After reading that your friends have a hard time talking to you it makes me want to ask the question of: Do they know your past? Because if they do not then you really should see about opening up to them. I went to a mental hospital for depression and suicidal thoughts, I got the help I needed and then it also took work on my part (talking to friends, family, people in general). I had to stay away from negative things for awhile and take a break from life basically. It helps also to examine your life and start positive self-talk. The things that have happened to you are not your fault by any means, this is the first thing you need to realize. NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT.
Do not ruminate or withdraw either, talk to people, go out and just sit in a busy place. I know that it may sound stupid, but it helps.
I also suggest seeking free psychological help (therapist) go on google and look up free groups/therapist. There is always help available, no matter how bleak it may look there is always help.
Problem is that you cannot turn off depression, setting goals and getting motivated come after the psychological help. I agree with you that meds will not work for all people, they did not help me in my case at all, but therapy most likely will help. I found talking about it helped more then any other method. This is all just for me though, some people are different so it is not the case for all.
yeah most of my friends know about my past, but that still doesnt excuse me from being eternally bleak