How do you feel about your SO going as someone else's date to a wedding?

[Skel1ingt0n]

My GF and I have been together a little over a year and a half. One of her single guy friends had a wedding to attend this weekend, and asked her to be his "date."

We're both very trusting of the other, and so she said "yes." Later that day she told me, asked if I had any problem with it, and I said I do not - which is honest, I personally don't care at all. The only thing that even would kind of "bug" me is that I would always rather spend our time together, so sucks it's a Saturday night that we can't.

But I've had - at least - seven or eight people give me a hard time about it. Telling me I'm an idiot, that something is gonna happen, that I'm a "cuckold," etc. I know some of it is just razzing me; but there seems to be some genuine mockery in some of the statements.

It doesn't change how I feel; but it surprised me how many guys - and even a few girls - think I'm foolish.

Curious what others think. Won't change my opinion, but want to broaden my sample size.

EDIT: BTW, I use "date" in the most plain sense of the word. I mean it as "going with" someone as a Plus One - not as his GF for the night.

 

[carlsojo]

I would have a problem with my significant other going on a date with someone else, yeah.

 

[Deleted member 102362]

If you trust each other, and you guys are cool with it, then it sounds like you can ignore the haters.

 

[WadiumArcadium]

Just make sure you dispose of the body carefully. Ohhh, you're OK with it. Just ignore that.

 

[Visceir]

Why does she prefer to go to a strangers' wedding and being with some other guy rather than being with her boyfriend?

 

[mr2xxx]

Tell us about the other guy.

 

[DontBeThatGuy]

I dunno, seems harmless to me... (until it's not)

 

[Escape Goat]

That would be weird.

 

[Llyranor]

I've had a "date" with one of my married best friends for some formal event. It's no big deal, just a night out with a friend. Either you trust her or you don't.

EDIT: But in my case I didn't ask her to be my date. I don't think I would do that.

 

[crazyrabbits]

That's... odd. I agree with everyone else. Ask her why she wants to go to a stranger's wedding with someone who's clearly not her boyfriend?

 

[Enco]

Why does he want to take your gf?

Because he's interested and is hoping for something else. No other obvious reason.

edit: we all know that 90% of GAF will say there's nothing odd about it and it's ok

 

[bananafactory]

It's not weird at all really. I've gone to a wedding with a friend as a +1 before, there's nothing romantic about it. It's just like when we normally go out for dinner, except we're dressed nicer and there's free booze.

Why does he want to take your gf?

Because he's interested and is hoping for something else. No other obvious reason.

Yes, every time guys go out with their female friends it's because they are interested. Jesus Christ.

 

[jwk94]

lol no that's not happening. My SO would look at me like "Wtf?"

 

[Apt101]

Only if this person is a personal friend and can best me in combat first. Then maybe.

 

[Syf]

With those formal events sometimes it's more of a night out than a real date. If you trust her then don't let the other people get to you. She was honest from the beginning and asked permission so I don't think there's any issue here.

 

[smokeandmirrors]

I guess it depends on the situation and who the person is she's going with. I know there are a couple female friends I could go as a plus 1 with with absolutely no romantic feelings for so it could be one of those situations

 

[Wthermans]

I would not want my wife to go to a social event as the escort of someone else. You don't seem to mind and I find that admirable. Don't worry about others showing their insecurity through bad jokes.

 

[jwk94]

With those formal events sometimes it's more of a night out than a real date. If you trust her then don't let the other people get to you. She was honest from the beginning and asked permission so I don't think there's any issue here.

She din't ask though. She said yes, then told him about it.

 

[Veitsev]

She din't ask though. She said yes, then told him about it.

Yep.

 

[davepoobond]

So why would she want to go to some random dude's wedding, on top of that in exclusion of being with you instead on a Saturday?

Who is this guy that she is going with anyway?


Is the wedding something really special as an event other than a wedding? Like celebrities getting married?

 

[Syf]

She din't ask though. She said yes, then told him about it.

She asked if he had any problem with it. It's no big deal.

 

[bananafactory]

She din't ask though. She said yes, then told him about it.

She doesn't need to ask, she can do what she wants. And then she let him know about it which was the right thing to do.

 

[theaface]

That's... odd. I agree with everyone else. Ask her why she wants to go to a stranger's wedding with someone who's clearly not her boyfriend?

This. Don't know why she'd even want to go and I don't know why the guy would want to bring a random friend as a +1. I personally think +1s are for SOs, not just 'bring a mate'. Not saying you've anything to worry about or anything like that, but it all seems a bit odd to me.

 

[DJ_Lae]

I doubt there would be a problem, but it's still a bit of an odd thing somehow. Not a 'holy shit I would never do that' feeling, but weird. Really weird.

 

[Principate]

Why does she prefer to go to a strangers' wedding and being with some other guy rather than being with her boyfriend?

This is the question.

Another question is why this guy is asking to take another dudes girlfriend on a wedding date.

It may be nothing but alarm bell's should be ringing OP.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

It seems weird for a guy to ask someone who is already in a relationship to be his "date" to a wedding? Why wouldn't a single guy want to go to the wedding solo? A wedding is like a buffet for a single guy.

That said if you trust her you trust her. The guy may try and make a move on her but if that doesn't mean something is going to happen.

 

[Escape Goat]

Is this other guy gay?

 

[USC-fan]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zywIR_ZFLts

 

[jwk94]

She doesn't need to ask, she can do what she wants. And then she let him know about it which was the right thing to do.

Umm, idk about you, but I'd be kinda mad if my GF didn't ask if she could go as someone's date to a formal event. And before anyone says she doesn't have to, she'd expect the same thing outta me and both our answers would be bewildered looks and no's.

 

[davepoobond]

She doesn't need to ask, she can do what she wants. And then she let him know about it which was the right thing to do.

In the real world, "courtesy" happens the other way around.

 

[Enco]

It's not weird at all really. I've gone to a wedding with a friend as a +1 before, there's nothing romantic about it. It's just like when we normally go out for dinner, except we're dressed nicer and there's free booze.

Yes, every time guys go out with their female friends it's because they are interested. Jesus Christ.

I'm sure he chose her because they're good chums. He just wants a bit of a laugh and fun time. I'm sure he would happily go with anyone else if they were available.

 

[Veitsev]

It seems weird for a guy to ask someone who is already in a relationship to be his "date" to a wedding? Why wouldn't a single guy want to go to the wedding solo? A wedding is like a buffet for a single guy.

That said if you trust her you trust her. The guy may try and make a move on her but if that doesn't mean something is going to happen.

I think we all know the answer. So does the OP's GF.

 

[CygnusXS]

This feels like a contextual thing that you can't really apply universal rules to.

 

[Head of Vengarl]

Unfortunately, my last (and only) relationship ended with my gf having an affair with my friend. I know not every woman will do me like that, but I'm still a little worried I might have trust issues after what happened. The words "he's just my friend!" kind of haunt me. This is one of those scenarios that would test me. I'd like to think I'd be OK with it as long as I knew her "date" was a good guy.

 

[Disgraced]

I think that's weird. What about this dude? You trust your girlfriend, right? I've always thought a wedding was a sort of serious place for a date.

 

[bananafactory]

Umm, idk about you, but I'd be kinda mad if my GF didn't ask if she could go as someone's date to a formal event. And before anyone says she doesn't have to, she'd expect the same thing outta me and both our answers would be bewildered looks and no's.

You use the term "date" but OP even said it's basically just a +1. And no I wouldn't care where my GF went with a friend if there's no romance between them. They can go for coffee, a movie, to a restaurant, to a wedding. Really makes no difference to me, what's so offensive about attending a wedding together?

 

[MrToughPants]

People are naive. If there is an opportunity and there is attraction the odds are not in your favour.

 

[Enco]

This feels like a contextual thing that you can't really apply universal rules to.

What context would make it ok for another guy to take your gf on a date to a wedding?

 

[Maddocks]

Damn, free booze and a dance floor. Going to be making a thread soon about how you broke up with your gf and don't know what to do next.

RIP relationship.

 

[Vic]

Dude should have asked YOU if it's alright to take her to that wedding. You would have probably said no.

 

[HarryKS]

She doesn't need to ask, she can do what she wants. And then she let him know about it which was the right thing to do.

So, basically, the cornerstone of any couple, which would be trust,intimacy and exclusivity would be negated by one person's wish and desires?

Either it's that or there's no pairing or someone can describe it as an open relationship.

If the other person is a sibling, makes sense, if not, no. Doesn't work.

 

[jwk94]

Why is this guy asking your GF though? He knew she was taken.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

I've never been to a wedding lol.

I have no idea how that shit works.

But.....I don't understand why they can't just go to the wedding individually. Like, "I'll see you at so-and-so's wedding". Is it like a formality thing? Do you need a "date" with you or some shit like a red carpet event?

 

[bananafactory]

So, basically, the cornerstone of any couple, which would be trust,intimacy and exclusivity would be negated by one person's wish and desires?

Either it's that or there's no pairing or someone can describe it as an open relationship.

If the other person is a sibling, makes sense, if not, no. Doesn't work.

Trust means that his girlfriend can go to a wedding with one of her friends and he doesn't need to worry about it. They're going to sit at a table and have some laughs and some drinks. How does that in any way invalidate OP's relationship with her?

 

[bananafactory]

I've never been to a wedding lol.

I have no idea how that shit works.

But.....I don't understand why they can't just go to the wedding individually. Like, "I'll see you at so-and-so's wedding". Is it like a formality thing? Do you need a "date" with you or some shit like a red carpet event?

It can feel kind of weird going to a wedding where you don't know anyone, especially if you're not great at meeting new people. I usually bring a friend so I have someone to talk to if I don't get on with the people at our table. But a lot of people roll solo, nothing wrong with that either.

 

[OCD Guy]

I'd be jealous.

Does the guy know she is in a relationship? I'd feel weird asking a girl who isn't single to go on a "date".

This whole situation just comes across as odd.

But the reality is if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. It doesn't matter what you do, whether you're possessive, go down their phone, interrogate them everyday about who and what they've been doing, or whether you're totally laid back and couldn't care less.

If someone wants to cheat they will....

Out of interest how do you think she would react if you were going to a wedding with a single woman? Quite often I find that it's never two way streets, like if my girlfriend goes out on a night out and I complain I get the "it's just friends going out for a dance", and I'm totally selfish for asking her not to go. However when I want to go out its because I want to "hook up" and if I don't stay in with her I'm totally selfish. You can't win....

 

[royalan]

Why does he want to take your gf?

Because he's interested and is hoping for something else. No other obvious reason.

edit: we all know that 90% of GAF will say there's nothing odd about it and it's ok

Ding ding ding...

 

[Kama_1082]

She wouldn't be my SO anymore.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

I've never been to a wedding lol.

I have no idea how that shit works.

But.....I don't understand why they can't just go to the wedding individually. Like, "I'll see you at so-and-so's wedding". Is it like a formality thing? Do you need a "date" with you or some shit like a red carpet event?

You are usually given a "+1" which means you can bring a date in case people have significant others, spouses, ect... Some people feel awkward going to weddings alone so they might bring a friend or something to come with them. I've seen this a lot with women, they'll bring a female friend as their +1 just to have someone to talk to. I've gone to quite a few weddings by myself though, especially if I know a lot of people at the event.

 

[0.1.1.2.3.5.8.13.21.34.55]

Sounds bogus. A "friend" would know not to ask that.

Also, attending a wedding single is the way to roll, unless you have a sure thing lined up (your SO).