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Home Invasion: Robbed at gunpoint for some pot

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Jun 22, 2009
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Hood River, OR
Last night was my last night in Seattle. I was at my friend's house, drinking some beers, smoking some bowls and just hanging out. I was supposed to crash on his couch and then get up and drive to my new house in Oregon in the morning. One of the guys in the house deals pot, but mostly in small quantities.

Suddenly we heard a loud crash from the kitchen and when I look up there's at least 2 large black men with ski masks coming through the kitchen door. Each one has a silver 9mm in one hand and a taser in the other and they're yelling, "Get on the flo' nigga! Empty yo pockets, nigga!"

I was drunk and high so at first I thought it was all some kind of joke, then I realized that everyone else had hit the deck. I dove to the floor and curled my head into my hands.

Then they told us to get naked. I didn't hear anyone else disrobing and they didn't push the point, so I just stayed still. One of the guys rounded the room, collected cell phones and wallets, and tased each one of us. The other one asked for my friend "J" (the guy who deals).

He took J to his room and took his stash, plus all the cash he had. Then as they were leaving they kept saying, "We have your IDs and phones. We know where you live. Don't call the cops. Count to 100 and don't get off the floor, because we're coming back in and we'll shoot you."

As soon as it was all over and we'd given them time to get away, we all got up and took stock. Everyone got tased except J, who was busy getting the weed and money. Steve got tased twice and he was the only one that complied with the command to get naked.

The consensus in the room was that no cops would be called, all dealing operations would cease, and they'd start looking for a new place right away. Then the finger pointing started, where they tried to rationalize which one of their customers had set them up.

They missed my phone, but took my money clip with a few cards. Luckily I was able to call my bank and have my debit card canceled, however, they also took my Hawaii drivers license, my college ID, and an expired credit card.

We all kind of sat in the house for a while, sketched out about going outside. Finally we ventured out for a cigarette, then I grabbed my shit and left. Since I already moved out of my house, I had to call my ex and ask if I could crash on her couch.

Now I'm stuck in Seattle with no gas money, no ID, and no debit card.
 

EmCeeGramr

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Jun 25, 2005
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Commodore_Perry said:
Suddenly we heard a loud crash from the kitchen and when I look up there's at least 2 large black men with ski masks coming through the kitchen door. Each one has a silver 9mm in one hand and a taser in the other and they're yelling, "Get on the flo' nigga! Empty yo pockets, nigga!"

ahahaha
 

Carlisle

Member
Oct 26, 2006
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Pennsylvania, USA
That really sucks to hear, but this:
Steve got tased twice and he was the only one that complied with the command to get naked.
...made me lol. I think there's a Steve in every group who just gets the shit deal and you have to love him.

Best of luck with getting a new phone, debit card, etc. Don't do drugs.
 

Tater Tot

"My God... it's full of Starch!"
Jan 8, 2009
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Somone set up paypal account so we can chip in. To help him out and get his guns and weep and Ids back.

EDIT: fucken beaten
 

shintoki

sparkle this bitch
Oct 9, 2007
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Commodore_Perry said:
As soon as it was all over and we'd given them time to get away, we all got up and took stock. Everyone got tased except J, who was busy getting the weed and money. Steve got tased twice and he was the only one that complied with the command to get naked.
Get Naked!
Why the hell did you get Naked!

SnakeswithLasers said:
Thanks for clarifying!!
Thanks for clarifying.
 
Oct 16, 2006
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shuri said:

Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.
 

Gio_CoD

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Feb 16, 2005
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SnakeswithLasers said:
Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.
I think you should find and nag the large black men who reinforced their own stereotypes by robbing people for their weed and money instead of the OP.
 

Flo_Evans

Member
Feb 3, 2005
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Jason's Ultimatum said:
Cool story, bra.


Anyway, this story and the other dude getting punched in the face while sleeping.....what's going on on GAF? :lol

No kidding... I was going to post a thread about how my wife almost got facebook scammed, but it really doesn't seem like a big deal next to these home invasions. :lol
 

mre

Golden Domers are chickenshit!!
May 19, 2006
30,263
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Borgnine said:
Really not one of you knew Brazillian Jiu Jitsu?

That only works if your assailant is out of his mind on pcp. Doesn't work against pot-heads.
 

Veidt

Blasphemer who refuses to accept bagged milk as his personal savior
Dec 20, 2008
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SnakeswithLasers said:
Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.

Well, in his defense, there's 12 million black people in America and what? 300 million white people? This will certainly help the investigation and make it easier to triangulate.

The dudes that robbed him were black, what choice does he have? In all honesty, I thought they were white. Just look at the statistics I gave you, white people are far more likely to be robbers in numbers alone.
 

Kurtofan

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May 8, 2009
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SnakeswithLasers said:
Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.
He doesn't reinforce anything he just describe what happened...
It's not his fault if his agressors were black.
 

Slizz

Member
Mar 19, 2007
17,159
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SnakeswithLasers said:
Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.
 

mre

Golden Domers are chickenshit!!
May 19, 2006
30,263
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Commodore_Perry said:
When you're sitting in a living room full of nerdy white kids, I think it's notable that it looked and sounded like we got robbed by ODB.

Well, shit. He wasn't even after you guys, then. He just had the wrong house:

"Get on the flo' nigga! Empty yo pockets, nigga!"

That or he, at least, didn't see you as "white." He was able to get past your race, so why'd you have to bring up his?
 

Wes

venison crêpe
May 14, 2006
41,682
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This thread has so much bait potential... it will not end well.

Imm0rt4l said:
thats why you don't fuck with drug dealers.

But wasn't the drug dealer the one that got "fucked"?
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
Jun 6, 2004
19,658
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Imm0rt4l said:
thats why you don't fuck with drug dealers.


No shit. Who hangs out at a drug dealer's house? Sorry this happened to the OP, but you need to re-evaluate your decision making.
 
Jun 22, 2009
975
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Hood River, OR
mre said:
Well, shit. He wasn't even after you guys, then. He just had the wrong house:



That or he, at least, didn't see you as "white." He was able to get past your race, so why'd you have to bring up his?

Fixed?

Commodore_Perry said:
Suddenly we heard a loud crash from the kitchen and when I look up there's at least 2 large men with ski masks coming through the kitchen door. Each one has a silver 9mm in one hand and a taser in the other and they're yelling, "Get on the flo' nigga! Empty yo pockets, nigga!"
 

Az

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May 12, 2008
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Was just waiting on someone to point out that he mentioned black men. Well if black men rob me, I will say that black men robbed me, not because they are black men just because THEY happened to be black men.
 

Osaka

Did not ask for this tag
Sep 26, 2007
2,978
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Finland
SnakeswithLasers said:
Nah, it's awesome to reinforce the stereotype of the large black criminal. Omit race when it's a white guy, include it when it's a black guy--that way people won't get the wrong idea and not be scared of every 6'4 black guy they walk past.

idiot
 

dskillzhtown

keep your strippers out of my American football
Jun 6, 2004
19,658
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48
TheAzRim said:
Was just waiting on someone to point out that he mentioned black men. Well if black men rob me, I will say that black men robbed me, not because they are black men just because THEY happened to be black men.

Agreed, people who are outraged are baffling to me.
 

mre

Golden Domers are chickenshit!!
May 19, 2006
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Commodore_Perry said:

Wow, I hope they weren't white guys, otherwise they were not only robbers, but guilty of using a racially insensitive phrase: "Get on the flo' nigga! Empty yo pockets, nigga!" I'm not sure which would be worse.
 
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