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Houston Asterisks' Midget 2nd Basemen Jose Altuve Alleged to Use 'Buzzers' Under His Jersey to Cheat

ManaByte

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mcucosmic.com

We knew about 2017, but what about 2019? This was Jose Altuve's reaction to his walk off against Chapman to knock the Yankees out of the ALCS. Dude demanded no one rip his jersey off as he was mobbed at home plate. But why? Maybe because he was wearing wires under his fucking jersey!
Could you imagine if they did rip his jersey off and they just found his covered in buzzers? What if they dumped gatorade on him and he just got electrocuted and died on the field? Altuve's excuse was that his wife didn't want his jersey ripped off and that he's shy. Well that's bizarre. Altuve then slipped into the dugout and reappeared with his World Series shirt on. Weird.

Whatever it is, this is fascinating. If this actually gets proven you need to ban Altuve for life. I'm not even kidding. Like what other choice do you have?

Do the banned for life dance little man!


 

Musky_Cheese

Community Liaison
Oct 23, 2016
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Mad Dog is laying into the Astros and Jessica right now

Inject all this drama into my veins please
 

SlimySnake

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Feb 5, 2013
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lol i called it two months ago. no one is sitting on a 3-1 or 2-1 slider in the bottom of the 9th inning against a fastball pitcher like chapman,

the way they crushed every single homerun in that series was bizarre. every single home run was a bomb no doubt home run. especially at the yankees stadium where yankees heard them whistling. i would have to go back and confirm but i dont remember any opposite field homeruns either. they were jsut sitting on fastballs and crushing them to left field.
 

DESTROYA

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Jan 1, 2011
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Punish all the losers that did this, even as a Red Sox fan I feel embarrassed about what a shit sow this has become , hell they even say 8-9 other teams were cheating , punish them all bad enough so they never even think of doing this again.
 
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Daxter32jak

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Feb 25, 2017
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I just saw this on my news feed. If this is true this is absolutely insane.

I wanna say this is probably one of the biggest scandals in sports history
 

cryptoadam

... and he cannot lie
Feb 21, 2018
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Stopped having interest in baseball after the Expos were dead. Is this going to be a bigger black eye on baseball then steroids?
 

Rock And Roll

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This is so sad I just want it to end. To think I've made it out to the Skydome to watch the Astros play when they're in town because I thought Altuve was a generational talent is so infuriating.
 
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Daxter32jak

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Feb 25, 2017
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Stopped having interest in baseball after the Expos were dead. Is this going to be a bigger black eye on baseball then steroids?
100% imo
Mainly because this was a team effort to gain an edge. A coordinated system from multiple players that was used for an entire season and the post season against multiple teams. In addition, to that, the managers willfully failed to stop his team from cheating. He (AJ Hinch) knew about it and pretty much said “meh”

Steroids is about ones sole performance (see Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds) that, for the most part, negligibly impacts a game
 
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Aug 11, 2019
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Wow it keeps getting deeper and deeper every day. If this whole buzzer thing ends up being true, there has to be more teams doing similar things right? It's hard for me to imagine the first ones doing this happen to be the firstones caught. I don't trust MLB for one second to perform a legit investigation and this last one resulting in the current suspensions was only here for window dressing.

The next couple weeks are going to be really interesting. We already have 3 teams without a manager just a few months before opening day.
 
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Rock And Roll

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Sep 28, 2014
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Wow it keeps getting deeper and deeper every day. If this whole buzzer thing ends up being true, there has to be more teams doing similar things right? It's hard for me to imagine the first ones doing this happen to be the firstones caught. I don't trust MLB for one second to perform a legit investigation and this last one resulting in the current suspensions was only here for window dressing.

The next couple weeks are going to be really interesting. We already have 3 teams without a manager just a few months before opening day.
Manfred's report is extremely fishy if you read it. I'm willing to bet they knew about the buzzer but hoped they could sweep this under the rug. Honestly if the punishment was severe in the first place I think people would have been over this by now, but that light slap on the wrist just made people do more digging. And I'm sure Beltrans "niece" felt the punishment was underwhelming and decided to leak this.
 

Musky_Cheese

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Oct 23, 2016
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Manfred's report is extremely fishy if you read it. I'm willing to bet they knew about the buzzer but hoped they could sweep this under the rug. Honestly if the punishment was severe in the first place I think people would have been over this by now, but that light slap on the wrist just made people do more digging. And I'm sure Beltrans "niece" felt the punishment was underwhelming and decided to leak this.
I'm thinking that too
 

synchronicity

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Dec 16, 2011
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I don't know why people are shocked by any of this. It's as old as competition itself. Participants will do whatever they can to get an advantage within and outside the rules. And it's not confined to the Astros and Red Sox. It's pervasive. If you don't understand this, I envy your naivety.
 
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Rock And Roll

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I don't know why people are shocked by any of this. It's as old as competition itself. Participants will do whatever they can to get an advantage within and outside the rules. And it's not confined to the Astros and Red Sox. It's pervasive. If you don't understand this, I envy your naivety.
No one is shocked by cheating and teams trying to get a competitive edge. But you don't think that a team literally wiring their players with electronic devices, having a guy watching a live feed to figure out pitch sequences who then relays it to a guy in the dugout also wearing some sort of transmitter, who then relays the information to the batter silently through a buzzer (all done within the span of 3-5 seconds, by the way) is not at all out of the realm of normal cheating? I don't think this has anything to with naivety.
 

synchronicity

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Dec 16, 2011
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No one is shocked by cheating and teams trying to get a competitive edge. But you don't think that a team literally wiring their players with electronic devices, having a guy watching a live feed to figure out pitch sequences who then relays it to a guy in the dugout also wearing some sort of transmitter, who then relays the information to the batter silently through a buzzer (all done within the span of 3-5 seconds, by the way) is not at all out of the realm of normal cheating? I don't think this has anything to with naivety.
What I think (and know) is that teams will do whatever they can to gain a competitive advantage, within "fair play" or not. And it has been a part of sport (and life, of which sport is a nice microcosm) since its inception. "Win at all costs" is the default mentality. I wish there was a greater sense of honor and respect for both the competition and your fellow competitors, but that is not, and has never been, the case.
 
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