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Got caught masturbating the other day

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a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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So my girlfriend has been on her lady time, and she's not working atm and our place is pretty small, so I haven't been able to knock one out in a few days. So finally, the other day, she went to get her car looked at and I figured I finally had a chance to spend some quality time with myself.

I'm just getting into it, pants are off, tabs are queued up in chrome and the tissues are handy.

Then BOOM, front door opens and she walks in. Apparently the Toyota dealership has a handy shuttle service to take you back home while your car is worked on, so she wasn't gone for as long as I had planned.

Anyway, she thought it was hilarious, and I was too flustered to finish, so we had a good chuckle and carried on with our day.

I know this isn't the dramatic or hilarious end to the story you were all waiting for, but this is the first and only time in my entire life I've been caught jacking off, so I wanted to share my tale with you guys. Not exactly EightBitNate levels of awkward, but when she walked in the door I nearly had a heart attack.
 

Rich!

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Dec 16, 2009
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You got caught by your girlfriend

That's not an issue

That's an opportunity
 

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a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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You got caught by your girlfriend

That's not an issue

That's an opportunity
I'm not down for sailing the red sea, so no opportunity there.

It happens. She does it too.
I know that, I'm not a dummy. I've just never been walked in on before so it was quite shocking at the time. A lifetime of doing it secretly has hardwired the "don't get caught" instinct into me.

Uh-oh, I sense a thread backfire incoming. Should I start apologizing now?
 

Two Words

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May 8, 2014
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This is like saying you showed your dick to a stranger and it was just a doctor giving you a physical.
 

Ovek

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May 30, 2013
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She could have at the very least finished you of with a hand job.... Poor form on GF part.
 

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a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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Dude, this is when she is at her horniest. Bloody up that sword of yours like you were William Wallace in Braveheart.
I had a bad experience as a younger man that has made me pretty gun shy regarding this.

She could have at the very least finished you of with a hand job.... Poor form on GF part.
She doesn't think it's fair to get me off when she can't (or I'm unwilling to because I don't like the blood) which I can't argue with.
 

Hazmat

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Sep 5, 2005
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Getting caught by someone you regularly have sex with isn't getting caught. Getting caught by your dad or a police officer is getting caught.

Also, get over your hangup, sex while the girl is on her period is A-OK, if a little messy. At the very least, it's no excuse.
 

Rapstah

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Jul 20, 2009
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I've been caught masturbating,
once, when I was 5...
I enjoy masturbating.
It's just as simple as that.
 

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a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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Getting caught by someone you regularly have sex with isn't getting caught. Getting caught by your dad or a police officer is getting caught.

Also, get over your hangup, sex while the girl is on her period is A-OK, if a little messy. At the very least, it's no excuse.
I'm not saying it's wrong or that no one should do it or anything like that, it's just not for me.

OP labeled as mysoginist for not wanting to 'sail the red sea' in 3...2...1...
Eh, whatever, people can say whatever they want. She says if I'm making her wait then I'll have to as well, which is totally fair.
 

Skittles

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Mar 2, 2010
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Should of turned around and asked her to finish the fight.

If she's okay with you masturbating, why not just do it in another room while she's in the house?
 

Switch Back 9

a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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Should of turned around and asked her to finish the fight.

If she's okay with you masturbating, why not just do it in another room while she's in the house?
She's suggested as much, but it's hard for me to get in the zone when I can hear her walking around or watching Pixar movies in the living room.
 

Grep

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It could be a problem if you observe things from a different angle.

Girl could be asking herself, like why is he (you) masturbating right now , is something wrong with our (sexual) life, am I good enough for him.. feel free to continue.

Honestly, I never heard for anyone getting caught by GF, so I am just speculating about the possible scenario.
 

Switch Back 9

a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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It could be a problem if you observe things from the different angle.

Girl could be asking herself, like why is he (you) masturbating right now , is something wrong with our (sexual) life, am I good enough for him.. feel free to continue.

Honestly, I never heard for anyone getting caught by GF, so I am just speculating about the possible scenario.
Nah, it ain't like that, she does her thing when I'm not around and vice versa.

I mean are we talking day one uncorked flood gates here or what?
We're talking "I once went down on a girl only to realize what was up when my mouth tasted like pennies" and I've been put off by the whole thing ever since. On the surface I KNOW it's not a big deal but it instantly kills my boner if I see blood.

You masturbated within view of the front door?
Our living room is where the front door is, I can literally touch the doorknob from where I'm sitting on the couch. As I said, we don't have a huge place.
 

Maximus.

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Apr 24, 2009
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Why didn't you start your jack off session like 10-15 minutes after she left? You done goofed man.
 

Hazmat

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Sep 5, 2005
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I'm not saying it's wrong or that no one should do it or anything like that, it's just not for me.



Eh, whatever, people can say whatever they want. She says if I'm making her wait then I'll have to as well, which is totally fair.
You write off 10-15% of the time as being too gross to have sex. Your loss, bro.
 

jerd

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Jun 4, 2012
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Nah, it ain't like that, she does her thing when I'm not around and vice versa.



We're talking "I once went down on a girl only to realize what was up when my mouth tasted like pennies" and I've been put off by the whole thing ever since. On the surface I KNOW it's not a big deal but it instantly kills my boner if I see blood.
Yeah that's a bummer.
 

Switch Back 9

a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
Aug 13, 2012
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Why didn't you start your jack off session like 10-15 minutes after she left? You done goofed man.
I did! I was planning on her being gone for at least an hour or so, I didn't think she'd basically be right back.

You write off 10-15% of the time as being too gross to have sex. Your loss, bro.
I'm aware of this, but I can't help what my brain finds arousing and what it doesn't.

Were you buffering along with the videos?
It had been a few days man, I like to make an afternoon out of it and enjoy myself. This isn't a quick "need to get some work done but I'm too horny to concentrate, better knock one out" kind of wank.
 
Jul 7, 2007
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Getting caught by someone you regularly have sex with isn't getting caught. Getting caught by your dad or a police officer is getting caught.

Also, get over your hangup, sex while the girl is on her period is A-OK, if a little messy. At the very least, it's no excuse.
Period blood on my penis makes it feel numb and hard to stay erect for me. The noise of pounding a wet vag full of blood and sometimes smell of it can take one out of the mood as well. My girl has very irregular periods and I have gotten blood on my dick a number of times (almost every month.)

It is not a fun cleanup. The first time this happens to you it is quite a shock, it does become less of a deal after a few times of it happening. Nothing like having your entire balls ass legs dick completely drenched in period blood, sometimes with coagulated dark chunks.
 
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