have noted that it does make sense. That's where I get my anecdotal evidence (and the quotes from people). I think even you might have acknowledged that at some point - that people are quite different at that age (which is why I still know girls who slut-shame).

I've never agreed with slut-shaming or victim blaming or any of those things.

I'm not quite sure I understand. Are you pot stirring to see how people will respond, or are you really typing what you feel?

I'm sorry to come off as harsh. I am just tired of the responses (from everyone) in those kinds of threads. I can tell you aren't trying to be offensive, but you need to stop stereotyping women - and you do do it. You stop doing this and I think most of the angry responses you get will disappear.

I'm not pot-stirring, but I am trying to learn something/figure out responses to the things that I've heard.

I generalize both genders, to be fair. But I still at least dictate that I'm talking about probability and specific parameters. And a good majority of what I've said has indeed come from female friends.

With the argument about genders finding certain things easier, I wasn't trying to put down women in any way. I was attempting to explain a position:

I think now's a good time to reiterate my position:

1) Men are given respect for promiscuity because it's more difficult to be that way
2) Women are likely slut-shamed out of jealousy
3) Everything else was an argument I had heard as to why women being promiscuous was bad, or otherwise slutty - I did figure out some responses to that, though:

- Again, guys would do the same things if they could, so jealousy
- Ooh, even better. I remember saying that if women fell for guys being assholes and ended up having sex with them, how that's on them. I'm certain people in my college would agree. So if a guy is going to have sex with a girl who uses her body in that way (to gain things) - well that's on you.

My purpose is to learn... and points 1 and 2 were things that I argued recently on a paper, that I got a perfect score on. A sociology paper. My teacher is quite feminist. Didn't figure how I was trying to explain it here would be damaging, but.

I just want to clarify again:

- Never have been for slut-shaming
- Never have been for victim blaming
- Only thing I've said that was really my opinion and argued about was that women find it easier to attain sex - which I did bring up statistics for

Again, maybe it's how I word things. But I'm really not trying to anger anyone - I enjoy reasoned debate and will admit when someone else is right (usually by a duly noted).
 

Kabouter

Member
Joker, if you can't stop putting your foot in your mouth, it might be best to stay away from certain threads. Like this one.
 
Joker, if you can't stop putting your foot in your mouth, it might be best to stay away from certain threads. Like this one.

God dammit.

I will regret this, but what did I do now?

EDIT: I'll try to keep this as short as possible so I don't further ruin this thread...
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
Even though the topic is one relative to discussion here, I think it would be best if we don't talk about specific posters that are irritating us to avoid getting into arguments here. (We have other places we can talk about it if we really must, like in the RP IRC. If you don't know where that is, one of us can post that info in here.)


Anyway, bras! Talked to Devo about this, but found this site the other day: http://bratabase.com/

You put in your measurements and it gives a list of bras that might fit you. Don't be surprised by the size it gives you! According to this and many other sites I've been reading, I'm supposed to be wearing a 30FF/G. Apparently this is a relative cup to what I've been wearing, just with a tighter band for more support. I'm going to try this to see if it works, because I get massive backaches from walking around too much, or even from just sitting up for too long.
 
I figured you'd bailed, Devo. The guy who started the thread said he believes that women dressing provocatively "has an effect" on being sexually assaulted. So... yep.

Billie, it definitely is. :( It's a circle of bad for me. Little self-worth > no one likes me > even less self-worth. And I know it shouldn't be defined by what others think of me, but... I'm kind of crazy like that. :(

Aw, come on. How many comments do you need to realize people like you? You just have to get a bit more used to big social events and that's all. Why don't tell us a little more? I used to be the same and it's all a matter of changing your mind.

And I like JokerofSpades' topics. Not to put any deep thought in them but they're sorta interesting and brings to light some stuff about people I otherwise wouldn't imagine.
 
Anyway, bras! Talked to Devo about this, but found this site the other day: http://bratabase.com/

You put in your measurements and it gives a list of bras that might fit you. Don't be surprised by the size it gives you! According to this and many other sites I've been reading, I'm supposed to be wearing a 30FF/G. Apparently this is a relative cup to what I've been wearing, just with a tighter band for more support. I'm going to try this to see if it works, because I get massive backaches from walking around too much, or even from just sitting up for too long.

I've signed up, but I don't have measuring tape on me so I can't make use of it juuust yet. Thanks Lissar ^^

And I like JokerofSpades' topics. Not to put any deep thought in them but they're sorta interesting and brings to light some stuff about people I otherwise wouldn't imagine.

Yeah, that's true.
 

Leeness

Member
Aw, come on. How many comments do you need to realize people like you? You just have to get a bit more used to big social events and that's all. Why don't tell us a little more? I used to be the same and it's all a matter of changing your mind.

I think I may have some actual issues I need to sort out. I've had low self-esteem all my life, and I don't know if it's because I just haven't changed it yet, or if I'm actually crazy. :/ I'm not depressed, I don't think, because I'm a pretty cheery, outgoing person in general. I'm just hiding a really bad self concept beneath it.

I dunno, I dunno.

Lissar, I don't know if it's because I don't know how to use that site yet, but it didn't have my size when I searched! Nooooooooo.
 
I think I may have some actual issues I need to sort out. I've had low self-esteem all my life, and I don't know if it's because I just haven't changed it yet, or if I'm actually crazy. :/ I'm not depressed, I don't think, because I'm a pretty cheery, outgoing person in general. I'm just hiding a really bad self concept beneath it.

I dunno, I dunno.

Stick with your friends. I know this from experience. It took several years to get out of my self-confidence funk, but boy do they work wonders, even if you don't share everything with them.
 

Lissar

Reluctant Member
Lissar, I don't know if it's because I don't know how to use that site yet, but it didn't have my size when I searched! Nooooooooo.

It seems they have all the sizes around your size, but not your size. :x Maybe if you put in your measurements and search? The site works by people putting the exact measurement of a bra into the info and then people reviewing it. If someone with similar measurements to you says the bra doesn't fit them, the site will tell you that. A lot of bras I clicked on that I thought were in my size range would either say the cup is too small/large for me or the band was too tight or loose. So if you put in your measurements it will recommend you some bras to try, even if it isn't in the exact size you thought it would be.
 

Mumei

Member
Hi, girl-gaf~

I thought about saying hello earlier, but I didn't want to do it during the initial phases of the topic and then I sort of forgot all about it! I've read / skimmed parts of the thread and it's been very amusing (and occasionally educational / disturbing (that picture of the foot in the heel whyyyy).

And hello in particular to some of my favorite posters: Devo, Satch, icarus-daedelus, and omg.kittens (I got around to reading a bell hooks book, by the way. Granted it was a basically "Feminism for dummies" but still).

How are all of you? Read anything good recently?
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Soooooo... my little sister

I've always been the one to let her live her own life and figure out things on her own. Her mom thinks that 99% of everything past the mailbox will turn her into a doped up teen mom and my dad prays to the Egyptian gods each day hoping she'll be a lesbian. That leaves me to actually help her figure shit out. So far I've been really lucky as she's been able to see bad situations and bad friends early... now I finally want to step in. To choke her boyfriend out.

That'd be wrong (and fun) but Id rather she figure this one out too. Its not your typical serial cheater athlete either. Its a scrawny nerd type that can't stop lying - she's always sticking up for him and playing the white knight. I'd love to go over the top and all, but she'd hate me for it (for a while). I just want to see her with someone on her level in some shape or form. Not some leech that requires protection.

Have any of you been in the situation where you're always sticking up for your boyfriend?
 
I was excusing some of the stuff my Ex did while we were together and I wasn't too proud of it after the fact. If I were you I'd talk to her on the level and ask her why she's excusing such behavior. Is she pulling that "but he's not always like that" or "but the good outweighs the bad" crap?
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
I was excusing some of the stuff my Ex did while we were together and I wasn't too proud of it after the fact. If I were you I'd talk to her on the level and ask her why she's excusing such behavior. Is she pulling that "but he's not always like that" or "but the good outweighs the bad" crap?
"You don't know him like I do"

I really can't stand users like him. I'd almost feel better if drugs were his reason.
 
"You don't know him like I do"

I really can't stand users like him. I'd almost feel better if drugs were his reason.

I'd level with her and say you do and he's manipulated her to the point at which she can't even talk about his behavior without making excuses. If you have to make excuses, then there is a problem.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
I'd level with her and say you do and he's manipulated her to the point at which she can't even talk about his behavior without making excuses. If you have to make excuses, then there is a problem.
That makes sense. But I'm talking to a 15 year old. And she swings the sword of the white knight like Joan of Arc.

I want to let her figure things out but its just such an odd situation.
 
That makes sense. But I'm talking to a 15 year old. And she swings the sword of the white knight like Joan of Arc.

I want to let her figure things out but its just such an odd situation.

You can only protect people from themselves up to a certain point. If it gets within the realm of you think he's abusing her more than mentally, I'd say scare him away.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
You can only protect people from themselves up to a certain point. If it gets within the realm of you think he's abusing her more than mentally, I'd say scare him away.
I guess what I'm asking is how does a relationship where the girl is the overprotective, do it all type work.

I know how bad it can get from the guy's version, but its not everyday you see a girl dealing with her boyfriend's fights.
 
I guess what I'm asking is how does a relationship where the girl is the overprotective, do it all type work.

I know how bad it can get from the guy's version, but its not everyday you see a girl dealing with her boyfriend's fights.

Whoa wait. She like defends him physically too? Or am I reading you wrong? Girls date scores of assholes in highschool though. It comes with the territory. Just about everyone is an insecure idiot.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Whoa wait. She like defends him physically too? Or am I reading you wrong? Girls date scores of assholes in highschool though. It comes with the territory. Just about everyone is an insecure idiot.
yeah

She'd never fight over a guy in the typical sense. But this dude likes to lie about things that inspire other guys to kick his ass - and she has dragged his ass back one too many times.
 

Al-ibn Kermit

Junior Member
I think I may have some actual issues I need to sort out. I've had low self-esteem all my life, and I don't know if it's because I just haven't changed it yet, or if I'm actually crazy. :/ I'm not depressed, I don't think, because I'm a pretty cheery, outgoing person in general. I'm just hiding a really bad self concept beneath it.

I dunno, I dunno.

Well you're too pretty. I'm going to go with the prediction that the type of guys who are normally attracted to your personality are just really shy or don't know how to approach you (read: you may have a unique personality that a lot of guys are not used to) . You may need to be more aggressive, like in an overt way. Not just making eyes and throwing your hair back which is what most girls do when they see a random guy they like. Because that would be too scary for most guys that are initially confused by your personality.

Maybe online dating will make this easier for you to try this out? I've been thinking about doing that for this reason as my flirting attempts are second to none on failure rate. Granted, I have the male perspective on this so maybe my advice is totally wrong and makes it worse but I'm just trying to be helpful.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
I like letting her figure things out for herself. But yeah... its just such a weird relationship. I don't know if it'd be something that would repeat itself. If it is, I'd rather she get it out of her system now while everything is small time and manageable.

I'll probably end up showing up in this kid's driveway anyways.
So he just lies about everything? I'm not asking you to get into specifics, but what kind of things is he saying?
ran his mouth about some girl that was never his ex - the girl's boyfriend has a legit reason to kick his ass. My sister knows this.

He acts as tutor after school. He likes to talk shit about the people he helps. They have a legit reason to kick his ass. My sister knows this too.

He likes to pretend he's a drug dealer... so on

She feels sorry for him. Its just weird. I didn't think you could make a relationship founded on pity.
 
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