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how do I nicely throw out someone that's overstayed their welcome?

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sarcastor

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I've had a friend stay over my house for 15 days. It was suppose to be only a couple of days. She just watches netflix all night and smokes weed and get stupid drunk all day and sleep.

She said she would be leaving shortly repeatedly. I gave her a deadline of July 4th. Then it turn into the 5th. And now i said leave tonight or I'm putting your stuff on the street. she's been trying to find a place to crash for the past 3 hours.

Problem is I'm too nice of a guy and I'm afraid she has no wear to go. But dammit, 15 days is way to long. She drank all my disaranno!
 
P

Pakkidis

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Thats a tough one. I say help her look for a place or could you not send her back from where she came from?
 
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Erevador

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sarcastor said:
Problem is I'm too nice of a guy and I'm afraid she has no wear to go. But dammit, 15 days is way to long. She drank all my disaranno!
Click to expand...
Doesn't sound like much of a house guest.

She was lucky to last as long as she did.
 
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sarcastor

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Pakkidis said:
Thats a tough one. I say help her look for a place or could you not send her back from where she came from?
Click to expand...

She lives in LA but she has been in the SF bay area for a while. I'm starting to think she actually has no home cause has 3 bags of stuff. Who travels with pillow cases and throw rugs?

I offered to pay for a hotel days ago but she said no. And i don't want to bother my friends with her.
 
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Slayven

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15 days? damn I wouldn't even let family stay that long.

Are you guys Friends or Friends with benefits?

cause those are two different ways of handling the situation.
 
R

Rich!

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U

unknownhero

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but seriously, Tell her in a calm matter that she has to leave by the end of the day. Do what you can to help her pack and send her to a hotel but don't be a doormat.
 
A

AlfonzoPalutena

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May 15, 2014
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The longer you let it slide, the bigger a problem it will be.

In New York City, , if a guest has been living in the apartment for over 30 days, then the Unlawful Eviction Law prevents tenant or landlord from any self-help remedies to evict the guest, even if he’s not technically a tenant

The law is similar elsewhere.

TL:DR Kick her out soon or she's a bit more than a guest. Also how much does this friend mean to you? Why are you letting this slide. Be firm and give her six hours to get out. When she doesn't leave put her stuff on the sidewalk.
 
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sarcastor

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Elitist1945 said:
You've done more then enough. Just tell her she can't stay any longer, and if she really needs it, maybe help her find a new place to stay.
Click to expand...

already gave her a cut off of tonight before my roommate gets home and throws her shit out.

Slayven said:
15 days? damn I wouldn't even let family stay that long.
Are you guys Friends or Friends with benefits? cause those are two different ways of handling the situation.
Click to expand...

just friends. i don't want to complicate things further by having sex with an alcoholic.
 
T

therapist

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Nov 1, 2005
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Slayven said:
15 days? damn I wouldn't even let family stay that long.

Are you guys Friends or Friends with benefits?

cause those are two different ways of handling the situation.
Click to expand...

This needs answering

This person has no job , drinks YOUR booze and smokes weed all day and does nothing and its been going on for 2 weeks?

Surprised you put up with it this long

edit : Ah i see you answered above

Yea , kick her out either way

Your roommate must be very nice to be putting up with this , i sure as fuck wouldnt
 
N

neshcom

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What's her deal? Is she supposed to be looking for a job? I suppose if you were to give her a graduated move-out demand, give her x time to get a shitty part-time job and start paying rent before having her get her own place/roomates.

But also 2 weeks of /nothing/ is pretty selfish...
 
S

sarcastor

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neshcom said:
What's her deal? Is she supposed to be looking for a job? I suppose if you were to give her a graduated move-out demand, give her x time to get a shitty part-time job and start paying rent before having her get her own place/roomates..
Click to expand...

she lives elsewhere, she's just visiting

AlfonzoPalutena said:
TL:DR Kick her out soon or she's a bit more than a guest. Also how much does this friend mean to you? Why are you letting this slide. Be firm and give her six hours to get out. When she doesn't leave put her stuff on the sidewalk.
Click to expand...

yeah definitely going to defriend her. I guess I'm too nice. My ex girlfriend was an alcoholic and had a lot of issues, and I think i stayed in that relationship too long cause of guilt and pity, and here I am again being too nice.

i wish i was more of an asshole sometimes.
 
T

therapist

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sarcastor said:
she lives elsewhere, she's just visiting



yeah definitely going to defriend her. I guess I'm too nice. My ex girlfriend was an alcoholic and had a lot of issues, and I think i stayed in that relationship too long cause of guilt and pity :(
Click to expand...

just visiting , with 3 bags of stuff including pillows....doubtful
sounds like she got kicked out of her place or something , most likely due to the drinking i am guessing
 
P

Piecake

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Its not your fault that she has no where to go. It is her fault. She isn't doing anything to improve her life like looking for a job or an apartment, so the only thing you are doing is enabling her mooching and leeching behavior.

You are not family and you are not her SO. You have already done plenty as a friend. Give her a solid deadline in a few days and tell her that is when you want her gone. If she refuses, then call the cops. If she doesn't leave, she obviously doesn't respect you, so you shouldn't respect her.
 
S

sarcastor

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Piecake said:
Its not your fault that she has no where to go. It is her fault. She isn't doing anything to improve her life like looking for a job or an apartment, so the only thing you are doing is enabling her mooching and leeching behavior.

You are not family and you are not her SO. You have already done plenty as a friend. Give her a solid deadline in a few days and tell her that is when you want her gone. If she refuses, then call the cops. If she doesn't leave, she obviously doesn't respect you, so you shouldn't respect her.
Click to expand...

yeah i know its her fault for not looking for a new place sooner. but she's having problem finding a place tonight cause she is stoned and drunk and waited until the last moment.

I am totally gonna defriend her later.
 
S

sarcastor

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sweet, she just fell asleep while on her laptop. Even though she slept like 14 hours toda.

People, do not smoke too much weed. It is just way to strong nowadays.

:mad:
 
Q

Quixzlizx

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Jul 6, 2006
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sarcastor said:
sweet, she just fell asleep while on her laptop. Even though she slept like 14 hours toda.

People, do not smoke too much weed. It is just way to strong nowadays.

:mad:
Click to expand...

On the plus side, she's probably totally zonked, and won't notice you dragging her out to the lawn.
 
Y

Your Entertainer

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For fucks sake, grow a spine already and just throw her out. Take her stuff out, now, like right now, and then wake her up and tell her she's out now. She's already figured she can keep getting more from you so she'll keep going.
 
S

sarcastor

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Quixzlizx said:
On the plus side, she's probably totally zonked, and won't notice you dragging her out to the lawn.
Click to expand...

i already threaten to throw her shit on the street. she begged me not ot.

smurfx said:
how does she have that much weed to smoke? if she has the money to be spending on weed then don't worry about what she will do when you throw her out.
Click to expand...

i told her to get a hotel room and she said she can't afford one. maybe she tricks guys into getting her weed? I don't fucking know.
 
S

SwiftDeath

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Guessing she's unemployed in addition to likely being homeless?

It might seem hard but you either have to get a lot firmer with your demand for her to leave or get someone else who will.
 
U

unknownhero

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sarcastor said:
i told her to get a hotel room and she said she can't afford one. maybe she tricks guys into getting her weed? I don't fucking know.
Click to expand...

sounds like she's either stealing the weed or stealing the money for the weed.

After reading the additional info, just kick her out. no deadlines. Just tell her to get out asap or you'll call the police. It's harsh but it's apparent she's just using you. real friends wouldn't do that.
 
J

jb1234

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I think you've done more than enough for her. I only would have done as much for a friend if I considered them like family (and that's not a long list).
 
S

shem935

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Jun 8, 2013
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Well reading more of your posts it doesn't sound like you are going to kick her out on your own so again: Charge rent, enforce no smoking/drinking in the house. She will remove herself eventually.
 
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