Have you ever been labeled unattractive only to end up a stud later?

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Cosmic Bus

pristine morning snow
Height is supposed to help in life? I guess I'm living in a different universe.
It's not exactly a big secret that the bulk of society treats taller people with more respect. This isn't as applicable for women, but short guys are - and pardon the literal pun - really looked down on.

I was a short, chubby, awkward kid. As an almost-middle-age adult, I'm still very short, still in poor shape despite years of trying to lose my gut, but at least I'm not as awkward these days. Now I just have a host of other seemingly insurmountable issues... Would be nice to go back, say, 15 years and "reset" myself for a second try.
 
It's not exactly a big secret that the bulk of society treats taller people with more respect. This isn't as applicable for women, but short guys are - and pardon the literal pun - really looked down on.

I was a short, chubby, awkward kid. As an almost-middle-age adult, I'm still very short, still in poor shape despite years of trying to lose my gut, but at least I'm not as awkward these days. Now I just have a host of other seemingly insurmountable issues... Would be nice to go back, say, 15 years and "reset" myself for a second try.
You and me both.
 
I think I look good. I want to gain about 5-10 pounds of lean muscle, working on it. 6'3 and 170 pounds. I've started dressing much better, feels awesome.

Not a stud, but solid.
 
Pretty sure I was labelled unattractive.

I don't think a bunch has changed, except for some weight loss*, a vague clue about haircuts, and dressing better.

*I had a nervous breakdown a few years back. Stopped eating. Stopped everything, really. That was fucked up. I dropped to hospitalisation weight.
 
If you label yourself a stud then you probably turned into a jerk. Just saying.

Yes, my body changed. I worked hard for it. But I didn't change. The world around me changed.
 
Well, I guess this sort of applys to me.

All throughout my life, into my first year of college I was very skinny. 145 lbs. at 6.3'. Complete with hunched shoulders and accompanying low self-esteem. On top of that I was pretty socially awkward, had no real friends in high school and liked video games a lot. A lot of people here can probably relate.

Then I started working out, got dreadlocks and made a lot of friends. Still not quite stud territory though...It helps being around alternative people, who you can just imitate with your clothes. My complete lack of style turned into an alternative skater style. Not too great, but at least it had some semblance of style.

After four years I cut of my dreads, came out of my skater phase and some people actually said I looked handsome. Now I grow out a beard and keep it in check, work out some more and buy clothes that actually fit properly. I'm not a stud by any means, but I look decent. My 145 went up to 175 lbs.

Decent enough for random girls to flirt with me. Only problem is: appearances are easy enough to change (through hard work), but underlying self images are a lot harder. Still not entirely caught up with each other.
 
This. Clothes and a good sense of what to do and what NOT to do with any hair from the neck up is crucial. Slim coats can make just about any under shirt work out well and vests with long sleeve dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up the forearms will spruce up many a man. Also slacks, or khaki's generally enhance anything else you are wearing. A nice cheap belt thats black helps too. No big buckles...its gaudy. Blue jeans can be okay, but wear jeans that fit you. Nothing super baggy or hanging off of your ass. No one thinks its cool, but the oblivious guy holding up his pants as he walks. Also be aware of bending over. If you know it'll generate crack just squat and don't tip. If women got to be aware of crossing their legs in a skirt then men should by God be aware NOT TO FUCKING SHOW THEIR ASSCRACK. :C

Also unless facial hair can help accentuate or enhance features its pointless and any hair under the chin or jaw by itself is sad by itself and should only be used with a full beard. Goatee's work to help make round faces look longer to thin the face, and mustache's are good for men with large lips or longer faces to mask that if its something unattractive in your complexion. Beards help to make baby faces appear more regal, and less dopey and are great for masking freckles, acne scars, or other features. Just remember guys to brush it. You can tell the difference IMMEDIATELY in your swag levels between letting it rock freely and two swipes with a brush to give it some form. Also beware of dandruff...it happens and YES they will notice and be turned off. And I am talking about in your beard guys not just on your head.

Hair depends on the person. The biggest thing is know how thin or thick your hair is and look for people with similar facial structure to model your hair styles after as their results will most closely mirror your own.

To start out cheap I highly recommend bonanza.com for cheap sources of swag gear. Start out with a coat or dressy looking hoodie to help out with whatever you have laying around, and get yourself some good slacks. A lot of stuff can come out of Asia for good men's wear but remember their sizes are small so you have to order 2 sizes bigger than normal when using them. Generally, thought hey will give measurements. Measure your chest for the easiest way to know what fits as its the biggest concern in buying mens wear since it will be the difference between a nice fit and a sausage roll around the armpit and back when viewed from behind.

*is keeping it swag*
 
You sound like one of them ugly people.
I used to be. Now I'm sure I'm normal enough to not to be called that. But as I said, I didn't change. Gaining confidence doesn't mean I have to apply a superiority/inferiority aspect into my life.

It's like you are implying that change is bad?
I just don't like people who think they're superior in some way. Everyone has their good points. Everyone can improve. There can be good changes and there can be bad changes.

Because I've been ugly before, I know how unfair the world is when people see 'better' humans and with that, also 'lesser' humans. I like to treat everyone equal (at least based on appearance).
 
I used to be. Now I'm sure I'm normal enough to not to be called that. But as I said, I didn't change. Gaining confidence doesn't mean I have to apply a superiority/inferiority aspect into my life.

I just don't like people who think they're superior in some way. Everyone has their good points. Everyone can improve. There can be good changes and there can be bad changes.
Normal enough? So ugly people aren't normal? Are you saying you're better than me? Wow you're a jerk
 
I just don't like people who think they're superior in some way. Everyone has their good points. Everyone can improve. There can be good changes and there can be bad changes.
Well sure. I just see a lot of the "apaptation and changing are for the weak" mentality in people. It's just fear and lack of confidence and it pisses me off when it gets spread around like herpes.
 
Chalking one up for camp chubs.



Had a few bucks growing up, so that sorta helped out. But definitely felt like my bar in life had to be lower due to weight. Girls can be mean as stick sometimes. One day I was trying to shop at armani exchange, and they all but damn near laughed, I think I was looking for a pants size 46? or something... and a few years after that i think I started getting it together. More so than the weight loss, I think growing into confidence helps a ton..

I was a big angry guy. That doesn't really promote a lot of good relations imo.
 
Normal enough? So ugly people aren't normal? Are you saying you're better than me? Wow you're a jerk
I know you're trying to be funny, but I'm not enjoying this. When I used to be fat and small (200+ pounds @ 5") and hear conversations discussing ugly people, it would imply me. Now when I hear it, it wouldn't apply to me, but I would still get aggravated by such a conversation, because it makes some people miserable for narcissistic reasons.

Well sure. I just see a lot of the "apaptation and changing are for the weak" mentality in people. It's just fear and lack of confidence and it pisses me off when it gets spread around like herpes.
Oh yeah, I'm not saying that. If you're overweight, try your best to lose that weight in a healthy manner. But I'm not the one who's going to say that that person is ugly in any way. But if they decide they want to lose weight, I will encourage them.

Some things can't even be changed. Some people aren't born with celebrity-like faces. Some people have unusual eyes. Some people are very skinny by nature. Who am I to say they have sharp knees. I have no right to judge them or rank myself higher or lower than others based on appearance. Me looking better than before shouldn't change this mentality and I never will.
 
yeah, I grew up around white people for most of my childhood and white girls used to shudder at me and deliberately avoid me in all those stupid games kids in elementary school played. It was actually kind of hurtful.
Then came high school and women better looking than me started hitting on me. I never got used to it. It must've MTV and rap videos or something. I didnt change looks wise, I was a decent looking kid back then, as I am now, so it had nothing to do with me looking better or worse.
 
I always thought I was chunky for my height, 6ft 152lbs. I'm probably gonna bulk up some muscle too.


Never heard anything about being attractive, but my style gets complimented. Cool I guess.
 
I'm telling you guys, clothes make the man. If you're dressed nicely and well bathed the only thing you need to be attractive after that is a palpable aura of confidence.

Nothing makes a difference in sexy like being someone who is confident. Confidence is not however the same as egotism. Come off acting full of youself or talk a lot about yourself and your dead where you stand. Also don't be crude. Talk like you have enough respect for someone not to either say something gross or opinionated to the point of sounding like a ragin asshole over various things. Listen, smile, and sound confident and unafraid of what others may think when you talk. Speak in a manner that is reassuring and playful and if conversation moves to things you don't go for joke about how its not your thing and respect that others can like something you dont. Do this and you are the man.

Pay attention to the person you meet and not to your inner thoughts. You panic and "whats his problem" is all anyone thinks of and no one wants to find out. You sound confident and "this guy is fun" is what they will think. If you dressed the part by this point you've reached sexy level.

Think about it...90% of those rich popular dudes in school growing up had the girl. Most weren't even that attactive. It was because they were confident and dressed nice. The ones that lacked confidence or who were crude jerks lost the girl everytime. The ones who didn't kept them.

Its as simple as that. Don't overcomplicate things for yourself.
 
All of you who consider themselves unattractive should hit the gym and pick up all the weights and put them down again. It owns, and with every pound of muscle you gain your confidence will go up. And after a while you get girls complimenting your legs or arms and you will be like ''hell yeah baby'' and go and have awesome sex with them. True story.
 
I know you're trying to be funny, but I'm not enjoying this. When I used to be fat and small (200+ pounds @ 5") and hear conversations discussing ugly people, it would imply me. Now when I hear it, it wouldn't apply to me, but I would still get aggravated by such a conversation, because it makes some people miserable for narcissistic reasons.
Probably not the thread for you, no? Let people celebrate their improvements and call themselves studs if they want to. Unless there are people in here saying they are now superior to ugly people now, I don't think your high horse is warranted. My opinion.
 
All of you who consider themselves unattractive should hit the gym and pick up all the weights and put them down again. It owns, and with every pound of muscle you gain your confidence will go up. And after a while you get girls complimenting your legs or arms and you will be like ''hell yeah baby'' and go and have awesome sex with them. True story.
You should write a book on this method in this exact same manner.
 
I'm telling you guys, clothes make the man. If you're dressed nicely and well bathed the only thing you need to be attractive after that is a palpable aura of confidence.

Nothing makes a difference in sexy like being someone who is confident. Confidence is not however the same as egotism. Come off acting full of youself or talk a lot about yourself and your dead where you stand. Also don't be crude. Talk like you have enough respect for someone not to either say something gross or opinionated to the point of sounding like a ragin asshole over various things. Listen, smile, and sound confident and unafraid of what others may think when you talk. Speak in a manner that is reassuring and playful and if conversation moves to things you don't go for joke about how its not your thing and respect that others can like something you dont. Do this and you are the man.

Pay attention to the person you meet and not to your inner thoughts. You panic and "whats his problem" is all anyone thinks of and no one wants to find out. You sound confident and "this guy is fun" is what they will think. If you dressed the part by this point you've reached sexy level.

Think about it...90% of those rich popular dudes in school growing up had the girl. Most weren't even that attactive. It was because they were confident and dressed nice. The ones that lacked confidence or who were crude jerks lost the girl everytime. The ones who didn't kept them.

Its as simple as that. Don't overcomplicate things for yourself.
I've begun to realise this. I completely rehauled my wardrobe this year. Clean shaven etc... Only thing that remains is a slighty crazy mop of hair, but I've been told I look better with it.

I've also stopped turning down invitations
 
My story, basically I've been fat since probably 2nd grade. When I graduated High School, I was 215(I'm 5'7 and male BTW). Believe it or not I didn't check the scale for a entire year. Almost exactly one year after I graduated I finally did hop on the scale. I thought I was still the same weight, I looked the same to me anyways. But I wasn't, I was heavier. Not much heavier but heavier nonetheless, I weighed in at 230. Finally told myself enough was enough and began a long journey that year. Dieted and worked out hard and lost 70 pounds(160) in the next 5 months.

I've been around that weight ever since for the past 9 years. But honestly, I've never had that dream body I've always wanted. You know, lean, toned, six pack abs, good size bi's, tri's, pecks, and so on. So I'm trying again to see if I can accomplish that. But the way I am right now, I think I look fine. Looks are personal preference so I don't want to make myself out to be better looking then what people may think or worse either.
 
I've always been an "Average Joe" type of guy; not necesarily unattractive, but pretty far from the "pretty people". I'm also a little on the large side (which doesn't help, given that I'm 6'5") and unfortunately I can't go to the gym and work out as much as I want to, mainly due to a medical problem I've had since I was born (too much exercise and I get shooting pains through my chest due to warped muscle :( ).

Still, I soldier on and try to keep my weight down by doing stuff that doesn't hurt me like cycling and swimming, and I'm slowly but surely building up some self-confidence. That and I have a great sense of humour, an outgoing personality and a reasonable ego means I'm pretty socially active and like to meet new people and not worry about how I look so much.
 
No, I went the other way. I didn't consider myself a stud, but I did get compliments from women around that time, and I feel definitely looked better then I do now. I went from 215 to 280 between those pictures.

However, as of this summer I'm finally escaping the (emotionally) abusive situation I've been in for the past year and a half (which more than likely contributed to my downward slide), thanks to a new job that pays enough for me to be able to actually leave instead of being stuck paycheck to paycheck. My goal is to be at least back to 220 by the time PAX rolls around again this year. I think once I get out of this situation in the next month / month-and-a-half I can begin my reboot.


I did have the slight advantage though of going from the picked on short kid in elementary/middle school to a 6'3" giant that everyone else left alone in later years. I walked by one of the bullies from middle school once in high school, and he had stopped growing at < 5'. He just put his head down and walked away from me real fast :p

I do remember a couple kids from school that I thought were going to die at 25 from heart attacks and now look like they could model for a magazine if they wanted to.
 
In my youth I was scrawny awkward and had no sense of style. I was about 6 ft 160 ish with a bald head. All I ever did was play basketball and my dress reflected that. I had some attention but not much.

Through adult hood I've changed looks about a million times grew to 6'3 and put on some weight. I think if I went a little more pretty boy(decent haircut/dress and clean shaven) I would get more attention. I am stubborn though and get bored with that kinda style and don't really care for the sort of women it attracts.

Last few years I kinda managed to find my own style that both works for me and still manages to be somewhat fashionable. All said and done I don't think I've ever looked better. But other opinions may differ.
 
I've been slowly moving myself to "stud" status over the year.

Left pics - June, 2011, 210 pounds.
Right pics - April 2012, 202 pounds.

Oh boy. You know, im all for being yourself and dressing the way you like. But the problem with your choices is that they're probally the most horrible ones ever.


Im pretty sure you would look a thousand times better with a good shave and different clothes. And if you ever want to get laid again, dont post those pictures on Facebook, trust me.

Swords and sunglasses really?
 
I never thought I was that attractive growing up. I'm olive skinned, and I guess I got it into my head that, that made me somehow less attractive in comparison to white(er) kids.

I remember this girl in middle school (10-13 years) that I thought was the most beautiful girl in the school. The one day she was on the playground with her friend and she kept going up to me and pinching my bum (lol). I really didn't know what to make of it at all. Not a lot of girls in middle school ever admitted to fancying me, which made it all the more strange. I just thought she was weird. I remember a friend of mine liked her and wanted me to ask her out for him. He didn't have the courage to do it so he wanted me to do it instead. I said I will do it if you go over and ask her out for me also. So I asked her out for him, and that was that. Of course he wasn't going to ask her out for me was he? (understand I was only 10 at the time).

I was quite an immature and misbehaving kid around that age which I guess is part of the reason why not that many girls approached me.

I think attractiveness is just as much a curse as it is a blessing anyway.
 
Oh boy. You know, im all for being yourself and dressing the way you like. But the problem with your choices is that they're probally the most horrible ones ever.


Im pretty sure you would look a thousand times better with a good shave and different clothes. And if you ever want to get laid again, dont post those pictures on Facebook, trust me.

Swords and sunglasses really?
My feelings as well. I'm not the best dresser but a change of clothes can make a huge difference. Ditch the beard. If that's how you wanna dress though then whatever, that's cool
 
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