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How Do You Guys Make Friends?

Vier

Member
Jun 7, 2019
3,091
6,288
570
Dallas, Texas
What do you do to make friends? Are you a confident person at ease with plonking your butt down next to a stranger and initiating conversation? Do you have to take a few deep breaths before talking to someone around you? What are your tactics to increase your friendship pool! And in before someone says they're too cool for friends lol you're the worst already. :messenger_winking_tongue:

Friendship making can be hard so let's all talk about how we made some of our friends! Cool and interesting stories about how you made some of your closest friends are also very welcome here. Stories are awesome. Friendship is magic, or so I hear. ;)

When I was a kid I used to stare at people until they became so uncomfortable that they had to talk to me, which is how I met my best friend.

Now I prefer to be around closer friends, but when I'm trying to get to know people I usually try a more .. friendly approach.
(I don't stare at strangers anymore, don't worry.)

(and hands up if you thought this thread was going to be asking for advice from reading the title)

It is!
 

H4ze

Member
Aug 20, 2019
799
774
330
Germany
I usually just let it happen, whenever I feel like I have a lot in common with someone, I automatically start to seek the conversation and sometimes you make a new friend. But of course, these events happen to be less often then when I was younger, but thats okay, I have a lot of great friends and I am very thankfull for that.
 
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Delf

Neo Member
Oct 26, 2020
40
127
150
I dont. Aside from my one childhood friend who I speak to via text on occasion.

My friends consist of the people I work with I guess. But that ends as soon as I leave work. Id never hang out with them off the clock and such.
Its honestly the perfect amount of human interaction I need outside my house/wife.

Everything and everyone is exhausting. I gave up making plans I knew I would never partake in 10+ years ago. Feels good not to bullshit people lol
A 'good time' is absolute silence and being alone.
 

Relativ9

Member
Nov 18, 2012
2,239
1,023
740
Narvik, Norway
Through events and referals mostly (ie, friend of a friend), when I worked in an office it was easy cause out of all the people I worked with naturally some were more into the same kind of stuff/had a smiliar view on the world so friendships were formed. Now that I work from home it's mostly when I go to conferences, events, participate in jams, ect. That said I have a pretty stable group of friends from when I was younger that I still keep in touch with and socialize almost daily with on Discord (despite having moved all around europe since my school days.)

As a tip? Be open and answer honestly when people ask how your weekend was, what you like to do on your free time, ect. They of course mostly ask to be polite and make small talk, not really caring about the answer; but on the off chance you reply something that they happen to also be very passionate about; they'll usually ask for more details, you will bond over a shared passion, and through that a friendship will slowly develop. Second tip? Be interesting and have interesting hobbies, if they're a bit spread out and diverse that's even better so the chances are that more people are into at least one of them.
 
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dusty_cookies

Neo Member
Jul 19, 2020
15
9
100
Go to college, made lots of friends and met my wife there. Then i lost the friends, kept the wife, and gained some human resources.
 
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DunDunDunpachi

Patient MembeR
Apr 18, 2018
29,242
70,007
1,375
USA
dunpachi.com
To make friends -- good friends, the kind of friends you actually want to have when you are old -- look at yourself first. Would you be your own friend? Would you tolerate yourself? How can you improve your flaws and humble yourself continually? How can you be a good friend? You have to be honest with yourself. Practice virtues like patience, love, and curiosity. Read and exercise to improve your mind, body, and spirit. Begin to act out the individual steps to move you toward your "better self" in the future. These can be done privately. I'm not suggesting that you "act" this way in front of people to impress them.

Over time you will begin projecting this future self to others, not in a "hey look at all these things I'm doing" sort of way, but in a "I have humble confidence" sort of way. You'll attain a magnetism that will attract people who fit in with this "future self" you're projecting to others. And if you are being honest about yourself, you'll attract people who are actually in-line with your interests and your goals!

Truthfully, this process happens whether you try or not. People attract "bad" friends to themselves all the time merely by engaging in certain social activities and/or hanging out in certain circles. You'll also attract people who are in-line with your interests and your goals (even if you have no goals, which will attract others with no goals). If you are fake about who you are, you'll attract people that aren't genuine, just like you! You want to use the same principle to your advantage instead of swimming upstream.
 
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thefool

Member
May 31, 2020
321
531
330
I meet girls through tinder, then sometimes if we socialize beyond fucking i meet other people. It's surprisingly effective.
 
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TeezzyD

Fantastik Tuna
Mar 18, 2020
8,546
21,754
935
"Friends" are people that I have known for over 15 years, meet once a week, and will probably know till the end of my life.
The rest are acquaintances.

I don't know why, but I am quite good with people usually.
It's easy for me to get people to like me...

You're a straight shooter and that goes a long way with most. Even when we disagree, I can respect your outlook. Just leave me and thicc Chloe alone for our brunch dates, you bully
 
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Moogle11

Member
Feb 7, 2020
1,472
1,405
565
I haven't made a new friend in 15 years or so.

Not quite to that extreme, but I’ve only made a couple of true friends in 11+ years since moving to this city for work (not counting my wife who I met here).

Not complaining though as I’m just not a people person so I haven’t sought out naming new friends and still have a close knit circle from grad school and before that I regularly text with, play games with and see a few times a year as well as some more causal acquaintances locally that I hang out with.

Works for me as between staying busy with work, time consuming hobbies like gaming, staying in shape, keeping the marriage working and being introverted too may close friendships gets exhausting. These months of working from home have been great on that front of having more energy from not being wiped from forced interactions with others at work and elsewhere.

That said, if one wants to make friends you just have to put yourself out there. If you have people worn similar interests at work, make effort to go to happy hours etc. Find groups that meet up for hobby things you’re interested in and regularly go. Emphasis on regularly as friendships don’t form immediately. The older you get the harder it is as more people are like me ane just busy and not looking for new friends and they don’t have time or energy to keep up with the ones they have.
 
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GeorgPrime

Bonus Member
Jan 9, 2020
2,153
2,564
530
What do you do to make friends? Are you a confident person at ease with plonking your butt down next to a stranger and initiating conversation? Do you have to take a few deep breaths before talking to someone around you? What are your tactics to increase your friendship pool! And in before someone says they're too cool for friends lol you're the worst already. :messenger_winking_tongue:

Friendship making can be hard so let's all talk about how we made some of our friends! Cool and interesting stories about how you made some of your closest friends are also very welcome here. Stories are awesome. Friendship is magic, or so I hear. ;)

When I was a kid I used to stare at people until they became so uncomfortable that they had to talk to me, which is how I met my best friend.

Now I prefer to be around closer friends, but when I'm trying to get to know people I usually try a more .. friendly approach.
(I don't stare at strangers anymore, don't worry.)

(and hands up if you thought this thread was going to be asking for advice from reading the title)

It is!

I talk to people i meet in every situation of life.

I have a lot of friends through online games and other stuff. Some 10 year old friends i know from school. Some old friends where i mostly communcaite through facebook.

Never had any problems with finding people/friends.
 
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AJUMP23

Member
Sep 29, 2020
1,356
1,312
370
I talk to people. I talk to people at work, or church. I think I make friends pretty easily.
 
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DadEggs

Member
May 26, 2011
15,044
3,925
1,225
ive given up on making friends. don't even need them to be frank.

got my dog.
got my wife.
got my kids.
got my family/brothers/nephews/nieces
got a coworker I mildly enjoy
got my childhood friends who i cant quit.
got my wifes childhood friends and their husbands who i endure.

if you dont have any of that and want an adult male friend...uh, try talking to locals in your area, or participating in activities you like. then making an effort.
 
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Durask

Member
Feb 6, 2012
2,689
1,804
770
I don't bother.
At my job I have to talk to people all the time and I work a lot, so when I am home I do not want to interact with other people aside from family.
Also, I found that I really don't get much benefit out of interacting with random people. I may sound like a jerk, but in most cases I can guess what they will be talking about and I will pretend that I am interested and maintain small talk

I have some acquaintances that I can go biking with (or some other outdoorsy activities).

I am sure there are interesting people out there but I don't have the desire or the energy to seek them out.
 
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May 8, 2016
1,560
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I feel like it's a matter of luck for me, meeting the right people at the right time, place, etc. So that's in part why I don't take them for granted and cherish their presence in my life
 
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