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Opinion Drama I had to tell my friend to cool it with his racism.

GamingKaiju

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Update:

He called in today and I brought it up with him and I just flat out said that I don’t agree with those type of views and his language made me feel uncomfortable.

He apologised and said that he did take it to an extreme point and has promised to not to use that type of language or rants in the future. I suggested trying to look up some stuff on YT (He seemed like he wanted too) but he did agree that those type of views ain’t really ok in today’s world and he isn’t living in the 1970s now.

🤷🏻‍♂️ Idk if he’ll change his views and I’m certainly not going to try but I’ll call him out in the future on his BS and perhaps overtime he does adopt a better position and understanding.

Thanks for the suggestions Gaf.
 
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bitbydeath

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Yeah if you only ever ignore it in a single person. But one becomes two two becomes three etc etc and eventually what you've done is ignore hate in everybody.


The best and only thing that you can do is to call it out when you see it and hope the chastisement is enough to make these idiots reevaluate their positions. If not then fuck'em. If your words don't get their attention then maybe the loss of friendship will.
Back in my day it was the irish who caught the brunt of the racism. Down where I grew up, nobody was safe though. It’s like South Park, you take the piss of everyone. No discrimination but Irish jokes were the rage. Times move on and change.
 
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Jaysen

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You’re not going to change the world through a single person so don’t even bother climbing on your high horse.
Clearly you’ll change it by ignoring it. If you don’t deal with it when it’s your family or friends, you’ll never deal with it.
 
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Jaysen

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Update:

He called in today and I brought it up with him and I just flat out said that I don’t agree with those type of views and his language made me feel uncomfortable.

He apologised and said that he did take it to an extreme point and has promised to not to use that type of language or rants in the future. I suggested trying to look up some stuff on YT (He seemed like he wanted too) but he did agree that those type of views ain’t really ok in today’s world and he isn’t living in the 1970s now.

🤷🏻‍♂️ Idk if he’ll change his views and I’m certainly not going to try but I’ll call him out in the future on his BS and perhaps overtime he does adopt a better position and understanding.

Thanks for the suggestions Gaf.
Good job. The notion that you should ignore it was stupid. You did the right thing, but now the onus is on him to become a better person.
 

LegendOfKage

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Anyway Gaf just wanna share something with you guys and get some input.
Racism to me always comes down to a form of hypocrisy. If he doesn't like being judged by the color of his skin, he shouldn't be doing it to others. My suggestion is don't talk about how he's wrong and needs to change. He is, and he should, but don't present it like that. Show respect to his stupid hypocritical beliefs (start by not calling them stupid or hypocritical), and he'll be more likely to show respect for yours. Instead of him being wrong, or you being right, talk about why you think the way you do.

Learn about values he has under some / most circumstances "individualism, fairness, logic, not judging a book by it's cover, not selecting the worst people in a group to represent that whole group" and suggest that racism contradicts those values.

Personally, I would use the tactic of confusion rather than confrontation "Why do you think that?" "I don't understand?"

[edit] I started typing all this up before reading your recent post. I'm glad you were able to at least confront the situation and have him agree to knocking it off in front of you.
 
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Claus Grimhildyr

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You can't cure people and the way things are going, even if he just spouts the occasional word you could end up getting shit for it.

I would drop him or at least cut any social media ties (or just drop social media).

You can ignore insults in charged situations, but if he is upping the ante despite what you say then he doesn't respect you. And that is a red flag.

You can educate. Dismissing people as unchangeable doesn't help anything.

Be more like Daryl Davis and less like Twitter.
 

bitbydeath

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Clearly you’ll change it by ignoring it. If you don’t deal with it when it’s your family or friends, you’ll never deal with it.
I think it gets overblown. On one hand you have people saying don’t be racist and then in the next thread the exact same people will say ‘fuck China’ and nobody says a word. Who has time to keep up with all the double standards?
 

Nobody_Important

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I think it gets overblown. On one hand you have people saying don’t be racist and then in the next thread the exact same people will say ‘fuck China’ and nobody says a word. Who has time to keep up with all the double standards?
Saying "fuck china" has nothing to do with racism?


People don't say "fuck China" because they hate asian people or Chinese people. They say it because China has absolutely brutal government and is actively harming the world in a variety of ways. Just like how criticism of Israel doesn't make you anti-Semitic or criticism of North Korea doesn't mean you hate Korean people.


Racism can of course be involved, but one does not necessarily mean the other.
 
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bitbydeath

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Saying "fuck china" has nothing to do with racism?


People don't say "fuck China" because they hate asian people or Chinese people. They say it because China has absolutely brutal government and is actively harming the world in a variety of ways. Just like how criticism of Israel doesn't make you anti-Semitic or criticism of North Korea doesn't mean you hate Korean people.


Racism can of course be involved, but one does not necessarily mean the other.
It still targets a race.
 

GymWolf

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I think it gets overblown. On one hand you have people saying don’t be racist and then in the next thread the exact same people will say ‘fuck China’ and nobody says a word. Who has time to keep up with all the double standards?
I mean, china released a virus that ruined milions of lives, it's not an immotivate racist thing to say in the slightest when there is a concrete reason behind.

I don't think that people who say fuck china actually hates most of chinese people because of their skin, it's just a rona thing, or a shitty communist government thing.
 

MastaKiiLA

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No. It targets a county's government and it's attitude toward the world. Race has nothing to do with it. People wouldn't be saying "fuck china" if it had a peaceful democracy and wasn't damaging the world.
That's optimistic thinking. That shit always bleeds into racism. Just look at all the sinophobia that arose because of COVID. Asians aren't the reason for the pandemic, but a lot of them caught a lot of undo hatred because of it. Hoping that people can separate race from politics, when an entire country is largely 1 race, is wrongheaded IMO. That said, I'm wary of veering off too far into politics talk. I just think the anti-China shit is just an easy excuse for people to express their racist thoughts.
 
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bitbydeath

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I mean, china released a virus that ruined milions of lives, it's not an immotivate racist thing to say in the slightest when there is a concrete reason behind.

I don't think that people who say fuck china actually hates most of chinese people because of their skin, it's just a rona thing, or a shitty communist government thing.
I agree. I’m not saying I’m above it, just pointing out the hypocrisy.
 

bitbydeath

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No. It targets a county's government and it's attitude toward the world. Race has nothing to do with it. People wouldn't be saying "fuck china" if it had a peaceful democracy and wasn't damaging the world.
Yet the words target a race. Making allowances for why doesn’t excuse anything. If China were the flavour of the week like some other races then the shoe would most certainly be on the other foot but in the current climate they are not a protected race.
 

Nobody_Important

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I agree. I’m not saying I’m above it, just pointing out the hypocrisy.
There is no hypocrisy though. I'm not sure how you aren't getting that.


Unless you are just trolling. In which case you got me I guess.
 

ipukespiders

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The driver of the car that OP's friend was yelling at

 

Claus Grimhildyr

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My experience disagrees. You can't help people who refuse to see the problem or don't want to change.

Your anecdotes don't matter in the face of reality. Daryl Davis is just one example of thousands who can do the exact thing you claim can't happen.
 
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DeafTourette

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Can’t you just IDK… ignore it and move on? Unless you’re his wife then it really shouldn’t matter to you.

Ignoring ish is how we got the third Reich and the Holocaust; how northern Americans of the majority population had chattel slavery in the south and Jim Crow laws throughout most of the US. If he's his friend, he should call him out on it .. especially since he said his friend's racist tirade made him uncomfortable. If I had a friend who was prejudiced against white people, I'd question my friendship with them and likely cut them off if they didn't want to listen to me and change ... They have to WANT to change... And that can only usually be with the help of those who love them.

That said .. talk to your friend from the heart, op. If he's virulently racist... Like he just doesn't want to listen and spouts off some mein Kampf ish... Release him. Because if he says something in your business to a customer... You're effed.
 

DeafTourette

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But it's not the same thing.

China released a virus that destroyed many lives.

The worse sin of black people was introducing the concept that obese=thicc=sexy to white americans and this cringe shit

Umm... Thick women has been a MAN thing for eons... Thin skinny women was a thing that started with Twiggy ... The super thin model. Look back at the European paintings of so-called beautiful women... They weren't all thin. Most were chunky.

And the pick is for African diaspora people's hair. You call it cringe, it's a necessity for that type (also mine) of hair.

Edit: and "the worst sin of black people"? Please!
 
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DeafTourette

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One more thing,

I follow two white men on TikTok who were born into racist Klan families. And these dudes are some of the biggest allies POC and LGBTQIA could ever have! They rose above their upbringing!
 

GymWolf

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Umm... Thick women has been a MAN thing for eons... Thin skinny women was a thing that started with Twiggy ... The super thin model. Look back at the European paintings of so-called beautiful women... They weren't all thin. Most were chunky.

And the pick is for African diaspora people's hair. You call it cringe, it's a necessity for that type (also mine) of hair.

Edit: and "the worst sin of black people"? Please!
Dude i was joking.

Although i saw people wearing that little comb just because they though it was cool :lollipop_squinting:
 
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IDKFA

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Saying "fuck china" has nothing to do with racism?


People don't say "fuck China" because they hate asian people or Chinese people. They say it because China has absolutely brutal government and is actively harming the world in a variety of ways. Just like how criticism of Israel doesn't make you anti-Semitic or criticism of North Korea doesn't mean you hate Korean people.


Racism can of course be involved, but one does not necessarily mean the other.

People saying "fuck China" isn't racist, but it is xenophobic and is still bigotry. You're targeting the nation and it's citizens.

If you hate the brutal Chinese government, then you should say "fuck the CCP".

Back onto the subject, I really think we need to do more as a society to tackle racism.

A while ago, there was an idea and a UK government petition to introduce a racism register in the UK, which would work very much like a sex offenders register.

This way, employers would be able to see if potential employees have any race-related offences and make a decision as to if they want hire a racist POS.

The register got some flak in the news because an idea was to put people on the register even if they used micro aggressions against minorities. This is something I agree with, because a micro aggression is a sign that somebody is most likely racist, so in that case it should be flagged on any potential racist register.
 
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Boss Mog

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People saying "fuck China" isn't racist, but it is xenophobic and is still bigotry. You're targeting the nation and it's citizens.

If you hate the brutal Chinese government, then you should say "fuck the CCP".

Back onto the subject, I really think we need to do more as a society to tackle racism.

A while ago, there was an idea and a UK government petition to introduce a racism register in the UK, which would work very much like a sex offenders register.

This way, employers would be able to see if potential employees have any race-related offences and make a decision as to if they want hire a racist POS.

The register got some flak in the news because an idea was to put people on the register even if they used micro aggressions against minorities. This is something I agree with, because a micro aggression is a sign that somebody is most likely racist, so in that case it should be flagged on any potential racist register.
The nazis liked to put people on lists too. Maybe everybody that committed a "microaggression" (ie disagreed with a POC) should be forced to wear a mark on their clothes so we can all tell who these "racists" are when they walk down the streets. :pie_eyeroll:
 
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IDKFA

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The nazis liked to put people on lists too. Maybe everybody that committed a "microaggression" (ie disagreed with a POC) should be forced to wear a mark on their clothes so we can all tell who these "racists" are when they walk down the streets. :pie_eyeroll:

I actually forgot myself with that last post. After posting it, I've noticed that it's probably too political so breaks the GAF guidelines. Apologies.

I just want to find a way to eliminate racism. If that means creating a race offenders register then so be it.
 
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nush

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A long haul flight from wherever you are.
What about saying « fuck China » to Chinese people?
Isn’t racism more of a context thing than an absolute?
(I’m truly wondering)

*Me in China* lets see if I get called racist if I go now to my neighbors apartment and say "Fuck China". Oh, I see your "Context thing" modifier. OK, so I'll go there and just say "Fuck this country" because the context is that this is where we are.

If your wondering the Chinese people here in China don't actually have an understanding of the concept racism at all.

My reaction to racist comments from Chinese mainlanders:

 
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Claus Grimhildyr

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I actually forgot myself with that last post. After posting it, I've noticed that it's probably too political so breaks the GAF guidelines. Apologies.

I just want to find a way to eliminate racism. If that means creating a race offenders register then so be it.

This is the dumbest, most regressive shit I have ever heard. Do you even read what you write?
 

Umbasaborne

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I have to work next to the biggest racist/homophobe/sexist piece of shit ive ever met in my entire life. Its my job, so i dont want to fight about politics (he really does though), so i grin through his shit, and bear it, and occasionally throw a piece of info his way that proves him wrong and causes him to go on a racist tirade for 10 minutes. Im gonna report him to hr if he keeps this shit up.
 
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Toots

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Paris, 🇫🇷
*Me in China* lets see if I get called racist if I go now to my neighbors apartment and say "Fuck China". Oh, I see your "Context thing" modifier. OK, so I'll go there and just say "Fuck this country" because the context is that this is where we are.

If your wondering the Chinese people here in China don't actually have an understanding of the concept racism at all.

My reaction to racist comments from Chinese mainlanders:

My idea was just to point out the stupidity of talking about racism in terms of absolute… thanks for replying anyway and reminding us that racism is a concept and as such open to interpretation.
 
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NahaNago

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*Me in China* lets see if I get called racist if I go now to my neighbors apartment and say "Fuck China". Oh, I see your "Context thing" modifier. OK, so I'll go there and just say "Fuck this country" because the context is that this is where we are.

If your wondering the Chinese people here in China don't actually have an understanding of the concept racism at all.

My reaction to racist comments from Chinese mainlanders:

I'm pretty sure that they can be racist to Japanese people.

Well you could definitely say Fuck the U.S. and I would be like but you are living and working in the U.S.
 
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People saying "fuck China" isn't racist, but it is xenophobic and is still bigotry. You're targeting the nation and it's citizens.
I lived in China for two years. I was in Hong Kong when China started cracking down on it and stripping people of their rights.

Fuck China.
 

DeafTourette

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Dude i was joking.

Although i saw people wearing that little comb just because they though it was cool :lollipop_squinting:

If you had the type of hair that it's for, you'd understand why folks like it.

And I didn't appreciate the "joke" ...
 

DeafTourette

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*Me in China* lets see if I get called racist if I go now to my neighbors apartment and say "Fuck China". Oh, I see your "Context thing" modifier. OK, so I'll go there and just say "Fuck this country" because the context is that this is where we are.

If your wondering the Chinese people here in China don't actually have an understanding of the concept racism at all.

My reaction to racist comments from Chinese mainlanders:


Pretty sure the Chinese have xenophobic racists. The way some treat the Japanese, black people, white people (though that's not as prevalent as towards other Asians and POC), etc.
 

GymWolf

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If you had the type of hair that it's for, you'd understand why folks like it.

And I didn't appreciate the "joke" ...
Yes i'm sure the like it, that doesn't change the fact that it look cringe to my eyes, exactly like the scottish kilt or some other ethnic dress\accessory, i can't control what make me laugh or what i find cringe\ridicolous.

Sorry if you didn't liked the joke, it was not my Intention to be a jackass, people in here knows that i'm mostly harmless :lollipop_grinning_sweat:
 
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DeafTourette

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Yes i'm sure the like it, that doesn't change the fact that it look cringe to my eyes, exactly like the scottish kilt or some other ethnic dress\accessory, i can't control what make me laugh or what i find cringe\ridicolous.

Sorry if you didn't liked the joke, it was not my Intention to be a jackass, people in here knows that i'm mostly harmless :lollipop_grinning_sweat:

All good, Bruv

Btw, I'm cringe. I'm an American who gets all his British slang from Dr. Who LMBO!
 
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