• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
  • Hi Guest. We've rebooted and consolidated our Communities section, so be sure to check it out and subscribe to some threads. Thanks!

How do you do your "catharting"?

synchronicity

Member
Dec 16, 2011
2,505
1,465
780
We all have ways of coping when the pressure builds and we need to turn the valve to prevent a nuclear event. So, how do you do it? Exercise, gaming, meditation, sex, etc.?

I was thinking about this, and I remembered something I wrote for that purpose in order to cleanse myself of some built up emotions. Writing is one of the methods I use for my catharting. I write in my journal, I write fiction, poetry, etc. But this was a different case.

A year or so ago, my marriage was reaching its end, and naturally that entails a great deal of emotional weight for all parties involved. In the spirit of letting some of my energy out, I penned this note to my, now, ex-wife. (I didn't deliver it. It was just for me and my release. Although maybe I should have. :p)

I'll share what I wrote for your amusement:

"If the greatest cosmic intellect, possessing profound knowledge of all things and beings, embarked upon the purpose of examining me with the singular intention of obtaining an exhaustive understanding of what would cause me the greatest pain and suffering, there could have yet been no design constructed to that end with any greater efficiency, precision, finesse and craft than that of yourself. Please take comfort, my dear, in knowing that in my eyes you are truly and most sincerely a measure of perfection.

And if, by some cosmic roll of the dice, we were the last two sentient beings in the entirety of the universe, and we were separated by 10 billion light years, both of us living as primitive beings on our respective planets without any advanced technology which would allow for travel or any means of communication whatsoever, I would still destroy myself in order to prevent the unfathomably remote possibility of ever encountering your presence."

Whew. That was really a relief to write at the time.

Share your stories and/or methods of letting it out.







 

Husky

Member
Aug 13, 2017
981
1,556
560
The Bowery, Exodus
Chess! I like to put a song on and see if I can win before it's over. Last one took me under two minutes.
I'd play a lot more Minesweeper if I could find a variation that removed all luck-based scenarios. Once I've made that first click, I want to clear away tiles only with absolute certainty--but usually, at the end of the game, there's a tiny fuckin spot that has to be guessed away at. Then I just quit.
 

DESTROYA

Member
Jan 1, 2011
2,453
1,383
730
USA
I’m told I have a pretty carefree attitude and don’t let the small things bother me, what do I do be so stress free?
Just who I am,as long as my family and friends are healthy and relatively happy I’m good.
 

DESTROYA

Member
Jan 1, 2011
2,453
1,383
730
USA
What if they are not?
Absolutely right things aren’t always great I just try to make the best of every situation as best I can wherever I can , I had a brother pass away from cancer a few years back and believe it or not and that opened my eyes as to how fleeting and fragile lives truly are. You only get one chance at this so you got to make it count because you never know when it’s your last.....corny as hell, yes but it works for me.
Loosing my brother crushed me for a long time.
 

Iorv3th

Member
Jan 16, 2013
5,337
606
555
I'm going through a similar phase that you described. I haven't gotten to release anything yet, but have been doing a lot of reading and studying. I usually would just be angry and yell or something. I feel a lot less of that aggressive anger right now though.
 

Dark Star

Member
Jan 14, 2018
539
479
330
Playing drums, guitar, piano, etc. Extremely cathartic. Even if the goal isn't to "write music" or "produce a song". Just letting your limbs and fingers do the "talking". Play loud, play angry, play sad, play soulful... It's all a great way to blow off steam and let your mind free. Playing songs that I used to listen to during my adolescent years is REALLY cathartic, approaching on nostalgia.
 
Last edited:

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
i work out like a savage, take copious amounts of drugs, and play murder simulators on the regular

i'm a pretty chill guy tho when the pentagon isn't forcing ultra violence experiments on my person
 
Last edited:

-Arcadia-

Member
Aug 20, 2019
886
2,023
475
I just let it out, unless it’s some kind of a situation that requires discretion. Frankly, I’d rather have that nuclear event (if reasonable, we all get angry about stupid stuff sometimes), get it over with, and shut the door (not wallowing in anger is important).

I don’t want to carry that stuff around with me, or push it under, so that some innocuous thing happens and I explode, maybe at someone I care about.
 

betrayal

Member
Feb 2, 2018
625
638
335
One single word.
Responsibility.

People tend to blame everyone and everything for what's bad in their own life, but they never take responsibility.

You must accept the fact, that in one way or another, you're always responsible for the way you feel. The moment you don't take responsibility is the moment you handing over the power to external things or events that now can dictate how you feel. So even if there are rare situations you couldn't really prevent, take personal responsibility for it anyway, so whatever the shit is you're going through, you know you will always have the power and control to make things right.
You decide what meaning you give to each and every moment in your life. You may not decide what shows up in your life, but you always decide how you show up. You do not decide the circumstances in your life, but you always decide how you react to these circumstances.

It really comes down to this and some people get it, but most don't. Most people read or hear it, but don't understand it. Put simply, the way you feel about everything in your life...is your life.

Also always remember that there are no strong persons out there with an easy past. So enjoy the ride!
 
Last edited:

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
with all due respect, you're not completely responsible for everything that happens in your life

mostly we all work on a kind of autopilot that is slave to our limbic system's wants and needs

by all means live life like you are in charge, but you aren't
 
  • Like
Reactions: synchronicity

betrayal

Member
Feb 2, 2018
625
638
335
with all due respect, you're not completely responsible for everything that happens in your life

mostly we all work on a kind of autopilot that is slave to our limbic system's wants and needs

by all means live life like you are in charge, but you aren't
The kind of autopilot you mean has nothing to do with our limbic system. The limbic system has an impact on our behavior, but only for things that are essential to our life (food, self-preservation, ...), emotions and some other stuff.
What you mean is that almost every interactions in our lives are unconscious. which is true of course. But we're no animals. We're humans and we have something called the consciousness, which can always take the lead in every single situation, no exceptions, if you are able to control your emotions aka our limbic system. If you're a slave of your limbic system, than you will shit your pants and cry like a baby everytime something bad happens, but i would argue that's not what all people do.

I've already said that there will be situations in your life you just can not control or prevent. That's ok. But talking responsibility, even for those events, will make it very clear to you, that you can change the way how you cope with hardships in a way that will benefit you, because that's exactly what people forget when shit happens or they're under pressure.
 
Last edited:
  • Thoughtful
Reactions: Tesseract

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
The kind of autopilot you mean has nothing to do with our limbic system. The limbic system has an impact on our behavior, but only for things that are essential to our life (food, self-preservation, ...), emotions and some other stuff.
What you mean is that almost every interactions in our lives are unconscious. which is true of course. But we're no animals. We're humans and we have something called the consciousness, which can always take the lead in every single situation, no exceptions, if you are able to control your emotions aka our limbic system. If you're a slave of your limbic system, than you will shit your pants and cry like a baby everytime something bad happens, but i would argue that's not what every people do.

I've already said that there will be situations in you life you just can not control or prevent. That's ok. But talking responsibility, even for those events, will make it very clear to you, that you can change the way how you cope with hardships.
we are animals and because thoughts make man, we can delude ourselves into believing we're in control

external stimuli doesn't much matter, it creates trauma that fractures the psyche (sometimes for the better)
 
  • Like
Reactions: betrayal

betrayal

Member
Feb 2, 2018
625
638
335
we are animals and because thoughts make man, we can delude ourselves into believing we're in control
You're right. If somebody you think you're always in control, even if you're not, and you focus to change things for the better, than you will always be positive, you can endure any hardship and you will most likely be a better and stronger person after life hits you in the face.

And that's exaclty what i've said.


external stimuli doesn't much matter, it creates trauma that fractures the psyche (sometimes for the better)
Depends on your interpretations of these stimuli aka the things and events happen in your life and ultimately it is exactly these interpretations which define how these stimuli will change you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tesseract

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
You're right. If somebody you think you're always in control, even if you're not, and you focus to change things for the better, than you will always be positive, you can endure any hardship and you will most likely be a better and stronger person after life hits you in the face.

And that's exaclty what i've said.




Depends on your interpretations of these stimuli aka the things and events happen in your life and ultimately it is exactly these interpretations which define how these stimuli will change you.
fair enough
 

Shelbutt

Gold Member
Apr 20, 2019
256
445
540
27
North Carolina
Eating. Which has been a big factor into 99% of my weight gain. Back before I moved(ranaway) from my parents, it's the only thing I could control. Back then I also was super active by playing / running outside, was taking adhd medication which kills any weight gain (for me usuallly)
Trying to replace that with other things, namely working out. Not to just lose weight, to be healthier in general.

chilling watching youtube or listening to music is really the only other thing that relaxes me. Sex and all that makes me feel good but doesn't really do much for 'unwinding' for some reason.

Unfortunately I'm still working on it all, so I'll stop having nuclear fucking meltdowns every few years (not like tantrums, more like, my brain has snapped)
 
  • Love
Reactions: synchronicity

synchronicity

Member
Dec 16, 2011
2,505
1,465
780
I'm going through a similar phase that you described. I haven't gotten to release anything yet, but have been doing a lot of reading and studying. I usually would just be angry and yell or something. I feel a lot less of that aggressive anger right now though.
Godspeed brother. Cutting deep ties is stressful, even if it needs to be done and is ultimately for the best.

You must accept the fact, that in one way or another, you're always responsible for the way you feel.
How can we be responsible for the way we feel when we aren't even responsible for the fact that we exist in the first place?

What I mean is, do you think you could have had any other view than the one you presented? I'm not so sure. Subjectively it may seem so, but that isn't necessarily evidence of autonomy. (Don't want to get too sidetracked from the main topic, but here I go, lol.)
 
Last edited:

GV82

Member
Jun 27, 2019
278
319
290
UK










Heavy Metal is good for the soul. But you don’t have to go into the pits to have a good release with Metal Music just being at a gig or listening or creating music is cathartic too.
 
Last edited:

SLoWMoTIoN

Milk Connoisseur
Feb 2, 2018
8,741
7,668
815
with all due respect, you're not completely responsible for everything that happens in your life

mostly we all work on a kind of autopilot that is slave to our limbic system's wants and needs

by all means live life like you are in charge, but you aren't
You are responsible for all of your direct actions.
 
  • Thoughtful
Reactions: Tesseract

betrayal

Member
Feb 2, 2018
625
638
335
How can we be responsible for the way we feel when we aren't even responsible for the fact that we exist in the first place?

What I mean is, do you think you could have had any other view than the one you presented? I'm not so sure. Subjectively it may seem so, but that isn't necessarily evidence of autonomy. (Don't want to get too sidetracked from the main topic, but here I go, lol.)
Like i said, you cannot control what happens to you or for you, but you can always control how you respond to it. I mean, this really would derail the whole thread, but your life is the summation of your decisions. Even to believe that you're responsible for you own life is a decision. We live within our choices. Just think about your own life. Where you are right now is the result of the choices you've made maybe even many years ago. Other choices and you probably would be living a totally different life right now. A choice is always a decision and a decision means taking responsibility.

Just because you may not be responsible for the fact that you exist doesn't mean you're not responsible for your life.
 
Last edited:

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
Like i said, you cannot control what happens to you or for you, but you can always control how you respond to it. I mean, this really would derail the whole thread, but your life is the summation of your decisions. Even to believe that you're responsible for you own life is a decision. We live within our choices. Just thnk about your own life. Where you are right now, is the result of the choices you've made maybe even many years ago. Other choices and you probably would be living a totally different life right now. A choice is always a decision and a decision means taking responsibility.

Just because you may not be responsible for the fact that you exist doesn't mean you're not responsible for your life.
you cannot always control how you respond, please stop saying this
 

Tesseract

Crushed by Thanos
Dec 7, 2008
40,104
15,844
1,395
The Pentagon
Give me an example (besides dying)?
what examples do you need, i already told you thoughts make man, that we're basically run on autopilot

that's not my opinion, that's what the data shows from lab experiments (as we manipulate perceptions of space and time, cause and effect, behavior prediction and predilection, so on)

by all means carry on the delusion that you're in control, but you aren't
 
Last edited:

betrayal

Member
Feb 2, 2018
625
638
335
what examples do you need, i already told you thoughts make man, that we're basically run on autopilot

that's not my opinion, that's what the data shows from lab experiments (as we manipulate perceptions of space and time, cause and effect, behavior prediction and predilection, so on)

by all means carry on the delusion that you're in control, but you aren't
A simple example for a situation where you cannot choose how you respond. Shouldn't be so hard to do.

The thread is about "catharting". I've just said taking responsibility really helps with that. Nobody attacked your "lab experiments" or studies. They're all true. It's about living a better live and not about defying logic and science. I'm purely talking about the personal attitude and that taking responsiblity paired with strong morals and principles will help you immensely in dealing with hardships and living a life on your terms. So of course you can also predict the behavior of people talking responsibility, but it will be another behavior because of a different attitude.
 
Last edited: