• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
  • Hey Guest. Check out the NeoGAF 2.2 Update Thread for details on our new Giphy integration and other new features.

Social Opinion Drama I hate kids

lyra-ixi

13 year old console warrior. Put me on ignore.
Aug 3, 2014
13,360
7,924
950
i can't stand them. i hated having to look after my little cousins. i will never have kids of my own. not only because i find them infuriating but the world could do with keeping population down and also i like spending money i work for. as soon as you have kids then you can kiss it all goodbye. my parents want to be grandparents...nah sorry that's not happening.

all i need are my cats :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: WildBoy

Stilton Disco

Member
Aug 22, 2014
7,057
7,886
780
England
Your brain is meant to rewire itself to switch from self preservation mode to parent mode either during pregnancy for women, or after you're introduced to your child as a man.

It doesn't always work mind you, but parenthood in the vast majority of cases really does alter your perception and attitudes towards children, both your own and usually by extension other peoples.

It's similar to how the part of the brain that controls empathy doesn't start to develop fully until around 12.
 

eot

Member
Apr 13, 2012
12,583
4,435
800
I don't think I could ever have children. Despite being a fairly social person I need my quiet time alone away from people. As a kid I was a night owl because I needed those hours when everyone else was asleep. Having a kid around and never having a moment of peace, I think it would actually drive me insane, or I would just leave and feel guilty about it.
 
Last edited:

Dr.D00p

Member
May 23, 2019
867
2,014
350
What I would add. From my experience, the relationship I have with my fiance definitely added to my willingness to change course about children. Without her, I would not have been open to it. For me, all of the pieces just fell into place.

You've been Pussie whipped, mother-fucker.

.Prince Harry style :messenger_winking:
 

lock2k

Member
Jun 13, 2018
6,061
9,291
645
Brazil
I don't feel anything..even with the kids of my friends...
My friends instead they are always happy when they see kids,they speak with them,plays,etc..
And if they are newborn they want to pick them up,they ask questions to parents..and we have to spend at least 40min speaking of kids...
And i am behind waiting like this:


I'm a sociopath?
You're not obligated to like them. I get it.

However, the bond I have with my daughter is the best thing of my life. She is like a mirror of my mind. It's just the most awesome feeling ever. Can't wait to have a second one. But it was always a call to me, I always knew, even when I was a child that I would have kids one day. There was no pressure from anyone. Some people are just born to do it.
 

Cyberpunkd

Member
Dec 16, 2020
455
777
335
I don't think I could ever have children. Despite being a fairly social person I need my quiet time alone away from people. As a kid I was a night owl because I needed those hours when everyone else was asleep. Having a kid around and never having a moment of peace, I think it would actually drive me insane, or I would just leave and feel guilty about it.
When they start sleeping alone (6-8 months old) it's basically like having the evenings to yourself. You put them to sleep and you are done till the morning.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nush

NeoIkaruGAF

Gold Member
Dec 8, 2019
1,231
2,190
505
There’s no way to skip that part of development, and having been a kid myself, I’m grateful not everyone hates them. Thinking back, I can only appreciate how patient and understanding grownups have been to me at the time.

I like them quite enough, and it’s always interesting and fun to observe how they act and reason. Teaches you a lot about perspective.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nikolino840

Valonquar

Member
Jun 27, 2013
2,518
1,296
755
Winston Salem, NC
I hate children. When a friend has a kid it's pretty much a death sentence for the friendship. Kids destroy everything, and bring nothing to the table I care about.

At 40+ years old I am so beyond tired of the "Do you have kids?" convo you have to have with every hair stylist, dentist, office person.
 

VAL0R

Member
Nov 14, 2017
1,411
2,304
470
I don't feel anything..even with the kids of my friends...
My friends instead they are always happy when they see kids,they speak with them,plays,etc..
And if they are newborn they want to pick them up,they ask questions to parents..and we have to spend at least 40min speaking of kids...
And i am behind waiting like this:


I'm a sociopath?

If you literally feel no warmth or compassion toward even good-natured children, then you definitely are psychologically disturbed. In this case, I would seek counseling. If you just find little kids generally annoying, it might not be a big deal.

I'm not saying this is true of you, but it's possible that feelings like this could be rooted in envy, selfishness, or some other moral defect. For example, I knew a woman once who hated, literally hated, children. She called them "vermin". Is it any surprise that she was an unattractive, bizarre old maid, who had no man and had faced rejection by men? One can easily imagine an envious hatred of happy motherhood distilling into the hatred of children over the years as she in loneliness watched her peers find happiness and make families.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nikolino840

TheContact

Gold Member
Jan 22, 2016
6,047
5,502
840
kids are great but i don't think anyone is ever prepared for how much time and effort they require for years and years and years
 

AJUMP23

Member
Sep 29, 2020
1,410
1,350
370
Others peoples kids are the worst. So it isn't a big deal not to like them. I have always enjoyed being around them for the most part. Except for rude kids, I would like to Punt them.
 

tkscz

Member
Oct 17, 2011
9,641
1,876
975
I'm a father so I can't agree with you obviously.

However, you're not a sociopath unless you're one of those crazy people who then tote their pets around like human babies in some mad attempt to "offend" those who have or want human children.
 

rofif

Member
Sep 13, 2019
4,228
5,620
585
Same here.... Me and my wife (31 and 30) do not have kids and don't want any.
We live comfortably enough and think that the are super annoying and we just don't feel the need to have them. We probably could afford kids but with some major financial sacrifices.
My sister has 2 kids and they are super annoying constantly(one more than the other). They adore me of course. I am THE Santa every year.
Also, we are atheists and my mother would not let me live if we did not baptized the kid and send it to first communion. She would either die of anger or murder me.
For example, we love dogs but do not have one because it requires a lot of time, care and we do not want it to sit alone whole day when we work.
And it does not help that my sister's husband is miserable all the time. The kids sure take a toll it seems... just an observation. Also, every friend goes away when they have a kid.
The pity thought of having to share my pc, console, steam library or whatever meaningless thing with my child makes me anxious... and I don't think it should. I know it's terrible way to think but I can't help to think what I think and to not feel any affliction towards having a kid.

So I am left conflicted. We do not want kids and do not feel the need to have kids. At the same time, it will probably kinda suck a lot when we get old since we will just be sad, alone and miserable. But I also feel that it is selfish to have kids in order to build Your elderlyhood. And in the end, You might not like Your kids, they might not like You or live in another country. I am not sure how to proceed but for sure we do not feel it... To abandon out bedroom,(would be a room for kid) limit our free time and hobbies... all of that for annoying kids who will probably hate me.

edit: tl;dr me and my wife are selfish fucks
 
Last edited:

rofif

Member
Sep 13, 2019
4,228
5,620
585
It's not for everyone. I have a 10 month old and honestly, I never wanted kids until 18-19 months or so back. I'm almost 39 so there is still hope for you OP.

What I would add. From my experience, the relationship I have with my fiance definitely added to my willingness to change course about children. Without her, I would not have been open to it. For me, all of the pieces just fell into place.
how old is the fiancee? if You are 39, You will be really old parents right ?
 
  • Thoughtful
Reactions: mekes

Moogle11

Member
Feb 7, 2020
1,523
1,462
565
I'm with you there. Never remotely wanted them, got a Vasectomy nearly a decade a go to take the risk of having them away after meeting my now wife who also can't stand and never wanted kids. We actively avoid places that have lots of kids running around etc. as they just drive us nuts. Thankfully we have nice close knit friend group of other mostly child free people/couples.
 

highrider

Member
Dec 18, 2010
11,381
6,461
1,155
53
washington d.c.
I don't feel anything..even with the kids of my friends...
My friends instead they are always happy when they see kids,they speak with them,plays,etc..
And if they are newborn they want to pick them up,they ask questions to parents..and we have to spend at least 40min speaking of kids...
And i am behind waiting like this:


I'm a sociopath?
Naah just white and western ( probably )
 
  • LOL
Reactions: nikolino840

John2290

Member
Feb 24, 2018
689
683
460
Same, I never know what level of consciousness they are at or if I should talk to them like you'd talk to a dog or make a more mature comment that'd fly over their head or how to speak to them at all really. I remember when I was a child and someone would try and make a comment that they'd think would fly over the head while i smile, nod along while thinking "is this absolute twat bag serious, does he/she think I'm a damn baby or what? Fuck this person". It freaks me out how that line has moved so far back cause of parents putting ipads in their childrens hands right of the womb.
 

DogofWar

Member
Jun 11, 2020
721
1,486
480
People don't like kids because they are a responsibility.

But don't worry, lots of people nowadays prioritize other things. Such as video game figurines or similiar important things until they grow old and die alone with no one left to love them.
 

OmegaSupreme

basic bitch
Apr 17, 2019
4,097
6,608
685
Smells a bit like a ree "fuck dem kids" thread honestly. I do agree that other kids besides your own can be annoying.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: DogofWar

rofif

Member
Sep 13, 2019
4,228
5,620
585
People don't like kids because they are a responsibility.

But don't worry, lots of people nowadays prioritize other things. Such as video game figurines or similiar important things until they grow old and die alone with no one left to love them.
sure, that's my worry too but also - having kids does not guarantee that they will like You, take care of you or even live in the same part of the world.
It is a nice thought but not a guarantee
 
  • Thoughtful
Reactions: Aesius

DogofWar

Member
Jun 11, 2020
721
1,486
480
sure, that's my worry too but also - having kids does not guarantee that they will like You, take care of you or even live in the same part of the world.
It is a nice thought but not a guarantee

I was a little extra mean for the sake of argument in my comment yes. Of course nothing is ever taken for granted but I somehow do not worry at all that my kids would not like me. Good parents raise good kids with so few exceptions that they are not worthy to take into account honestly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aesius and rofif
May 8, 2019
398
656
305
Not having kids does not mean you'll be alone or lonely in old age. There are things you can do like have pets, join some kind of club, take classes, volunteer etc.
 

HarryKS

Member
Jan 24, 2010
4,470
1,810
1,145
It's annoying when people feel self-important when they announce they are having a baby, yet probably can't afford one and shouldn't have one(specifically referencing a coworker at my shitty job). They have a different attitude.

Having kids just for the sake of having kids or that society says you're "supposed to" does not make you important or better than people who choose not to have kids lol.
Your line ends with you son. Are you winning?
 

highrider

Member
Dec 18, 2010
11,381
6,461
1,155
53
washington d.c.
It’s important to remember society wants you to have kids, but generally the more educated and egalitarian society may become the less they are likely to feel that obligation, particularly if they’ve been taught to value freedom from responsibility over shouldering it.
 

mekes

Member
Jun 30, 2013
2,992
2,809
775
London, UK
how old is the fiancee? if You are 39, You will be really old parents right ?
In some ways yes and in others no. We have both been quite career driven and children were not important for either of us in the past. In the UK where we are, leaving children til later is starting to become more common.
 

rofif

Member
Sep 13, 2019
4,228
5,620
585
In some ways yes and in others no. We have both been quite career driven and children were not important for either of us in the past. In the UK where we are, leaving children til later is starting to become more common.
Yeah that's a normal thing recently. My family is very young and a though (especially for woman) to have a child after 30 is a much
 

JayK47

Member
Nov 2, 2019
473
712
305
There is definitely a lot of pressure to not have kids these days. Especially now. I can't imagine having kids right now. We waited until our late 30s to have kids and it was a little late to be honest. My kids are still young and I am not looking forward to them getting older and all of the BS they have to deal with today. Kids these days have so much BS to deal with compared to when I was a kid. Way too much access to garbage before their young brains can properly process it. I used to run around town by myself or friends when I was young with no supervision and no reason for concern. I can't even imagine letting my kids do that.

Anyways, if you are financially able and live in a nice area, having kids is not so bad. Now that I have kids, I can't imagine not having kids. I just think, when I am much older, who is going to give a shit about me if I were not to have kids? Dying alone scares me, and is probably one of the main reasons I had kids.
 

nikolino840

Member
Dec 30, 2018
3,607
3,920
610
36
There is definitely a lot of pressure to not have kids these days. Especially now. I can't imagine having kids right now. We waited until our late 30s to have kids and it was a little late to be honest. My kids are still young and I am not looking forward to them getting older and all of the BS they have to deal with today. Kids these days have so much BS to deal with compared to when I was a kid. Way too much access to garbage before their young brains can properly process it. I used to run around town by myself or friends when I was young with no supervision and no reason for concern. I can't even imagine letting my kids do that.

Anyways, if you are financially able and live in a nice area, having kids is not so bad. Now that I have kids, I can't imagine not having kids. I just think, when I am much older, who is going to give a shit about me if I were not to have kids? Dying alone scares me, and is probably one of the main reasons I had kids.
My mom , lol
But need a girl first
 

WildBoy

Member
Jun 13, 2019
193
228
245
People don't like kids because they are a responsibility.

But don't worry, lots of people nowadays prioritize other things. Such as video game figurines or similiar important things until they grow old and die alone with no one left to love them.
No matter who you are you are most likely going to die alone figuratively as well as literally... Having kids does not ensure you will die with people around you.
 

Moogle11

Member
Feb 7, 2020
1,523
1,462
565
No matter who you are you are most likely going to die alone figuratively as well as literally... Having kids does not ensure you will die with people around you.

Yep. Less so in other countries were adult children taking care of their elderly parents is the norm, but having kids certainly doesn't mean not dying alone here. Hell, my parents would be mortified if my brother or I had to care for them and were deliberate in saving up enough for in-home care, nursing homes etc. if needed.

Plus, my wife is 6 years younger than me, so as long as average life expectancy bears out I should die first anyway. :D In any case, I'd rather die alone than had to suffer through years of caring for kids I never wanted (hell, I don't even like having pets to care for), spending hundreds of thousands raising them that could go to having a better life, retiring younger etc. Easy trade off for me. Obviously different for people who want kids. To each their own.